Steve Bell's Conservative conference diary

Sunday afternoon in the conference hall in the International Convention Centre in Birmingham and all is blue. In 28 years at the sketchface I’ve never attended a party conference set on a proper stage behind a proscenium arch before. There is a delightful pit reserved for photographers and I am able to get a very good view of William Hague in mid-rant Photograph: Steve Bell

Low-key seems to be the watchword today as we are launched into a chat session on the economy hosted by George Osborne. George tries desperately to look serious, but cannot restrain his inner bounce. I check to see that his bum nose is still in evidence Photograph: Steve Bell

The PPC for Luton, Jeremy Briers, who resembles a bespectacled but madder and younger David Cameron, discusses the plight of the “unbanked” as the Tory proposals to revive the Post Office card account are discussed Photograph: Steve Bell

Keeley Rogers, a Brummie who is so ordinary that she is also Tory candidate for Northfield, pleads for the government to get off her back and to be left to get on with it. Osborne, by now quite beside himself with joy, describes her words as the best summing up of Tory philosophy he has ever heard Photograph: Steve Bell

Boris Johnson, his hair looking quite normal for once Photograph: Steve Bell

I turn away for a moment and when I look back, the old mad-hair Boris has reappeared. He must have hit his head with a rake while my attention was elsewhere Photograph: Steve Bell