Late-night hosts discussed reports of a transphobic new ruling from the Trump administration and the president’s attempts to make nice with Ted Cruz.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert started by discussing Donald Trump’s support for Ted Cruz, who he used to refer to as “Lyin’ Ted Cruz” as well as accusing his father of killing John F Kennedy. His new nickname is “Beautiful Ted”, which led Colbert to joke that “his father didn’t kill JFK, his father had sex with JFK”.
He added: “Somewhere Ted Nugent is weeping over his assault rifle.”
He then moved on to the “random cruelty” of the Trump government. “This time they spun the wheel of discrimination and they landed on transgender,” he said.
A report has emerged that the White House is planning to “define transgender out of existence” by insisting that gender can only be decided at birth “on a biological basis … grounded in science”. “Oh, now you care about science?” he joked. “Wow, how convenient.”
Colbert added: “Gender is clearly a spectrum, we know this.”
The death of Jamal Khashoggi has continued to cause division, with the latest claim from the Saudis that it was the result of an accident leading many Republicans to speak out. Colbert joked that he probably “tripped down some extremely pointy stairs” before quoting Trump saying he would love if it Saudi prince Mohammed bin Salman wasn’t involved.
“That’s a nice unbiased investigation,” he said. “It’s like an NFL referee announcing the play is under review: ‘I would love it if it’s a touchdown, I got a lot of money on this game, go Bears!’”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host also joked about Trump’s new nickname for Ted Cruz. “You can call Ted Cruz a lot of things but beautiful is not one of them,” he said.
Meyers moved on to show a montage of Republicans calling the left a mob before showing a picture from the infamous Charlottesville rally. “I can only remember one mob in recent history and I’m positive they weren’t Democrats,” he said. “Democrats only use tiki torches to keep mosquitoes away from their vegan barbeques.”
He continued: “If you took any picture of Trump’s aides and added Clemenza from The Godfather, no one would notice.”
The same mob reference was also made in Trump’s latest Rose Garden video. “You look like you just wandered out of those bushes and made a stranger point a camera at you,” he said. “It looks like a Bigfoot video where Bigfoot decided to try his hand at public speaking.”
Last week Trump told attendees at a rally in Montana that he supports Republican Greg Gianforte and appreciates that he assaulted a Guardian reporter. “He’s an actual crime boss,” Meyers said. “I mean look at him, he sweats like he’s being dangled off the side of a roof by Batman.”
He also spoke about Trump’s continued support of the Saudis, replaying footage of him speaking about his financial connection to them in 2015. “They give me money so I like them is the literal definition of a bribe,” he said.
