Stephen Colbert
“Folks, for four years, we’ve looked on in horror as Donald Trump tore down every norm in American life, from the constitution, to English syntax, to the definition of the food pyramid,” said Stephen Colbert in his first live show since the pandemic drove him from the studio in March. The Late Show host reacted in real time to the first night of the (virtual) Democratic national convention, in which Democrats launched what Colbert termed “America Endgame”.
The convention’s first night featured a hodgepodge of pre-filmed segments from a variety of celebrities and political figures, including former Ohio governor and Republican presidential candidate John Kasich, who delivered a message underlining the convention’s theme, “uniting America”. The line, Colbert noted, is “slightly more inspiring than the Republican convention theme: ‘Gas protesters and throw mailboxes into the sea.’”
Another common refrain of the evening was “we the people”, which ordinary citizens from around the nation echoed in recorded videos. “You know how when you repeat something over and over again, it starts to lose all meaning?” Colbert said of the convention’s invocation. “This is the exact opposite of that.”
The repetition left Colbert “deeply moved, not just because some of my best friends are people”, he said. “It’s because this feels like the real beginning of the election. And a chance for the American people to do the work that our elected officials failed to do for the last four years, and that’s hold Donald Trump accountable.”
It’s like you’re in the middle of a road trip, Colbert explained, “and you realized Dad’s lost and we have to take the wheel – and also send Dad to jail for stealing the car.”
Former first lady Michelle Obama delivered the keynote address, in which she offered what Colbert joked was the “strongest possible endorsement” for Joe Biden: “I know Joe.”
“Good enough for me!” Colbert shouted. “Release the balloons! He knows Michelle Obama!”
Trevor Noah
The #DemConvention kicks off with no crowds, no dancing, and no Bill Clinton kissing booth. Meanwhile, Trump is a little too proud of his boat parade. pic.twitter.com/t06Ayk0o1u
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) August 18, 2020
For the first time, the political party conventions are going virtual, which means, “no crowds, no dancing, no balloon drops, and definitely no Bill Clinton kissing booth,” said Trevor Noah on the Daily Show.
“Honestly, I’m looking forward to watching speeches without the crowd cheering every other sentence,” Noah added. But on the other hand, “we all have to admit that a convention which takes place over Zoom just doesn’t have the same juice. Like, imagine if Obama had to do one of his favorite speeches, but on Zoom.”
From progressives such as Senator Bernie Sanders to John Kasich and other Republicans who have defected from the party backing Trump, the convention’s first night was “meant to showcase the broader appeal of Joe Biden across the political spectrum”, Noah explained.
Joe Biden is “basically the Cheerios of presidential candidates”, he added. “He’s not the most exciting option, but deep down, you know he’s good for you.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers took a closer look at the Trump administration’s attempts to privatize or otherwise undercut the US postal service in the run-up to an election that will probably depend on mail-in ballots.
“Even before Donald Trump’s rise to power, there was a decades-long effort by rightwing billionaires and dead-eyed corporate husks to privatize the post office,” Meyers said, despite polls demonstrating the post office is the single most popular government agency.
The Trump administration’s escalation of calls to privatize the post office aren’t new, Meyers explained. “It’s been a goal of the conservative movement for years. They want to turn one of America’s most cherished institutions into a chain restaurant where you can buy a pack of stamps and unlimited breadsticks.”
A central tenet of the privatization argument is that the post office is a poorly run business that loses money, as summed up by the Fox Business host Trish Regan, who tweeted “it’s just a bad business! Poorly run. Loses billions … we need to make it more accountable, not keep throwing money at it.”
“Yeah, but it’s not a business!” Meyers corrected. “So telling that you ghouls never say stuff like this about Ice or the police. The Pentagon has had more flops than Johnny Depp but you guys still love throwing money at it.”
Also, the post office was profitable, and would be today, if not for a law passed by the Republican Congress in 2006 which mandated the agency to pre-fund 75 years of health benefits and pensions in a decade, something neither the government nor private companies are required to do.
Which means, Meyers said, that “the same Republicans who are now complaining that the post office loses money are the ones responsible for the post office losing money.”
