Star warps reality

Who would have thought it? The Daily Star today claims victory in its two-day long campaign to save Coronation Street's Rovers Return pub from closure. Except it was never going to close in the first place. The Star tells its readers that the pub will in fact only get a lick of paint and it won't even close for a single day! Which you would have known if you had read ITV's categorical denial after the paper's first story appeared on Wednesday. Monkey expected the Star to have wrung out the campaign for at least another couple of days before the inevitable cry of "victory!", but of course the new Big Brother series started last night so it has something else to write about now. Which incidentally led to another ridiculous splash headline this morning - "Jade back in Celeb Big Bro" - next to a picture of Jade Goody. Except she isn't. When you get to the actual story on page 4, it boils down to someone, somewhere, on a web talkboard saying "Bring back Jade Goody!". Did you never hear the story about the boy who cried wolf, guys?