I am at a club for stand-up open mic, having stage fear, this amateur night. I always wanted to do stand-up but I never gave it a second thought. After desperately pleading with my mother to allow me to go, I joined my office colleagues. So, I reached the venue an hour before. After being my usual shy self, I stood outside the venue for 10 minutes, to muster the courage to go inside.
I am sitting in a room full of men. My discomfort is visible. I am intrigued by some poetry, though I am not a huge fan of poets. I am terrified, I think my nerves are getting the better of me. Sweat drips down my face and my heart is pounding.
People define me as a reserved and insular girl. This is something I have never tried in my entire life. I feel like electricity is running through my body. I hardly ate anything all day. This is not my comfort zone; I doubt myself whether I would be able to do that or not.
I rarely crack jokes when I am with my friends. I prefer smirk over loud laugh. The idea of getting on stage, holding a mike, making jokes, not knowing how people might react, makes me feel anxious. This is completely unusual for me. Now I wonder why I took it.
New challenge
I accepted this challenge to polish myself, to add productivity in my life. When I first decided to take this, I went home, discussed with my mother and went through comic videos of my all-time favourite Rajat Chauhan. After hours of rehearsal and practice, I am still not confident. If I say something not funny, the audience will make fun of me. My fear is haunting me. I have been fumbling in my last rehearsal. Memorising script and order are the biggest challenge for me. I know people would be judging every word coming out of my mouth. I have been eagerly waiting for my turn with clammy hands.
I will be overcoming stage fright in a while. My heart is sinking. It’s magical, earth is shattering. The host calls my name. It’s happening. I take a deep breath and crack my first joke. It’s a laugh. Comedy is impossible for me. I have done multiple gigs and many of them went without laugh. I am really not a good comedian. I have performed for about 10 minutes. Anyway, nobody comes to compliment me. My friend Shailendra is giving me invaluable advice which I always welcome. I reckon I have to practise more before I can even begin to think of myself as a proper comedian. Not everyone can make a joke. I failed to connect with audience. I am not an expert, just want to give stand-up a go! It’s a start.
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