'An utterly cynical venture' ... Spooks: Code 9. Photograph: Kudos/BBC
As spin-offs go, Spooks: Code 9 is ropey indeed. I can't quite decide what's most irritating - the clunky, lazy writing, the fact that they all live in a house together, the random relocation to Leeds, an insistence on making the female spies dance suggestively in club scenes, the dreadful haircut sported by Georgia Moffet, or a combination of all of the above. But whatever it is, Spooks Code 9 is an utterly cynical venture and a damning indictment of the lack of imagination at work in commissioning new drama. (BBC3 will commission this twaddle but not the genuinely intriguing The Things I Haven't Told You. You go figure, because I'm close to giving up.)
Moreover, given its patronising awfulness, SC9 actually damages the Spooks brand. And that's what it's about - the brand. Increasingly in drama, it seems to be all about how a drama can be marketed. And boy, does that suck.
So in the spirit of brand extension and targeting demographics, pitch me your ideas for the most preposterous spin-offs you can think of. I've lately wondered why they don't do a Young Miss Marple. Presumably the keepers of the Agatha Christie flame are against such things, otherwise it would have happened already. It couldn't possibly be ropier/hammier/more irksome than the current Marples. (Sorry, Agatha Christie's Marple. As opposed to anyone else's, one presumes.)
So how about Law Student John Deed? Or a drama about the old dogs of New Tricks as young pups? Secret Diary of a Rent Boy? B&B Babylon? Actually, as Fashion Babylon is apparently on its way, perhaps we shouldn't joke about that last one.
