Rihanna: You can stand under her umbrella, but she'd prefer it if you bought your own. Photograph: Stephen Chernin/AP
The reign must one day come to an end. After 10 weeks, the nation is only now beginning to ask itself how it will cope in a Britain where Rihanna's Umbrella is not the number one single. I fear that the answer is: rather badly.
Thankfully Rihanna has also been pondering this question and has rather helpfully supplied a handy solution with the launch of her own range of umbrellas.
There is nothing surprising about celebrities promoting personalised merchandise but usually - as with Kate Moss, Kylie and Shilpa Shetty - it is clothes, underwear and perfume. Celine Dion apparently has her own range of water bottles but the launch of Rihanna umbrellas is, I think, the first time that a product range has been launched which is inspired by the song rather than the artist.
Def Jam and Rihanna's commercial savvy must have other musicians poring through their back catalogues to see what merchandising opportunities they might have missed. Surely it is only a matter of time before sixties prog rockers Procol Harum team up with Dulux to offer a whiter shade of pale in either matt or gloss. Noel and Liam could possibly be in talks to offer their fans Oasis branded cigarettes and alcohol while Morrissey could appeal to the environmentally conscious with 'there is a light that never goes out' energy-saving bulbs. How about Arctic Monkeys Mardy Bumbags? And finally my favourite suggestion: Michael Jackson's personalised range of denim naturally called Billie Jeans?
