The Bulls appear to possibly be on the hunt for a new general manager after reports broke on Wednesday that the team had talked to Bryan “Process” Colangelo, he of the supposed wife’s burner accounts.
The team currently has John Paxson and Gar Forman sharing GM duties, but neither have inspired much confidence.
Enter Brooklyn Nets guard Spencer Dinwiddie, who announced that he was going to “play a game” where he would imagine himself as the first ever player/GM* of the Bulls, and then gave his audition tape: A glorious Twitter thread where he outlined his plan to fix the entire franchise.
(I’d argue LeBron James has been acting as a player/GM for years, but that’s another blog.)
Anyway, on to Dinwiddie’s plan to fix the Bulls:
1. Trade for himself
First up as Bulls GM, Dinwiddie would trade Tomas Satoransky to the Nets for … Spencer Dinwiddie. Apparently, he’d be willing to give up a draft pick in this transaction.
2. Agree to sign with Klutch Sports in order to get Anthony Davis
Here’s where Dinwiddie gets a little loosey goosey with tampering rules, but whatever. I know of nothing in the NBA rule book that explicitly forbids a player/GM from issuing a quid pro quo to an agent in which he agrees to sign with an agency in exchange for delivery of a prized player in a massive trade.
Why the Nets would agree to this trade? Unclear. But don’t worry about that. Just keep moving.
3. Keep Zach LaVine, Coby White, and Lauri Markannen
He’d also keep the bench guys that are currently on the roster, plus sign a vet or two (“Jared Dudley types”) to round out the back of the bench.
4. Sign Moe Harkless or Robert Covington to round out starting 5
He’d trade Arcidiacano and Kormet to make the deal happen, then add one more veteran 3-and-D guy.
5. Draft a midsize wing, and then trade Otto Porter for Andre Drummond
Kinda buried the lede with the Andre Drummond trade, but he’s got some added big-man depth with this trade.
6. Actually let Kevin Durant run the whole thing
Look at this Usual Suspects style reveal:
Here’s the beauty of Spencer Dinwiddie’s plan to be the Bulls GM. He won’t actually be the Bulls GM. Kevin Durant will be the Bulls GM.
This is his grand flourish, the real way this will all go down, and it’s genius.
Do it, Bulls. Pull the trigger. Don’t worry that none of the math makes sense and all of these trades are preposterous. Give your team to Spencer Dinwiddie, and let him cook.
