ROOTED OUT
“People generally tend to lose their position as a result of not doing their job,” sniffed a portentous statement issued by Southend United following the dismissal of their groundsman Ken Hare earlier this week. An employee of the club for 27 years, Hare was blamed for last Saturday’s postponement of the club’s League One fixture against Bolton four hours before kick-off due to a frozen pitch and was subsequently sacked by the club chairman Ron Martin.
“The necessary decision surrounding Mr Hare was a disappointment and of course not taken lightly,” continued the statement, failing to explain why a cold snap would be down to human error. “Very [few] people have been dismissed at this football club over the past 20 years and that even extends to managers.” Following a weekend when four other English Football League games and nine National League South matches were postponed following several nights of sub-zero temperatures, Martin’s decision to sack Hare has been roundly criticised. So much so that now Bolton fans, many of whom had a wasted 492-mile round trip to Roots Hall, have set up a petition to have the groundsman reinstated.
“Head groundsman for Southend United, Ken Hare, has since been sacked after 27 years in the job for what was probably a simple error of judgement,” it reads. “We Bolton fans are disgusted with this and want to work together to get him his job back. It is always disappointing when a match is postponed but he does not deserve to lose his job, which we are all sure he was very good at, just for this.”
There seems little doubt that Hare was good at his job. Indeed, on 14 January his former employers praised his “tireless” work on social media in a tweet that was deleted following his sacking just over a week later. “The pitch is looking [good],” it read before its mysterious disappearance. “Hats off to the groundsmen here at Roots Hall who have worked tirelessly.” How quickly they forget.
Curiously, Hare is still listed as “head groundsman” on the Southend website’s “Key Contacts” section, a list of names every Football League club is obliged to publish and keep updated by EFL Regulation 105. “The ultimate owner for the purposes of the above regulation is Ron Martin,” says a footnote on the page in question, suggesting that the responsibility for abiding by this simple EFL diktat lies with the chairman. Given his enthusiasm for imposing the ultimate sanction on people he perceives not to have done their jobs properly, it will, be intriguing to see how Mr Martin punishes himself on the back of this breach of EFL rules.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I have always been clear that Millwall must be at the heart of the development and it is my view that these concerns need to be thoroughly addressed, the CPO should not proceed and that all parties concerned should enter discussions to identify an agreed way to achieve the regeneration of this area while resolving these concerns” – Lewisham mayor Steve Bullock calls time on the plan to seize Millwall’s land around the Den by compulsory purchase after fierce resistance. And some strong work by Proper Journalism’s Barney Ronay.
FIVER LETTERS
“Let’s face it, the Stop Football campaign has been a complete and utter failure, a disaster. So instead, why not Make British Football Great Again? We all know that Uefa is obsolete; who needs its interfering FFP rules? We’ll pay our players what they deserve (or want). We’ll reintroduce a cap on immigrants, who are taking away British footballers’ jobs and denying our national teams sufficient prospects. These national teams were total losers … soon they’re gonna be great, absolutely great! Immediate withdrawal from Big Vase will spare our elite clubs from Thursdays in the outer reaches of Azerbaijan. Then we’ll renegotiate six or more automatic places in Big Cup. If Uefa doesn’t like it, we will simply invite over their (over-rated) league champions to play midweek floodlit fixtures against our nation’s finest! It’s British Football First!” – Brian Chadbourne.
“Apropos Ross McCormack, I feel journalists are missing a trick here. I have yet to see the headline ‘Gate-gate’” – Allastair McGillivray.
“Is the new Spurs Cheese emporium (Fivers passim) a standalone venture? Or does it sit alongside other fine purveyors of meats and comestibles as part of some kind of Deli Alley?” – Chris Walker.
“I suggest that you add Edward Gorey (sadly deceased) to the ‘List of People we Admire’ (yesterday’s Fiver). Not only for his dark and sinister children’s books (which I suspect Granny Fiver would find wonderfully entertaining), but also for his exceptional illustrations. I am especially fond of his drawing of a woman lying on the edge of a tall building, clad in a diaphanous gown, holding a kerchief in her hand, and wailing ‘Oh, oh!’ in a pitiful fashion (this image is also part of the opening credits of an American television show called Masterpiece on PBS which generally broadcasts British shows). The woman is an absolutely perfect example (save for her gender) of the whinging we always observe from our football managers, ie José Mourinho” – Bob Zoellner.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Chris Walker.
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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Police are set to investigate video footage of tram passengers chanting antisemitic abuse before Manchester City’s game against Tottenham last weekend.
Philippe Coutinho says he’s honoured to trouser £52m basic over the next five years, and will up his effort levels to match. “I am very happy to sign,” he tooted. “I will work much harder to repay the belief shown in me.”
Sunderland defender Papy Djilobodji has denied an FA charge of violent conduct for gloving Darren Fletcher in the face.
Marcos Rojo is back from illness-knack, so Manchester United have close to a full squad available for Thursday’s Milk Cup semi-final second leg. Hull will be without Curtis Davies (hamstring-twang) and Robert Snodgrass (transfer-gah).
More transfers! Everton have loaned in Anton Donkor from Wolfsburg, Palace plan to lob £9m at Norwich for Robbie Brady, Iceland’s Birkir Bjarnason has arrived at Villa, and everyone wants a piece of Grimsby’s Omar Bogle, son of Elvis.
And Tuesday’s London County Cup game between Greenwich Borough and Hanwell Town was called off after 15 minutes. Highlights here.
STILL WANT MORE?
Proper Journalism’s David Conn on the curious case of Farhad Moshiri, Alisher Usmanov and new money at Everton.
“I do hate to rain on a men’s march, but I can imagine very few exceptions in which someone – anyone – lacking a Y chromosome could lower the FA quality of service. Honestly, if she’s not underage, Katie Hopkins or doing a 10-stretch, what’s the problem? How could it possibly be worse?” Marina Hyde on FA reform.
Which footballers have roads named after them in unusual places? Let The Knowledge enlighten you.
West Ham can afford to sell Dimitri Payet but they must keep Andy Carroll fit, writes Martin Laurence.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
