Full-time: Southampton 0-1 Swansea
Well, well. What a win for Swansea and what a goal to seal it for them. For long parts of that match, Southampton dominated possession and looked the more dangerous side. But Swansea held on, dug in and are now only the third team to win at Southampton this season. Good for them. The home fans ain’t happy though. They booooooooo the Hell out of the final whistle. Anyway. That’s all from me. I am off to bed. Thanks for all the emails and tweet. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Bye!
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90 + 2 mins Southampton earn yet another corner. Southampton fail to do anything with another corner. Moments later, Pellè blasts one over the stand and into the car park.
90 mins Barrow leaves the pitch on a stretcher. Amat comes on. There are four minutes to be added on but there will be more after that delay.
RED CARD! (Bertrand)
89 mins Bertrand walks and deserves too (though he doesn’t think so and let’s the world know). He went high on Barrow’s shin and his two feet are off the ground, plus he didn’t get the ball. He can have no arguments. Barrow is down and in some pain. He’ll have to be taken off.
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87 mins And now we have some brilliant defending to savour. Mané was put through on goal and chipped the ball over Fabianski. The home fans though this was it but Williams had other ideas. He read the situation perfectly and saved the day for his side, heading the ball off the line. Seconds later he repeated his heroics after another close-range effort from Mané, this time with his foot.
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85 mins Some sub news from a few minutes ago. Naughton leaves to be replaced by Rangel.
Oh this is terrific from the former Liverpool man. Swansea played the ball out of defence and up the field. It came to Barrow and he held the ball up before passing inside to Shelvey. He took one touch, before shifting the ball pass a posse of Southampton defender and hitting the top corner with a brilliant strike from all of 25 yards out.
GOAL! Southampton 0-1 Swansea (Shelvey)
Holy smokes!
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80 mins Swansea come on the attack via Williams of all players. Clyne checks their momentum by kicking one out for a throw. Swansea keep trying their luck until Barrow is caught offside. Barrow, incidentally, exchanged some handbags with Bertrand after the whistle was blown.
78 mins Another corner to Southampton. Another one wasted. Meanwhile, Mané tries one from long-range. Fabianski saves it easily.
76 mins Elia, who has been a joy to watch today, makes a mockery of Naughton on the right, with his flicks and step-overs. He then puts a quick and dangerous ball across the box but there is no one in there to do anything with it.
74 mins “I liked Boyhood” says Harry Tuttle. “Probably because I’m really clever and sensitive, like.”
72 mins Mané has the ball outside the box. He looks to the right and sees the run of Bertrand. He finds the full-back and the full-back finds the box with his cross. Pellè goes up for it but a well-timed nudge from Taylor puts him off and soon enough Swansea shut the door once more. There plenty of very audible groans from the home fans right about now.
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70 mins Free-kick to Southampton wide on the right. Tadic and Ward-Prowse stand over it. It is Ward-Prowse who takes. It floats over Pellè’s head but it comes to the feet of Fonte (I think). Once he gets the ball out from under his feet, he tries his luck but Swansea charge it down.
68 mins Have only just seen a replay of Shelvey hitting the post. He had run from deep before striking one along the ground. Forster was beaten. Unfortunately for Shelvey, the post was not. Swansea have been good these last few minutes.
66 mins Yoshida pushes Barrow to the ground just outside the box, after a decent run from the Swansea sub. A yellow card it is. Shelvey stands over the free-kick. And Shelvey hits the wall (after slipping). Ho hum!
64 mins “I don’t really ‘do’ films,” says Matt Dony, “but I’m still bewildered by the critical acclaim hurled at War on Drugs. Formulaic, stodgy, the odd flash of inspiration, and altogether more success than seems reasonable. Kinda like Big Sam’s West Ham. (Don’t bother trying to convince me otherwise. West Ham supporting friends have tried. Next season they’ll be back in lower mid-table.)” You’re in good company Matt, Michael Owen doesn’t do movies either.
62 mins Reed goes, Mané comes.
60 mins My, oh, my. Forster has had nothing to do all day but he almost gave away a goal just there. A Shelvey shot was deflecting wide for a corner but he decided to run for it and try stop that. He did so but his clearance went right to Taylor on the corner of the box. With the goal at his mercy, he should it first time, but he dawdles and Clyne gets back and snuffs the ball away from him. Moments after that Shelvey hit the post from distance.
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58 mins “The reviews of Boyhood made it sound so appallingly worthy that i couldn’t bring myself to watch it,” cheers Hugh Collins. “Would it have killed Linklater to include a character who occasionally double crosses somebody, or pulls a gun on another character?” Exactly! Meanwhile, Southampton have gone slack over the last few minutes (and so too have the home fans, who started out so noisily.) Koeman ain’t happy with that and he lets his players know.
56 mins Shelvey looks to get ahead of Bertrand but the defender has other idea and his tackle introduces Shelvey to the ground. A free-kick it is, just inside the Southampton half. Shelvey takes and Fernandez heads it on but the header goes well wide of Forster’s post.
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54 mins “Boyhood was turgid” spits Tom Young. “My friend, a big Linklater fan, was the one to suggest we cut our losses and leave early. On the way out we asked the usher if we were going to miss anything. ‘Nah,’ he replied.”
52 mins Southampton weave their way up the field before playing the ball wide to Tadic. He looks to put one into the mixer but his effort is blocked. Southampton get the ball back and Tadic tries again, before failing again. Swansea punt the ball forward in the direction of Gomis, who is fouled by Yoshida. That foul gives Swansea the breather they need.
50 mins Southampton have picked up exactly where they left off, attacking the Swansea goal, dominating possession, switching the ball from side to side and stretching their opponent down the wings. Swansea have been resolute so far.
48 mins Swansea attack but Southampton stop them and counter with speed. The ball is played to Davis. He tries to wrong-foot his marker before putting a cross into the box. Said cross is too close to the keeper and Fabianski collects it with ease.
46 mins No changes to tell you about just yet. Swansea play left to right in this half.
45 mins We are back and we are back with an email from Jeff Goines. “Thought Boyhood was terrific, although the older the kid got the more smug the actor playing him became, and all the stuff with his girlfriend was difficult to behold sober. Foxcatcher is this year’s most overrated flick for me.” The girlfriend stuff was turgid and the ending? Yuk!
Half-time: Southampton 0-0 Swansea
That’s your lot for now. Back in a few minutes folks.
45 mins Just one minute to be added on.
44 mins A neat trick and flick from Elia draws a foul from Taylor. He gets a yellow card and Southampton get a free-kick wide on the right. Ward-Prowse aims for Pellè but he barely gets his feet off the ground and so Swansea breath again.
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42 mins Southampton get their 83rd corner. It gets delayed after Yoshida gets pushed to the ground. Once it is taken, it reaches the head of Fonte but can do nothing with it that troubles the massed ranks of the Swansea players.
40 mins “I think the hype with Boyhood is the fact that is was made over a 12 year period with the same actors,” reckons Nico Dowling. “The same film with different actors playing the parts would be average at best.” Another corner to Saints after Reed picked up a Fabianski and ran 30 yards without being tackled until he met Williams. (Something which the Swansea captain is not happy about and tells his midfielders in no uncertain terms). Lucky for them, it comes to nothing.
38 mins Re the Saints being overrated. Not so sure. They have, at times, being wonderful to watch this season but it feels like a real judgement on them can only be made come next season, when we see how they cope then.
36 mins “Afternoon Ian,” cheers Simon McMahon. “Not seen Boyhood. Overrated, you say? The Southampton of the film world, then.” Said Southampton have a corner. Ward-Prowse plays it in and Davis fails to get a decent head on it, meaning the ball goes out for a goalkick.
34 mins Southampton continue to keep ball and set up good chances and Swansea continue to defend doggedly. (Just now Bertrand put a great ball across the box but no one was there to apply the final touch.) You sense it is just a matter of time before Southampton take the lead.
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32 mins Over the last 10 minutes, Southampton have had 86% possession.
30 mins While we are talking about overrated movies, you can throw Her into the mix. I will never forgive the friend who recommended that. Meanwhile, a great cross from the left and from Elia finds the Swansea defence out of place and the boot of Tadic. He can only knock it over the bar from close range though.
28 mins “Was that Boyhood comment supposed to elicit an angry response from the many Linklater aficionados who read the Guardian?” wonders Daniel Schulwolf. “I personally haven’t seen Boyhood so I don’t know whether it is overrated, underrated, or properly rated. Dazed and Confused is a classic though, and Swansea look wretched. Alright, alright, alright.” Not at all. Just didn’t care about your man by the end (though Ethan Hawke is very good as the dad). Dazed and Confused is much, much better.
26 mins Naughton concedes a corner on the left. Tadić takes and Gomis clears. Southampton try again before a misunderstanding between Tadić and Elia sees the ball roll out for a goalkick.
24 mins Southampton have a bit of luck working their way down the right before Swansea force them back. From there, they abandon their usual sweet-passing tactics and launch it long to Pellè. A wonderful chest trap sets up Tadic but he is forced wide and when he puts it across the box Swansea can deal with the danger.
22 mins Anyone out there? Anyone else think Boyhood was overrated?
20 mins Swansea have settled somewhat over the last few minutes and have started to pass their way around the pitch towards the Saints’ goal. In thew midst of that, Yoshida gets too tough on Gomis and is a free to Swansea about 40 yards from goal. Shelvey spots the early run of Gomis and looks to play him in but the striker’s run was too early and up goes the offside flag.
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18 mins Southampton win a throw wide on the right just beside the corner flag. It lands at the feet of Tadic and he spins before clipping it into the box. It looks like Taylor who clears it and his effort lands at the feet of Reed. He shoots well, well wide.
16 mins Emnes is indeed unable to continue. He buries his head in his jersey and looks to be crying as he leaves the pitch. Poor chap. Barrow comes on in his place.
14 mins Well they’ve hardly had a kick but Swansea almost had the first goal of the game. Shelvey strode forward and fed Gomis on the edge of the box. He took one touch and then powered an effort towards goal. It hit the skinny pole behind the net.
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12 mins This is all Southampton now, who are first-time passing their way around the pitch with ease. Swansea can’t even get out of their own half. Meanwhile, the away bench is worried about Emnes who looks to have to picked up an early injury.
10 mins Fulton gives away a free-kick near the corner of the Swansea box on the left. This could be dangerous. Tadić curls it towards the back post but there is nothing a red-and-white clad player can do with it.
9 mins Southampton get the first corner of the game. Southampton do nothing with the first corner of the game.
8 mins This is better from Southampton and this should have been a goal. The Saints attack down the right and Clyne, on the overlap, squares the ball across the box for Ward-Prowse. He has time and space in the centre of the box but his first-time effort is fired right at Fabianski, who saves wonderfully with his feet.
6 mins Something happens! Bertrand is sent scurrying into the box and sent scurrying to the ground. He and the fans want a penalty. They all shout loudly but none of them get what they want.
4 mins Charles Antaki reckons the Koeman/Monk pic is “Perfect, except that diet-biz companies usually make sure that the slimmer one is the happier one; of these two, poor old Garry Monk seems to be ruminating on life’s endless series of disappointments.” He has a lot to ruminate on these days. As for the game, still nothing of note to report about. What if nothing happens for the entire game?
2 mins Nothing has happened. Well not nothing, obviously. There have been a few passes, a few throws, even a free-kick, but nothing worth breaking out the old pen and paper for.
1 mins And it is off that we go. Southampton it is who do the first centre of the match. They start off playing right to left. The Saints fans are in fine voice.
Right, let’s get this show on the road. The two teams are out of their dressing-rooms and onto the pitch. They go through the usual rigmarole and pretend like they are interested in each other. Then they scuttle off and get in position. Won’t be long now folks. Just need to get this ad break out of the way. Swansea, by the way, are in their usual all-white number while Southampton are in their Derry-City inspired red and white stripes.
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That tweet below might be the best one ever sent into an MBM of mine.
Zing!
@guardian_sport @ianmccourt like a Slimmer of the Year ad.
— Neil Fox (@FoxyN77) February 1, 2015
(He’s referring to the pic at the top of this MBM, in case you are wondering.)
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Team news
Southampton: Forster, Clyne, Fonte, Yoshida, Bertrand, Reed, S. Davis, Ward-Prowse, Tadić, Elia, Pellè. Subs: K. Davis, Gardos, Mané, Targett, Seager, Gape.
Swansea: Fabianski, Naughton, Fernandez, Williams, Taylor, Fulton, Carroll, Shelvey, Dyer, Emnes, Gomis. Subs: Tremmel, Rangel, Amat, Barrow, Tiendalli, Oliveira, Grimes.
Referee: Michael Oliver
TEAM NEWS @SouthamptonFC make one change from their last #BPL outing as Maya Yoshida replaces Floris Gardos #SOUSWA
— Premier League (@premierleague) February 1, 2015
TEAM NEWS @SwansOfficial hand a debut to Naughton and Fulton makes a first #BPL start of the season. Shelvey and Emnes also come in #SOUSWA
— Premier League (@premierleague) February 1, 2015
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There are plenty of movies you can compare Southampton and Swansea to if you have the time to write a long preamble packed with plenty of jokes and wise, well-thought out analogies. If being the operative word. However, if you are in more of a rush than a Dublin suburb once viewed as the heart of market gardening in Leinster and you spent your Saturday night crying all the way though watching Slumdog Millionaire, then that is just going to have to do. In fact, it will do just nicely. Here we have a couple of small(er) sides, once pushed to the nether regions (the slums if you will) of the Football League, forgotten about by most but who have subsequently fought their way back into the big time, back to where the riches are back where we can bask in their glory. OK, so it’s hard to crowbar Salim and Latika into the analogy – or is it? if you can, send your thoughts to the usual address – but you get the point. There wasn’t much time and this was the first thing to come to head.
Some other things that might come into your head when you think of this game and you think about who might come out on top. Swansea City seem to break out into a cold sweat and go looking for the comfort of the crawl spot at the very thought of playing away from home these days. Hips and stats don’t lie. They have won just one of their last nine league matches and, in a nice symmetrical touch, have picked up just 9 points all season. Only Burnley, Leicester and QPR have done worse than that. Poor show. As you might expect of a team enjoying a record breaking season, Southampton’s home record is decent, very decent. They have lost just twice all season. They also have a decent record against Swansea, unbeaten as they are in six league meetings against them, winning three and drawing three. Fate and form would seem to be Garry Monk’ side but as Jamal and these clubs have showed us, anything is possible. (Unless you want to grow up to be a unicorn for that is impossible. A friend tried. Yes, that friend was me.)
Team news and all that funky jazz is on its way so stayed tuned for that. And if you are bored while you are waiting, then sneak a peek at this here video of the time Barry Glendenning hung out with Matt Le Tissier.
