And here’s Dominic Fifield’s match report. That’s all from me. Thanks, and bye!
“We’re on the way up now, we have to keep the momentum going,” says Van Persie. Here’s the Premier League table, and they’re third! “They got away with murder here,” says Gary Neville.
Here’s a screengrab of the key match statistics, courtesy of Sky:
The lowest #MUFC attempts in a Premier League match since Opta started compiling stats: http://t.co/nxJYkeMK4z #MNF pic.twitter.com/tq6yRVhMKn
— Sky Sports MNF (@SkySportsMNF) December 8, 2014
Stating the obvious dept, starring Robin van Persie: “I don’t think we played our best football today. At times a bit sloppy here and there.”
Manchester United had three shots, the lowest by a Premier League side this season, and fewer than any Manchester United side in the entire 11-year history of Opta statistics.
Incidentally, either Sky only have one microphone and it’s down their end or United’s fans have made a tremendous amount of noise in this second half.
Final score: Southampton 1-2 Manchester United
Manchester United – dreadful, hopeless, miserable Manchester United – have won!
Updated
90+4 mins: Ander Herrera wins a free-kick for falling down and holding his face when nothing happened to him, and that’s the game all but over.
90+3 mins: I’m not sure if Van Persie just cleared the ball, or if he tried a 70-yard shot. I’m absolutely certain, though, that he didn’t score.
90+2 mins: Wayne Rooney gets a booking too, for dissent.
90+1 mins: The fourth official’s board shows a big yellow four.
90 mins: United take as long as possible over the free-kick, take it short and then win a throw-in.
89 mins: Ooooof! Van Persie dances with the ball on the right wing, at least until Mané scythes him down. He gets booked. The Southampton wide man’s not (had a) very good (game), it’s got to be said.
Updated
88 mins: Manchester United’s final substitution sees Darren Fletcher replace the horribly disappointing Mata.
87 mins: The corner is pretty useless. Not the worst of the day, but certainly not good.
86 mins: Now it’s the other full-back, Bertrand, whose own 20-yarder deflects wide for a corner.
85 mins: Oooooh! Clyne shoots low, hard and only just wide from 20 yards.
85 mins: Pelle finds Mayuka on the left, who sees Evans take the ball from him, gives him a bit of a push and ends up with a corner. Bonus!
Updated
82 mins: United are defending in numbers now, and Southampton are struggling to get within 20 yards of goal. It’s astonishing that the visitors are suddenly in control of this game. Ludicrous.
79 mins: Another substitution for Southampton, this time Emmanuel Mayuka coming on for Long.
77 mins: Excellent save from De Gea, who pushes Pelle’s low, firm cross-shot to safety.
76 mins: Here’s today’s Rooney corner (with some random commentary from another part of the game entirely).
74 mins: This isn’t actually a video of Rooney’s abysmal corner in this game, but it’s uncannily similar to it. Christian Knights gets credit for the link.
72 mins: Surely Forster should have claimed that ball without Van Persie getting anywhere near it? Or at least been closer to the striker when he hit it, blocking his target?
GOAL! Southampton 1-2 Manchester United (Van Persie, 71 mins)
United have a free-kick on the left, which Rooney sends curling and looping towards the far post, where Van Persie volleys it through Forster’s legs and into the net!
Updated
70 mins: Southampton make their first substitution, bringing Tadic off and bringing Jake Hesketh on to make his debut.
69 mins: “re: 65 mins – are you suggesting Rooney has no soul?” ponders Kevin Kohan. “That’s a bit harsh.” What I really meant was “to his right”, but I’d already used the word “right” once in that sentence, and didn’t want to use it again. Still, without wanting to pick on an easy target, I’d happily use that phrase of Fellaini.
67 mins: Southampton have, truth be told, been a little sub-par here. United haven’t been within sight of par, not even in the same land mass as par, and they should by rights be four goals down by now.
65 mins: Southampton give the ball away this time, on the right flank, 10 yards into United’s half. Rooney picks it up, but there’s nothing happening inside him, and he’s got to try to run past the entire home defence on his own. He can’t.
61 mins: Wayne Rooney hits the world’s worst corner! It’s not his fault, in fact, but geology conspiring against him – he plants his left foot, which shifts some soil under the turf, which rumbles under the grass like a cartoon mole before poking up about a foot away, pushing the ball into the air, and thus Rooney mishits it. Still, it looked funny.
60 mins: United nearly do something good! But then Mata can’t keep the ball on the edge of the area, and Young’s cross is headed (just) over the bar by Fonte.
59 mins: Oooooh! This time Rojo gives the ball away, Pelle and Tadic exchange passes and in the end the former blasts a left-foot shot high from 16 yards.
58 mins: Young gives the ball away this time, on the halfway line, but Southampton take such a long time about attacking that the advantage is gone, and the ball is cleared.
Updated
56 mins: There’s a lovely, measured cross from Tadic that finds Pelle’s chest, but he has little option but to control it and attempt an audacious swivel volley-shot, which hits a defender.
54 mins: Manchester United get the ball into the Southampton penalty area, twice, in rapid succession. On the first occasion, it’s headed away by a defender, and on the second it runs out of play. Still, it’s something.
52 mins: Great chance for Southampton! It’s a cross from the left, and Long is utterly unmarked at the back post but heads straight at De Gea. Really, it is hard to overstate just how unmarked he was.
50 mins: “Obviously Manchester United have their minds on the third round of the FA Cup,” suggests Phil Withall, as Fellaini gives the ball away again. “The prospect of a local derby against Accrington Stanley (replay permitting) has caused a collective drifting of the mind.” Clearly.
47 mins: A chance for Yoshida, who decides not to shoot and is tackled. Still, Southampton should have had a corner, the ball coming off Evans before rolling out of play. But they don’t.
Peeeeeeeeeeep!
46 mins: Game on! Again!
Gary Neville is astonished that United have got away with playing so miserably for 45+2 minutes without conceding more goals than they’ve scored. Surely there is no prospect of that being true in an hour’s time, unless they shape up, big time.
Was the Manchester United defence selected by offering a few blokes in a service station car park some blue shirts? @Simon_Burnton
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) December 8, 2014
Half time: Southampton 1-1 Manchester United
45+3 mins: Peeeeeeep! We have had half of the time!
Updated
45+2 mins: United have a shot! It’s an effort on the turn from Van Persie, 20 yards out, that flies into the side netting.
45+1 mins: A lovely bit of passing and moving down the middle ends with Pelle just overhitting a pass that would have given Long an open goal (or mishitting a shot so badly he almost played Long in, depending on how charitable you’re feeling).
45+1 mins: We’re into the first of two additional minutes of fun at the end of the first half.
44 mins: A cross from the right finds Mané and Valencia competing for the ball, and between they manage to contrive an outcome where neither one it, and it just bounced off Valencia’s back.
43 mins: United have made no chances whatsoever, and basically done zero attacking of note, with the sole exception of the chance created for them by their opponents.
41 mins: It’s hard to tell if Carrick is permanently stationed in the defence – which is thus still a five – or if he only goes back there when his team have the ball, to allow him to spray passes around (and to stop anyone else from trying to).
40 mins: Some more bouncing and ricocheting in the United penalty area, though this time Long ricochets into a teammate and bounces onto the floor, bringing the attack to an end.
39 mins: United take off McNair, and will presumably go for a simple 4-4-2, with Young and Valencia playing full-back.
38 mins: United are about to use their second substitution, with Ander Herrera lurking on the touchline.
37 mins: Fellaini chests the ball down on the edge of the area, sees Valencia making a run down the right, and then thumps the ball straight out of play for no apparent reason. The man may well have the best chest control in football, but his passing is sometimes criminal.
35 mins: Ooooh! A Southampton attack that never looked particularly dangerous is transformed when McNair limply hooks the ball to Long, but his shot is off target.
Updated
34 mins: Wanyama fouls Van Persie, 35 yards out, and after everyone runs up and readies themselves for the free-kick, Mata hits it straight to the goalkeeper.
GOAL! Southampton 1-1 Manchester United (Pelle, 31 mins)
Southampton’s 10 minutes of attacking eventually ends with a goal! Fellaini gifts them the ball in midfield, Davis carries it to the edge of the area, and it then flies randomly off several shins before landing at Pelle’s feet, and he blasts it off De Gea’s leg and into the roof of the net!
Updated
30 mins: Bertrand has the ball on the left, cuts inside, and then falls over. Valencia’s about to pounce on the ball and hare into space when Bertrand rolls onto it and holds it still. It’s a free-kick, but that to me is equivalent to a shirt-pull or similar break-avoiding gamesmanship.
27 mins: And another! This time Tadic runs down the left and pulls back to Pelle, whose shot is slightly deflected and heading in at the near post, at least until De Gea caught it.
26 mins: Another Southampton attack, Pelle clipping the ball into space for Tadic, who then horribly overhits a pass to Long when all sorts of opportunities were opening up ahead of him.
25 mins: McNair gives the ball away 10 yards outside his penalty area, and Mané seizes possession, runs towards the area, jinks past one, jinks past another, then passes up a decent shooting chance in favour of attempting to jink past a few more. He doesn’t succeed.
22 mins: Tadic gets a little nudge from Carrick on the left flank, but the offside flag is fluttering, so it’s immaterial. “‘Inspectors took the chameleon to a vet in order to give it the necessary fluids and warmth to bring its temperature back up to a healthy level.’ Is this just another way of saying that Falcao is still not fit?” wonders Ian Copestake.
19 mins: The substitution has now been made. Meanwhile, Mané runs down the left and then crosses straight into touch, which he seems to do fairly regularly whenever I see him.
Updated
18 mins: United are playing with 10 men, and Carrick is filling in at centre-back. Pretty handily, as it happens.
15 mins: Smalling is on the ground. And then he’s kneeling. And then he’s on the ground again. Nobody touched him, and Jonny Evans is already getting stripped off.
Updated
15 mins: And from the corner Pelle heads the ball wide from beyond the near post.
14 mins: Southampton’s best move of the game, with Mane roaring forwards, passing to Tadic, collecting the return, roaring into the penalty area and then finding Carrick, covering, who put the ball behind.
GOAL! Southampton 0-1 Manchester United (Van Persie, 12 mins)
A goal from nothing! United didn’t even have possession, but then Fonte slipped the ball back to his goalkeeper, weakly, and Van Persie nipped in, stole it and poked it through Forster’s legs.
Updated
10 mins: Another high ball, this time from Pelle, but it’s a nuanced little chipped effort this time. Yes, nuanced. Why not? Anyway, nothing comes of it.
7 mins: It hasn’t been an enormously encouraging opening for the neutrals and purists among us. Carrick and then Valencia boot the ball miles up into the air – the Englishman’s hoof barely goes anywhere except up and down, but Valencia gets some proper distance on it.
4 mins: Another raking long ball from Southampton, this time down the left, brings a throw-in, from which Long heads Bertrand’s cross high and wide.
2 mins: Southampton briefly worry United’s defence with a hefty up-n-under, but after it’s knocked down a defender beats Tadic to the ball.
Updated
Peeeeeeeeeeep!
1 min: United, wearing blue shirts, shorts and socks, get us under way.
Updated
This is about to happen. In the mean time, today’s other major Southampton-based news of the day (from ITV.com):
A Panther chameleon native to Madagascar shocked passers-by when it fell out of a tree and landed on the pavement in suburban Southampton.
The lizard is a pet that had been missing for two months. The RSPCA says its unlikely the chameleon would have survived much longer, as the British winter is too cold for the reptile to warm up. It needs heat to function normally.
Inspectors took the chameleon to a vet in order to give it the necessary fluids and warmth to bring its temperature back up to a healthy level.
Comedy festive-themed fans of the day!
The players are in the tunnel. Oooh, now they’re walking out of it.
“I’ve just listened to (a bit of) your ‘favourite song’,” writes Tracy Caton. “REALLY? You’ve very odd taste simon, as they wound up into their ‘big chorus’ I had to switch it off - yuk!” I’m not sure which of them you don’t like, but Family Cat (if it’s them) soundtracked some happy days and will always be welcomed by these ears for sentimental reasons. If that doesn’t cut any mustard, I guess there’s always this one?
If you’re wondering who Southampton substitute Jake Hesketh is, it’s another youth team graduate who’s in the squad for the first time tonight. He was the top scorer for the Under-18s last season.
Here’s a proper team sheet, with referee and everything:
Southampton: Forster, Clyne, Fonte, Yoshida, Bertrand, Steven Davis, Wanyama, Mane, Tadic, Pelle, Long. Subs: Kelvin Davis, Gardos, Mayuka, Isgrove, Reed, Targett, Hesketh.
Man Utd: De Gea, McNair, Smalling, Rojo, Valencia, Fellaini, Carrick, Young, Mata, Rooney, van Persie. Subs: Evans, Falcao, Januzaj, Lindegaard, Ander Herrera, Fletcher, Wilson.
Referee: Kevin Friend.
Ronald Koeman has spoken:
You need all the players to have a chance against big teams. Injury is part of football, and you can’t do anything about that. We know if we have all the players available then we have a strong team, we showed that earlier in the seasons, but we are struggling with the injuries that we have.
[On undoing United] I think Arsenal showed in 30 minutes how you have to play against their system.
Manchester United’s number has finally been drawn, and they will travel to either Accrington or Yeovil.
Manchester United are still undrawn, with balls running out. Chelsea are also still in the hat …
Here’s the Press Association take on the teams:
Wayne Rooney returned to lead Manchester United’s strike force in Monday’s Premier League clash at Southampton. The United captain was given the all-clear after concerns over a knee problem, with Paddy McNair replacing Ander Herrera in defence and Jonny Evans on the bench after ankle trouble. Maya Yoshida and Sadio Mane replaced injured duo Jack Cork and Toby Alderweireld in Southampton’s line-up.
Southampton have been drawn, and they will play Ipswich at home.
In that Cup draw, United have ball No25, and Southampton are No35.
Incidentally, the FA Cup third-round draw is being covered live by us here. I’ll bring you news concerning tonight’s teams, though, as soon as their balls are plucked. So to speak.
Louis van Gaal has been a-chattin’ with Sky.
They are usually a good playing team, on ball possession, and they have the players for that. And they are not only playing long balls but also a possessional game. But when they don’t find the solution in the ball possession then they look for Pelle. They are a fantastic team. It’s not so easy to beat them here. But if we do that tonight then I think we have momentum, the media have been saying this for several weeks and OK, maybe then we can say that.
[Asked if Michael Carrick is particularly important] All the players are vital. I don’t want to say that one player is vital. Every player has his own contribution. I don’t believe in one player or two players, I believe in 11 players. [And about Wayne Rooney] Wayne is always important. He’s not only a captain, also he makes goals and because of his attitude he’s an example for the rest of his team.
The teams, according to Twitter, shall be thus:
TEAMSHEET: Here's how #SaintsFC line up for tonight's game with @ManUtd. Maya Yoshida and Sadio Mané the two changes. pic.twitter.com/4z2szUUbLf
— Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) December 8, 2014
United XI: De Gea, McNair, Smalling, Rojo, Valencia, Carrick, Fellaini, Young, Mata, Rooney, van Persie #mufclive pic.twitter.com/Eg47561mjH
— Manchester United (@ManUtd) December 8, 2014
Hello world!
For fans of a certain age, this fixture will forever call to mind an afternoon fully 18 years ago now, when Manchester United travelled to Southampton in a grey shirt and didn’t like it. They lost 3-1, but then won their last four games of the season (they’d won 15 of the 16 before it too, in all competitions) to take the title anyway and the FA Cup final to boot (when Liverpool’s kit, or at least their pre-match Armani suits, became even more infamous). A few years ago I asked Lee Sharpe, who was in the team that day, about it. And this is what he said:
It was a roasting hot day at The Dell. We didn’t have a great record there anyway, but this game went really badly - we were a goal down pretty quickly, and three behind by half-time. Obviously something had to change.
I’m not sure if any of the players mentioned the kit. Personally I felt that we were playing really poorly, and that we couldn’t really blame anything or anyone but ourselves. Having said that, it was a bit tricky to see players. It was all right if you had a bit of time to look up and see what was happening, but you didn’t see much if you only had time to glance. I think the weather had something to do with it too - the fact that it was so bright made our dull grey harder to make out.
Anyway, I don’t think anyone had time to complain. The manager just stormed in and said: “Get that kit off, you’re getting changed.” Those were the first words he said at half-time. I don’t think he liked the shirt anyway – our results had been poor whenever we wore it, and we certainly never played in it again.
It seems a bit strange that we were ready with a totally different kit to change into, but maybe it’s because someone thought that the grey kit might be confused with Southampton’s - although given that they wear red and white stripes it doesn’t seem very likely. We wore blue and white in the second half, and played a bit better. I’d probably put it down to a mixture of the new kit and the manager’s hairdryer treatment at half-time. We didn’t let any more in and Ryan Giggs scored towards the end.
The shirt is probably a collector’s item now, for all the wrong reasons. I think my dad’s got mine. He’s got all my old shirts. I feel sorry for anyone who’d bought the replica, because it was out of date pretty quickly. There was lots of hype about the kit change for a while after the game, because United were always bringing out new kits, but I think it passed us by. I know it was blamed for the defeat but I think we took responsibility for it as a team.
Given a choice, I’d say our all-black away kit was my favourite, followed by the all-white one we played in for the Cup-Winners’ Cup final in 1991. Simplicity is important for me, I suppose.
Here’s some video evidence:
And here’s (probably, off the top of my head) my favourite song with the word “grey” in the title:
And here’s (probably, off the top of my head) my favourite song performed by someone called “Grey”:
Enjoy! I’ll be back with some team news shortly.
