Thanks for your company this afternoon. If you want more, and you surely do, Barry Glendenning is on Clockwatch duty.
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Full time: Southampton 1-1 Chelsea
Peep peep! Southampton end their losing run with an admirable defensive performance, symbolised by the impressive debutant Mohammed Salisu. Chelsea dominated possession but were nowhere near the best.
Takumi Minamino gave Southampton a half-time lead with a delicious bit of deception. Mason Mount earned and then scored a penalty early in the second half, but Southampton held on to a point relatively comfortably and might have grabbed two more when Jannik Vestergaard hit the bar.
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90+3 min Ward-Prowse’s high, hanging corner just evades Vestergaard at the far post. That might be the last attack.
90+3 min After another good interception from Salisu, Southampton break and Tella wins a corner.
90+2 min McCarthy is booked for timewasting.
90+1 min Three minutes of added time, though there might be a bit more now because there’s a break in play after a clash of heads between Tella and Kante.
90 min Mount nutmegs Bednarek sweetly and hits a cross that is cleared by Vestergaard. Mount has been terrific today.
88 min The tireless Mount, who has been Chelsea’s best attacker, wins a corner on the left. Ziyech’s outswinger is headed away at the near post by Djenepo. Mount then swishes over the bar from 25 yards.
87 min Southampton are a few minutes away from ending a run of six straight league defeats.
85 min Che Adams replaces Danny Ings for Southampton.
84 min: Chance for James! Lovely play from Mount, who beats Djenepo on the left and stands up an inviting cross beyond the far post. James, leaning back, half-volleys it into orbit from eight yards. That didn’t impress Thomas Tuchel much.
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81 min Now Djenepo is flattened by Jorginho. I haven’t seen one man take this much punishment since Miller’s Crossing.
80 min Djenepo loses Alonso with a Cruyff turn and is pulled back. Alonso is booked.
78 min Mount puts in a dangerous cross from the left towards Ziyech, who is eased away from the ball by Bertrand. Good defending.
77 min Southampton bring on Nathan Tella for the goalscorer Takumi Minamino.
76 min A double change for Chelsea: Jorginho and Hakim Ziyech replace the substitute Callum Hudson-Odoi and Mateo Kovacic. I don’t think Hudson-Odoi is injured.
74 min “I think the most exciting Chelsea team of the Abramovich era was under Carlo Ancelotti,” says Václav Smerda. “Sure, the first stint of José Mourinho was exciting, but more because of José’s arrogance, media stunts and the actual results than the style of play.”
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73 min McCarthy makes an excellent diving save from Mount, though it wouldn’t have counted - the flag went up afterwards, with Hudson-Odoi offside in the build up.
71 min: Vestergaard hits the bar! Another corner from Ward-Prowse is only half cleared and comes out to Redmond on the left. He drives a flat cross that skims off the head of James at the near post and flies towards Vestergaard, who steers a looping header onto the crossbar! That was a fine effort.
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70 min Bertrand’s cross is headed behind by Zouma. This is Southampton’s first corner of the game... and the usually excellent Ward-Prowse curls straight into the arms of Mendy.
67 min “So pleased for Takumi,” weeps Ian Copestake. “In Liverpool’s belated fumblings in the market to find a centre-back he was treated like loose change found down the back of the sofa.”
There’s a player in there, I think. He has the precious ability to lower his heart rate in the opposition penalty area.
66 min Lots of Chelsea pressure at the moment, but they aren’t really getting behind the Southampton defence. This might be a job for Olivier Giroud.
64 min Apropos nothing, let’s revisit one of the finest moments in the history of Southampton FC.
62 min Chelsea’s passing has been a bit snappier since half-time, though they still aren’t creating much. Werner isn’t having a great game and Hudson-Odoi has been quiet since coming on.
60 min “As a Liverpool fan I thought the most exciting Chelsea was the last season under Mourinho,” says Niall Mullen. “Like a BBC prime time series an evil megalomaniac took on the Doctor. The Doctor eventually triumphed but the baddie resurfaced in later seasons to cause more destruction.”
Say what you like about Mourinho, but he knows how to go out in style.
59 min Alonso cracks the free-kick into the wall.
57 min Mount is fouled again, this time just outside the area by Ward-Prowse. The free-kick is in a great position: 22 yards out, slightly to the right of centre.
It was a calm penalty from Mount. He sent McCarthy the wrong way and slid the ball low to his right.
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GOAL! Southampton 1-1 Chelsea (Mount 54 pen)
Mount scores!
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PENALTY TO CHELSEA! Mount nutmegs Ings and is chopped down: a forward’s tackle and a clear penalty. It came from a short corner, which is why Ings was back in his own area.
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51 min Werner scurries past Vestergaard and hits the side netting from a very tight angle. He took the wrong option there.
51 min “Hi Rob,” says Ciaran Murphy. “As a lifelong Chelsea fan, the most exciting Chelsea football was in Carlo’s first season, the epitome of sexy football!”
Didn’t they score seven or more on four occasions? That’s absurd.
50 min Werner’s cross is calmly intercepted by Salisu, who is having an excellent full debut.
49 min “Most exciting Chelsea side probably Mourinho’s first stint,” says Ciaran Crowther. “From back to front, one of the most impressively dominant sides this league has ever seen.”
Agreed. They don’t get enough credit for how good they were going forward, especially when Duff and Robben were flying.
48 min Alonso gets behind Djenepo and drags a cross towards Werner, who is dispossessed by Bertrand. Turns out Alonso was offside anyway.
46 min Peep peep! Chelsea begin the second half. Timo Werner has moved to centre forward.
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Chelsea have made a half-time change - Callum Hudson-Odoi has replaced the injured Tammy Abraham, who has an ice pack on his ankle.
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Actually, here’s a question for Chelsea fans: what’s the most exciting football you’ve played in the Roman era? Ancelotti’s first season? Mourinho’s first 18 months? Rafa?
“This is all very reminiscent of Sarriball,” says Ian Burch, “ but without the tabs and the occasional moments of brilliance from Eddy Hazard to alleviate the boredom.”
Do I hear the first strains of Tuchel Out?
“Hi Rob,” says Niall Mullen. “The Southampton Leonard Cohen hits include: If it be your Will Smallbone, Shane Long Marianne (I know), Che that’s no way to say goodbye, Oriol Romeu want it darker. I also apologise for nothing.”
“I think the wretched 1-0 win at Fulham was an indicator to the board of just how limited Frank was,” says Sean Orlowicz. “And easy games coming up or not, he had all but proven he couldn’t beat the best managers. Why not give Tuchel a comfy run to start and get to know the whole squad before the Atleti game?”
Oh I agree, the timing was perfect. But Lampard will feel, rightly or wrongly, that things would look different had he been given another month.
Half time: Southampton 1-0 Chelsea
Peep peep! Southampton lead after a slightly odd half of football. Chelsea dominated throughout yet barely created anything, and they were punished for the sterility of their domination when Takumi Minamino scored a delicious goal in the 33rd minute. See you soon for the second half.
45+2 min Werner scurries between two players and finds Abraham in the area. He tries to cut inside Salisu and falls over; Anthony Taylor isn’t interested. I’d like to see that again, though I’m pretty sure Salisu didn’t move his leg towards Abraham at any point.
45 min Play resumes, and there will be three minutes of added time.
44 min The VAR check is over. Djenepo is still down though.
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43 min Now Kante overruns the ball and leaves his studs on Djenepo, who screams with pain. This is also being checked by VAR, though I don’t think Kante’s challenge was reckless.
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41 min “Leicester away was a disaster,” says Patrick Baker. “I am sure Marina and Roman had that fixture circled with an eye on the run up to Champions League play. How many points would Frank’s team have got from these matches? They had lost to Wolves, drew with Southampton, mixed bag with Spurs. I don’t think he gets the points and clean sheets we’ve got from Tuchel. We could just as easily be in 10th today facing Atleti with a fractured squad.”
39 min Alonso clips a free-kick to the far post, where Zouma’s header is pawed round by McCarthy. I’m not sure it was going it anyway but McCarthy took no chances.
38 min Werner overruns the ball and then leaves his studs on Djenepo. VAR have a quick look and decide it was accidental rather than reckless.
37 min “Leonard Cohen (12 mins), and his classics First We Take Mount-hattan, Tuchel-ujah, Sisters of Mendy and So Long, Abraham,” says Matt Dony. “And of course, Chelsea Hotel #2. I apologise for nothing.”
35 min The way Minamino took that chance was reminiscent of this majestic Romario goal.
What a delicious finish from Takumi Minamino. He was put through on goal by a sliderule pass from Redmond, with Azpilicueta wheezing after him. Minamino dummied to shoot twice, sitting down both Mendy and Azpilicueta in the process, and then flicked the ball into the net with the outside of his right foot. That was beautifully done.
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GOAL! Southampton 1-0 Chelsea (Minamino 33)
Southampton take the lead against the run of play with a brilliant goal!
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32 min Werner breaks into space down the left, but his cross is cleared at the near post by Vestergaard.
29 min Rudiger, presumably as bored as the rest of us, decides to have a pop from 30 yards. McCarthy crouches to make a comfortable save.
28 min Will you wake me up when something happens?
26 min For all Chelsea’s possession - and it has been painfully one-sided - Alex McCarthy hasn’t had a save to make.
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24 min In the last five minutes, Chelsea have had 86 per cent of the possession.
22 min Southampton haven’t laid a glove on Chelsea.
21 min Alonso’s low cross is miscontrolled by Werner, who would have had a decent chance had he taken it cleanly.
17 min Werner, on the edge of the D, overhits a through pass to Alonso on the left of the area. That was a decent opportunity, and Thomas Tuchel is fuming at the poor quality of Werner’s pass.
14 min Chelsea are well on top, although they’ve only created that one chance for Alonso. By their standards, Southampton look really flat.
12 min “Afternoon Rob,” says Dennis Johns. “Is Bloody Average Positions a mediocre Leonard Cohen album?”
It is now!
10 min Chelsea have made a smooth, confident start to the game. In fact, they’ve had 73 per cent of the possession.
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8 min Southampton look a little tentative, as you’d expect given their recent form. If they concede the first goal it could be a long afternoon.
6 min: Chance for Alonso! Chelsea break through Mount, who finds James on the right. He has time to look up and flight a lovely ball to the far post, where the unmarked Alonso shins a volley just wide of the far post. He’s usually such a clean striker of the ball but he made a mess of that.
5 min Nothing is happening on the field, hence the coruscating tactics chat. I’ve decided Southampton are playing 4-4-2-1: a back four without the ball and a back three when they’re in possession.
4 min Actually, now it looks like a back three with Djenepo as a right wing-back. GET ME A BLOODY AVERAGE POSITIONS MAP PRONTO.
2 min It looks like Southampton have started with a back four, with Bednarek at right-back. Their Twitter feed, which suggested wing-backs, told a big fat lie.
1 min Peep peep! Southampton kick off from right to left.
The Chelsea players look very relaxed as they stroll onto the field, the Southampton players a bit more serious. It’s a chilly day in Southampton, more than a little brisk.
A win today would move Chelsea to within a point of second, albeit having played a game more. I wonder how Frank Lampard feels about Chelsea’s resurgence; if I was him I’d be hacked off at being sacked just before such a relatively easy run of fixtures.
Pre-match reading
Team news
Southampton make two changes from the team that lost to Wolves last weekend: Mohammed Salisu and Moussa Djenepo replace the injured pair of Kyle Walker-Peters and Stuart Armstrong. Salisu is starting a Premier League game for the first time, and it looks like Ralph Hasenhuttl has switched to a back three.
There are four changes for Chelsea. Edouard Mendy, Kurt Zouma, Reece James and N’Golo Kante return to the side, with Kepa Arrizabalaga, Andreas Christensen, Callum Hudson-Odoi and Jorginho dropping to the bench.
Southampton (possible 3-4-2-1) McCarthy; Bednarek, Salisu, Vestergaard; Djenepo, Ward-Prowse, Romeu, Bertrand; Redmond, Minamino; Ings.
Substitutes: Forster, Stephens, Ramsay, Ferry, Tella, Jankewitz, Chauke, Adams, N’Lundulu.
Chelsea (3-4-2-1) Mendy; Azpilicueta, Zouma, Rudiger; James, Kante, Kovacic, Alonso; Mount, Werner; Abraham.
Substitutes: Arrizabalaga, Christensen, Chilwell, Emerson, Jorginho, Ziyech, Gilmour, Giroud, Hudson-Odoi.
Referee Anthony Taylor.
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Preamble
The paradox of the new manager bounce is that it helps to have a soft landing. Thomas Tuchel could barely have wished for a better set of fixtures in his first month at Chelsea, a run that continues with today’s trip to out-of-form Southampton.
Chelsea have jumped five places in five games under Tuchel, from ninth to fourth, and again look credible contenders for a Champions League place. Things will get very real after today – their next three games are against Atletico Madrid, Manchester United and Liverpool – but Tuchelsea have built up plenty of confidence in the last few weeks.
The opposite is true of Southampton. They have lost their last six league games, dropping to 13th as a result, though they have been desperately unfortunate with injuries and VAR. Most of their players are back now, so it shouldn’t be long before they return to their overachieving best. Maybe today’s the day.
Kick off 12.30pm.
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