Name: South Ribble.
Age: 43.
Population: 109,000.
Appearance: Non-metropolitan district in Lancashire.
Never been. What’s it like? It’s the best place to live in Britain.
Is it really? No, sorry – I meant, it’s the best place to live in Britain for people in their 20s.
Is it good for clubbing? It has an active Rotary Club branch, yes.
Are there lots of those coffee shops selling exotic lattes with no actual coffee in them? Not sure what you mean. But there’s a Starbucks in Walton-le-Dale.
Well, then, is it full of derelict buildings housing illegal pill factories? It doesn’t say anything about that on the council website. There are plans for an Ikea, though.
Why on earth would the young people of today be attracted to such a place? It’s cheap.
That’s it? That’s the main reason. The average house price in South Ribble is £157,000 – that’s £138K cheaper than the national average.
Are there any other reasons? According to Channel 4’s The UK’s Best Place to Live, South Ribble is bursting with employment and green spaces. And the area has a surprising number of residents in the 20-30 age bracket.
Lovely. Please tell me where came second. Warrington.
Are you being funny? Not at all. Eight of the top 20 places to live were in the north-west – it’s convenient for both Manchester and Liverpool, and it’s affordable.
What came third? Blaby.
Stop it. The results were derived from ONS statistics by researchers at the University of Sheffield. It’s science.
What about somewhere a bit closer to London? Dream on, young person. Nowhere in the south-east even cracked the top 50. On average, property in the capital costs four times what it does in South Ribble.
In that case, South Ribble it is. What day do I put my bins out? That depends. The blue bin is for glass, cans and plastic bottles only; green for paper and card, brown for garden and food waste, and grey for non-recyclables.
What? But down south we just throw everything over the park railings at night! I’m sure you do.
Do say: “I’m young, ambitious and creative – wherever I live is cool by default.”
Don’t say: “Fancy going Rotary clubbing tonight?”
