- South Park season 28 episode 5, titled 'The Crap Out', now available on Paramount+
- Confirms Trump and Satan's Antichrist baby dies in the womb
- Creators want us to have a Christmas miracle... or do they?
Deck the halls with boughs of... Trump? The South Park season 28 finale gives us the US President himself decked out as Father Christmas, complete with a bell to heckle passers-by on the street.
In a nutshell, season 28 episode 5 delivers (pun intended) the overarching storyline of Satan and Trump's Antichrist baby. Since season 27 started in July, Trump and Satan began a romantic relationship, only for it to be revealed that Satan was kept in Trump's bedroom against his will.
In the last few episodes, Vice President JD Vance and American venture capitalist Peter Thiel have been working together to try and kill it. Vance has been trying his utmost to get under Trump's skin, which included a scene you'll never want to see again in episode 3.
However, Vance and Thiel get their wish two episodes later, and the ending of South Park season 28 episode 5 is gifted to us with caution. It's a Christmas miracle, but are we really safe?
Opinion: I'm choosing to see the good in South Park season 28 episode 5's ending
Clearly, Vance's techniques of persuasion have worked, as Trump joins Vance in trying to stop the Antichrist prophecy while Satan goes into labor. Once we get to the hospital, doctors tell us the baby has taken its own life in the womb, starting a downward media spiral that is fully convinced the impossible can become possible.
Trump sees this all as a personal victory, but there's more. We later find out that Trump and Vance really have been an item the entire time behind Satan's back, even though it initially seemed as though their moment of intimacy was nothing more than a plot. Well, most things are in politics, but you know what I mean.
None of those sentences are things I ever thought I'd be writing in my lifetime, but it's South Park's implied moral conclusion here that's most important. The creators are daring us to take the death of an Antichrist as a Christmas win, but it's equally naïve to think that anyone is truly out of the woods.
In spite of that, I'm going to take a win as a win. South Park's ongoing parody of Trump this year has been as scathing as it has scarily accurate, and there's only so much of it that one person can take.
Frankly, I'm hanging onto the small window of hope that things can calm down until we see South Park season 29 (whenever that is). Or, failing that, at least until we see the New Year in.
While season 29 is currently unconfirmed, it will now need a new Trump story to run with if it returns. Can it really get any worse than Trump having a baby with Satan? I almost hope that we don't find out for a long while to come.
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