Match report
And that’s all from me. A great day for England which puts them in the driving seat for a 2-1 lead going into the final Test. Fabulous to see Mark Wood back in the wickets, let’s hope those six overs on the trot at the end don’t give him too much gip overnight. Spinmeister Joe Root still in the market for his first five-fer. South Africa can’t have a prayer, unless the weather switches again. Thanks for all the emails and tweets - remember play starts at tomorrow at 8am GMT. Good evening!
Mark Wood is on the mic, and as excellent as always: “A good day, it certainly started different to how I expected it. The pitch isn’t doing much for the seamers but Broady and Sam have done brilliantly.It’s not been a pitch where you blast people out so plenty of hard work ahead.
“Obviously the pitch wasn’t that responsive the first time around, so it was a case of getting the stumps into play and seeing what happens. With a new ball you have to take that risk. a crucial session for us at the start of play. If there hadn’t been the weather around we might have batted again.
“When he [Root] bowls himself he gets key wickets, he bowled really well. My rhythm is is pretty good, my first game since July and I was feeling it a bit by the end. It was good when Dean Elgar’s stump went flying back. I was deliberately a bit fuller after the rain-break.
How do you balance what you want to do and what the skipper wants to do?
“I’m happy to do what the team needs, trying to create rough for the right-hander. No reverse-swing here today, tried to look after the ball but not happened for us. It is a bit lush and with the weather around it has dampened the ball.”
The South African coach Mark Boucher is now under the pump. He’s brtutally honest “I’m disappointed. We were outskilled. I’ve got to find a way to get the players up mentally and upskill them in the shortest possible time to help them get a better performance out of them. Mentally the guys are probably switched on but it’s about understanding the situation. A new ball, you have to take care of that, things that you expect the guys to know but perhaps they don’t. Joe Root is quite difficult to play, one that slides on, one that turns, the harder you try, the quicker you sink.
“Yes, when you’re under the pump for long periods of time, every side has a breaking point, but our breaking point was early today which was disappointing. We talk about plan A and plan B but sometimes you have to change your game plan.
“There’s no place to hide in Test cricket and ultimately our nation wants results but I want to compete. The captain is disappointed, we’ve got a Test series on the line and lots of things have been said in the media but he’s trying really hard. I don’t make any excuses, the off-field pressures are no excuses.”
Updated
Stumps
62nd over: South Africa 102-6 (Philander 13, Maharaj 5) Philander eyes up a Root leg-side bouncer and, despite it being the last over of the day, flays it for four. Root approaches the umpire with his empty bowl, but is told no. No extra half hour. Still -an unbelievable day for England and one to forget for South Africa. The forecast for tomorrow, by the way, is now pretty good.
61st over: South Africa 97-6 (Philander 8, Maharaj 5) Ok, this was the penultimate over of the day as Bess rushes through and Maharaj plays him out. One more over before the clock strikes for Root to clutch his five-fer.
Bizarre how this Test has turned into a game of doubles. Yesterday, all the wickets fell to Bess and Stokes. Today, in the rest of the first innings, it was Broad and Curran; in the second, Wood and Root @tjaldred
— Tim de Lisle (@TimdeLisle) January 19, 2020
60th over: South Africa 97-6 (Philander 8, Maharaj 5) A quiet Root over, the penultimate of the day. And I’d meant to reply to Quinn’s tweet (below). Steve Waugh was a pretty handy golden arm in that Australian golden age.
59th over: South Africa 96-6 (Philander 8, Maharaj 4) Philander pulls a Wood bouncer like a wet gaberdine and it flies to backward square leg where it hits Stokes hard and sprays through his hands and hits him in the ribs as he slips backwards. I’m not sure he picked it up at all - which might focus the umpires’ minds. Incidentally, that is Stokes’s fourth drop this Test.
@tjaldred proper handy to have some extra bowling options in Root, Denners et al (actually I thinks that's all). Can any other team profess to have such quality in their third string bowling attack?
— Quinn Investigates (@kbrit23) January 19, 2020
Updated
58th over: South Africa 93-6 (Philander 8, Maharaj 1) Philander sprays a Root juicy long hop inelegantly through mid wicket for four. The umpires have a long chat and glance up at the floodlights.
57th over: South Africa 87-6 (Philander 4, Maharaj 0) A Wood maiden, as South Africa play the survival game.
56th over: South Africa 87-6 (Philander 4, Maharaj 0) Big lbw appeal against Maharaj by Root, but it doesn’t impress the umpires and England are out of reviews.
Gabriel and/or Juliet write: “If Archer comes back for Johannesburg, who makes room? Curran has done his usual solid and excellent thing, Wood has been electric, and both have added depth to the batting in this match. Who gets dropped? Stokes?” Eeek. Bess?
55th over: South Africa 87-6 (Philander 4, Maharaj 0) Wood rockets a ball just past Philander’ flying elbow, and he survives. Wood also goes sprawling in the PE dust for the first time today in his follow-through, something he takes in typical smiling stride.
A fascinating email on Wood’s action from Scott Roberts, “I disagree with Mike Selvey re Mark Wood’s back foot. I work with javelin throwers, and in my opinion his ‘front on’ back foot is exactly what you’re looking for when throwing/bowling. I come across countless throwers (including myself) who have a ‘lazy’ or ‘dragging’ back foot that lands parallel to the crease and all it does is create a lazy right hip (for the right handed bowler) which doesn’t drive at the target, meaning the left hip (again for the right handed bowler) has to work harder to rotate over the front foot, whilst also creating far more chance of injury to the left hip, right groin and lower back. Lastly, if the right hip drives more efficiently, the bowler’s weight is more evenly distributed and they can generate far more torque and consequently bowling speed.”
54th over: South Africa 87-6 (Philander 4, Maharaj 0) Just one off the captain’s over. Root’s best bowling figures are bringing much musing from OBO-ers.
John Starbuck: Perhaps Root is becoming so successful a bowler because batsmen don’t take him seriously (a captain bowling just because he can), rather like Atherton was. The problem with this is that it’s a law of diminishing returns; the more he takes wickets, the less goofy he can appear and he loses the surprise element.
53rd over: South Africa 86-6 (Philander 3, Maharaj 0) An eventful over from Wood, who steams in as the conditions darken around him. Eight overs left today, with the option, if the umpires agree, for the extra half hour. Philander slams a pull square which Sibley leaps, grabs, and then drops, before Philander and Maharaj nearly run each out, just beating a diving stump-crash by Wood. And the band play on.
52nd over: South Africa 83-6 (Philander 0, Maharaj 0) Just seen that catch again, a simple-ish two-handed plop high into Pope’s hands. Sensational bowling by Root today! His batting average is now higher than his bowling average so can he pin the badge of all rounder?
WICKET! du Plessis c Pope b Root 36
du Plessis reviews after chewing the fat for four or five seconds, but no matter. He is out, a huge inside edge onto his pad which billows out to Pope at short leg. South Africa who have lost 10 for 83 today.
51st over: South Africa 83-5 (Philander 0, du Plessis 36) Wood not as incisive as Root. Which is not a sentence I ever expected to write.
“Root should do the decent thing here and take himself out of the attack in order to avoid getting a five-for, or he might undermine Bess’s confidence having done the same by devaluing the achievement,” muses Tom vd Gucht, somewhat harshly. “As the captain, he needs to be pumping up his team’s tyres, not saying, “Anything you can do, I can do better!”
50th over: South Africa 83-5 (Philander 0, du Plessis 36) Root delves into his box of tricks and flicks out a leg-break that turns into a bouncer that digs in a quarter of the way down the pitch and du Plessis swivel-thuds through mid-wicket for four.
Graham Thorn has been watching the swaying, bending, palm trees: It’s no wonder England are bowling well in these conditions - they
appear to have brought some of Manchester’s finest summer weather with them to Port Elizabeth.
49th over: South Africa 79-5 (Philander 0, du Plessis 32) Wood replaces Bess and hares in. Du Plessis edges him through second slip, or rather where second slip would be, if England had one.
48th over: South Africa 74-5 (Philander 0, du Plessis 27) Philander survives the Daemon Root.
47th over: South Africa 74-5 (Philander 0, du Plessis 27) Second-fiddle Bess rattles through another.
Michael Robinson writes: “All the talk of who has been England’s best all rounder during the last but I don’t remember anyone mentioning Root. Incredible stuff from him today, amy idea what his bowling average is?”
It was 24 at 52 before this match, I think.
Updated
46th over: South Africa 74-5 (Philander 03, du Plessis 27) de Kock out for the second time today, a shot he’ll want to wipe from all memory banks. A shot you might play after discovering you’ve dropped a purse bulging with fifty pound notes down the drain. Root now has bowled eight overs, 3-11.
WICKET! de Kock c Wood b Root 3
de Kock has a moment of madness, playing a free-wheeling golf shot against Root which flies off the back of the bat to Wood at backward point, who times his leap to perfection and grabs it high with both hands.
Updated
45th over: South Africa 74-4 (de Kock 3, du Plessis 27) de Kock’s shots have a lovely flow to them as he defends and drives Bess away. Tis windy out there - the flags jigging a merry dance. On the radio they think it is gusting wildly, yet to decide on direction.
Some thoughts from Selv on Mark Wood:
Terrific to see Mark Wood bowling with proper pace again. Does put his ankles through it though. I think he could take some of that away if he could land with his back foot parallel to the crease rather than front on. He's not an open chested bowler.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) January 19, 2020
44th over: South Africa 72-4 (de Kock 2, du Plessis 26) Root bowling wide of the crease and has a huge appeal against de Kock. The ump isn’t interested and replays show the ball probably pitching outside the line, and an inside edge too for good measure. That’s drinks, as Derek Stocker dreams of the Peak District.
@tjaldred youat Mam Tor/Shivering Mountain (slate hilltop). Pretty flat on top I wonder ifwarriors from hill fort played cricket -shield for stumps pebbles in slings asballs, bats? Enemies choppedarm
— Derek Stocker (@britainiskaput) January 19, 2020
I am Zim yet Buxton kno MamT well and TableMtn. Ridge@Charlesworth CC like TM
43rd over: South Africa 71-4 (de Kock 1, du Plessis 26) Bess round the wicket to de Kock who prods and pokes him away.
42nd over: South Africa 71-4 (de Kock 1, du Plessis 26) du Plessis breaks the spell by sweeping Root hard, for four.
Updated
41st over: South Africa 66-4 (de Kock 0, du Plessis 16) Nowt much happened. Just waiting for the unplayable Root. For those still looking for commentary:
@tjaldred Hiya again, Tanya. Just in case your correspondents can't get SA radio and want online ways to listen live without subscribing, it's worth remembering that both @guerillacricket and @GuerillaSA are doing this live on TuneIn radio. Two sets of commentary!
— 🌈Ravi Nair #FBPE #PerfectPorkPie (@palfreyman1414) January 19, 2020
40th over: South Africa 66-4 (de Kock 0, du Plessis 16) Such a sensational catch by Pope, who was not only wearing a helmet but also chewing gum. England bounce about in delight. Van der Dussen had been dropped at leg slip by Dom Sibley (a sharp chance) two balls earlier.
WICKET! Van der Dussen c Pope by Root 10
An acrobatic flying leap by Ollie Pope at short leg, diving to his left, and with his left hand plucking the ball high from behind him and clutching it in as he falls. Eye Popping! Van der Dussen had prodded forward one time too many, and got an inside edge onto his pads which plopped up tastily.
39th over: South Africa 66-3 (van der Dussen 10, du Plessis 16) Bess bowls full, but du Plessis plays him away without too many problems.
38th over: South Africa 66-3 (van der Dussen 10, du Plessis 16) Root around the wicket, van der Dussen digs him out, squiffs him out, and angles the ball away. Root’s got the bit between his fingers this afternoon. But no joy for the spin twins yet in the half hour since tea.
An ode to Faf arrives, from Abhijato Sensarma. “Faf du Plessis is an exemplary leader. He may not be the most talented batsman in any international line-up, but he is akin to Eoin Morgan in the way he commands respect from both his teammates as well as opponents. That reputation has taken a hit in recent times owing to off-field controversies coinciding with a dip in personal form. The team’s returns are being questioned, so is his age. I hope he is not made a scapegoat if they lose this series. It would help a lot if he gets a big score in this innings.”
37th over: South Africa 66-3 (van der Dussen 10, du Plessis 16) Anything you can do Rassie... du Plessis shuffle-dances and bangs Bess over long off for six tasty ones.
36th over: South Africa 60-3 (van der Dussen 10, du Plessis 16) It’s silly season out there: Van der Dussen is given out to one that seems to be sliding past the stumps - and, on review, is . Van der Dussen then spots a short one and rocks back and pulls Root for six.
Updated
35th over: South Africa 54-3 (van der Dussen 4, du Plessis 16) Bess. Maiden. Derek in Zimbabwe again.
Derek in BG🇧🇬 again. Tanya @tjaldred James @jamestaylor20 whisper it quietly folks, the Chevrons are doing OK. I do not wish to put the kibosh on us but...wow!
— Derek Stocker (@britainiskaput) January 19, 2020
Zimbabwe my Zimbabwe!🏏🇿🇼🇿🇼
34th over: South Africa 54-3 (van der Dussen 4, du Plessis 16) Root has now bowled 5-4-4-1. Here’s another maiden. Ian Forth asks, “Can anyone remember a worse review than that?”
And one over later, that's the second review wasted! That from Dom Bess started on off-stump, turned to hit Faf in front of middle, and it was evident to everyone apart from Joe Root that it was missing leg. ENGLAND HAVE NO REVIEWS LEFT.#SAvENG🏏🇿🇦🏴 https://t.co/Ey82ZMYOu0 pic.twitter.com/4V1Q7lz2nu
— Guerilla Cricket (@guerillacricket) January 19, 2020
33rd over: South Africa 54-3 (van der Dussen 4, du Plessis 16) du Plessis decides he can’t stand any more of this tiki taka batting and hoops into Bess and launches him, not entirely convincingly, over mid-off for four . The run- rates today for the first two sessions: 1.39 and 1.40.
32nd over: South Africa 50-3 (van der Dussen 4, du Plessis 12) Joe Root feels the magic juice flowing through his veins. Van der Dussen off the mark with a hoick through mid-wicket for four. He plays out the rest of the over.
31st over: South Africa 46-3 (van der Dussen 2, du Plessis 12) A most peculiar review from England as Bess hits the lunging du Plessis’s leading leg. Replays show the ball missing not only the stumps but also the corner flag. Another maiden.
30th over: South Africa 46-3 (van der Dussen 2, du Plessis 12) Phoof! Joe Root rips it off the pitch last ball as van der Dussen prods forward and it passes the edge of his bat and whispers past off stump. A maiden.
29th over: South Africa 46-3 (van der Dussen 2, du Plessis 12) Bess continues this longish spell, the only runs a couple of byes down to fine leg.
28th over: South Africa 44-3 (van der Dussen 0, du Plessis 12) Joe Root resumes his broken-time over after the break and appeals hugely for an lbw against van der Dussen first ball. The umpire shakes his head but England review, unsuccessfully. The ball pitches outside off and zips over the top of the stumps.
Jofra Archer having a bowl at tea. Optimism that he will be ready for Joburg on Friday pic.twitter.com/hCS1udFhoj
— Will Macpherson (@willis_macp) January 19, 2020
and we resume after tea...
Nasser is praising the length that England have bowled today, saying it gives them options on all modes of dismissal. Jackets are on, it looks a bit nippy out there, though not as nippy as it is in Bulgaria.
Greetings from Derek in Bulgaria. @tjaldred
— Derek Stocker (@britainiskaput) January 19, 2020
The sky here looks similar to the pix I can see of the P.E. sky yet our temp a tad lower hovering around zero.
I thought Meener Elgar was to conduct the fightback when he was serenading Sam over the ropes, however he dropped the baton
Talking of chilly, I had a lovely slow walk around Mam Tor yesterday with some friends. Not quite Table Mountain but such a treat to see some blue sky and sun after such an unrelenting succession of grey days.
TEA. South Africa 44-3 (du Plessis 12) trail England by 246
England sup happy, the crabbed Malan gone. I’m off for a quick plate of sustaining beans on toast - back in ten!
WICKET! Malan lbw Root 12
Root around the wicket, the ball pitches middle and off and spins back to skid into Malan’s stretched front pad . Malan reviews, presumably feeling the ball has skimmed his bat before hitting pad, but the third umpire disagrees, and England are well on their way. And that’s TEA.
Updated
27th over: South Africa 44-2 (Malan 12, du Plessis 12) Ok, so Bess switches ends, toiling up the hill now with the breeze behind him.
Time for a couple more overs before tea.
26th over: South Africa 43-2 (Malan 11, du Plessis 12) Hmmm, Root replaces Bess and zips through, finding some bounce and zip against du Plessis. A maiden. The flags and palm trees surrounding the ground ripple with vigour.
25th over: South Africa 43-2 (Malan 11, du Plessis 12) A hit, a hit, a palpable hit! Malan hits the first boundary of his 102 minute vigil, sending an over-pitched Stokes through long off.
24th over: South Africa 39-2 (Malan 7, du Plessis 12)They trot a single off Bess, who fires a full toss in between more testing deliveries. South Africa are content to mindfully see him out. Meanwhile, Matt Emerson travels down memory lane:
“The mention of Hofmeister reminds me of the time we had George, our first son. As usual, we were asked why we’d called him that and there was no real reason except we liked the name. So we told people that it was after the bear in the Hofmeister adverts...simple pleasures...”
23rd over: South Africa 38-2 (Malan 6, du Plessis 12) And yet another maiden as Ben Stokes thuds into the PE earth and delivers wide, full, short and all the rest.
Just a reminder that you can join Adam Collins covering India v Australia in what is building up into a thriller at Bengaluru.
22nd over: South Africa 38-2 (Malan 6, du Plessis 12) A couple off the over, Bess not threatening but steady. Which probably ensures he’ll take three wickets in his next . I loved the way he was thinking about Jim Laker yesterday after he’d captured the first five. Aim high!
21st over: South Africa 36-2 (Malan 5, du Plessis 12) Stokes charging in here, as Plessis lowers his head respectfully and the ball skims over the top of his neck. There’s a muddle over how many balls have ben bowled in the over, but eventually Stokes finishes it off with another dot.
This is why I love the OBO... Ian Forth writes: “I used to work with the guy who came up with that Pepsi campaign. His name was John Webster and if it’s possible for there to be such a thing as an advertising genius, he was it. He also wrote, or oversaw at least (authorship is sometimes disputed) the Smash Martians, the Cresta Bear, the Hofmeister Bear, the Honey Monster, John Smiths’ Arkwright and Jack Dee, the Courage Best Chas’n’Dave campaign, The Guardian Skinhead ad, the Prize Guys yoghurt ads, Walkers’ Gary Lineker campaign and so on and on.”
20th over: South Africa 35-2 (Malan 4, du Plessis 12) At leg slip someone, who I haven’t yet identified, squats down on his calves, the blue soles of his feet and his spikes clearly visible. That can’t be comfortable. Anyway, another maiden. A game of patience out there.
19th over: South Africa 35-2 (Malan 4, du Plessis 12) A maiden from Ben Stokes as Malan examines his nails and bats back another six balls.
Glenn writes with radio expertise from Cape Town. Thanks Glenn!
Good to listen in to Radio2000 on SABC. It’s online and has a great,
mostly SA commentary team with the best stats person in the world.
18th over: South Africa 35-2 (Malan 4, du Plessis 12) Out of the corner of the screen, Root gestures to the fielders, a dancer beckoning the Furies . The wind buffets Best’s shirt as he wheels through another steady over.
17th over: South Africa 34-2 (Malan 3, du Plessis 12) Wood is wrapped back up in layers of tissue paper and we have Ben Stokes, who skulked in the long grass for most of the first innings. du Plessis leaves one alone that skittles in rather alarmingly. Careful Faf.
16th over: South Africa 30-2 (Malan 3, du Plessis 8) Bess rattles through another over, which Malan plays back without alarm. Another maiden.
Colum Farrelly writes: I used to want Cardinal Sicola of USA to be Pope and develop a facial tic do he could be lip-smacking Pope Sicola. I was younger, then.
15th over: South Africa 30-2 (Malan 3, du Plessis 8) Wood sprays a bit wide and wild and du Plessis leaves gratefully. Then a beautiful back-foot drive brushing through the covers for four.
Daniel kindly sends the session times for tomorrow - local time:
10:00-12:00 - session 1
12:00-12:40 - lunch
12:40-15:10 - session 2
15:10-15:30 - tea
15:30-17:30 - session 3
Extra 30min to close at 18:00 if required
While Graham Lees asks if any readers have ideas on how to watch or listen to the test match without subscribing? Asking for a friend. I found England vs. Australia on Channel 9 in Australia.
I don’t know Graham, but OBO readers have written in before with the info that you can find highlights online.
14th over: South Africa 26-2 (Malan 3, du Plessis 4) Root turns to Bess - he already seems to have more confidence in Bess than he has shown in Moeen or Leach. An appeal for a catch in short leg, but it has come off the leg.
13th over: South Africa 26-2 (Malan 3, du Plessis 4) From the sublime ... Wood generously welcomes du Plessis with a fruity full toss which du Plessis tries to drive and squeezes through gully for four.
WICKET! Hamza c Buttler b Wood 2
Two in three overs for Wood since the re-start! Hamza looks to turn Wood off his hip and manages only to dribble the ball to Buttler behind. Another miserable January innings for Hamza.
Updated
12th over: South Africa 22-1 (Malan 3, Hamza 2) Just a couple off Broad’s over as I spill the cold coffee I’m trying to feed the cactus.
11th over: South Africa 20-1 (Malan 1, Hamza 2) Wood sprints in, oozing menace? Too much. Oozing danger. He tests Hamza, bowling consistently between 88-90 mph. Hamza snaffles two off the last ball, forcing a couple off the back foot
“A free-wheeling, cart-wheeling, lipsmacking, stump-flying wicket”.... writes Phil Keegan. That actually made me look up the pepsi advert from the 1970s which began ‘lipsmacking, thirst quenching...’ and then went on for a bit. I was jealous as hell of a kid in my class who managed to memorise the whole thing.
Phil, you’ve nailed me - that was my inspiration. My mum used to have a silver belt which was emblazoned with the words from the ad, she probably sent off for it having collected the requisite number of tokens.
10th over: South Africa 18-1 (Malan 1, Hamza 0) The ball is back with Broad, who bowls a maiden, which Malan is mostly able to leave alone. After the fifth ball, Root runs down to the bowler’s end to chat to his bowler... as a result, midwicket goes to square leg - and Malan bats a ball on off stump away.
Ok, whisky! Suntory Sherry Cask whisky is greatly appreciated in this household writes Piet Morant. Now I live alone, I can sample the world’s produce morning, noon and night, and there always seems to be cricket to watch or listen to with a bottle or three of fine whisky! M&H is an incredible whistle-wetter at a conference (in between jobs again)
while Mes writes As any proper County Cricket fan knows, whisky is alright, but Mandarin Brandy* is where it really is.
*Calvados is a suitable substitute. Just don’t mix the two
9th over: South Africa 18-1 (Malan 1, Hamza 0) A cracking ball from Wood, sharp - 89mph sharp - and then Hamza endures a torrid welcome. A sharp bouncer followed by a couple more short of a length at the body.
WICKET! Elgar b Wood 15
A free-wheeling, cart-wheeling, lipsmacking, stump-flying wicket! Elgar gets a wee outside edge onto the stumps and there is drama.
Updated
8th over: South Africa 18-0 (Malan 1, Elgar 15) Broad takes the ball from the other end and immediately bowls a no ball. And the PE brass band strike up - such a beautiful noise. I covered a Test there in late 1999 and it is that sound that sticks with me over any of the cricket.
7th over: South Africa 16-0 (Malan 1, Elgar 14) And we restart: Mark Wood finishes off his five ball over before the rain delay and it goes for a quick single. South Africa - following on - trail by 274.
Do read this if you have a chance, always lovely to read Vic on spinners, and he has a soft spot for Dom Bess.
Updated
On telly they’re whizzing through South Africa’s loose batting this morning - Athers keeps glancing over his left shoulder for rain. Sky is slate grey. Crowd is sparse.
Thanks Daniel, and hello everyone! I’m welcoming play with open arms as I was wondering how I was going to continue Daniel’s expert rain-stopped-play whisky analysis. We seem to be still on for the 12.10 restart - cross everything.
We're going to start in 10 minutes!
Let’s be having you!
Right then, that’s us; Tanya Aldred is here to guide you through the rest of the day, such that it is. You can email her on tanya.aldred.freelance@theguardian.com.
“I’ll add another to the Wendell Pierce fan club,” says Toby Sims. “What a man. I’d certainly share a whisky with him. Lovely to see some suggestions for the tipple - I’ll add Rittenhouse 100 and EH Taylor Single Barrel to the list... Waiting to try some cask-strength M&H at the weekend.”
One of my favourite things about synagogue – let’s be real, it’s a short list – is that when you finish, you’re rewarded for your sacrifice and endurance by a quantities of scotch. As a kid, I used to feign interest in its provenance in order to be provided with it by adults eager to educate me, and as an adult the same trick works for me providing it to myself.
Updated
Eff eff ess. It's raining again.
Of course it is.
Play will restart at 2.10pm local time, 12.10pm GMT
We’ve got ourselves a ball-game!
It’s a bit brighter in PE and the outfield is uncovered.
“Last October I played in a mini tournament on the beautiful island of Vis,” says Ben Heywood. “I bowled ok but was in wretched form with the bat. I scored 4 in my first innings, and was caught first ball at slip the next. On my third go, I was dropped first ball, nearly dropped second ball and caught third ball. I was therefore determined not to get three ducks in a row when I arrived at the crease for my fourth and final outing. I defended my first two, connected sweetly with my third and ambled up the wicket for my run as the ball hit the deep square leg boundary fielder. Who then luzzed it in like an exocet. I realised that split-second too late that it was heading directly for the stumps at the non-striker’s end and that if I didn’t peg it I’d be run out. I got a move on, ran through, but was then triggered by the umpire despite thinking I was safely home.
‘What?’ I protested. ‘I was miles in!’
‘Didn’t ground your bat,’ replied the umpire, who just happened to be my guesting Dad. ‘Silly twat,’ he added for unnecessary emphasis. Still love cricket. And the old man.”
I hope you get all Edmond Dantès on his arse.
The covers are coming off!
Shake it all about.
“I would need proof that AB de Villiers was focused on Test cricket,” says Piet Morant, “or 70% ABV proof. Bain’s Cape Mountain whisky - one bottle for breakfast, fire on. A good un.”
Oooh, that looks extremely interesting. If we’re doing non-Scotch, I heartily recommend the Indian Amrut, and i’m also looking forward to trying the Israeli M&H.
There’s still plenty of time for England to resolve this, but lose the entirety of the afternoon and this start to become a problem.
It's raining again.
“Hello from NSW,” says Ray Hill. “ I expect AB de Villiers wishes that he was playing in PE also. He scored two runs from his first ball, before being bowled by the second ball! His Brisbane team went from 84-0 to all out for 119! They lost by 44 runs!”
I just spotted Ricky Ponting talking about a choke on Twitter. I guess that’s it.
The covers are coming off!
“Second, third and fourth you on Wendell Pierce, there,” says Guy Hornsby. “One of the best episodes of DID I’ve ever listened too. Utterly inspirational, and all delivered in that rich baritone drawl. While we’re here, I’d nod to Stephen Graham’s as well. Another brilliant actor, whose story was as fascinating as it harrowing. We’re lucky to have him around. It beats talking about the rain, certainly.”
His performance in the first episode of Shane Meadows’ the Virtues was astonishingly brilliant.
What’s the most stupid thing you’ve done on a cricket pitch? The first time I ever played, they sent me out to open because I’d batted well indoors. I didn’t know how gloves worked and I’m a lefty, so picked up any old pair, wondered why I couldn’t hold my bat, got a straight one. Golden duck.
Breaking news: it’s raining.
“Conspiracy theory,” begins John Starbuck. “You can see why the ECB wanted the Hundred: having been too dim to see how successful T20 was going to be, they are trying to re-invent the game again but monetise it better. In this instance, what about the proposals for 4-day Tests? Everyone with some authority has rejected this, but could it have been meant as a distraction from the Hundred all along?”
I think it’s slightly harsh to criticise the ECB for being dim as regards T20 when then introduced it to the professional game. I doubt there’s a connection between four-day Tests and the Hundred, save their cockeyed rationale and financial underpinnings
“Kim Thonger might also be interested in last Sunday’s Desert Island Discs as Lewis was on that too,” says David Wall. “I know it’s a cliche but given his previous interest in baseball you’d think developing an interest in cricket would be natural.”
Tangentially, everyone should listen to the Wendell Pierce episode, which is absolutely sensational. He is an absolute mensch, and one I’m absolutely certain would appreciate cricket in every single aspect.
“Since it’s still raining,” says Alistair Connor, “it’s not too late to offer you some cake. I’m breakfasting on a plateful of delicious leftovers from last night, Day Two of my first Moroccan wedding, my brother-in-law’s. They used to be as long as a Test match, but that’s rare these days. Dancing and singing in a fancy ballroom with a traditional orchestra -- ladies only, while the men take tea and cakes in the lobby. It’s much more fun than it sounds, honestly.”
I know the koo. Jewish weddings do, in some circles, entail seven days of celebration. Often, with too much parents’ friend involvement for comfort, but nonetheless they extend the simcha, which is very nice. There’s also a custom for the groom to get together with his male mates and family before the ceremony to sing and – not for the groom, who’s fasting – tip down buckets of whisky while guzzling crisps and fish balls. It is never not glorious.
Updated
“Once upon a time, players proved they had the temperament for international cricket in ODIs before getting a gig in the Test XI,” emails Gary Naylor. “But hasn’t the Trevor Bayliss era proved the opposite? The ‘no-fear’ cricket that led to the World Cup doesn’t work in Tests, whether batting with freedom (the doomed ‘natural game’) nor going through the variations with the ball. Test cricket demands almost the opposite - forbearance, strategy, marginal gains through incremental victories. Red ball success breeds red ball success (as does white ball). England, with Sibley and Pope established and Bess and Leach doing a job, have learned this at last.”
At close of play on Friday, Ollie Pope gave a (great) interview on the wireless, and when he was asked about the ramping, basically made a pitch for limited-overs recognition. Anyhow, I disagree that ‘no-fear’ cricket isn’t what you’re after, more that sensible thinking is also in order. In all formats.
“I’m reading The Fifth Risk by Michael Lewis,” emails Kim Thonger, “a thrillingly informative book about the utter wilful incompetence and complete intransigence of the Trump team during the transition from the Obama presidency. This is a plea for Michael to make his next book about the ECB’s ridiculous plan to introduce The Hundred this summer. Equally stupidly stubborn and disrespectful of the good judgement and advice of everyone whose opinion about Test cricket I value. I’m so cross my grammar went wonky there. *strikes face with rigid palm*.”
Talking Politics’ interview with Lewis – on this topic – was excellent. David Runciman is the best analyst around by an absolute aeon, and gave by far the best lectures that I didn’t go to at university.
Lunch is over, but the rain is not.
It’s not heavy but, so hopefully we’ll get some play this afternoon and make up what we’ve lost this evening. In any event, England can’t have expected to be where they are, so will still feel ahead of the game.
“‘When Wood, Archer, Broad and Anderson are fit’...” says Chris Drew. “Not a time we are ever likely to see.”
It’s coming around the time we get a Labour government. All four will be retired.
No value judgment from me – what people do with their lives is absolutely none of my business – but I wish AB de Villiers was playing in this Test, not the in the Big Bash.
Malan feels bat on ball.
Elsewhere: Australia are 174-4 off 32 overs; Mitchell Starc, batting 5, is out. Follow that here:
Bad news I’m afraid: it’s raining again and that’s lunch. I’ll be back in 30 or so.
“Re the Curran question,” begins Nico Bentley. “When Wood, Archer, Broad and Anderson are fit surely you rotate them like Australia did with their pace attack in the last Ashes? Three seamers with a spinner, plus Stokes on all but a few pitches around the world.”
But you still have a first XI. And when do you pick our quicks? On a pitch expected to something, to make them even more terrifying, or pitch expected to do nothing, to try and find something?
Bill Hargreaves has another on the war-film issue: “Saving Private Ryan Sidebottom’s bowling average”.
No way he’s getting away with that barnet in the army.
According to the indispensable Cricinfo, the covers are coming off and the players are coming on...
Yes! Robert Key has just pluralised “the Overtons”, but I think he meant “your Overtonses of this world.
“Wanted to get your thoughts on a proposal I sent in yesterday,” says Abhijato Sensarma. “A day in Test cricket should be divided into four sessions of 23 overs each instead of three sessions of 30 each. This will allow players to be more refreshed and on top of their game, especially in strenuous weather like the Australian summer. Thoughts?”
I’d worry that by extending the day you leave yourself open to rain and light at the end of it. I might think about extending the first two sessions to avoid marathon final ones, though when those are good, they’re so so good.
Update: the rain stopped, they started to take the covers off, then the rain started again. Lovely stuff.
Updated
“Your preamble and the makings of a decent England Test team,” tweets Andrew Curray. “If Bairstow and Buttler aren’t scoring runs, could we have Ben Foakes back in the team please?”
It’s a tricky one, this. I’d say that if the team is functioning, you can afford the wild-card that is Buttler; though I guess you could say the same about Foakes’ superior keeping. If England had a serious spinner, or if Buttler was missing lots of chances, I’d probably feel differently, but in the meantime, I prefer the thrill of what might happen.
“Ever since Rob Smyth (aptly) described Joe Denly as the ‘pretty boy who went to war’ on this MBM two tests back, I can’t shake the idea that this England team would make the ideal cast for a middling war movie,” says Isaac Parham. “You’ve got Dom Bess as a farm hand turned ruddy-faced private, Root as the seen-too-much-too-young Captain, and Stokes would be your maverick, devil-may-care sharp-shooter. And let’s face it, Anderson would make a rather dashing lead.”
Zak Crawley is definitely getting it at the end of Act I.
Update: it’s bucketing down. That will, I imagine, be our morning session.
“Do you know what is the win and loss percentage for international test teams who has won and lost the toss respectively?” asks Braam Visser. “Faf needs to do something to win the next toss.”
Not as high as you think it is, though this was a good one to win. For some reason, Stasguru is failing me, or, more likely, I am failing it. But Ric Finlay investigated this in Jukly 2018 and discovered that, this century, the captain who calls correctly wins 42 percent of the time and the captain who does not wins 36 percent of the time.
For what it is worth, I have a permanent fault down the nail of my middle finger on right hand from where it sometimes clipped the stumps in delivery. Never ever heard a batsman say that bowler clipping stumps distracted them. Because they would not be telling the truth.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) January 19, 2020
“Steven Finn is in the Sky studio, speaking very eloquently about his bowling issues over the years,” emails Kevin Wilson. “I’ve seen players come and go and careers briefly flicker and fade out, but none make me more sad than Finn never hitting the ceiling his ability offered. He could’ve been a very, very good quick bowler with 300 Test wickets by now.”
Yes, I agree. First of all, that he’s great on telly – and also on the radio – and also that he had it in him to be better than he turned out to be. He was never quite the same after that stump-flicking incident – Graeme Smith was a ruthless man.
“I don’t know what happened at the tail-end of our innings because I was sorting out the fire,” says Piet Morant, “which gives you some idea of how moody the weather here in PE is. I do know however that I’m now in Dante’s circle of hell since the fire has gone out again and I don’t want to move, in case Elgar and co again go down in a puff-flash of crap cover drives!”
In fairness, Maharaj aimed for midwicket. The variety of the left-armer.
In the meantime, let’s reflect on a ridiculous morning for both teams. England bowled really well first up, but South Africa’s batting was something else. I am in awe of anyone able to play elite-level sport, and have not a scooby what it takes, but I do know that when you’re fighting to stay in the game, you don’t go out and play like a blacksmith.
I guess there’s a fair chance that’s that for our morning session; if it rains for half an hour, it’ll be half an hour before we can get going again. I’d expect an early lunch, then two extended periods.
In the studio, they’re less optimistic, and think we may have a fairly long disruption.
Rain stopped play.
Hoepfully not for too long, but in the meantime, has anyone got any cake?
7th over: South Africa 15-0 (Malan 1, Elgar 13) Here comes Mark Wood; “It should say ‘right arm very fast’” says Shaun Pollock of the caption, and yerman start from around to the left-handed Elgar. Wood looks so lean and whippy; I daren’t think he’s found the balance, but of course I’m assuming he’ll bowl Australia out at the Gabba in just under two years from now.
6th over: South Africa 15-0 (Malan 1, Elgar 13) Our camerawoman tells us it’s definitely going to rain; in fact it already is raining, and the cameras have got their coats on. In the meantime, Curran scurries through another over, Elgar nudging a single in the drizzle. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to get too heavy for too long.
5th over: South Africa 14-0 (Malan 1, Elgar 12) Sake; no, not what South Africa had on their Ricicles, but an expression of dismay that there’s some rain coming in. In the meantime, Malan gets away with a shove to cover, a leg-bye follows, and the groundsman waves arms like the air traffic controller in Jimbo and the Jet Set.
4th over: South Africa 12-0 (Malan 0, Elgar 12) They’re piling them up now! Curran, who was so accurate first up, strays to leg again and gets the treatment again, Elgar easily flicking him away to fine leg for four. He’s a funny cricketer, Curran, and I wonder where he fits into England’s long-term plans. He’s not a good enough bowler or batsman to get into the team solely for one of his two disciplines, but he has the priceless gift of timing. On the other hand, including him means you need to leave out one of Broad, Anderson, Archer and Wood – let’s assume for a second all are fit at the same time – and medium pace gets whacked in Australia.
3rd over: South Africa 8-0 (Malan 0, Elgar 8) Malan sees away a maiden from Broad. I wonder if the England bowlers fancied hanging onto the ball they had first up.
“I think South Africa are playing rope-a-dope here,” says Tom van der Gucht. “They’ve come out swinging with the aim of getting out and forcing Root into asking for the follow on. They’re now going to demonstrate that, actually, there’s nothing in the pitch as they bat out the next two days with no fuss and wear down the English bowlers - leading to Wood getting injured having been overbowled in an attempt to get some life from the moribund pitch.”
England will just bring back Martin McCague for Joburg, which is where this dastardly plan will fall down.
2nd over: South Africa 8-0 (Malan 0, Elgar 8) Curran strays onto Elgar’s pads and that’s a perfect starter for him, turns away off the pads to deep backward. But Curran responds well, hitting a length, and Elgar presses forwards, missing and wearing it on the pad; that wasn’t far away, but England don’t review. Then another full one from Curran – fuller than the last – and Elgar plays, squeezing it where third slip isn’t and to the fence fo fo mo.
1st over: South Africa 0-0 (Malan 0, Elgar 0) I am pleased to report that it’s time for another rendition of Jerusalem, adult humans showing you their bows and such. *APPLAUSE*. I’m choking up here. Anyway, Malan plays out the over by virtue of not despatching an imaginary Hollywood drive back to Cape Town, though Broad beats him with the final delivery, one that nips past the forward defensive off a full length.
Right then, we’re back. Broad has the ball, and in he charges...
That injury to Rory Markham is looking a killer for South Africa. They’ve a fragile batting line-up to begin with, never mind losing the bloke at the top of it. Dean Elgar has a huge responsibility here.
So England have a day and a half to win the match, and South Africa have to bat for a decent chunk of that. It’s extremely hard to see.
England enforce the follow-on.
And rightly so. South Africa are 91 runs shy of them, there’s weather about, the bowlers are fresh and doing plenty.
WICKET! Rabada c Wood b Broad 1 (South Africa 209 all out)
Rabada taps a catch to mid off and there it is; four wickets, one run, 26 minutes. England cannot have expected this, and it’s been almost painful to watch because these are elite sportsmen who’ve worked their entire lives to play situations like this, and somehow they’ve delivered that.
87th over: South Africa 209-9 (Rabada 1, Paterson 0) Stuart Broad has picked a good meteorite here. The overcast conditions and moisture in the air are probably helping too, but just an hour ago I watched Nasser lament the lack of life in the pitch. It just goes to prove the adage that it doesn’t need to do a lot, just enough.
86th over: South Africa 209-9 (Rabada 1, Paterson 0) And there it is! South Africa score a run! Rabada turns Curran to long leg and they amble a single, when he could have got himself bowled smashing an air-drive through cover. Who does he think he is? Pathetic.
85th over: South Africa 208-9 (Rabada 0, Paterson 0) It’s Dom Bess I feel sorry for, who was targeting ninefer. I really cannot twizzle my swede around what South Africa are up to here. To lose it under pressure and after a long effort, yes; to come out first up and donate the match like that, no. This is shambolic and inexplicable; I can be sure of this because I spend a lot of time watching England.
Updated
WICKET! Maharaj b Broad 0 (South Africa 208-9)
WHAT A TEAMTALK FAF GAVE THIS MORNING! THREE WICKETS FOR 0 RUNS IN 15 BALLS, ALL OF THEM BOWLED! Maharaj has a big yahoo, looking to crack a drive to the fence, because that’s who he is and what he does; instead he yanks it onto his leg stump. This is extremely anger-inducing for South Africans and extremely hilarious for everyone else.
84th over: South Africa 208-8 (Maharaj 0, Rabada 0) I’m not sure what De Kock was thinking there; sure, his team need runs and maybe he doesn’t trust the bloke at the other end, but get yourself in first. The ball’s new, the opponent have their tails up, you don’t need to smoke a straight one to the fence.
Updated
WICKET! De Kock b Curran 63 (South Africa 208-8)
THAT’S WHY! SAM CURRAN HAS TIMING! Curran straightens one off the seam, De Kock plays for it to do nothing, another airy drive, and takes it right on the middle stump instead!
Updated
84th over: South Africa 208-7 (De Kock 63, Maharaj 0) Curran gets the ball from other end; why?Presumably because he’s not that much use once the ball is old, but also because De Kock likes the pace that Wood puts on it. Imagine wanting to face that! These lads are something else.
Updated
WICKET! Philander b Broad 27 (South Africa 208-7)
Cartwheel! Broad finds some nip off the seam, Philander opens the gate with an airy drive, and is it zips to the fence in his dreams, in our reality the ball careers into his off peg which goes for a little dance.
83rd over: South Africa 208-6 (De Kock 63, Philander 27) Yes! The performative Jerusalem is away. Can’t wait for the actions and applauding of self. AND IT’S THERE! THERE IT IS! Wood and Curran both warm up like it’s their gig from the other end; I’d go Wood, now that you ask.
SJ Broad is ready. South Africa need 92 more to avoid the follow-on, which ought to secure them a draw.
Elsewhere:
Josh Hazlewood is playing his first ODI in 14 months!
— Wisden (@WisdenCricket) January 19, 2020
And, for someone who made his debut in the format back in 2010, it's his first ODI ever in India 🤯 pic.twitter.com/HUO5l5ZJie
Interesting that Australia is batting first. Most days you chase. India wanted to. Australia is looking at this game like it is a big final where you want runs on the board.
— Harsha Bhogle (@bhogleharsha) January 19, 2020
“In case anyone cares,” says Michael McClelland in Carlsbad, California, of our feathered friend above, “it’s an osprey. I never have anything wise or funny to say about cricket, so this is my big chance.”
You have decreed. Badabing! There’s one for the history A-level lads.
Jeetan Patel is an extremely articulate and impressive individual.
England spin-coach Jeetan Patel says Bess is beginning “to understand his art”. He says he focuses on details – the ball does whatever you do to it – and Bess is prepared to do whatever it takes. He says it doesn’t really matter what happens to the ball until just before it bounces, as it bounces and just after it bounces. So Bess has to get his wrist-position right and get the ball off his last finger, hard, and past the vertical, so it comes out straight.
“You mention the unique confluence that was Peter Such,” says Ian Forth. “He once took the most Test wickets in a calendar year for England (1993). This feat is diminished somewhat once you discover the actual number - 16. That’s three less than fellow off-spinner Jim Laker once took in one match. Steve Harmison took 67 in 2004, Beefy 66 in 1978 and Graeme Swann 64 in 2010. But Such is not the post-war nadir! John Snow won with just 14 in 1970 (remarkably the year England won down under), while Neil Foster topped the list with just 12 (twelve, as the teleprinter used to clarify) in 1989.”
In fairness they do play a lot more these days, but my days that 1993 was miserable – the Oval and the Gaffer in Bridgetown apart.
Email! “Why no early start to make up time lost,” says David Griffiths.
I guess because we’re already getting underway at 10 because we don’t get late doors light in Africa, and we can’t start any earlier than that.
“He can only play one way,” he says of De Kock, and that he tried to play a different way in Cape Town and it didn’t work.
He goes on to say that De Kock is a “special, special cricketer” and that Philander “isn’t doing a lot with the ball at the moment, it’s his last series and he needs to do something”. Arf.
Kevin Pietersen wonders if the bowlers are “willing to do the hard yards”. I think we know the answer to that.
Day 4️⃣ pitch report with @nassercricket...
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) January 19, 2020
... and your Sunday weather forecast from Port Elizabeth 🌦
Can England press on in their search for victory in the third Test? 🤔
Watch #SAvENG from 7.30am on Sky Sports Cricket 📺 pic.twitter.com/dQiM2NukyM
It’s not currently raining in PE, but there’s a chance of showers before play starts, as there is in the first scheduled hour. If South Africa bat sensibly, they’ve a decent chance of going to Joburg all-square.
Preamble
For reasons which will become immediately apparent I’m going to whisper this in invisible ink, but: might England have the bones of a decent Test side? Our name is Guardian OBO, and we’re hopeless optimistics.
But stick with us. Let’s say that Sibley and Crawley are good – at batting time if nothing else. When Burns comes back, the latter moves to first wicket down; the middle-order is already decent when it’s allowed to be an actual middle-order; and suddenly the batting line-up that has bestowed such consistent hilarity looks a serious proposition.
And then there’s the bowling. Archer is a superstar; Broad and Anderson are bowling as well as ever; a fit Wood is an exceptional weapon; and all of a sudden the only thing missing is a top-class spinner. Ideally, one able to take first-innings wickets, but given the artillery at the other end, it’d be enough to holding one down before stepping in on day 3 – or whenever Tests are finishing this time next year – to clean up. Done and done.
Whether Dom Bess is that man remains to be seen – Trent Bridge 06 aside, tracks like this current one don’t exist anywhere outside the sub-continent. Still, you need the head and heart to succeed, and he’ll be hoping yesterday was the first of many, not a Peter Such-style confluence of circumstance. He’s got a lot of work to do this morning, and he can be sure that Quinton de Kock won’t simply let him go about it. We’re in for a treat.
Play: 10am local time, 8am GMT
Updated
