Close of play
130th over: South Africa 353-3 (Amla 157, du Plessis 51) This gives new meaning to ‘death bowling’, with Finn and Stokes throwing absolutely everything into their bowling at the end of a really long day. du Plessis almost plays a back defensive onto his own stumps, with the ball hitting the bottom of his foot instead, and he’s beaten on the hook next ball. There are smiles from du Plessis and Stokes at the end of a lovely, classical day’s Test cricket. For the second day in a row, only one wicket fell to a bowler.
Well played South Africa, and particularly Hashim Amla, who batted all day to quietly drag his team back into this series. They still have work to do if they are to save the match, but that’s surely the likeliest outcome now. England should have few recriminations about their bowling, though they will be irritated by a couple of dropped catches by Anderson and Compton. Thanks for your company, see you tomorrow!
Updated
129th over: South Africa 353-3 (Amla 157, du Plessis 51) We’re going to lose overs, despite the extra half-hour. Finn and Stokes are trying so hard to get some life out of the middle of the pitch, with a number of men on the leg side for du Plessis in particular. But he’s able to get on top of the bounce again to paddle a single to long leg. There’s an odd delay thereafter, with the umpires checking whether du Plessis kicked the stumps in playing the stroke, but the bail only fell off when he was halfway down the wicket. He was nowhere near the stumps. The upshot is that England will only have time for one more over today.
128th over: South Africa 352-3 (Amla 157, du Plessis 50) du Plessis reaches an important, potentially career-saving fifty by pulling Stokes for a single. He’s played beautifully so far, and South Africa will feel that their real team is starting to re-emerge in place of the unrepresentative shower of the first Test. Amla is back, de Villiers isn’t keeping, du Plessis might be back, Steyn is on a diet of raw steak, Philander could be fit for the third Test. This series has changed a lot in the last 26 hours.
@robsmyth0 As a nickname, 'Bob' may seem unexciting, but I liked it when applied to @swfc player Gilles de Bilde... #yeshecan
— Dave Slater (@daveslate) January 4, 2016
Updated
127th over: South Africa 347-3 (Amla 157, du Plessis 45)
Finn has two men out for du Plessis, who is able to get on top of the inevitable bouncer and paddle it for a single. Amla then ignores three consecutive short balls, defends a fourth and ducks under a fifth. Finn is bowling with admirable intensity at the end of such a trying day.
South Africa have now batted for one delivery more than England for 283 runs fewer.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) January 4, 2016
126th over: South Africa 346-3 (Amla 157, du Plessis 44) Stokes tries his luck around the wicket to du Plessis, who clips a full ball through midwicket for two. This has been his best Test innings for a while, and incontrovertibly his best innings of 2016 in all forms.
“Re. Angus Doulton’s story of being bowled by his mother (122nd over),” begins Jonathan McCauley-Oliver. “Surely if you’re going to surrender your wicket to your mother it should be caught at Freudian slip?”
125th over: South Africa 343-3 (Amla 157, du Plessis 41) This is good from Cook, who has introduced the Bovver Boys of Stokes and now Finn late in the day, when South Africa would prefer to potter peacefully on the front foot. England are trying to get the ball changed in accordance with Law 27.2 xii – that it’s doing bugger all – but Aleem Dar says no.
Amla gets a couple of overthrows when Broad’s throw from mid-on deflects off the stumps. Broad has the face on, I think because the ball hasn’t been changed. England are getting a bit cakey, and Finn is not entirely enamoured when du Plessis pulls away just as he is about to bowl. In fairness, there was demonstrative evidence of human life behind the bowler’s arm.
Even Allan Lamb, sitting watching the game with Sir Ian Botham, is losing his rag! I think a female steward asked him to leave, and received a lively serve in response. There’s giggling in the Sky commentary box, and now Lamby has gone! He’s walked! This is priceless. He walked off with a seriously affronted coupon. I’d love to know what that was all about.
124th over: South Africa 338-3 (Amla 154, du Plessis 39) Mike Atherton has just told an astonishing story on Sky. Apparently, during the 1984 ‘Blackwash’, England’s selectors were so convinced that West Indies couldn’t handle legspin that they considered looking for one in league cricket. That is wonderfully bonkers.
Now, Ben Stokes has been invited to extract some blood from the stone in the last 40 minutes of play. It’s been emphatically South Africa’s day, but one wicket now – especially Amla – would makle those Gatorade chasers taste so much sweeter. A win is certainly not beyond the realms, though they would need the pitch to do something, anything, on day five. Stokes tries a couple of zesty short balls, one of which is wided on height.
“How could you forget Brad Haddin’s hilarious moniker ‘Rockin’ Rod Stewart’?” says Paul Ewart. “Shane Warne anointed him thus as he sported the type of mullet associated (in Shane’s mind) with wizened, leopard-skin sporting, lycra-clad crooner Bet Lynch Rod Stewart. Forgive me, I’ve just lost the will to live…”
123rd over: South Africa 332-3 (Amla 153, du Plessis 35) A maiden from Root to Amla. South Africa have stopped the car and parked the bus, with just seven runs from the last 10 wickets.
122nd over: South Africa 332-3 (Amla 153, du Plessis 35) Ach! That was nearly a crucial wicket for England. Faf du Plessis tried to whip a short ball from Anderson to leg, but it stopped in the pitch and he got a leading edge towards mid-off. Finn, slow to react, couldn’t get there as it landed teasingly short of him. Mike Atherton wonders whether this is a poor seeing ground, as a few England players have had problems with catches in this match. Shaun Pollock confirms that it’s not a great seeing ground, certainly square of the wicket. Finn was at mid-off. In truth I’m not sure he’d have get there even with a 0.0001 second reaction time.
“Was that comment about the brain and occasional bowlers in the 119th over meant to refer to the day I was, in a serious cricket match, bowled by my mother?” asks Angus Doulton. “I’ve been thinking about that, every now and then, for nearly fifty years.”
I bet she’ll have had some Marty Crane-style mixed emotions at that point.
121st over: South Africa 332-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 153, du Plessis 34) Joe Root replaces Alex Hales, who bowled a harmless little spell of 3-1-2-0. Root has taken some good wickets in his career, as much through force of personality as off-spinning talent, but there is nothing doing in that over. There are 12 overs remaining and you’d think Stokes and/or Finn are worth a short spell before the close.
120th over: South Africa 331-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 153, du Plessis 34) We’ve had seven runs in the last seven overs. Make that seven in eight, after a maiden from Anderson to Amla. He’s doing everything right, bowling straight and hoping for a bit of reverse or a drive at one that stops in the pitch. No dice, soldier
“My mates heard a nickname some time back which they’ve used on me for a while, ‘Thrombosis’,” writes THE Chris Evans. “Because I’m a slow moving clot.” I’d love to hear him shout that across the bar in one of Edinburgh’s livelier social-networking establishments. ‘Oh, Thrombosis, you still on the WKDs?’
119th over: South Africa 331-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 153, du Plessis 34) Another maiden from Hales to du Plessis. The advantage of a very occasional bowler like Hales is that, for a proper batsman, getting out is unthinkable. And when something is unthinkable, the brain has a funny habit of thinking about it quite a lot.
118th over: South Africa 331-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 153, du Plessis 34)
There’s just a hint of reverse for Anderson, I think. Amla is beaten by the last delivery, launching into a big drive. It definitely moved, though it may have been off the seam. A maiden. The runs have dried up, and a bit of pressure is building thanks to the parsimony of that legendary bowling pair Anderson and Hales.
Updated
117th over: South Africa 331-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 153, du Plessis 34) Hales continues, with one from his second over. I think occasional bowlers should be used more in situations like this. One thing that has always fascinated me is how, when Mark Taylor was captain, Australia seemed to take tons of wickets through a variety of part-time bowlers, so much so that for a while they were able to have that weird lopsided XI with Michael Bevan at seven. Look at some of the names on this list.
116th over: South Africa 330-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 152, du Plessis 34) On the subject of nicknames, I’m still disappointed that – despite literally four gratuitous OBO entries in the last five years in an attempt to inflict it upon our tens of readers – the India wicketkeeper Wriddhiman Saha is not known as ‘Blues’. Anyway, James ‘Jimmy’ Anderson begins after drinks, and a low full toss is clattered down the ground for four by du Plessis with a flamingo flourish. England are trying plenty and have bowled pretty well today, Finn in particular.
“I was briefly* dubbed ‘Tommy two sixes’ after two of my wearily hungover Sunday afternoon dibbly dobblers were consecutively carted in the direction of the A406 in Walthamstow,” writes my colleague Tom Davies. “I still bear the scars.
* not briefly enough, frankly”
115th over: South Africa 326-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 152, du Plessis 30) Alex Hales is coming into the attack! It’s worth a try I suppose. He bowls “Right Arm Optimistic”, as Mikey Holding puts it on commentary, and his first over passes without incident. That’s drinks.
“In P J Whiteley’s cricket-based novel ‘Close of Play,’ every member of the narrator’s team, including the narrator himself, has a recondite nickname,” says Richard Woods. “It is a great read, and well recommended, but I should declare an interest - Phil is not only a thoroughly nice guy, he is also married to one of my oldest friends.”
114th over: South Africa 325-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 152, du Plessis 29) It usually swings at Cape Town, but it has barely done so at all for Anderson in this match. Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to hope one hits a crack, keeps low and castles Amla. Not this time: a maiden.
113th over: South Africa 325-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 152, du Plessis 29)
Bairstow appeals a little desperately for LBW when Amla, attempting to flick to leg, is hit outside the line by Moeen. I’m not sure this is the right tactic from Cook. If he doesn’t replace Moeen with Stokes soon I’m in serious danger of posting an entitled, outraged tweet.
“Can’t believe no one has thrown Mark Waugh into the mix here,” says Guy Hornsby. “His early career found him in the not inconsiderable shadow of his brother Steve, leading him to be ‘Afghan’ or ‘Afghanistan’ as Russia’s invasion was sometimes known as ‘the forgotten war’.” Yeah that was top of this AOC list of cricket nicknames.
112th over: South Africa 324-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 151, du Plessis 29) Anderson replaces Finn, who bowled an excellent four-over spell. That’s fair enough. It’s so easy to get lost in the beauty of the moment and greedily put away a third Double Whopper before your stomach’s mercy plea has reached the brain overbowl your shock bowler, but Michael Clarke’s use of Mitchell Johnson in 2013-14 is a precedent worth following. Anderson has an unusual field for Amla: wide slip, absurd mid-off, short cover and short midwicket. Nothing happens. For du Plessis there is also a short cover, but also two slips and a gully.
111th over: South Africa 321-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 150, du Plessis 27) Moeen is still working away at du Plessis, with a silly point now introduced. It feels like AMla has barely faced a ball from Moeen since tea. That suits England, though du Plessis has looked in control defensively apart from that one bat-pad that flew past Taylor. Another maiden. Time for a change at that end. Alastair Cook must introduce Ben Stokes.
“Golfer Corey Pavin never, to my knowledge, got called ‘Crazy’,” says Tom Atkins. “A tragic oversight.” That’s a good one, cheers Low Carb.
110th over: South Africa 321-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 150, du Plessis 27) That’s 150 for Amla! In the context of his and South Africa’s miserable 2015, that is such an impressive captain’s innings. As always with Amla it’s been deceptively undemonstrative and brow-soothingly elegant.
@robsmyth0 hi, on sporting nicknames can you include Michael 'whispering death' Holding if you haven't already done so please ?
— Mark Healey (@the_kauto_boy) January 4, 2016
Not gonna happen mate.
Updated
109th over: South Africa 319-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 149, du Plessis 26) Moeen is starting to get a little bit of turn. There have been so many runs – almost a thousand – that it’s easy to forget this is still a third-day pitch. We thought it would break up as the match progresses and that might still happen. It would be, in the parlance of our time, a gamechanger.
108th over: South Africa 318-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 148, du Plessis 26) Finn is bowling with considerable intensity, which is one of the main advantages of shorter spells. Ben Stokes is a godsend in that regard. One ball lifts sharply as du Plessis offers no stroke and is taken at head height by Jonny Bairstow. The lack of sideways movement – orthodox swing, reverse, seam – is making it difficult for England though.
“How could you forget the former Man City/Ajax/Netherlands midfielder Kiki Musampa, who didn’t understand why his team-mates nicknamed him ‘Chris’?” wonders Graeme Thorn. Indeed, how could I? I accept full responsibility for my actions and feel I MUST hereby tender my resignation.
107th over: South Africa 316-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 147, du Plessis 25) Faf du Plessis, hitherto strokeless against Moeen, plays a confident cover drive for four. I’d be tempted to get Moeen off and give Anderson or Stokes a little spell. England need to stay patient, though that is increasingly hard when the score is 300-odd for three.
“Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Given the time of year, if we’re talking nicknames I’m thinking darts. As a Scot, I always liked Jamie ‘Bravedart’ Harvey, and John ‘Darth Maple’ Part and Wayne ‘Hawaii 5-0-1’ Mardle deserve a mention too. I was watching a programme recently on Bob ‘The Limestone Cowboy’ Anderson who, whilst wearing his trademark cowboy hat, was actually accompanied once during his walk-on by a real live horse. Apparently the horse went on to be a two-time semi-finalist at the BDO world championships.”
@robsmyth0 It amazes me that no one calls Jason Puncheon 'Judy'.
— Michael Burgess (@MikeJBurgess) January 4, 2016
106th over: South Africa 311-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 147, du Plessis 20) Amla goes back to force Finn through the covers for two. He’s almost halfway to the 311 he made against England in 2012. In other news, here’s Michael Keane. “I always thought Wasps coach Dai Young had the best sporting nickname - Live Fast.”
105th over: South Africa 309-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 145, du Plessis 20) We’re approaching “that’s why call it Test cricket” bingo, and I’d say the draw is now slight favourite – certainly while Amla is at the crease. But as HD Ackerman says on Sky, South Africa are still in trouble here and there are multiple ways England could win this. The extent to which the pitch deteriorates will probably decide this match.
@robsmyth0 If we're allowed footballers, David N'Gog was being called Wash within five minutes of signing for Liverpool.
— Paul (@PaulOnBooks) January 4, 2016
104th over: South Africa 308-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 144, du Plessis 20)
Finn, on for Broad, finds an edge from Amla that drops short of the slips and then races away for four. It’s an expensive over – nine from it – but he also beats du Plessis with a fine last delivery. We shouldn’t get carried away, but Finn is looking as menacing as he has since 2011-12. If he becomes the bowler we thought he would, and it remains a big if, and if Stokes becomes the all-conquering monster we think he might, and that’s a big if too, England are going to be a seriously formidable side.
Anyone in Cape Town for Test, try and get to open air screening of Warriors. Terrific film. https://t.co/FyC4ZYZds4
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) January 4, 2016
103rd over: South Africa 299-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 138, du Plessis 18)
In my gratuitous, premature 1998 comparison, Amla is playing the part of Alec Stewart to perfection with a mood-changing, potentially match-saving big hundred. Maybe Broad and de Villiers will play Donald and Atherton in the next Test. Back in real life, du Plessis bat-pads Moeen in the air and wide of Taylor at short leg. That’s encouraging for England. It was no sort of chance for Taylor as the ball flew past him.
102nd over: South Africa 298-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 138, du Plessis 17) Amla tries to hook another wide bouncer from Broad, is too early on the shot and toe-ends it into the off side. A good over is tarnished by the last delivery, an attempted yorker that becomes a low full-toss and is pinged sweetly wide of mid-off for four by Amla. Broad would prefer to bowl on Trent Bridge 2015 every day, of course, but he loves the challenge of winkling out wickets when the pitch and the match situation are flat. He and Anderson legitimately take enormous satisfaction from excelling at the hard yards.
Best sports nickname ever @robsmyth0 - Crystal Palace defender known as One Size. His name. Fitz Hall. Genius.
— Kate Vogelsang (@Kate_bob) January 4, 2016
Yeah that’s one of the better ones. See also All Hands, for the former South African pace bowler Morne Zondeki.
101st over: South Africa 294-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 134, du Plessis 17) Moeen has a slip and short leg for du Plessis. There is no turn, however, and as such du Plessis can comfortably defend another maiden.
100th over: South Africa 294-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 134, du Plessis 17) du Plessis considers hooking a wide short ball from Broad, and then rightly decides against it. It was so wide that he would not have been able to control the shot. Nice idea from Broad, who is a very thoughtful bowler. Perhaps sometimes he thinks too much, as Michael Vaughan has said, but for the most part it’s a virtue.
“Re: the 98th over,” begins Adam Roberts. “Surely it shouldn’t be haircut at all – Barnet fair, hair, no?” Ach, you’re right! I’ve been hoist by own pedantry.
99th over: South Africa 292-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 133, du Plessis 16) Moeen continues, a consequence of du Plessis’ existence. He has struggled badly against spin in the last few months. Nothing happens in that over, a maiden.
“At our club, the mighty Hampshire Hogs, we have a number of great nicknames with mysterious or oblique origins,” says George Browne. “One I have wondered about is the Smith – Smudger tradtion? Can you, as a fellow Smith/Smyth, shed any light? We have our own Smudger, who keeps wicket and bestows a variety of nicknames sometimes at random: the spinner bowling in sunnies becomes “X-ray-specs”, or the chap with the strange action is christened “The Windmill”. Happily, we exacted some revenge on dear Smudger this summer. When on a fishing holiday in Scotland he fell in the river three times. He has been rechristened “Splasher”.”
I’m called Smudger by some people even though a) my name is Smyth not Smith and b) I’m 39 years old. Wasn’t it based on a cartoon character or something?
98th over: South Africa 292-3 (need 430 to avoid the follow-on; Amla 133, du Plessis 16) Stuart Broad starts after tea with an accurate but uneventful over. This will be a long session, with 36 overs still to be bowled, and by the end we’ll have a much better idea where this match is going. I’m starting to get a 1998 feeling about all this, and not just because I have a Mousse T ringtone. It depends on the fitness of Steyn and Philander though.
“I used to work with a chap called Nick Barnet,” says Adam Philpott. “His nickname? Stolen Haircut. Obviously.”
Surely it should be Steal Haircut? God, pedantry can be so sexy.
Thanks Nick. Hello all. Would you like me to take you home? Don’t blush baby.
That’s not sexist, I’m saying it to all of you.
Updated
And with that, it’s over to Rob Smyth to take you home. Or just to the close of play. Depends how things go, really.
Email him on Rob.Smyth@guardian.co.uk, or tweet @RobSmyth0, if you fancy.
“So, my friend & I were at Newlands yesterday and were fortunate enough to watch Stokes unleash hell! Wow!” exclaims Carl Ferguson.
“However, the real reason we were there is because we were due to set off from the ground this morning to start a 4000 mile cycle, from Cape Town to Kigali in Rwanda, across nine countries, in 100 days.
“We’ve just finished the first day and have reached Stellembosch and whilst the test glides along (or grinds to a halt!) we were wondering if you’d be kind enough to give us a plug? We’re doing this slightly crazy challenge to raise funds and awareness for Cricket Without Boundaries, which is an UK based HIV/AIDS awareness and African cricket development charity. Here are the details of what and why we’re doing it but if you could give us a plug at tea or something it would be hugely appreciated?”
Tea: South Africa 290-3, trail England by 339 runs
So, tea then. Not sure how England will be feeling after that session. They have dismissed the man who could’ve done something similar to Stokes if he’d got going, and any wicket is gratefully accepted on this track with no swing in the ball, but they have missed chances. Hmmm. Tough one.
Updated
97th over: South Africa 290-3 (Amla 132, Du Plessis 15)
Over of spin before tea, as Moeen is back for a crack at Faf. Du Plessis pushes a single into the covers, then Amla prods at one outside off, getting what’s either a guided or a lucky four down to third man, depending on how generous you’re feeling.
96th over: South Africa 284-3 (Amla 127, Du Plessis 14)
Finn goes short to Du Plessis again, and he top-edges a pull, there are cries of ‘CAAAAAATTTCCCCHHHH’ but it falls well short of Ali at fine leg. Finn goes around the wicket to Amla and aims a few at his person, one of which is called a wide as it sails over his head.
Andrew Benzeval does something with a potential pun I’ve been mulling over for a while, but haven’t nailed yet: “I am probably alone in thinking that Nick Compton’s nickname ought to be “Straight Outta”, which could then be shortened to “Straight” or “Outta”, giving the opportunity to not only have a brilliant nickname* but also the opportunity to explain it to confused onlookers which, let’s face it, is the best thing about nicknames anyway.”
* nickname may not be brilliant.
95th over: South Africa 281-3 (Amla 126, Du Plessis 13)
Stokes continues to bowl short at the new man, but Du Plessis gets on top of a steepler and pulls it in front of square for a boundary. And then another four, as he sort of crouches and lunges forwards to make what might’ve been a yorker into a full toss, and he punches it down the ground.
94th over: South Africa 273-3 (Amla 126, Du Plessis 5)
England on the attack straight away to the out of form Faf, and Finn gets an edge straight away, but it bounces well short of the slips and goes through the gap to the boundary. Frustratingly for Finn, he again troubles Du Plessis with one to his hip, but a Broad misfield donates a single. In isolation, despite the wicket, this would still look pretty good for South Africa, but they remain 357 runs in arrears.
This is strong, from Mike Jakeman: “The best nickname in my team (shout-out to the Red Square Lions) belongs to a chap called Dan Roper, who we call Black Belt. He has no martial arts prowess that we know of, but we used to be the third Dan in a row in our batting line-up.”
WICKET! De Villiers c Anderson b Finn 88 (South Africa 268-3)
A wicket! Finally, a wicket! Finn bangs another one in, De Villiers connects with gusto on the pull, but it goes about a foot above Anderson’s head at mid-wicket. He parries the ball up in the air, then takes the catch at the second attempt.
Updated
93rd over: South Africa 267-2 (Amla 125, de Villiers 88)
Stokes bowls a snorter of a short ball at Amla, who throws up his hands, the ball flies up in the air and Amla resembles a cat chasing a bit of string trying to work out where it had gone. Another catches an edge but drops in front of first slip, another is pulled for a single.
“Really, Sean Clayton? Really?” asks Michael Hunt, which going by his email address genuinely is his name. “Much as I would generally praise unnecessary fancying up and using ‘sobriquet’ instead of ‘name’, in the context of your tale, wouldn’t ‘moniker’ be a much more appropriate term?”
92nd over: South Africa 265-2 (Amla 124, de Villiers 87)
Finn looks like he’s going to pepper De Villiers’s chest, going by the field, and at least succeeds in forcing the batsman so far back he nearly steps on his stumps. Worth a try, but Finn had been troubling AB anyway, so possibly a bit early to go for that?
Meanwhile, Richard De Visser has a convoluted nickname to explain: “When I was at school, the goalkeeper in my hockey team acme up with a few good nicknames.
“The best was very short: “Ed”, but its derivation was convoluted. The player in question (who was called Anthony) had a face a little bit like that of a garden gnome ... “Garden Gnome” this was too long, so it became “GG” ... a “gee-gee” is a horse ... this horse could talk, so he became “Mister Ed” ... and that was shortend to “Ed”
91st over: South Africa 264-2 (Amla 124, de Villiers 86)
Taylor stops a certain four after Amla gets plenty of a drive into the covers. De Villiers looks keen to tee off after they take a single, but he doesn’t quite get a couple of shots right, and only takes one.
90th over: South Africa 262-2 (Amla 123, de Villiers 85)
Drop! Another! Third of this partnership! In fairness to Compton at point Amla did hit the ball like he hated it, but the Middlesex man just didn’t see it properly, getting his fingertips to the ball, diving to his left at about waist height, but it burst through at they take a couple. Hoo boy.
Updated
89th over: South Africa 259-2 (Amla 120, de Villiers 85)
Tidy over otherwise from Stokes, just a single coming from it.
“On nicknames,” writes Sean Clayton, “one member of one of our regular cricket opponents in London had the sobriquet “Ross from Friends” due to his uncanny likeness to David Schwimmer. It’s surprisingly difficult to maintain Trott-esque batting composure when the opposing captain is setting his field with “In a couple of yards to mid-on please, Ross from Friends”…
Big fan of the needlessly unwieldy nickname.
Not out!
And the nick is there, so De Villiers continues.
Review!
Stokes is into the attack, and gets one to duck in at De Villiers, it hits his pads and the finger goes up, but it’s reviewed instantly, rather suggesting a big nick...
Updated
88th over: South Africa 258-2 (Amla 119, de Villiers 85)
Guy gets his wish as Finn takes the ball. De Villiers absolutely nails a cut which is brilliantly stopped in the covers by Hales - that would’ve been a stinger for a fielder on the boundary, so hopefully someone has some balm for the bloke 15 yards away. Then, an edge! But it flies just wide of the man at thirdish slip, and to the third man fence.
De Villiers then gets plenty on a straight drive which Finn gets a fingertip to, directing it onto the stumps and they go upstairs to check whether Amla is out backing up, the cruellest of dismissals. The skipper looks unruffled, which isn’t exactly news because he never exactly looks stressed, but on this occasion he has every cause to be calm, as he grounded his bat in plenty of time.
Hello there, Nick here again until tea. Tried to figure out how to type the sound of panting. Didn’t get very far. Any suggestions?
Meanwhile, Guy Hornsby has been on: “Afternoon Nick, afternoon everyone. I feel it’s only fair for me to demand a wicket now we have the new ball. I turned the sprightly age of 41 today (which means its ten years since my first OBO email was printed, people get less for murder) and while I worked over Christmas I’m really not feeling it today, so please give generously, England. Given these two are looking so well set, there’s no WAY they’ll get out now surely? (Give Finn the ball, it was worth a try).”
87th over: South Africa 254-2 (Amla 119, de Villiers 81) Lovely stuff again from Amla, who cuts Anderson effortlessly for four. It looked that way, at least. As David Gower once said, it’s hard work making batting look effortless. Amla is working like a dog right now. Right, that’s drinks. Nick Miller is panting furiously in the corner, so I’ll tag him in for the rest of this session. See you after tea!
Updated
86th over: South Africa 248-2 (Amla 113, de Villiers 81) It’s important that England don’t feel sorry for themselves and assume this is drifting towards a draw. Some might even go so far as to say they MUST not do that. They know that one wicket could change this completely, such is the insecurity surrounding South Africa’s remaining batsmen. They almost get a wicket when Amla plays a flashing drive at Broad, yet the edge falls short of the man at a widish slip. On day one we thought this pitch was Perth. Breaking news: it isn’t Perth.
“What they MUST do, is take a wicket to jolt me out of my back to work torpor,” says Liz Rippin. “Maybe they will have a sudden burst of afternoon productivity. I certainly don’t think I will.”
That’s one of the few good things about being a sports journalist – that you work over Christmas, and therefore don’t have to endure the long day of the soul that is the first Monday of January. Happy new year losers!
Updated
85th over: South Africa 247-2 (Amla 112, de Villiers 81) Too straight again from Anderson, and de Villiers helps himself to four free runs to fine leg. I’d get Finn on for Anderson, or at least make Anderson switch ends. It’s not really happening for him at the moment.
“There’s a member of the England coaching staff who I keep seeing walking round the boundary between dressing room and nets. Built like a brick outhouse/prop forward, looks a bit like John Candy. Any idea who it is?” Do you mean Paul Farbrace? I suppose there’s a vague resemblance. Or has the fat physio emerged from the grave in which Ricky Ponting buried him alive?
84th over: South Africa 243-2 (Amla 112, de Villiers 77) A wide, shortish delivery from Broad is extirpated through point for four by de Villiers. Broad has a quarter-assed LBW appeal later in the over when de Villiers is hit high on the pad by a nipbacker, not so much an appeal as the sort of vague enquiry a nervous teenager makes when asking someone out on a date. I know you probably won’t want to … I mean I’m sure you’ve got better things to do and I’ve heard all the rumours about you and Fragrant Kev, even if it’s entirely incongruous that a smart girl like you would want to, I mean might want to go out with someone who has modelled his hair on Harry Styles… anyway, do you think that there are any circumstances under which it might be worth me asking you whether that could conceivably have been leg before wicket?
“I have an unusual surname, Thonger and an absurd forename (for a male), Kimberley,” says Kimberley Thonger. “Cricketing team mates chose to amend to DingeryDonger, which I rather liked.” In the way a hostage sometimes grows to rather like their captor?
83rd over: South Africa 238-2 (Amla 112, de Villiers 72) Anderson and Broad are bowling with their usual intense accuracy, but the new ball isn’t doing much. A maiden from Anderson to Amla. It feels like the real series has started today. Imagine if South Africa do draw this game, and then Philander and Steyn – who has been kept in a cave without wi-fi and fed nothing but raw steak for two weeks – return for the third Test on a Jo’burg greentop. That would be thrillingly scary.
“That’s odd. Cos my school nickname was ‘Millings’,” says Michael Hunt. I can’t believe anyone used that sick word before the watershed, never mind in a school.
82nd over: South Africa 236-2 (Amla 111, de Villiers 72) de Villiers drags Broad into the leg side for a single to bring up the 150 partnership. A good over from Broad, though there’s no sign of movement. Sir Ian Botham, an expert on swing bowling – as much as anybody can be an expert of something so mysterious - also thinks Anderson should change ends.
“Choo for choo choo choo, surely?” says Josh Robinson. When in Cape Town…
Updated
81st over: South Africa 234-2 (Amla 110, de Villiers 72) Anderson takes the new ball. He’s bowling from the Ben Stokes End, which is slightly surprising as some thought he might switch to the Other Ben Stokes End in search of the swing that he could not find yesterday. His first ball is too straight and helped to the fine-leg boundary by Amla, who is then beaten by consecutive shorter deliveries that move away off the seam. That’s encouraging for England. To use the vogue word in sports journalism, they MUST take wickets with the new ball.
80th over: South Africa 230-2 (Amla 106, de Villiers 72) Stokes concludes business with the old ball with a quiet over. England waste precisely 0.00 seconds in asking for the new ball.
“On nickname formation (77th over),” begins Mac Millings, “I can’t reveal my school-days nickname on a popular, family-friendly website, but I can tell you it rhymed with a certain fast-living, champagne-swilling, British racecar driver. (With a “y” added, to give it that cuteness.).” You can say Willy on a family-friendly website, it’s a normal first name. Oh.
Do you ever wonder what your school bullies are up to now? That’d be a great reality TV show, like Surprise Surprise but with a twist – of your arm, followed by a Chinese burn and a sickening wedgie, etc, etc.
79th over: South Africa 229-2 (Amla 105, de Villiers 71) Another short ball from Moeen is carted over square-leg for four by de Villiers. These are useful runs for South Africa before the second new ball; they know if they reach 430 and avoid the follow-on they should save the game.
78th over: South Africa 225-2 (Amla 105, de Villiers 67) Amla gets up on his toes to time Stokes through point for three, a really beautiful stroke. Hales did splendidly to save the boundary and ensure the score would, for the time being, be choo choo choo for choo. de Villiers then works a couple through midwicket. England’s bowlers haven’t done a lot wrong today. As Duncan Fletcher used to say, good players are allowed to play well. They’re allowed to have a bit of luck too.
77th over: South Africa 219-2 (Amla 102, de Villiers 64) A long hop from Moeen is whizzbanged into the stands at midwicket by de Villiers. That’s the 16th six of the match.
“Re: your acknowledgement of Mike Selvey’s keen eye for batsmen,” begins Cliff Fourie. “It always struck me as odd that so many English names have a “y” added to the end to make them more ‘matey’ like “Cooky” or “Straussy”. But one that is ready made to roll off the tongue, “Selvey”, has the y dropped so that is more abrupt. What gives?”
Being a Smythy, I’m not sure. You’d have to ask the Selvemeister General.
Updated
76th over: South Africa 213-2 (Amla 102, de Villiers 58) Stokes is concentrating largely on a fifth-stump line, giving South Africa a taste of the medicine they often administered when Jacques Kallis was bowling. He then slips in a surprise short ball that beats de Villiers for pace, with a spliced pull landing safely in the vacant square-leg area. This is really good, purposeful old-ball bowling from Stokes.
75th over: South Africa 210-2 (Amla 101, de Villiers 57)
A maiden from Moeen. In a perverse way, this is good for England. Not just the challenge, but because it will make any victory far worthier. If South Africa had rolled over and been plugged by an innings, everybody would have said they are rubbish and a team of Iranis could have beaten them. This is a timely reminder of why only one non-Australian side – Michael Vaughan’s 2004-05 legends – have won a Test series in South Africa since readmission. Even when they are in mild disarray, they are extremely tough to beat at home.
74th over: South Africa 210-2 (Amla 101, de Villiers 57)
Ben Stokes continues from the Ben Stokes End. This would be a brilliant time to take a wicket through force of personality, and expose Faf du Plessis to the new ball. A good over, just one from it. There’s no need for England to worry just yet – but if these two are here at tea, with the new ball 20-odd overs old, the draw will probably be slight favourite.
73rd over: South Africa 209-2 (Amla 101, de Villiers 56)
Hashim Amla rushes to a wonderful century in the first over of the afternoon session, driving Moeen for four and then steering another boundary past backward point. Forget the partisan nonsense; it’s lovely to see one of the good guys return to form, under the most extreme pressure, with his usual serene class and dignity. There are many different ways to play a captain’s innings. Amla has not gritted his teeth once in this knock, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t had to go deep into his soul. Marvellous stuff. England know they are now bowling to the 2012 Amla, not the 2015 version.
Updated
Lunchtime viewing
This is really good.
Nice from @melindafarrell , bringing smiles across Australia https://t.co/kYWsZcbvtV
— David Hopps (@DavidKHopps) January 3, 2016
Shameless book plug
RT @robsmyth0: Ahead of Sky's love-in, here's the world's best MBMer, Scott Murray, doing the 1966 World Cup final: https://t.co/uDDwE2j0dv
— The Blizzard (@blzzrd) January 4, 2016
Kudos to Mike Selvey. Not for the turquoise T-shirt he’s currently sporting on Sky Sports. Definitely not for that. But because he spotted Amla’s imminent return to form in the second innings of the first Test. There’s a scandalous war on expertise at the moment, so thank goodness for people like Selve. Now if we can just introduce him to the Style Adviser service at Top Shop.
Amla seems to be moving into the ball quite nicely.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) December 29, 2015
Updated
Hello, Rob here
Marsellus Wallace would not have enjoyed watching this morning’s play, and not only because he’s a fictional character based in a country that knows the square root of bugger all about cricket, and therefore would legitimately have regarded it as a waste of two hours he might have spent fixing fights. Even if he knew cricket intimately, he wouldn’t have enjoyed the sting of pride that enabled Hashim Amla and AB de Villiers to change the mood of this match by batting throughout the morning session.
Only the confused did not think that, at some stage in this four-match series, the enormous pride of South Africa’s great players would kick in to considerable effect - whether through the batting of Amla and de Villiers, or the bowling of Vernon Philander or a feral Dale Steyn when they return from injury.
England needed to establish a significant lead before that happened, and they have done so: they led 1.5-0 this morning, and still have plenty of time to make it 2-0 despite the excellent defence of Amla and de Villiers. It was a terrific session, a subtle, arthouse follow-up to yesterday’s blockbuster, feelgood thrills: there were 58 runs this morning, as compared to 194 in the first session yesterday, when Ben Stokes and Jonny Bairstow made hundreds that were spine-tingling for very different reasons.
The new ball, due in eight overs’ time, feels like a pivotal moment in the match, even though we’re not at the halfway point. England should still win the game. But if they don’t, if South Africa’s sneak a draw with their catenaccio batting, the series will start to have a slightly troubling whiff of 1998 in reverse.
Updated
Paul Ewart has been painting a picture:
“It was as though someone had switched off the wireless, and a voice that had been bawling in my ears, incessantly, fatuously, for days beyond number, had been suddenly cut short; an immense silence followed, empty at first, but gradually, as my outraged sense regained authority, fully of a multitude of sweet and natural and long forgotten sounds: for he had spoken a name that was so familiar to me, a conjuror’s name of such ancient power, that, at its mere sound, the phantoms of those haunted late years began to take flight: Adelaide.
“P.S. I don’t really believe it....”
“Whisper it Nick,” whispers Krishnan Patel, “but can you imagine the massacre had Stokes and/or Bairstow had gotten out cheaply? I said on day one that this looked like a modern-day Australian wicket and nothing has changed. Runs, runs and more runs.”
And runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs and runs.
Lunch: South Africa 199-2, trail England by 430 runs
Well, that wasn’t the most dynamic morning of Test cricket you’ll ever see, but South Africa will clearly be pleased to have survived the morning unscathed. England tried plenty of things, from bowling dry to a bit of short stuff to a punt on the Joe Root ‘golden arm’ - which nearly worked as Anderson put down a sharp chance at slip - but they didn’t really stick with any of their plans for very long. The new ball is available in another eight overs, so they will cling to the hope that it will do something, even though this one was a straight up and downer when it was fresh.
72nd over: South Africa 199-2 (Amla 91, De Villiers 56)
England aren’t entirely just killing time until the new ball, but it’s close. De Villiers flips one from middle stump to fine leg, and they take a couple as Anderson scampers around to field. And that’s lunch.
71st over: South Africa 197-2 (Amla 91, De Villiers 54)
Mo has a go from over the wicket, but De Villiers plays at his offerings so gently it’s as if he thinks the ball is made of crystal. Two singles from the over.
70th over: South Africa 195-2 (Amla 90, De Villiers 53)
Stokes tries to hang a wide half-volley out for De Villiers to drive at, and when the batsman ignores it he throws his head back in the style of a man who was just sure that was going to work. Another maiden.
69th over: South Africa 195-2 (Amla 90, De Villiers 53)
“Mo this is beautiful mate,” encourages Bairstow from behind the stumps, and if you enjoy event-free maidens, something England probably will after the last over, then it is indeed beautiful. On the commentary, Shaun Pollock rips a kid in the crowd for having last season’s Manchester United shirt. Zing.
68th over: South Africa 195-2 (Amla 90, De Villiers 53)
The Brief Joe Root Excursion is over, and Ben Stokes is on to try his hand. And he’s greeted in a simultaneously gorgeous and demoralising way, as Amla plays one of those drives through to covers and to the ropes. That’s pomp Amla, right there. Three more singles from the over, and Stokes looks a little vexed.
67th over: South Africa 188-2 (Amla 84, De Villiers 52)
De Villiers goes back to Moeen, and very nearly cuts onto his own stumps, his boot saving the day from his perspective. Other than that, a fairly incident-free maiden.
66th over: South Africa 188-2 (Amla 84, De Villiers 52)
Another boundary, as Root drops short to Amla, who cuts with some conviction backward of point, inspiring a popular swear word from Root picked up on the stump mic. A curse he might repeat after the next ball, given that it’s an almost exact replica: short, wide long-hop, cut through gully for four.
65th over: South Africa 180-2 (Amla 76, De Villiers 52)
De Villiers nearly gets himself in an appalling mess going for a sweep, and briefly nobody is quite sure where the ball has gone. And then finally the patience is cast aside, as De Villiers ambles down the pitch and thrashes one straight down the ground for four, bringing up his half century in the process.
Updated
64th over: South Africa 176-2 (Amla 76, De Villiers 48)
Cook really mixing things up now, as Joe Root comes on for Broad, presumably to really test the batsman’s patience. And it nearly works first ball! Root goes wide and full, Amla drives with gusto and edges to Anderson at slip...but he drops it. A sharp chance, but on this pitch one England need to take. So yesterday Root dropped a takeable chance off Anderson, and today Anderson drops a takeable chance off Root. So at least England are balanced. Amla tries to get the remaining five balls away, but can’t pierce the inner ring.
63rd over: South Africa 176-2 (Amla 76, De Villiers 48)
De Villiers gets the sweep out to Moeen and brushes one to deep backward square for a single. Amla turns another just behind square. Two runs from the over, and this is not, shall we say, exactly scintillating cricket.
62nd over: South Africa 174-2 (Amla 75, De Villiers 47)
A long conference involving half the England team before Broad’s over results in what looks like it’ll be some short stuff. There’s a man at leg gully and another at deep square, plus short mid-wicket. A couple of decent bouncers are sent down, then Broad tries around the wicket again, but no luck there either. Another maiden, the seventh of the morning.
61st over: South Africa 174-2 (Amla 75, De Villiers 47)
De Villiers seems perfectly happy to pat away most ball from Moeen, even though the spin is negligible. A maiden.
60th over: South Africa 174-2 (Amla 75, De Villiers 47)
Broad continues, but with a chap lurking at silly mid-off for a loose drive or leading edge. After a few fruitless balls outside off, Broad tries a different angle, which is to say around the wicket and across De Villiers. He tries that for two balls, then reverts to over the wicket and is lucky to get away with a wide long-hop, that De Villiers cuts to the sweeper for a single.
59th over: South Africa 173-2 (Amla 75, De Villiers 46)
Oh, hello AB. He’s looked a bit scratchy in the last few overs, but De Villiers gets himself out of that minor funk with a reverse-sweep that nutmegs Anderson at slip and goes down to the third man boundary. Another couple of singles and that’s more like it from South Africa.
58th over: South Africa 167-2 (Amla 74, De Villiers 41)
An attacking shot, of all things, from Amla, but his drive isn’t directed wide enough of the man on the cover fence and they just take a single. De Villiers, who really hasn’t looked comfortable beyond a beautiful on-drive in the first over, plays uppishly towards short mid-wicket, but in front of the man there. And then, presumably spurred on by the ‘comfortable’ jibe, De Villiers times the trousers off a straight drive that zoots past Broad, who wisely does his darndest to get out of the way as the ball rockets to the ropes.
57th over: South Africa 162-2 (Amla 73, De Villiers 37)
More tight stuff from Moeen after everyone has a little drink, with just a single, tucked by Amla, from the over.
56th over: South Africa 161-2 (Amla 72, De Villiers 37)
Broad continues with the theory of bowling wide of off stump to try tempting De Villiers into something rash, but nothing doing - it’s a war of patience. But what’s this - Broad bowls a leg cutter that not only moves, but moves so much that De Villiers plays and misses by about six inches. A bit of hope for England there, at least.
55th over: South Africa 161-2 (Amla 72, De Villiers 37)
A double bowling change, and here’s some spin from Moeen Ali. He’s round the wicket to Amla, but there isn’t a great deal of turn for him. Which is to say there’s none at all. Amla nearly offers a return catch via a leading edge, but it dropped well short and that was the excitement over for the, erm, over.
“I don’t care if we (SA) bat slowly as long as the wickets stay intact,” says Richard Mansell. “Every time I refresh I get a slightly sick feeling that we’ve lost one. To climb this mountain SA needs not just one batsman to come good (as would be the case with a score around 350-400), but two, and these two are by far our best hope.”
54th over: South Africa 161-2 (Amla 72, De Villiers 37)
First bowling change of the day, as Stuart Broad replaces Finn. Amla plays a slightly curious cut, taking his bottom hand off the bat as it dribbles out to the cover sweeper for a single. Broad goes quite wide on the crease and nearly gets one through the De Villiers gate, but a thickish inside edge is enough for him to survive.
53rd over: South Africa 160-2 (Amla 71, De Villiers 37)
De Villiers unleashes a flood of scoring, nudging a single off Anderson square, before Amla joins in the Stokesian battering by flicking another off his hip. And another two, as De Villiers pushes one into the covers and Amla clips to fine leg. I jest, but this is smart from these two, as they were getting very bogged down, so four ones from the over is good play if only to rotate the strike a bit.
“I watched the Stokes/Bairstow highlights again before play this morning,” writes Robert Wilson. “Felt slightly dirty doing it (for the 4th time). The more you see it, the more it begins to seem rather unkind. I’m beginning to think that Ben Stokes should apologise to the Saffers at the end of his game. I’ll bet you any money that this exacttly what his mum has been telling him. It would be the decent thing to do.”
52nd over: South Africa 156-2 (Amla 69, De Villiers 35)
Finn gets another bit of bounce that causes Amla an issue. He’s bowling very well here, and you’d imagine that he’d be the best of England’s four quicks to deal with the lack of swing out there. Amla just drops his hands to avoid another one with a bit of hop, and another maiden is chalked up. South Africa have scored 14 runs in nine overs this morning, and eight of those runs were in the first over.
Updated
51st over: South Africa 156-2 (Amla 69, De Villiers 35)
Anderson fishes outside off stump to De Villiers, but there’s no bite so far. In fact, he only lays bat on one ball, and that was just a hair outside off stump. One run from the last 29 balls - it’s like watching England 2011.
50th over: South Africa 156-2 (Amla 69, De Villiers 35)
A chance. Possibly. Finn sends down a yorker to De Villiers that he squeezes against his boot, it loops up and lands just short of the bowler’s diving efforts to catch it. If he’d taken that, we probably would’ve been here til next Wednesday as the third umpire worked out if it had hit the ground after his boot. And then almost another chance, as De Villiers makes a frightful hash of a pull that drops a yard or so in front of short mid-wicket. AB looks pretty uncomfortable against Finn, as he’s squared up by a ball on off stump with some extra bounce, and England smell blood. De Villiers gets off strike by squirting a thick edge that is half-stopped by gully, and he’s probably happy to be at the other end.
49th over: South Africa 155-2 (Amla 69, De Villiers 34)
A short cover is now in and there’s no fine leg for Anderson, so maybe that straight line isn’t the way England are going. Amla isn’t tempted by a few balls hung outside off stump, and it’s a second maiden on the bounce.
48th over: South Africa 155-2 (Amla 69, De Villiers 34)
Finn drops short and wide, De Villiers opens his eyes wide and sees a crashing four in his immediate future, but instead nearly serves up the most careless of wickets, cutting straight to Compton at point, but it bounced a foot or so in front of the England dasher. Otherwise, a tidy enough over from Finn is played out sans drama.
47th over: South Africa 155-2 (Amla 69, De Villiers 34)
Oh, hang on a second, Anderson’s overtures have worked - the ball won’t fit through that thing the umpires have that looks like a pair of handcuffs, and a ‘new’ one is called for. Let’s see if this one hoops at all. The early signs aren’t great on that score, as a couple of arrow-straight deliveries are sent down, one of which is flicked for a single of AB’s pads. Cook has brought in a man in that short mid-on, virtually standing on the non-striker’s toes position, so we can assume it’ll be a fairly straight line from Anderson for the most part.
46th over: South Africa 154-2 (Amla 69, De Villiers 33)
Finn continues, but Anderson is continuing the old trick of trying to persuade the umpires that this ball, stubbornly unwilling to move sideways, simply will not do and needs changing. No dice there though. Amla tucks into a leg-stump half-volley like me on a plate of Christmas leftovers, whipping it away to the square leg fence with gusto. Lovely shot, that.
45th over: South Africa 150-2 (Amla 65, De Villiers 33)
Jimmy Anderson is on from t’other end. Amla tucks a single off his knees to bring up the 150, which is a solid enough start until you realise they still trail by 479. Anderson bowls a tight enough line to De Villiers, but as yesterday there’s not a sausage of swing for England’s best bowler.
44th over: South Africa 149-2 (Amla 64, De Villiers 33)
An edge to start with, but all along the ground as De Villiers is squared up a little by a ball of decent length from Finn, it catches the edge and scooches past the right hand of second slip to the boundary for a streaky four. The next four is rather more deliberate, as De Villiers plays a flawless on drive to a full ball on middle stump, and nobody bothers moving as they watch it zip to the ropes.
The players are out, the sun is shining, cricket is about to start. Looks like Steven Finn will bowl the first over for England. Hashim Amla (64) and AB de Villiers (25) are the batsmen.
Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems...
Re catch that Root missed yesterday, didn't pick it up until v late as lost sight against the red sunshades in Castle corner.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) January 4, 2016
There has been, if you can imagine such a thing, cricket worth taking note of in a place outside of Cape Town. Here’s the report from day two of Australia v West Indies at the SCG...
And here’s Ellyse Perry on the impact the Women’s Big Bash could have in Australia...
As elite players in the game you want to be as professional as possible and have every opportunity to continue to develop,” Perry said.
“That’s certainly where the women’s game is heading.
“In a lot of aspects it’s already there. There’s a number of players that are essentially full-time players now.”
A few things from yesterday you may have missed. Here’s Ali Martin on Jonny Bairstow, the man who probably would have taken the headlines were it not for that pesky Stokes fellow...
Bluey is his nickname, of course, passed down from his father, David Bairstow, the former Yorkshire and England wicketkeeper who died when Jonny was eight. The anniversary of that loss is on Tuesday and Jonny’s thoughts were with his old man before picking out his mother, Janet, and his sister, Rebecca, who were among the crackling Newlands crowd.
“I was thinking of my dad, my grandfather, who passed away last year, and my family – that was for those guys,” Bairstow said after stumps. “It’s fantastic to get over the line, not just for myself but for my family as well. Hopefully it will cap off what can be a good game.”
And here is that Stokes fellow, reacting to his thoroughly extraordinary 258.
I will probably never play like this ever again in my life,” said Stokes. “But I’ve done it once, so at least I can say that. I was trying to hit as many boundaries as I could because it was too hot to run.
“I wasn’t thinking of any landmarks as I went along. It’s a cliche but I would rather be involved in a winning team than have good figures. It hasn’t really sunk in yet. Out there emotions were running high and there was quite a lot of adrenaline but at this moment in time I’m pretty tired. It hasn’t all sunk in yet but sure will in a couple of days’ time.”
From an English perspective, it was easy to forget that, among all the magnificent fun of Ben Stokes’s 258 and Jonny Bairstow’s 150*, the tourists would eventually have to bowl on this track, and while posting 629 is terrific, it isn’t a huge amount of use if you can’t take 20 wickets. And so it has proved, with Anderson, Broad et al unable to get much movement on a pitch that most batsman would like to replace their gardens with and tell their kids not to run on.
Still, perhaps it will crumble and deteriorate as the game goes on, and as the sun beats down on Newlands. It’s perfectly possible, and if that happens then England could have some joy. And it’s not as if they’re particularly pressed for time: three days remain and the bowlers are still pretty fresh having had their feet up for (almost) the first five sessions of the match.
Well, all of the bowlers apart from Stokes. Ah, go on then...
Nick will be here shortly. In the meantime, here are some of most destructive England innings that Mike Selvey has seen:
Ian Botham, 149no v Australia, Headingley 1981
The stuff of legend. With England in dire straits and struggling to avoid an innings defeat, Botham’s counterattack, with nothing to lose, turned not only the match on its head but the series. His runs came from 148 balls, giving England a lead and a glimmer. Bob Willis did the rest.
Ben Stokes, 258 v South Africa, Cape Town 2016
England were in trouble at 167 for four when Stokes came to the crease, on a hat-trick. By the time he left, run out, the scoreboard read 622 for six, and Stokes hadhit 30 fours and 11 sixes, an England record. He already holds the second fastest Test century for England, made at Lord’s last summer and now, at 163 balls, he has the second fastest Test double hundred of all time. His sixth-wicket partnership of 399 with Jonny Bairstow is the highest for that wicket in Tests.
Ben Stokes, 101 v New Zealand, Lord’s 2015
When Stokes reached his second Test century from 85 balls, it was the second fastest ever by an England batsman – and the fastest for more than a hundred years, since Gilbert Jessop’s 76-ball hundred. England had been 134 behind on first innings but the nature of Stokes’ hundred turned the game on its head. England went on to win by 124 runs.
Read the full list here:
Updated
