Vic Marks's day one report
Close of play
That was South Africa’s day, no doubt. They bowled really well, with Anrich Nortje outstanding, though they were helped by England’s batsmen getting themselves out when well set. Ben Stokes was the most extreme example; he made a majestic 47 before losing concentration for the first and last time.
Ollie Pope played stylishly to reach 56 not out, and his unbroken last-wicket partnership of 28 with Jimmy Anderson meant that England ended the day on a slightly less dispiriting note. If they bowl well tomorrow, they have a chance of winning the match. If not, they will be 2-0 down early next week.
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89th over: England 262-9 (Pope 56, Anderson 3) Nortje ends the over with a maiden to Pope. We’re one short despite the extra half hour. If only it was 98 overs a day.
“Keep seeing comments about how Pope will have to slog and sacrifice his average because of the collapse,” says Dominic O’Reilly. “As an example, when Thorpe shielded Hoggard against Sri Lanka and they put on 91 he didn’t slog. Second, no one should blame the youngster when the old guard have failed. Or is the 1990s all over again?”
Have you been on social media since ever?
88th over: England 262-9 (Pope 56, Anderson 3) Funnily enough, the situation now demands a few T20 strokes from Pope. After uppercutting Rabada for four, he top-edges a hook and is caught at fine leg by Philander. Scratch that, replays show it was a no-ball.
“The main problem with ‘the era of Stokes/Bairstow/Buttler/Moeen’ is that all of them, by rights, should have been batting at six,” says Andy Shaw. “Trying to play all of them in the same side meant too often that both the batting and the bowling ended up weaker than it should have been.”
Essentially I agree, although I’d argue some of them were 6.5s at best. I think all of us were seduced by style. There’s a decent ‘sixes and sevens’ line in there somewhere, but I can’t quite make it work.
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Michael Holding, while praising Pope’s batting, notes that he hasn’t played for England in “that thing that bowlers bowl four overs in”. Nobody does contempt like Mikey. It’s a shame the ECB marketing department have committed to the Hundred, too. I’d love to see them launch the brave new world of TTTBBFOI.
87th over: England 257-9 (Pope 52, Anderson 3) Nortje returns to the attack. Pope declines a single for his fifty - but he gets there later in the over, clouting Nortje through midwicket for three. It’s his second consecutive half-century, and it’s been a classy, purposeful and selfless innings.
“I saw a lot of players expressed opinions on four-day Tests, and it’s always good to see them expressing their views,” says Andrew Hurley. “However, you’d hope that would come after having achieved something in the longer format. Buttler should concentrate on keeping schtum & improving drastically on his form in a role he doesn’t deserve before pontificating on the future of Test cricket. His role here was get through to the new ball, not score like it was a Twenty20.”
I’m not sure he trusted himself to do that, which is why he got as many as he could against the old ball. I can see both sides. But if Buttler doesn’t get a score or two in this series, they surely have to turn to Foakes in Sri Lanka, especially as he’s such a good player of spin. The era of Stokes/Bairstow/Buttler/Moeen promised so much, but it hasn’t really worked out. Maybe it was the right middle-order at the right time, with the fast-bowling revival and pitches becoming more challenging. They could have scored a lot of runs in the early 2010s. Who knows. I’ll level with you, I haven’t a clue.
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86th over: England 254-9 (Pope 49, Anderson 3) Anderson, who is a better defensive batsman than Broad and should probably be promoted above him, digs out a yorker from Rabada and survives the rest of the over. He even takes two off the fifth delivery.
“Re: over 81,” says Toby Hester. “You say it’s no way to start a Test career, but there’s a noble history of young, English talent blooded in hopeless situations in South Africa. Two for four, anyone?”
Chris Adams didn’t have that great a career, honk honk. But yes, point taken. I was only really referring to the fact he has to farm the strike, and potentially do damage to his average, rather than just being able to bat in a bubble.
85th over: England 252-9 (Pope 49, Anderson 1) Anderson inside-edges his first ball for a single, which allows Pope to take strike. He lifts Philander over mid-off and mid-on for consecutive boundaries, the second a lovely stroke that takes him to 49. On an otherwise dismal day, he has played a really uplifting innings.
“I seem to remember the early days when Broad seemed to be an all-rounder - kind of like Freddie,” says Bill Hargreaves. “Was the tailing off the result of that nose ball? Testimony to the power of confidence, I suppose.”
Yep, Varun Aaron in 2014. He was averaging 24 at that point. It’s hard to be too critical, as it sounds like it was pretty traumatic.
84th over: England 243-9 (Pope 41, Anderson 0) That’s a stunning stroke from Pope. Rabada dug in a bouncer outside leg stump, and Pope - who was originally shaping to sway out of the way - bent his back like a limbo dancer to glide it high over the cordon for four. He takes two off the last ball, a misjudgement that means Anderson will be on strike to Philander.
“If I can dare to look at the positives, Rob: we have a decent 3-6 now, we have a settled opener and two tyros who could come good, and Bairstow is no longer in the team,” says Gareth Wilson. “On the downside - Root can’t captain and it’s starting to feel like Broad or Anderson rather than AND.”
I know what you mean about the middle order, but it’s not exactly Trott, Pietersen, Bell and AN Other (followed by Prior, Bresnan, Swann and Broad 1.0). I fear we are in for years rather than months of this mediocrity. They need a complete reset, as with the ODI team in 2015.
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83rd over: England 235-9 (Pope 33, Anderson 0) It’s been another memorable collapse from England, who have lost five wickets for 50 since Ben Stokes got himself out. And there are plenty more where that came from. Pope gives Anderson two balls to survive, and he manages it. In the last two years, incidentally, Broad has a Test batting average of 8. Once the new Garry Sobers, now the new Glenn McGrath.
82nd over: England 234-9 (Pope 32, Anderson 0) Broad’s bat actually got stuck behind his back pad, although I doubt it made much difference. He was so far back, expecting the short ball, that he almost walked on his stumps.
“If I was Pope, I’d take a 35 not out,” says Kevin Wilson. “He shouldn’t have to bat stupidly because Broad and Anderson literally cannot be bothered to bat anymore.”
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WICKET! England 234-9 (Broad b Rabada 1)
Pope is playing orthodox strokes for the time being, and takes a single off the penultimate delivery of Rabada’s over. That means Broad has one ball to survive. Yeah, nice one. He’s cleaned up by an excellent yorker.
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81st over: England 233-8 (Pope 31, Broad 0) Ollie Pope is now in an impossible position, with only Broad and Anderson left at the other end. He either has to start slogging, and give his wicket away, or face criticism for being selfish. It’s no way to build a Test career, this.
“I’d often thought about finding out where exactly Martin McCague lived in Larne and making a pilgrimage, or even working on getting a blue plaque installed,” says James Butler (see 49th over). Though given Albert Trott was denied one (despite being the only person to clear the Lord’s pavilion) I might need to go down the route of lauding his Guinness-related achievements, rather than his cricket...”
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WICKET! England 231-8 (Bess c de Kock b Philander 0)
One ball, that’s all Philander needed with the second new ball. That was almost comically straightforward. Bess walked into a wide outswinger, which he didn’t need to play, and snicked it through to de Kock.
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80th over: England 231-7 (Pope 30, Bess 0) A maiden from Maharaj to Pope. It’s time for the second new ball.
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79th over: England 231-7 (Pope 30, Bess 0) 260, 517-1 dec., 620-5 dec., 187, 123, 513, 644. Did they even exist?
“Good thought about Adams keeping,” says Pete Salmon. “I just feel that popping up to Formby to get Tatenda Taibu’s signature might be easier than getting the prime minister of Pakistan’s. Then again, given the bloody trains...”
WICKET! England 231-7 (Curran b Pretorius 9)
Oh dear. The ball after lacing a drive for four, Curran offers no stroke to a good ball from Pretorius that jags back to hit the top of off. I told you he should have kept on counter-attacking.
78th over: England 227-6 (Pope 30, Curran 5) I fear Curran is getting a little carried away with counter-attacking. In his brilliant 2018, he averaged 37 in Tests with a healthy strike-rate of 58. In 2019, his average was 21 and his strike-rate 77. That’s far too skittish.
77th over: England 225-6 (Pope 29, Curran 4) Curran gets off the mark with an inside edge past leg stump for four. Although England’s score is under par, they certainly aren’t out of this game. South Africa will have to bat last on a pitch that is already a bit cracked, and you’d expect Anderson and Broad to utilise the cross-seam delivery like South Africa. They really need to get to 300, though.
76th over: England 221-6 (Pope 29, S Curran 0) For all the, a-hem, imperfections in England’s batting, South Africa have bowled ever so well in this series. They have a lovely, balanced attack, with four very different right-arm seamers and an excellent spinner.
75th over: England 221-6 (Pope 29, S Curran 0) The new batsman is Sam Curran. He has been a little frisky with the bat of late.
“Lovely work by Russell Jackson re: the bat,” says Pete Salmon. “Just wanting to know if I’m the only cricket tragic who immediately tried to work out the batting order of the signatories. Which I think is Gavaskar, Taylor, Chappell, Richards, Hughes, Yallop, Adams, wicket-keeper, Greig, Benaud and Walsh. Obviously a keeper who can bowl a bit would be useful, and the fact he has to have been captain makes the choice obvious, Zimbabwe’s Tatenda Taibu, wicket keeper, captain, and 25 first class wickets. I think whoever buys the bat should pledge to get that signature. Now playing for Formby, so eminently possible.”
Or Jimmy Adams could keep wicket, which would make room for the prime minster of Pakistan. Heckuva tail, too: Benaud at No10.
WICKET! England 221-6 (Buttler c de Kock b Pretorius 29)
Buttler’s exciting cameo of 29 from 27 balls is over. He walked down the pitch and thin-edged a very good delivery from Pretorius through to de Kock. That’s a big bonus for South Africa with the new ball only a few overs away. It also means five England players have been dismissed between 29 and 47, which is not good on a first-day pitch.
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74th over: England 215-5 (Pope 29, Buttler 23) “Rob,” says Chris Mellor. “On the subject of Ben Stokes’ tattoos, one says, ‘Being the best that you can be is only possible if you desire to be a champion and your fear of failure is non-existent’. The other arm says, ‘May people respect you. Trouble neglect you. Angels protect you. Heaven accept you’.”
Extra cover catch you. Actually, we shouldn’t be too critical because he is still one of the best things in life right now. It’s just frustrating that he keeps making brilliant - and they really are that good, until the moment of dismissal - thirties and forties.
73rd over: England 214-5 (Pope 29, Buttler 22) Dwaine Pretorius returns for a short spell before the second new ball. Pope drives pleasantly for a couple and then edges along the ground for four. Time for drinks.
“Hi Rob,” says Mark Berkeley. “Surely we’re missing the influence of Robert Ryman on Big Vern. A master in white whose variations are so subtle as to be unnoticeable until you’re up close, by which time you’re dazzled.”
I feel so damn ignorant right now.
72nd over: England 208-5 (Pope 23, Buttler 22) Buttler waves Maharaj lazily over mid-on for six to move to 22 from 14 balls. That went into a construction site, in fact.
71st over: England 202-5 (Pope 23, Buttler 16) This is another ferocious spell from Nortje. He’s more than just a big, dumb quick, as he showed in the first innings at Centurion. It’s only his third Test, so we shouldn’t get carried away, but he looks like a serious prospect at first-change. England are really struggling to handle him. He’s taken care of Root and Stokes, and Pope almost falls in that over when he edges a drive short of second slip.
70th over: England 202-5 (Pope 23, Buttler 16) Buttler premeditates a sweep for four off Maharaj. It looks England are going to try to get as many as they can before the second new ball. And why not? I’ll tell you why not, because they might bloody throw it away! Buttler almost does so when he is dropped by the debutant Malan at silly mid-off. It was a difficult low chance, and it went through his fingertips.
I forgot to post this at tea. Please look at this.
Att cricket fans: I’m trying to find extra ways of donating money to bushfire relief, and have decided to auction this bat signed by 10 Test captains. I’ll send it to the highest bidder via replies to this tweet by the end of the Test. Details attached. Cheers! pic.twitter.com/uPutoaxgPG
— Russell Jackson (@rustyjacko) January 3, 2020
69th over: England 196-5 (Pope 22, Buttler 11) Buttler smacks Nortje for a couple of boundaries. The first was pinged through the covers, the second flicked off middle and leg stump as he moved across the crease. That was a weird stroke, certainly for somebody facing his fifth ball on day one of a Test. Pace gets the beans going, as Nasser Hussain says, and Nortje regularly bowls over 90mph.
With Curran and Bess to come, Buttler should have the chance to build an innings properly rather than
“Hi Rob,” says Paul Birrell. “I like the idea of bringing Bairstow back into this England team (37th over) as an opening bat, as a counterpoint to Sibley and Denly. Do you think it might even work to switch him into keeping wicket at the drop of the opposition’s eighth wicket to allow some time to get his eye in and assess any demons that may lie in the pitch? Is this the kind of rotation of which you may approve?”
I think that’s too funky, even for a slap-bass champion like me. As for Bairstow, he needs a long break, not two Tests. I’d give him the whole summer with Yorkshire (and the ODI team). I wouldn’t write him off completely, because he has the ability to get big runs in Australia in 2021-22, but at the moment he’s a complete mess.
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68th over: England 187-5 (Pope 22, Buttler 2) KP, commentating on Sky, is effusive in his praise of Ollie Pope: “Ian Bell clone ... love his intensity ... very good player ... technically sound ... the sky’s the limit.”
67th over: England 186-5 (Pope 22, Buttler 1) It’s hard to convey how beautifully Stokes played for his 47 runs, but that was a really poor shot. It was the same in the first innings at Centurion. Though he is England’s best batsman by a distance, his lack of concentration and ruthlessness are so frustrating. For a superhero, he has almost been a bit of a klutz.
WICKET! England 185-5 (Stokes c Elgar b Nortje 47)
Stokes has thrown it away. He does this far too often for a player of his class. He tried to drive Nortje and got a slight leading edge to extra cover, where Dean Elgar took a tumbling catch.
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66th over: England 184-4 (Stokes 47, Pope 21) Stokes played a majestic stroke earlier in the over, pulling Maharaj wristily for four.
“Hi Rob,” says Geoff Wignall. “Re: the suggestion that Root was angry because wasn’t ready for his dismissal ball and assuming no external distractions (crowd movement, field changes, nose picking umpire or whatever) then surely:
a) that’s his own fault;
b) that’s his own fault, and
c) that’s his own fault.
“It was hardly a case of knocking it back to a spinner, still on the crease, who then takes two strides and bowls unexpectedly.”
Well, I should say that we don’t know for certain he complained. But I do think that generally – more as a captain than batsman, to be fair – he has become dangerously fond of rationalising failure. It’s always going to be different next time.
Pope survives! It was umpire’s call. He pushed around a delivery from Maharaj that pitched on middle and leg and straightened to hit the pad. It was given not out on the field by Kumar Dharmasena – and that was ultimately decisive, even though replays showed it was hitting a fair chunk of leg stump.
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South Africa review for LBW against Pope! This looks close but I reckon it will be umpire’s call.
65th over: England 178-4 (Stokes 42, Pope 20) The impressive Anrich Nortje returns to the attack. That means a different type of interrogation for Pope - and he almost sings like a canary after only two balls! He was beaten for pace and clunked a pull just over the head of Philander mid-on.
Stokes then does well to drop a nasty lifter to the turf, and even better to flash the next ball through the covers for four. That brings up an excellent fifty partnership from 104 balls. I suspect they will be many of those between Stokes and Pope in the next five years; they have a really nice chemistry at the crease.
64th over: England 172-4 (Stokes 37, Pope 19) Maharaj is teasing Stokes with subtle variations of flight, pace and line. Stokes takes his medicine for five balls - and then walks down to belt the most emphatic six over long-on. Brilliant batting. If Stokes had the concentration and ruthlessness of Steve Smith, he’d average 55 in Test cricket.
63rd over: England 166-4 (Stokes 31, Pope 19) A maiden from Philander to Pope.
“Following on from James Byrne (59th over),” begins David Murray, “how is it that Philander is so deadly with the Kookaburra but our Jimmy Anderson usually so ineffective with it.”
I would disagree that Jimmy is ineffective. Much of it is familiarity – including practise, Philander will have bowled tens of thousands more overs with it. He also relies more on seam, where swing is Anderson’s biggest weapon. But the success of Philander, and England’s 85mph attack in the 2010-11 Ashes, does show that it’s not all about pace with the Kookaburra.
62nd over: England 166-4 (Stokes 31, Pope 19) Stokes against Maharaj is always a good contest. Stokes is ahead on points, but Maharaj nailed him in victories at Trent Bridge in 2017 and Centurion last week. He’s a crafty spinner who demands respect, probably South Africa’s best spinner since readmission. And though Stokes is clearly keen to attack in that over, Maharaj’s variety keeps him creasebound. A maiden.
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61st over: England 166-4 (Stokes 31, Pope 19) Four more to Pope, timed sweetly through midwicket off Philander. He plays with such confidence for somebody who only turned 22 yesterday. In fact he’s the most exciting young England batsman I’ve seen since, okay, Haseeb Hameed.
“Root pulls this ‘I’m not ready’ stunt far too often,’ says Gary Naylor. “It’s his job to be ready. What is he standing there for?”
He keeps losing focus because he’s trying to work out how four-day Test cricket is going to work. We never manage 90 overs a day, so let’s see if we can do 98.
60th over: England 161-4 (Stokes 30, Pope 15) England have started positively after tea, Pope in particular, and they take three singles from Maharaj’s over.
“Thumbs up for both Adrian Armstrong’s Philander/Barnett Newman comparison (51st over) and of his excellent art-geek pun,” says Sam Collier. “Almost enough to take my mind of the impending apocalypse.”
59th over: England 158-4 (Stokes 28, Pope 14) Vernon Philander’s second ball seams beautifully past Pope’s outside edge. Pope snapped his head round to follow the ball, which can be a sign that a batsman has edged it, but there was no appeal and nothing on UltraEdge. Pope’s response is classy and authoratitive, a push-drive to the extra-cover boundary off the next delivery. A pair of twos complete an excellent over. He’s got something, this kid, there’s no point denying it for fear of cursing his entire career and life.
“I admit I’m not a religious follower of all OBOs (yes, yes, I’ll do my penance later ...) so I can’t believe I’m the first person to think and ask this question,” begins James Byrne. “But if the Kookaburra ball is so bad for bowlers, then why do England still get bowled out for nothing all around the world, and have done since, well, forever?”
That’s a dissertation idea, not an OBO email. There are a few reasons: pace, familiarity with the ball and conditions (for bowlers and batsmen), quality spin, reverse swing and England’s inability to bat time. It hasn’t always been thus, though: the 2010-11 Ashes winners, for example, batted 150 overs or more in four of their seven innings. Ultimately it comes down to the fact that this England team are rough-track bullies.
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58th over: England 150-4 (Stokes 28, Pope 6) Maharaj starts after tea to Pope, who shovels the fifth ball off the pads for a single. He has started positively, as is his wont, but the bowling has been so accurate that he has only been able to make six from 29 balls.
“Does anyone know what all that writing tattooed on Ben Stokes says?” asks Max Bonnell. “I’d like to think it’s wise old northern maxims like, ‘Don’t cut before lunch on the first day’ or, ‘If you think the score looks good, add two wickets’, but perhaps not.”
I think one of them is Latin for ‘FOOTBALL KILLS’.
Root’s radge “Root was really upset when given out, possibly because he didn’t think he was ready and the bowler started his run early,” says John Starbuck. “In fairness, SA might claim that they thought England were taking too much time out of the game with delaying tactics, hence perhaps a bit of a hurry-up. Nobody seems to have been properly sporting about it, which is not nice.”
Teatime teasers
Tea
That was another good session for South Africa. They picked up two Joes for the price of one, with both Root and Denly out in the thirties after promising starts, and England will have to bat pretty well to make a par score on what looks a pretty good pitch.
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57th over: England 149-4 (Stokes 28, Pope 5) Stokes ends the afternoon session with a loose and unusual stroke, fiddling Rabada between second slip and gully for four. That’s the kindf of shot Root normally plays. He’s still there, which is the main thing for England, and will resume after tea.
56th over: England 143-4 (Stokes 22, Pope 5) South Africa have always loved a defensive fourth seamer, and the early impression is that Pretorious is fit for that particular purpose. He continues to hammer a tight line to Pope, who can’t pierce the inner ring. Another maiden, Pretorius’s fifth in seven overs.
“In fairness,” says my colleague Daniel Harris, “there’s probably no one in the world who’s given playing left-arm spin more thought than KP.”
And Daniel would know, having ghost-written the definitive insight into the mind of a genius.
55th over: England 143-4 (Stokes 22, Pope 5) There are only a few minutes to tea, so England aren’t taking any risks. The result is a maiden from Rabada to Stokes.
“The right-handed openers was also on Cricinfo this morning,” says Chris Evans. “In 2016 against Sri Lanka Cook had to bat down the order, so Hales and Compton opened. As for ODIs - Bairstow and Roy.”
I KNOW IT WAS BAIRSTOW AND ROY, FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, IT WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST DAYS OF MY SO-CALLED LIFE! Ah yes, I’d forgotten about that Cook injury. The memory on you!
54th over: England 143-4 (Stokes 22, Pope 5) Dwaine Pretorius replaces the impressive Maharaj. And as is often the case when he bowls, nothing much happens.
“According to TalkSport2, Rabada made a special journey across the pitch to wish Root a happy new year on his way off, and Joe reacted by having a long chunter at the square-leg umpire followed by more chuntering in the dugout,” says Tom Adam. “Did you see anything?”
I didn’t, but it wouldn’t surprise me. There has always been a bit of needle between them.
53rd over: England 142-4 (Stokes 21, Pope 5) Stokes times a beautiful check drive through extra cover for four off Rabada. He is playing superbly.
Ping @TimdeLisle https://t.co/QU4kWTZ7wn
— Bob O'Hara (@BobOHara) January 3, 2020
52nd over: England 135-4 (Stokes 16, Pope 3) Pope gets off the mark with a confident stroke, dancing down the track to clip Maharaj through mid-on for three. He should, fitness permitting, get an extended run in the team over the next 12-18 months.
“Spot on Rob, well done!” says Steve Castle of his quiz question in the 50th over. “I got it, but only after basically listing England cricketers who are now pundits.”
I knew that year on the Wisden Diet would pay off one day.
51st over: England 131-4 (Stokes 15, Pope 0) Stokes is beaten by a beauty from Rabada that lifts extravagantly outside off stump, but slams an emphatic pull for four later in the over. He looks good. He always looks good these days, and the only things he lacks as a Test batsman are concentration and ruthlessness.
Shaun Pollock, commentating on Sky, notes that South Africa have bowled a lot of cross-seam deliveries in an attempt to get some variable bounce, including the Nortje snorter that dismissed Root.
“Surely Philander is Barnett Newman (25th over)?” says Adrian Armstrong. “The foremost exponent of wicket-to-wicket Abstract Expressionism. Newman maybe had more zip than Philander, though.”
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50th over: England 127-4 (Stokes 11, Pope 0) Pope has started watchfully against Maharaj, who is bowling with challenging accuracy. Another maiden.
“I’m currently battling with an absolute belter of a trivia question sent by a mate to torment/entertain me through the rest of this day...” says Steve Castle. “When did England last field two right-handed opening batsmen and who were they?”
We were chatting about this earlier. In a Test, I think it was Rob Key and Michael Vaughan at Headingley in 2002. In a one-day international, no idea.
49th over: England 127-4 (Stokes 11, Pope 0) Rabada replaces Nortje, who blew the bloody doors off the England innings with that spell to Denly and Root, and starts with a maiden to Stokes. England have a bit more batting to come than in the first Test, with Dom Bess at No9, but they are still in a precarious position. While I don’t think the pitch is quite the belter some have suggested, England will want at least 350.
“Happy new year - and hello from sunny Larne, Northern Ireland,” says James Butler. “A New Year’s quiz question for you...what is the connection between Larne and Test cricket?”
I’ve waited my whole cricket-writing life for somebody to ask that question. I’m in tears over here.
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48th over: England 127-4 (Stokes 11, Pope 0) This, I’m here to tell you, is not a 127 for four pitch. Ollie Pope is the new batsman, and that’s good news for lovers of the future.
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WICKET! England 127-4 (Denly b Maharaj 37)
Groundhog Denly. A solid start to the innings, with loads to admire, and then a soft dismissal for a nothing score. He pushed defensively outside the line at an arm ball from Maharaj that went through the gate and pegged back the off stump. Ach!
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47th over: England 125-3 (Denly 37, Stokes 10) Stokes tries to pull Nortje but is beaten for pace and hit on the bicep. Or biceps, I forget what we decided during the last Test. Denly plays a more confident pull for a single. He is back in the nervous nothingscores. Only three of his 22 Test innings have ended in single figures; only three have exceeded 53.
“I’m sure I’m not the only one who’ll find it ironic,” says Mike Daniels, “that Kevin Pietersen is giving advice on how to play left-arm spin.”
Next up: KP on the joy of self-awareness.
46th over: England 120-3 (Denly 33, Stokes 9) Maharaj continues, two from the over, blah blah blah. More Nortje to Stokes please!
Joe Root is a Picasso just now @TimdeLisle. The head is where the chest should be and his eyes are round the back and vertical, not horizontal. Getting in and then getting bounced out is not a good look for a man of his experience.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) January 3, 2020
True, although even Virat was bounced out by Shannon Gabriel last year. He wasn’t in, I suppose.
45th over: England 118-3 (Denly 32, Stokes 8) Stokes is not the same hyper-aggressive batsman who slaughtered 258 on this ground, but there is still scope for a bit of testosterone cricket when he faces Nortje. After a single earlier in the over, he crunches a drive through Philander at mid-off for four. Have some popcorn to hand, just in case.
44th over: England 111-3 (Denly 31, Stokes 2) A quiet over from Maharaj, one from it. But he rushes through the over so that we can all get another hit of Nortje.
“I remember Boycs dismissing Denly earlier this year on TMS with words to the effect of ‘just James Vince with a better brain’,” says Name Redacted. “Surely that’s not a bad old thing to be? I’m probably giving him the kiss of death, but I’m desperate for Denly to do well. Seems a good bloke.”
He does. There’s an honesty and equanimity to his post-play interviews, not to mention a resourcefulness to his batting, that is very likeable. I think he’s a modern-day David Steele. He hasn’t made as many runs as Steele, but he’s played on much tougher pitches and, like Steele, has dealt with some ferocious pace attacks. I plan to keep banging on about The Pretty Boy Who Went To War until it starts trending alongside WWIII.
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Thanks Tim, hello everyone. Happy new decade! It’ll be different this time, you know it won’t. England were threatening to start the new year by making 400 in the first innings for the second time in three Tests, but a spectacular spell of fast bowling from Anrich Nortje has made that less likely. He bounced out Joe Root, who was playing like the old Joe Root, and has also hit Joe Denly on the head. We shouldn’t get too excited about anything, given that ‘WWIII’ trending, but Nortje is a revelation.
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43rd over: England 110-3 (Denly 31, Stokes 1) Stokes, England’s best batsman in 2019, opens his account for 2020 with a pull for a single, from outside off. And that’s drinks, with South Africa on top and England in an all too familiar posture: teetering. Time for me to hand over to Rob Smyth. Thanks for your company, your comments and especially your art expertise.
42nd over: England 109-3 (Denly 31, Stokes 0) Maharaj continues to Denly, who picks up four from a leg glance. Kevin Pietersen, commentating, is not happy with Denly’s technique against the spinner. “He’s only going forward, so he’s got nowhere else to score but there. He needs to go into the nets with his captain.” First, though, he needs to hang in there and make the hundred that was beckoning to Root.
41st over: England 105-3 (Denly 27, Stokes 0) The dropped catch will be chalked down to van der Dussen, at first slip, but it was more the fault of de Kock, who shaped to go for it, then stopped. So he was mighty pleased to snaffle Root a couple of balls later. Keeper and first slip ended up in each other’s arms.
Wicket! Root c de Kock b Nortje 35 (England 105-3)
The big one! Nortje’s pace makes all the difference as he has Root dropped at first slip, then caught behind fending unhappily at a bouncer. What a blow for England – Root was in his best form for ages, scoring much faster than anyone else today.
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40h over: England 101-2 (Denly 27, Root 31) Maharaj gets just enough turn to lure Denly into a leading edge, but he’s got his weight over the ball and it doesn’t pop up.
Time for a little more art. “Hi Tim,” says Tom Morgan. “I’m in the Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam.” Classy. “The old Flemish/Dutch masters have superlative techniques and get better over time. So, the exact opposite of Bairstow.” Harsh but funny.
39th over: England 101-2 (Denly 27, Root 31) A dab to third man by Root brings up the hundred (dread words). The average first-day score at this ground is 280-8 and England are on course for that. The trouble is, they always have a collapse up their sleeve. Denly is rapped on the helmet by Nortje, ducking into a lowish bouncer, so there’s a delay for a concussion check, but he seems fine.
38th over: England 99-2 (Denly 27, Root 30) Root sweeps Maharaj for four, then sweeps again, and gets away with a top edge as fortune favours the bold. From memory, that’s his first false shot since he got off the mark.
“Whisper it,” says Sachin Paul, “but this Joe Denly bloke certainly looks the part, doesn’t he? With Burns and him doing their best impressions of Cook and Trott, do you think it’s worth a punt asking the aggressive Bairstow to open and have fun at the top? We tried it with Roy but an in-form Bairstow is several leagues of class above Roy.” Good point – Silverwood’s preference for blockers at the top of the order doesn’t suit this England team. And the answer might even be Roy, who still has it in him to do a David Warner.
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37th over: England 94-2 (Denly 27, Root 25) England have seen off Philander for the moment. They celebrate by cashing in against Nortje – a two and a three to Root, a two to the reborn Denly.
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36th over: England 87-2 (Denly 25, Root 20) Hallelujah! After four more dots, to make 48 in a row, Denly gets a freebie from Maharaj. It’s short, it’s wide, and it’s cut for four as if the previous 48 balls had never happened. If he doesn’t quite make the grade as a Test cricketer, it won’t be for lack of a good temperament.
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35th over: England 82-2 (Denly 21, Root 19) Same old story: one to Root, none to Denly, whose frustration shows, off the last ball of the over, as he nearly chips Philander to mid-off.
Still, he has a fan in Abhijato Sensarma. “Unexpectedly called up to the Test side with the USP of being a part-time leggie. Widely criticised after their first few outings, but teams stuck by them and now they’ve secured the No3 spot for themselves. Is Joe Denly the poor man’s Labuschagne?”
34th over: England 81-2 (Denly 21, Root 18) Another brisk single to Root, pushing Maharaj into the covers, but Denly has become alarmingly becalmed. He plays out five dots, which makes at least 29 in a row now.
33rd over: England 80-2 (Denly 21, Root 17) Another single to Root, with a glance, or possibly inside edge, off Philander, who’s been exacting, as ever.
Time to resume the art class. “Philander, strictly speaking,” says Jeff Docherty, “is more of a minimalist in the Sol LeWitt mode, his trick was the subtle variations in line and length.... for the uninitiated, he just drew long flowing lines on walls!”
32nd over: England 79-2 (Denly 21, Root 16) Root, staying positive, sweeps Maharaj for a single.
Catching up with some correspondence, I find this from Guy Hornsby, just before lunch. “Morning Tim, happy new year. I want to say this is turning into a better session for England but such is the jinx potential I’m just going to say we’re only a few balls away from digging ourselves a mighty hole. I actually quite like this XI, but once you remove the two elder statesmen from the attack, it looks worryingly thin. With Wood not yet back, Stone injured, Roland-Jones a seeming past tense, where’s the next in the dynasty, Archer aside? Curran is a fighter, but he’d be flayed in Australia too, Woakes ineffective away from home. Yours, A Pessimist.” Ha. My impression is that the kids are all right – there’s plenty of raw pace around the counties. Point taken, though, about the near future. England badly need the Archer of last summer, and the Wood of that one great day in the Caribbean, to take the baton from Broad and Anderson.
31st over: England 78-2 (Denly 21, Root 15) Root is in the mood. He eases Philander to the boundary with that trademark back-foot drive, which prompts Faf to post a cover sweeper, surely an over-reaction at this stage. Root then dabs for a quick single, so he has 15 off 19 balls. Mind you, Sibley and Denly both got off to quick starts before becoming bogged down.
30th over: England 73-2 (Denly 21, Root 10) Maharaj continues, after that mouthwatering last ball before lunch. He drops marginally short and Root plays a beautiful late cut. Never mind Denly, Root is England’s best candidate for a hundred today, even in the rather mediocre form of the past year.
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29th over: England 68-2 (Denly 21, Root 5) Root is watchful, as he should be, but after a few blocks he gets a single with that back-foot force of his, thanks to a half-stop at backward point. Philander then lures Denly into a play and a miss. There’s a long way to go to 300, never mind 400.
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The players are back out there, a little late it seems, and England are about to face a stern examination: another spell from Philander, who was uncharacteristically expensive this morning (6-2-13-1).
“What’s a par score?” asks Gary Naylor. “The commentators are determined to tell us that it’s a good batting pitch, but it’s doing plenty already in the air and off the seam and now it’s turning too. I’d be happy with 300 here and a chase of 150+ in the fourth innings will be tough.” Agreed, though Joe Root will surely be hoping for 400. His attack looks the more toothless of the two, unless Anderson can scrape off the rust and match Philander leg-cutter for leg-cutter. This ground should inspire him: it’s where Anderson once swung the ball round corners, at pace, to rip through Pakistan’s top order. I was there with my nine-year-old son, who’s now a grown man of 25. Jimmy, then a 20-year-old tearaway, is now an old lag of 37, but he surely has one last hurrah in him.
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We interrupt this break to bring you a good cause. “Happy new year from Accra, enjoying your blog,” says my colleague Daniel Harris. “Would you mind sticking this in when you’ve a sec please?” Not at all. Those poor Aussies: dreadful fires and, it seems from here, a useless prime minister. Not that a Pom can be at all smug on that front.
28th over: England 67-2 (Denly 21, Root 4) Faf goes back to spin for the last over of the morning. Maharaj is accurate but not remotely threatening until the last ball, which turns enough to beat Denly’s forward lunge, and may have Dom Bess dreaming of glory in the fourth innings. That’s lunch, with South Africa on top, but England hanging in there after going in with a hopelessly inexperienced opening pair. Time for some fresh air and my morning ritual, a trip to the newsagent. Yes, I know it’s old-school.
27th over: England 67-2 (Denly 21, Root 4) Scrub that – Root isn’t settling yet. The first ball of Rabada’s over, short and angled in, raps him on the sternum as he makes an unwise, and uncharacteristic, decision to duck. The second, much fuller, beats him outside off. But when Rabada goes short again, Root finds himself with his favourite back-foot punch. That’s a fine recovery.
26th over: England 63-2 (Denly 21, Root 0) Yet another maiden from Pretorius, as Denly gives Joe Root a chance to settle in at the non-striker’s end.
25th over: England 63-2 (Denly 21, Root 0) Credit to Faf du Plessis there, for bringing Rabada back, at the other end. And perhaps some grudging credit to Pretorius for drying up the runs.
Meanwhile Sam Collier (20th over) is back for more. “But on a less snarky note, I would have Philander as a Frank Stella (early period) – precise, repeating, minimal and whose work is brought to life with just enough subtle variation.” Only on the OBO.
Wicket! Sibley c de Kock b Rabada 34 (England 63-2)
Sibley plays and misses as he fences at a short one outside off, then instantly repeats the error, getting a nick this time. England’s next injury may come from a young man kicking himself.
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24th over: England 61-1 (Sibley 32, Denly 21) Pretorius is still looking to bore the batsmen out, and the boring bit is working: his figures are 4-2-5-0.
23rd over: England 61-1 (Sibley 32, Denly 21) Rabada replaces Nortje and immediately has Sibley wafting outside off. It would be a comfortable catch for a fourth slip, but it goes to gully’s left, away for four. That’s Sibley’s highest Test score – the second of the day, following Crawley’s triumphant 4 – and also the fifty partnership. Sibley is then beaten outside off, but he survives. In county cricket, he is good at converting 30 into 230, but can he do it on the big stage?
22nd over: England 57-1 (Sibley 28, Denly 21) At the other end, Pretorius is pitching it up, because de Kock is standing up to the stumps, so du Plessis has found a way of creating contrasting challenges. Denly plays out a maiden.
21st over: England 57-1 (Sibley 28, Denly 21) After a single off his hip from Denly, Nortje electts to go round the wicket to make something happen to Sibley. And something does happen – a bouncer goes for four byes as the ball trampolines over the keeper.
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20th over: England 52-1 (Sibley 28, Denly 20) Some action at last as Pretorius bowls just where Sibley likes it, on his legs, and is clipped for four. That’s the fifty up, and England would have taken it with only one wicket down.
“Morning Tim!” Morning, Sam Collier. “09:26 – Sandy Fyfe very much marking himself out as the Geoffrey Boycott of art criticism there.”
19th over: England 47-1 (Sibley 24, Denly 19) Denly pulls Nortje, but only gets a single. The game has gone to sleep, which seems a little premature.
Paul Speller is back with a riposte to my point from the 15th over. “If it’s a concern that Parkinson was expensive in warm-up that caused him to be overlooked in favour of someone who was not in original squad, didn’t a certain Mr Warne take something like 1-150 on debut? Not comparing, but if Warne had been playing under a set-up like England’s he’d have probably been discarded with immediate effect, never to return.” That is perfectly possible.
18th over: England 46-1 (Sibley 24, Denly 18) Faf decides that the Maharaj ploy isn’t paying off and brings on Dwaine Pretorius for some military medium. He starts with a maiden to Sibley, who, after that busy start, has only seven off his last 31 balls.
17th over: England 46-1 (Sibley 24, Denly 18) Denly uses Nortje’s pace and bounce to glance for four to fine leg’s right. He’s started more briskly than usual, which bodes well for that elusive hundred.
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16th over: England 42-1 (Sibley 24, Denly 14) Yet another one-run over, as Maharaj settles into a groove.
15th over: England 41-1 (Sibley 24, Denly 13) Another over, another nudge for a single. Nortje seems to be pronounced Norkia, is that right? Like the Queen telling you her preferred brand of phone.
On Twitter, Paul Speller isn’t happy. “Treatment of Matt Parkinson is shocking, esp as Eng camp, in traditional style, have been leaking plan for days. Selecting a not yet fit quick for tour not v clever, either.” Fair point about Wood, and yes some sympathy for Parkinson, but with Woakes unwell and the tail flopping at Centurion, Bess’s batting is clearly needed.
14th over: England 40-1 (Sibley 24, Denly 12) du Plessis turns to spin, in the shape of Keshav Maharaj, probably because Sibley gave him that return catch in the first Test. Denly strokes a single past the bowler and Sibley gets a gift on his pads, which he duly flicks for four. That’s drinks, with honours evenish but England doing not too badly, all things considered.
13th over: England 35-1 (Sibley 20, Denly 11) A rest for Philander as Nortje comes on. He is quicker but less threatening, and Sibley picks up two more with a push into the covers. He’s getting a taste for the off side now.
12th over: England 33-1 (Sibley 18, Denly 11) A single to Sibley, nudging off his pads.
“It occurs to me,” says Sandy Fyfe, “if Philander is an artist, as you suggest in the 7th over, he would be an elegant impressionist whose quality and skills stand the test of time and are obvious for all to see. A Monet perhaps? Or Degas?
“Jonny Bairstow on the other hand would be Martin Creed, unashamedly trying to pass off crumpled up pieces of paper as art. A bit like he has tried to pass off his batting technique as Test standard for some time now!” Know what you mean, but Bairstow’s technique was good enough to make him a successful Test player for a few years. Then he started missing straight balls in Tests – while lording it in one-day cricket and the County Championship. You’d think that a good batting coach would be itching to work with him.
11th over: England 32-1 (Sibley 17, Denly 11) Denly decides to stand outside his crease to cut down on Philander’s movement away from the bat. Philander tries a bouncer to push him back, but Denly is ready for it and hooks, authoritatively, for four. Good contest.
10th over: England 28-1 (Sibley 17, Denly 7) A nudge for a single by Denly off Rabada, and a row of dots for Sibley, who deals easily with a rare bouncer.
“Good morning,” says Damian Ainsworth. “Just tuned in, noticed Bairstow’s absence and am left wondering how the Guardian’s OBO warriors will occupy their time without him to discuss (criticise). Root’s captaincy perhaps? Yours, a cussed Yorkshireman.” Ha. So do you believe Root is a good captain?
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9th over: England 27-1 (Sibley 17, Denly 6) In his first Test innings at Mount Maunganui, Sibley made 22 without troubling the scorers once on the off side. But now he manages to hit a cover drive for four, off Philander of all people. Maybe he’s less limited than he looked in New Zealand. He’s certainly been positive today, making his 17 off only 25 balls.
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8th over: England 23-1 (Sibley 13, Denly 6) This time Denly’s square drive is a touch later, which takes it away to cover’s left, for four. He gets a couple more in the same direction with more of a prod. After all those solid fifties, today would be a great day to get his first Test hundred.
“I’ve just woken up to see the line-up,” says Adam Levine, “and with all these callow batsmen and medium pacers, it feels like I’ve had a bump on the head and come to in some sort of 90s cricketing equivalent of Life on Mars, with Chris Silverwood in the attack rather than the dressing room. I’m half expecting to see Jason Gallian opening and Mark Lathwell and Hugh Morris jog to the crease at some point. Hoping to see Martin McCague come into the attack and also hoping that the ‘new Botham’, Ronnie Irani, lives up to the hype. All soundtracked by Supergrass and the Fugees natch. Have fun OBO’ing this impending train wreck of a Test match.”
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7th over: England 17-1 (Sibley 13, Denly 0) Philander offers a rare freebie and Sibley helps himself to a clip through square leg to move into double figures. Irritated, Philander beats his outside edge with a lovely leg-cutter, then beats his inside edge with the nip-backer into the pads. The man is an artist.
6th over: England 13-1 (Sibley 9, Denly 0) Joe Denly, a spectator so far, faces a full over from Rabada, and it’s a good contest. Rabada is more accurate and Denly, as is his wont at the start of a Test innings, is obdurate. He does produce one elegant square drive, but it goes straight to the man at cover point.
5th over: England 13-1 (Sibley 9, Denly 0) Sibley plays out a maiden from Philander, who has picked up precisely where he left off at Centurion. His figures are 3-2-1-1, while Rabada has 2-0-12-0.
4th over: England 13-1 (Sibley 9, Denly 0) And now Sibley edges Rabada, through the gap at fourth slip, for four. Hard to see why Faf du Plessis hasn’t gone for a full cordon.
3rd over: England 8-1 (Sibley 4, Denly 0) These teams are a funny mixture of old and young, and in that over Philander’s experience easily overpowered Crawley’s youthful promise – helped by a fine diving catch from another senior player, Quinton de Kock. And England’s decision to go with Crawley over Jonny Bairstow has backfired already.
“Optimism?” says Colum Farrelly. “This is really a variation on Tom van der Gucht’s second reason [8:31]. England play awful rubbish when they’re cocky. This team won’t be afflicted by arrogance and will focus admirably. (I hope I’m not too late with this, and they’re 0-2 after 1 over.)” Not far off.
Wicket! Crawley c de Kock b Philander 4 (England 8-1)
Nerveless or not, Crawley’s missed a couple outside off and now he nicks one, coming down with a crooked bat as Philander finds that immaculate outswinger of his. Shame.
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2nd over: England 8-0 (Crawley 4, Sibley 4) Kagiso Rabada goes very full to Crawley, who leaves one tempting half-volley outside off, then pushes the next into the covers for a comfy three. Dom Sibley gets off the mark as Rabada stays full and strays onto the pads, the one place where you don’t bowl to Sibley. This pair may lack experience, but they don’t seem cowed.
1st over: England 1-0 (Crawley 1, Sibley 0) Philander is not a man who needs a loosener and, sure enough, he beats Zak Crawley, fourth ball, with a jaffa. Then he gets too straight and Crawley is able to flick him away for a single, which is greeted by the England fans as if it was a six from Ben Stokes. Mike Atherton reckons the crowd is 70% English.
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Play! It’s going to be Vernon Philander to open the bowling in his farewell series. In the first Test, he was not so much Big Vern as Absolutely Immense Vern.
Time for some rampant optimism. “It might be because this is the last weekday of my Christmas holidays,” says Tom van der Gucht, “and I’m on a sugar high after eating a Toblerone for breakfast, but my money is firmly on an England win, for the following reasons.
1. South Africa haven’t lost here for ages, except against Australia (according to Simon Wilde on Twitter) and are therefore due a loss.
2. England’s bounce-back-ability, they often follow up a shambolic loss with an unlikely win
3. South Africa are no longer the underdogs and therefore are likely to choke.
4. Nearly all of England’s batsmen are due a big score – hopefully they’ll cash in today with a double ton for one of them.
5. England might have a more balanced side if they have a spinner... Er, that’s all I’ve got.”
A word from the Cape. “Good morning from a sunny but windy Cape Town Tim,” says Trevor Tutu. “I would be going to the ground, but have given my tickets to my son, as he says he and his mates are going to barrack the Barmy Army.” Good luck with that.
Oh my goddess
And here’s John Starbuck, sorting out my Greek theology for me. “Good morning. The Greek god of disarray [Preamble, below] is really a goddess: Eris, the one with the golden apple who started the Trojan war. Mischief incarnate, her.” Well, there are times when Tests at Cape Town seem to be going on for ten years.
This new top three
The first email of the day comes from John Phaceas, who sees my line about England’s top three and goes one better. “ ‘Sibley, Crawley and Denly, who sound more like a set of adverbs than a source of runs.’ Nice turn of phrase Tim. Though the image that sprang to my mind was of competing Bradford rag-and-bone men.”
Teams: a lot of inexperience
As expected, it’s Zak Crawley in for the injured Rory Burns, Ollie Pope for Jonny Bairstow, and Dom Bess doing his utmost to stand in for Jofra Archer. The bowling could be all too medium-fast. South Africa, in a much calmer place, make only one change, Pieter Malan for the injured Aiden Markram. They, like England, have three players in the top six with fewer than five Test caps apiece.
England 1 Sibley, 2 Crawley, 3 Denly, 4 Root (capt), 5 Stokes, 6 Pope, 7 Buttler (wkt), 8 Curran, 9 Bess, 10 Broad, 11 Anderson.
S Africa 1 Elgar, 2 Malan, 3 Hamza, 4 du Plessis (capt), 5 van der Dussen, 6 de Kock (wkt), 7 Pretorius, 8 Philander, 9 Maharaj, 10 Rabada, 11 Nortje.
Toss: England win and bat
“We’re going to bat first,” says Joe Root. And that big smile is back on his face.
Preamble: from bad to curse
Morning everyone and welcome to England’s first Test of the 2020s. It feels like the last Test of an Ashes winter: half the team injured, replacements flying in, wheels falling off. Two weeks ago it was South Africa who were in disarray. Now they’re one up and feeling quietly pleased with themselves, while disarray, like a Greek god, has changed sides on a whim. England’s luck has gone from bad to curse – first a flu epidemic, then Jofra Archer’s bad elbow, now a football injury taking Rory Burns out of the whole series. If Alastair Cook was due at this game as a commentator, he’d probably find himself playing in it.
England’s top three may well be Sibley, Crawley and Denly, who sound more like a set of adverbs than a source of runs. Sibley has played three Tests, Crawley one; Sibley has 74 Test runs, which is 73 more than Crawley. Denly, who’s on 651, has at least found a way of making uncharacteristically dour fifties, but England may need a bit more than that here. Newlands, in Cape Town, is made for batting, almost as much as for taking pictures.
South Africa are expected to bring in Pieter Malan, their third 30-something debutant of the series, in place of the injured Aiden Markram. England may be wishing they had a Malan too – Dawid Malan averages 35 in Tests away from home, and clearly has the temperament for the top, as well as some local knowledge. The way things are going, he could be on the next plane.
Among the bowlers, Dom Bess is the most likely understudy for Archer, which is rather like replacing a sword with a Swiss Army knife. See you for the toss at 10am in Cape Town, 8am GMT.
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