Well, that’s about it from Centurion, and indeed from Kings Cross, London. England win the series 2-1, an excellent result, and have a great chance of going from fifth to first in the Test rankings in the summer.
The ODIs begin a week tomorrow. Thanks for your company. Bye!
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And here’s Alastair Cook: “It’s been a disappointing match, we haven’t quite been on it. Credit to South Africa. Trevor described today as a limp batting performance, which sums it up perfectly. We always want to try and play positively but we didn’t get the balance right today. I can’t really fault the lads too much because they’ve put in a huge amount and we’ve played some very good cricket. We’re a dangerous side but we need more consistency with the bat and with our fielding.”
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The post-series presentation
First up on the podium is Jonathan McCauley-Oliver: “I can handle being crap: I grew up watching Derek Pringle and David Capel. But being gutless is a disgrace. I fervently hope Alastair Cook gets a proper grilling when interviewed and he should make his players go into the stands and apologise to each England fan. Something good needs to happen because I am running out of office furniture to kick.”
Hang on, that was an email. Here’s AB de Villiers: “I thought the boys were very fired up for this Test match. It’s been a while since we’ve won a Test, so we’ll enjoy the celebrations. Kagiso had a fantastic match, I’m very proud of him. I’m very excited about some of the guys coming through. I’ve really enjoyed being captain and I’m keen to move forward. There’s a bright future for us.”
The Man of the Match is Kagiso Rabada. “The pitch was a bit up and down. We knew it would be tough because Abbo was struggling with the hammy. It’s great to be in this environment, it’s what I’ve always wanted to do, and it’s great to play against such a quality cricket team.” In your head, you’re imagining a soft, boyish voice, right? Wrong!
The Man of the Series is the magnificent Ben Stokes: “I prefer batting, but it’s nice to be contributing with both. Consistency is something I’ve lacked so it’s good to come here and put in some good performances. I like batting with Rooty, we don’t really talk about much out in the middle. The role I’ve been given is to come on and try and take wickets; going for runs is not something I’m too fussed about.”
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@robsmyth0 FWIW Cook, Hales, Taylor, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Moeen, Broad, Finn, Jimmy
— Dan Lucas (@DanLucas86) January 26, 2016
What has Buttler done to merit a recall that Morgan hasn’t?
We’ll keep the blog going for a bit. Longer than England kept the slog going, anyway. “Forget this game,” says Beefy. “Think about what they’ve done this series. Within 12-18 months they could easily be No1 in the world.”
They’ll be No1 before the end of the summer, Beef. You have my word.
@robsmyth0 is it ok to feel really rather angry with England, esp for the morning but also the whole test? On the beach...
— Gareth Wilson (@garethclwilson) January 26, 2016
Permission granted. I find it hard to get angry because I’m dead inside, but I can understand why you would be. There was no defence.
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Anderson lbw first ball, to Rabada of course, and game is over. SA win 280 runs. Rabada 13-144 in the match. Eng display utterly deplorable
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) January 26, 2016
Wish England wouldn't go through pretence of saying they'll go "all out to win" dead-rubber Tests.Just be honest & go on the piss for 5 days
— Tom Davies (@tomdaviesE17) January 26, 2016
SOUTH AFRICA WIN BY 280 RUNS (ENGLAND WIN THE SERIES 2-1)
That really is a staggering performance from Kagiso Rabada: six for 32 in the innings and 13 for 144 in the match, the second best match figures in South African history. He hands a stump to his dad on the way off, a lovely moment. Amid the rubble of a humbling series defeat, a new South African team has started to emerge.
There was talk of showers at Centurion today, and England were a complete shower, throwing their wickets away in the modern manner. It didn’t look great but it can happen, and it would be wrong to let this overshadow a terrific win from an improving side. All things being equal, they will be world No1 at some stage this summer.
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WICKET! England 101 all out (Anderson LBW b Rabada 0)
The series ends in strange style. Anderson is hit on the toe first ball by a superb yorker from Rabada. Kumar Dharmasena says not out, and South Africa only review reluctantly. But it’s out! Rabada has 13 in the match, astonishing stuff at the age of 20, and the match is over. South Africa win by 280 runs! England lasted 67 minutes this morning.
Feel sorry for fans TBH I know England feel they deserve a beer for brunch but capitulation makes a mockery of charging for entry @robsmyth0
— Harry (@FactDeJour) January 26, 2016
Don’t you get your money back unless there are a certain number of overs? Maybe that’s the plan. Selfless.
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WICKET! England 101-9 (Broad c de Villiers b Rabada 2)
Rabada takes his third consecutive five-for! Broad had a wild hack and edged to it second slip, where de Villiers took a really good catch. Rabada has taken 12 wickets in this match. It’s probably fair to say South Africa have found a future star.
34th over: England 101-8 (Moeen 10, Broad 2) When Morkel overpitches consecutive deliveries, Moeen times the undercrackers off pushes to long-on and long-off. Futility doesn’t get much more gorgeous than that.
“Indeed, Rob, Nick Compton is averaging 30,” says Paul Ewart. “He’s the only one of the top three to break 30. Hales and Cook have averages in the low 20s for the series. What to do?” Bin Cook. Next.
But yes, unless England decide they have to bring back Morgan or Buttler – and I would definitely recall Morgan – I think they should stick with the same top seven. Four Tests isn’t enough.
33rd over: England 93-8 (Moeen 2, Broad 2) So this will be seven series in eight that England have lost the last Test. I’m not sure how you address a problem like that.
“If Alanis is so bloody clever,” says Mike Selvey, “ask her what England’s top three should be next match.”
She’d probably tell you that – as cricket correspondent of esteemed, credible newspaper The Guardian – you oughta know.
I’m so sorry.
In other news, these are the best match figures by bowlers under 21. Most are spinners, with only Waqar, Pathan and Mohammad Zahid above Rabada among fast bowlers.
WICKET! England 91-8 (Woakes c de Kock b Rabada 5)
That’s wicket No11 for the brillaint Rabada. Woakes snicks a back-foot force through to de Kock, who takes a routine catch.
32nd over: England 90-7 (Moeen 1, Woakes 5) Moeen is beaten by a brutish lifter from Morkel.
England Innings Highlights: https://t.co/Srdjj5V4FU
— Fred Boycott (@FredBoycott) January 26, 2016
Remember the glory days when England would win the dead games (from 4-0 down against Australia, sure, but still...)
— Lawrence Booth (@the_topspin) January 26, 2016
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31st over: England 88-7 (Moeen 0, Woakes 4) Moeen continues his silken destruction of fresh air, with Rabada beating him for the second time in the innings.
Composite XI from this series could be interesting. England definites Root, Stokes, Bairstow, Broad. Anyone else? Finn maybe? @robsmyth0
— Steve Pye (@1980sSportsBlog) January 26, 2016
Finn definitely – he’s been the best bowler in the series – but it’s a good point and reflects the fact that England are still, at this stage, heavily reliant on great individual performances. They’re a one-man team, but it’s a different man each time.
30th over: England 87-7 (Moeen 0, Woakes 4) Woakes is beaten by Morkel, not once but twice. He could do with some runs to further justify his existence place. This isn’t great from England but, well, it happens. And they have won the series. And that official ECB later does look pretty tempting in that ice bath.
“Thanks for another reference,” says Pete Salmon, “although the correct form is ‘It is an awful feeling to get out twice to the same bowler, two balls in a row. Ask Greg Blewett’.” I bet Alanis would know the answer.
WICKET! England 83-7 (Stokes c Cook b Morkel 10)
England are trying to get this done before drinks, never mind lunch. Stokes creams a pull straight to deep midwicket, where Cook takes an easy catch.
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29th over: England 83-6 (Stokes 10, Moeen 0)
What a moment for Rabada! He had Bairstow caught at slip off a no-ball the previous delivery but – as with Darren Gough and Greg Blewett on that famous day at Edgbaston in 1997 – he got him again next ball! Bairstow fiddled defensively outside off and thin-edged it through to de Kock. Rabada is the youngest South Africa to take a ten-for in Tests, and he’s now the leading wicket-taker in the series even though he missed the first Test.
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WICKET! England 83-6 (Bairstow c de Kock b Rabada 10)
Rabada has taken 10 wickets in the match!
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28th over: England 78-5 (Stokes 10, Bairstow 10) Morkel jags one back to ram Stokes in the breadbasket, knocking him off his feet in the process. Stokes then flicks a short one round the corner for four. He won’t die wondering. He probably won’t even die, such is his superhumanity.
“Morning Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “I’d just been discussing at what point England would finally collapse, crushing our faint hopes under a white, shiny #ECBbranded cricket boot. But looks like we’re in a hurry to have a beer at lunch. I think this series has a lot of questions still, and we should stick with Hales for at least the first Tests of the summer, when he may have white ball runs (we won’t though). Who else is there, bar Compo, and we’ll have two grinders up top. Taylor also, needs sticking with, someone just needs to tell him to calm down a little.”
I reckon they will stay with the same team, unless they bring back Buttler and move Bairstow up.
27th over: England 72-5 (Stokes 4, Bairstow 10) Piedt’s work is done, with Joe Root out, so he’s replaced by Kagiso Rabada. His fourth ball is too straight and pinged imperiously through midwicket for four by Bairstow. He is averaging 87 in this series and, perhaps for the first time, will feel secure in the team – not necessarily as a keeper-batsman, but certainly as a batsman.
“Damn, thought I’d head to the OBO early expecting play to start at 8.30,” says Kevin Wilson. “I was hoping Taylor would score some runs. The last three Tests have been a proper damp squib. He’s found ridiculous ways to get out. Of the three batsmen on the chopping block, he’s the only one I’d really make a case for retaining. Vince is due Compton’s place and heck, anyone might as well open.”
Hmm. Ideally I’d give them all the Sri Lanka series, but it’s time to get Morgan in, so somebody has to take the hit.
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26th over: England 64-5 (Stokes 4, Bairstow 2) Quick poll: do you think Ben Stokes will bat for a draw?
A) No.
B) Arf.
C) This clown is a smart guy.
Stokes does indeed get off the mark in the classical style, top-edging a hook over the slips for four. He is adorably defiant.
“If you want a picture of the future,” says Niall Mullen, “imagine this England team refusing to stamp their boot into a human face - forever.” Genuine question: are you having an LSD comedown?
25th over: England 60-5 (Stokes 0, Bairstow 2) Piedt does seem to cause Root an inordinate amount of difficulty. He was dropped off Piedt’s first ball of the day, but the reprieve didn’t last long. From the third ball of Piedt’s second over, Root went for a big drive and snicked it straight to slip, where Elgar grabebed a sharp chance.
In other news, here’s some more love for Kim Hughes, and one of the greatest innings in Test history.
@robsmyth0 Also this knock. Amazing bit of fielding from Desmond Haynes in there. https://t.co/4q2mdTHqLj
— Neil Tague (@NeilTague) January 26, 2016
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WICKET! England 58-5 (Root c Elgar b Piedt 20)
Well done AB de Villiers! That was an inspired decision to bowl Piedt to Root, who has been caught at slip playing a loose drive.
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24th over: England 58-4 (Root 20, Stokes 0) That completes a surprisingly modest series from Taylor, who started with such authority in the first Test. It was never going to be an easy tour for him though, and he deserves more time, particularly with next winter’s trip to Indian in mind.
WICKET! England 58-4 (Taylor c de Kock b Morkel 24)
Abbott was only bowling one over so that Morkel could switch ends – and he strikes in his first over. The last delivery kicked from a length to brush the glove as Taylor tried to drop his hands at the last minute, and de Kock took an easy catch. Lovely delivery.
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23rd over: England 58-3 (Root 20, Taylor 24) Instead of opening the bowling with Morkel and Rabada, AB de Villiers has started with Abbott and Piedt! What an absurd decis- Root is dropped off Piedt’s first ball! He played for turn and got a big edge that de Kock couldn’t hold. Those chances are always tricky for the modern keeper, certainly when the deflection is that big. Piedt ends a good over by beating Root outside off stump.
22nd over: England 56-3 (Root 19, Taylor 23) Kyle Abbott will bowl the first over. Not even Chuck Norris could bowl with a hamstring injury, but Abbott is apparently doing so. His second ball, to Taylor, keeps ominously low, and it’s that low bounce that is the reason for Abbott bowling a very tight line. His last ball is too straight and flicked crisply through midwicket for four by Taylor.
So, anyway, what’s your team for the first Test of next summer?
I would probably go for Cook, Compton, Taylor, Root, Morgan, Stokes, Bairstow, Moeen, Broad, Finn, Anderson.
Last day, 3 sessions, or 6 hours of the scheduled 85 days, 255 sessions or 510 hours of Test cricket for England since April.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) January 26, 2016
It turned out a lot better than we feared. Five series: two wins, two draws and a defeat. Seventeen Tests: seven wins, three draws and, in all probability, seven defeats.
Most important, moments to cherish forever, most notably from Stuart Broad, Ben Stokes, Joe Root, Ben Stokes, Steven Finn, Ben Stokes, James Anderson, Jonny Bairstow, Alastair Cook, Mark Wood, James Taylor, Ben Stokes and Ben Stokes.
As you asked with such politeness, here are England’s batting and bowling averages in that period. They reflect the fact that England are still heavily reliant on five or six players, though in many ways that’s a good thing: they’ve just beaten Australia and South Africa, yet there is significant room for improvement.
Happy Australia Day!
On this day, 14 years ago, Shane Bond’s life changed with an accidental jaffa to Adam Gilchrist.
There was a pretty decent Test at Adelaide on this day 23 years ago.
Finally, happy 62nd birthday to a genius.
Morning!
Crawl, walk, run. That’s how it used to work. Emerging Test sides had to become hard to beat before they could even contemplate regular victory. Think of Allan Border’s Australia, Nasser Hussain’s England and especially Andrew Strauss’s England, nine down and hanging on for dear draw in 2009-10.
Alastair Cook’s young team do things a little differently. They took a shortcut to the winning part last summer, but they still haven’t really learned how to turn defeats into draws. Since they first came together in 2014 there have been a series of fourth-innings rearguards, 0.00 per cent of which have been successful.
A couple, against Sri Lanka at Headingley and Pakistan at Dubai, were heroic failures. The others, not so much: they were pulverised by Australia at Lord’s in July, when they couldn’t even hang on until the end of the fourth day, and were well beaten by New Zealand at Headingley earlier in the summer.
Barring rainfall of the biblical variety, a thumping defeat is the likeliest scenario today. The pitch is difficult, and the subconscious of England’s batsmen’s is screaming at them: Look, it doesn’t matter, you’ve already have won the series: have a break, have a Kit-Kat, have a waft outside off. Also, the sooner you get this done the sooner you enjoy the soothing sensation of official ECB lager on esophagus.
But if England do manage to bat out the day, it would be a nice way to end what feels like a breakthrough series. They won the Ashes, for sure, but here they have played with much greater authority.
A draw would also begin to arrest a burgeoning concern. The biggest problem with the England Test side was always that they were completely sh- would start series slowly. Now they finish them slowly. In six of the last seven series England have lost the final Test. And you can’t all blame it on the other DRS: dead rubber syndrome applied in only two of those six defeats.
England will resume on 52 for three, with Joe Root and James Taylor both doing their best to prompt a Rory Bremner revival. Play will start half an hour early – at 8am GMT – because of the lost time yesterday. Let’s me and you get this done.
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