That couldn’t have gone much better for England. They might have scored at a slightly faster rate, but we shouldn’t be too churlish because they are in a terrific position on an awkward, wearing pitch. After the melodrama of the summer, this has been a performance of quiet authority. Thanks for your company; see you tomorrow!
Close of play
64th over: England 172-3 (Root 60, Taylor 24) The part-time offspinner JP Duminy will bowl the last over of the day. I can’t believe he’s 31 years old; it only feels like a short time ago that he was making that magical 166 at Melbourne in 2008. Taylor pulls vigorously for four to bring up an excellent fifty partnership, and those are the final runs of a superb day for England. They will go into the fourth day with a lead of 261.
Updated
63rd over: England 167-3 (Root 59, Taylor 20) Dean Elgar is back into the attack for what will be the penultimate over of the day. Not much happens. You’re welcome!
62nd over: England 164-3 (Root 57, Taylor 19) Van Zyl continues. These are useful overs for South Africa, just taking a bit of time out of the game. You never know how valuable they might be in two days’ time.
The South African commentators are already talking about changes to the side for the second Test. There is certainly a 2004-05 feel to this series, in terms of how unsettled South Africa are.
This England side aren’t as good as Michael Vaughan’s team of 11 years ago, but they have a serious chance of becoming only the second non-Australian side to win a series in South Africa since readmission. They would, however, do well to get a lead before Philander and/or Steyn come back and the pitches are more conducive to pace bowling.
61st over: England 161-3 (Root 55, Taylor 18) Taylor, falling over to the off side, works Abbott through midwicket for a couple. England lead by 250 now, with maybe three more overs before the close.
“I hate to sound ungrateful for Root’s sustained excellence,” says Piers Smettem, “but would love to see him improve his conversion rate.”
It’s not that bad is it? Eight hundreds and 17 fifties, so around 33 per cent. It’s certainly not like early Graham Thorpe or Stephen Fleming. One thing he does do very well is convert hundreds into daddies.
Root now has 13 50-plus scores in 2015. Equals Sehwag for the most scores of 50 or more in a calendar year https://t.co/FcGKHu5G0X #SAvENG
— ESPNcricinfo (@ESPNcricinfo) December 28, 2015
60th over: England 159-3 (Root 55, Taylor 16) Van Zyl is doing a good holding job, bowling a Boparaish wicket-to-wicket line with a bit of movement into the right-handers. A good over to Taylor, with just a single off the final ball, gives him figures of 6-2-9-0.
@robsmyth0 I might have played against Ilford second XI, or maybe the thirds, in a low-quality Sunday afternoon thrash back in the day
— Tom Davies (@tomdaviesE17) December 28, 2015
@robsmyth0 so some Test cricket I can empathise with
— Tom Davies (@tomdaviesE17) December 28, 2015
59th over: England 158-3 (Root 55, Taylor 15) Root flicks Abbott for two to reach the usual half-century, his 25th score of fifty or more in his 36 Tests. A lovely clip through midwicket for four takes him to 55, and then Abbott beats the outside edge with a beauty. An eventual over concludes with an unplayable grubber that is mercifully wide of off stump. Finn and Broad will love that. Root has scored at a good rate on this pitch - 55 from 101 - and just secretes class. Only an unexpected apocalypse can stop him achieving greatness.
Updated
58th over: England 152-3 (Root 49, Taylor 15) The contrast between Taylor’s first two Tests in 2012, and his next two Tests this year, is pretty staggering. He looks so authoritative and assured now.
57th over: England 151-3 (Root 48, Taylor 15) Root opens the face to steer Abbott cleverly for three to third man, and then Taylor drives sweetly through mid-on for four. I’ve just realised that Dale Steyn is back on the field. That does seem to be on the ARE YOU CLINICALLY INSANE side of unfathomable, although we don’t know what medical advice he has been given.
56th over: England 143-3 (Root 44, Taylor 10) Van Zyl returns in place of Piedt. The scheduled close is right here, right now, but we’re behind on the overs so will need the extra half-hour. We still won’t get them all in. Just two from the over. England might just be starting to let the tortoise get away from them here, though a win is still the likeliest outcome.
“I know plenty of people in my team, Highgate Taverners, that loathe Stuart Broad,” says Adam Pervoe. “And Cook. And Compton. And Hales. The most vocal is an Ollie McGuiness. He is a useless medium pacer who bowls too short and likes to have a thrash with the bat. Bit like early Stuart Broad. Could the root of his disdain be that he has failed to learn the lessons that Broad has?” That, or he might just be a misanthropic sunnagun.
Updated
55th over: England 141-3 (Root 44, Taylor 9) A run-out opportunity for Duminy, who throws just wide of the stumps with the stretching Root struggling to make his ground. We haven’t seen a replay so I don’t know whether he would have been home had the throw hit the stumps. England lead by 230.
54th over: England 139-3 (Root 43, Taylor 8) These are the longest fourth innings in Test cricket since the start of the decade. England should factor this into any declaration. Ideally you’d want to declare before lunch tomorrow, but maybe an hour into the afternoon session is more likely.
53rd over: England 134-3 (Root 43, Taylor 3) Root shapes to hook Morkel, realises it’s not on and aborts the stroke. Morkel has been so good in this innings, although the moment I type that he bowls a rare poor ball – a leg-stump full toss that is flicked for four by Root.
52nd over: England 130-3 (Root 40, Taylor 3) Taylor would rather face Piedt than Abbott while he gets his eye in. England are milking him as if it’s the middle overs of an ODI, with five singles from the previous over and three from this.
“I have nothing to add regarding the match itself,” says Matt Dony, “but every time I read the name Van Zyl, I imagine he should be making eccentric music in a big house somewhere in the middle of the Mojave Desert, with a nine-piece band who are all terrified of him.” And with an entire wardrobe just for his bandanas.
51st over: England 127-3 (Root 37, Taylor 2) This is an awkward pitch on which to score freely, but it’s not quite so difficult to survive. South Africa have shown on a number of occasions in the last three or four years that they can bat 130-plus overs in the fourth innings, and to hell with the scoring rate. It wouldn’t be a surprise if, in a reverse of 2009-10, this went to the final over with Morne Morkel needing to survive the last six deliveries to earn a draw. I still think England are healthy favourites though.
“Surely the most rewarding thing about our current position is how unlikely it feels when we cast ourselves back to the pre-World Cup farrago?” says Guy Hornsby. “Yes, our Test team wasn’t in bad shape but morale and confidence seemed an apparition as we stumbled towards the end of the Moores II era. What a difference a year makes: even without clear answers on the full XI things feel more balanced already. Compton’s renaissance is top of this rose-tinted list.”
The Strauss effect. There’s nothing he can’t fix. Everything he touches turns to beige. But it’s a really comforting, solid, rich, deluxe beige. You know what I mean. LOOK I MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT.
50th over: England 124-3 (Root 36, Taylor 2) The offspinner Piedt returns to the attack. Hashim Amla knows this is probably South Africa’s last chance of winning the match. We’re still having technical problems, so apologies for the increased poverty of this coverage.
“We in the OBO all like to do our bit,” says John Starbuck. “So, if it helps, please feel free to ignore this email.”
49th over: England 119-3 (Root 33, Taylor 0) Compton lasted only two more deliveries before he was dismissed, strangled down the leg side off Morkel. Compton tried to flick the ball to fine leg to bring up his fifty, but got it too fine and de Villiers took the catch to his left. Morkel deserves that, and plenty more.
WICKET! England 119-3 (Compton c de Villiers b Morkel 49)
He’s gone this time!
BREAKING NEWS: AB DE VILLIERS IS HUMAN
And another one goes down. Compton is turned round by a magnificent delivery from the new bowler Morkel that takes the edge and flies to the right of De Villiers. He dives too far, in front of first slip, and unwittingly punches the ball behind him for four.
Updated
48th over: England 115-2 (Compton 45, Root 33) We’re having major technical issues, so please excuse me if I cut down on the emails for a bit so that I can try to describe, y’know, the actual sport. England are continuing to slowly extend their lead. The merit of this approach can probably only be judged when the game is over. One thing we have to consider is that, as we saw recently, South Africa are by some distance the world’s best at shutting up shop and batting for a draw. Meanwhile Elgar swears again, a “shit” this time. And then he says it again on the replay! Who’d be David Gower?
“(Presume that Robert (over 41) is referring to Stuart Broad). Is he ‘much-maligned’ - and by whom? One of the many wearying things about the nature of the internet is that echo-chamber thing, wherein opinions or assumptions are reinforced by weight of opinion of the same group of people. As a cricket lover, I’ve never met anyone who maligns Stu much, or even a little. Am I missing something? I like SCJB (And maybe this is my Eeyorish side but I’ve always liked NRDC too).”
Yes, good point. I know a lot of people who don’t like Broad, but I do agree that it’s exceptionally hard to know what constitutes public opinion these days. If social media is really representative of society, then we need to induce the apocalypse, don’t we?
47th over: England 111-2 (Compton 42, Root 28) The highlight of another Van Zyl maiden is – yep – David Gower apologising for Dean Elgar’s language. Time for drinks.
“Do you really think Monty will play for England again?” says Nicholas Stone. “Highly unlikely, surely, unless Ali gets injured. I am/was a big fan of Monty (not least for Cardiff and his batting vigil!) but surely we ought to be hoping/praying Rashid makes the grade? Can bat like Ali, and a leggies always more dangerous than an offie, no?
I’d say it’s 50/50 because of his mental-health problems, though I’m hopeful. But if he’s available and happy I’d drop Moeen straight away. Rashid has no chance sadly.
46th over: England 111-2 (Compton 42, Root 28) Compton, beaten in the flight, pushes the ball in the air and just past the bowler Elgar, diving desperately to his left. Elgar ends the over with a poor delivery that is worked for a single, and screams “Fack!” David Gower will be apologising for that any minute now.
“McMillan was a good player but perhaps not the brightest: if you wanted to get him out, you just placed fielders at deep square leg and deep fine leg, bowled short, and he’d hook, inevitably getting caught sooner or later,” says Richard Mansell. “Wouldn’t catch S Waugh falling for that. It was tremendously frustrating.” Yeah, he played testosterone cricket, didn’t he?
Updated
45th over: England 108-2 (Compton 42, Root 28) Apologies for the brief updates; we’re having a few technical issues. The runs have dried up a bit for now, and that’s a maiden from Van Zyl to Root. England lead by 197 and are - whisper it, shout it, put it on Bebo - going to win this game.
44th over: England 108-2 (Compton 42, Root 28) Graeme Smith on commentary is advocating a more attacking field for Elgar. It’s fascinating how captains become so much braver in the commentary box. Even Ian Botham used to limit himself to eight slips when he was captaining on the field. Anyway, Root is beaten by another absurd delivery from Elgar that turns almost at right angles. England lead by 197.
@garynaylor999 @robsmyth0 The doubt remains, Is this Compton's natural game or is there an inner attacking Compton waiting to break free?
— Marees (@J_Mareeswaran) December 28, 2015
42nd over: England 101-2 (Compton 36, Root 28) England are Trotting along happily, with the lead approaching 200. Root does well to repel a much quicker ball from Edgar.
“I know I’m a little/lot late on sticking the knife into the band Wings, but I’ve only just caught up with the OBO and felt it was missing an important piece of information,” writes Paul McCart Michael Avery. “They weren’t just some hapless vehicle for McCartney to push his twee nonsense, they could also be quite dangerous. The ill-advised song ‘Give Ireland Back To The Irish’ - released in 1972 at a time when The Troubles were making a mockery of such a pathetic name - meant that the brother of the drummer Henry McCullough (who lived in N Ireland) had the sh*t knocked out of him. If I had seven shades beaten out of me because my brother joined Wings I’d be furious.”
41st over: England 100-2 (Compton 35, Root 28) “It’s odd, is it not, that it should be two very much-maligned England players who are putting this match in their pockets?” says Robert Wilson. “I’ve regularly put the boot into Stu over the years and a lot of people can’t seem to stick Compton at any price. They’ve been the whole difference here. All mongrel and attitude, they’re the two heaviest stones in this grinding match.” I suppose South Africa is a particularly good place to have a hard nose, and those two certainly do. I must say, I find the attitude towards Compton a bit weird. From afar he seems a really likeable, smart bloke.
Updated
40th over: England 99-2 (Compton 34, Root 28) This pitch is doing plenty for the spinners. If Hugh Tayfield and Graeme Swann were playing, the match might be over already. It also reinforces the importance of Monty Panesar’s rehabilitation.
PEDANT-WATCH: Kirsten carried his bat in 1997, not 1998, @robsmyth0 @DanLucas86, and now I have to buy shots for my painful friend.
— Harry Phillips (@Yes_IAmHarry) December 28, 2015
Who said it was 1998? Eejits! It was the Pat Symcox Test in October 1997 wasn’t it?
Updated
REVIEW! England 98-2 (Compton not out 33)
That didn’t take long. Ultra Edge showed nothing, and Compton’s instant review was also a decent indicator. The decision is overturned. The noise came from the bat hitting the bottom of the pad. It was nonetheless a vicious delivery that spat off the pitch and past the outside edge.
Updated
ENGLAND REVIEW! Compton c de Villiers b Elgar
Compton has been given out but reviewed it instantly. I suspect the offending noise was bat on boot, so he should be okay.
39th over: England 98-2 (Compton 33, Root 28) That’s the short of the day from Root, a gorgeous, textbook square drive for four off Abbott. It brings up the fifty partnership from only 74 balls. England have paced this innings splendidly. First they extinguished all hope of victory for South Africa, and now they are putting the hurt on them.
Updated
38th over: England 94-2 (Compton 33, Root 24) Piedt takes a break, with Dean Elgar coming on to bowl his occasional left-arm spin. The first two deliveries are filthy long-hops, though both are only punished with a single. England are in complete control of this match now, and will have to work exceptionally hard if they are to pull of a humiliating defeat.
Updated
37th over: England 89-2 (Compton 31, Root 21) Compton is about to become the top scorer in the match. At his best he is like a bowler who takes wickets for the man at the other end, wearing down both the ball and the bowlers for the lower middle-order hitters to take advantage. I think he’s going to be a really vital player for England in the next five years, one who will be more valuable than his final Test average of 38.41 would suggest. Root, meanwhile, is going to be a superstar, and he moves into the 20s with a lovely square drive for three off Abbott.
Updated
36th over: England 86-2 (Compton 31, Root 18) Compton, trying to sweep, bat-pads Piedt safely on the off side. After four runs are milked, Compton pushes a good delivery this far short of Bavuma at short leg.
@robsmyth0 Why is it that the pundits only say it's right "to play your natural game" if that's biffing it all round the ground? Go Compo!
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) December 28, 2015
Ha, good point. And to borrow an observation from Paul Coupar about Glenn McGrath, in the current climate of batting it’s Compo who is the maverick talent!
Updated
35th over: England 82-2 (Compton 28, Root 17) Root feels inquisitively outside off stump at Abbott and then tries to withdraw his bat as the ball lifts sharply. It still counts as a play-and-miss I think, and it was certainly a cracking delivery. Barring a de Villiers Christmas miracle, it’s hard to see South Africa chasing anything more than 250 on here.
34th over: England 81-2 (Compton 27, Root 17) England lead by 162, with 35 overs remaining today, so they should be 300 ahead by the close. Root, on the charge, pads Piedt towards short leg, where Bavuma can’t hold on. It was a false alarm. Later in the over Root drags a stonking slog-sweep over midwicket for six. England have scored 21 from the last three overs.
33rd over: England 73-2 (Compton 26, Root 10) Compton helps a gentle short ball from Abbott to backward square for four. He scored 15 from his first 58 balls and 11 from the last nine.
“Brian McMillan,” says Nicholas Stone. “Remember Devon Malcolm trying to bounce him out and he hooked Malcolm repeatedly for sixes and fours, a la Pietersen v Lee. Hands like buckets as well. Great all-rounder.”
He also walked into the Australian dressing-room, pointed a shotgun at Shane Warne and said, “Listen, a lot of people go missing in South Africa every day and one more won’t be noticed.”
32nd over: England 69-2 (Compton 22, Root 10) Compton plonks his back leg and hoicks Piedt high to square-leg for four. There was a shout of catch but there was nobody there. You’d imagine Trevor Bayliss has encouraged them to use a bit more controlled aggression, especially against the spinner.
“If South Africa are to get anything out of this, then Morkel is going to have to come not just good, but a lot better,” says John Starbuck. “In other words, to be to Steyn and Broad to Anderson - take the lead with a cracking performance.”
I think he has bowled really well, if not quite as well as Broad. Trouble is that, because England have five bowlers, Broad was able to have a long rest between spells. Morkel has already bowled 10.3 overs out of 32 in this innings; Broad bowled 15 out of 81.4.
31st over: England 62-2 (Compton 15, Root 10) An intravenous injection of Joe Root is just what this sluggish innings needs. His change in approach after the 2013-14 Ashes is fascinating. At the end of that series he had a Test strike-rate of 37; since that series his strike rate is 62. He gets this session going with a crisp, classy back-foot drive for four off Abbott. He times the satin leopard-print pants off a similar stroke later in the over but doesn’t pierce the field.
“The OBO in emojis?” says Simon McMahon. “It could catch on.😂 ”
You’re joking. But perhaps you’re right.
(I give it five years, tops.)
Updated
30th over: England 58-2 (Compton 15, Root 6) Dane Piedt starts the evening session. England will want to go after him, because if they hit him out of the attack Amla has nowhere to go, but it’s not easy because of the turn and bounce. He’s bowling well, and starts with a maiden to Compton.
“It is a shame of course that Steyn is out but let us not forget that England lost their bowling talisman before the game had even started,” says Nicholas Stone. “ore importantly, what has happened to the once-mighty South African batting lineup? It doesn’t seem so long ago that they batted right down to number 11 when Pollock and Klusener were in the team.”
I know! A South African tail is almost an oxymoron, certainly for those of us who grew up with one of the most formidable lower orders in Test history. Just look at this!
Well, as Dan has buggered off I’d better do the final session, eh? Just kidding guys! It’s all on the rota!
Now, sport is not just a battle for supremacy. It’s also a battle for primacy. Who influences the result the most? Did we win it or did they lose it? In English cricket, there is sometimes a tendency to accentuate the negative. We won the Ashes because Australia batted like clowns in the summer. Now England are playing the worst team in South African history, so essentially victory is meaningless, a given. BLOODY GET ON WITH IT.
Or maybe not. This has been a fine, controlled performance from England, and all things being equal they will win this match just before tea on the fifth day. I know they have been a bit slow in this innings, but the line-up is geared to punishing tiring bowlers later in the innings – something that is even more important given this particular pitch and injury to Steyn.
I think their basic plan has been sound, and this match should only end one way. Given the opposition, and particularly England’s record in the first Test of an overseas series, it would be a seriously good win.
Since beating SA in 2004-05, England's record in the first Test of an overseas series is: W1 D6 L10. And that win was v Bangladesh.
— Rob Smyth (@robsmyth0) December 28, 2015
Updated
Tea: England 58-2
England will be satisfied, if not happy, with that session. They’re very much in the driving seat, with lives given to both Compton and Root and especially with Dale Steyn injured. They won’t have wanted to lose two wickets, but when do you ever?
Steyn went off twice, aborting two separate overs and it’s hard to see him playing any more of this Test or in the next. It’s a sign of South Africa’s desparation at the match situation - England have their foot on the South Africans’ collective throat - but it’s also a huge shame that we’re not going to see one of cricket’s most entertaining, most competitive, best players isn’t going to be part of this hugely entertaining drama.
Rob Smyth is back until the close of play (that’s right, isn’t it Rob?). Cheers for all your tweets and emails - sorry I couldn’t use them all. See you bright and early tomorrow morning.
Updated
29th over: England 58-2 (Compton 15, Root 6) This should be the final over before tea. Morkel gives Root a juicy half volley on leg stump and the No4 clips it through midwicket, but the lack of pace in the pitch means he only gets two for his effort. Two balls later Root looks to hook a high bouncer and gets a faint glove on it, only for De Villiers to drop it one-handed above his head as he’s slightly wrong-footed by the deflection. This has been a cracking spell from Morkel and he must be furious at the two missed chances, his injured mate Steyn notwithstanding. That’s tea.
28th over: England 56-2 (Compton 15, Root 4) Piedt hits Root on the pad and goes up with half an appeal, but it hit him well outside the line. They run a single, then Compton unfurls a lovely reverse sweep, middling it away for four through what was once backward point.
“Hi Dan from foggy Voghera,” writes Finbar Anslow. My daughter had the temerity to suggest Freebird from Lynryd Synryd’s ‘Pronounced’, blithely ignoring such gems as Tuesday’s gone and Simple man, For myself ‘Luck of the Irish from Sometime in new York City (John lennon) Bluejeans and Moonbeams by Captain Beefheart and the title track of Dangerous Game by Vilamba.”
27th over: England 51-2 (Compton 11, Root 3) Morkel is looking to test Root with some short stuff, but England’s best batsman is exactly as unruffled as you would expect, getting up over the ball and playing it late, getting three down to third man to get off the mark and England up past 50. He goes fuller to Compton, who prods away from his body and edges, but it’s dropped by Elgar at second slip! It was low-ish, just below waist-height, but an absolute dolly really for the centurion, whose hands were just fractionally too low.
26th over: England 48-2 (Compton 11, Root 0) Down the track comes Compton. “Hello, pitch of the ball,” he says as he lifts it up, high into the air and... oh, it plugs out at deep midwicket and they run three. That’s a touch disappointing. Hales then gets an escape, an inside edge looping over Bavuma at short leg, but he gives it away next ball. He’s going to get (slightly) unfairly slaughtered for that, isn’t he? He was looking good, too. Root comes to the crease, but he’ll have to wait as the umpires are having a chat with Hashim Amla about the condition of the ball. Not sure what this is about, but the umpires have changed the ball.
Josh Robinson has been in touch. “Afternoon Lucas, afternoon everybody. The answer to your question as to what Smyth did to the OBO is that he applied a defibrillator to its inert chest. And now that he’s gone, it’s once again flatlining with tedious complacency.”
There’s no need to be a dick, Josh.
Updated
Wicket! Hales c Abbott b Piedt 26
Bah! Hales looks to smear it down the ground but he’s reaching as Piedt smartly bowls it a bit wider of off. He doesn’t connect and Abbott comes round to gather it tidily at long on.
Updated
25th over: England 45-1 (Compton 8, Hales 26) Neither batsman looks entirely comfortable against Morkel, but you feel like the giant South African is fighting a lone fight. He hasn’t taken a five-fer in three years and, with the greatest of respect, I’m not convinced it’s going to happen here. Another maiden.
@DanLucas86 I guess it's hard to prove a negative, but has any fast bowler ever carried an injury (not a twinge) through a Test match?
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) December 28, 2015
Malcolm Marshall did it with a broken fucken arm.
24th over: England 45-1 (Compton 8, Hales 26) Hales pushes down the ground for a single, before Compton walks into one and clips it neatly to deep mid on for the same. South Africa are in a real quandary here: Piedt will bowl a lot now, so they’ll want sharp spin, but then they won’t want to have to face that from Moeen chasing more than 250. Hales gets a single from the last.
Rob Wolf Petersen has a suggestion for good songs from crap albums: “I’d like to suggest I Heard Wonders from David Holmes’ The Holy Pictures as an outstanding track from a moderate album. I love David Holmes’ work, but find most of that album pretty bland. Also, Everything Will Flow by Suede, from the largely execrable Head Music, a period when Suede had moved on from being brilliantly tortured and were plumbing the depths of pseudo-profound lift muzak.
“In other news, I come from the same town as Suede, and the bass player’s mum used to teach my little brother.”
Updated
23rd over: England 42-1 (Compton 7, Hales 24) Morkel will continue, back in the attack sooner than he and his team would like. There’s a strangled shout as he hits Compton on the pad, but it was above the knee roll and probably angling down leg. Compton drops one into the off side and sets off for his first run in nine overs, and Hales momentarily has his heart in his mouth when the fielder hits the stumps from almost square on. He was well home, but had to hurry to be sure he was. A leg bye, then the final ball is a sharp lifter that beats the batsman - a sign of the variable bounce in this pitch.
22nd over: England 40-1 (Compton 6, Hales 24) Hales reaches for the sweep again, paddling gently from well outside off and past the ducking short leg for a single. That fielder is utterly redundant against a batsman like Hales. A couple of balls later Piedt sends one turning down the leg side; it spits up out of De Villiers’ gloves and shoots down to fine leg, allowing England to run three byes.
Steyn leaves the field again
21st over: England 36-1 (Compton 6, Hales 23) Excellent news for South Africa: Steyn is back into the attack. Of course that’s only good news if he doesn’t knacker his shoulder further - he had treatment on it yesterday and was only bowling in the mid-to-high-120kph region with the second new ball in England’s first innings and at the start of this one. He raps Compton high on the pads with his first ball and, a couple of deliveries later, the batsman sees a forward defensive spin back and drift just a few inches wide of leg stump. Next ball they go up for a catch down the leg side and call for the review, but nothing doing. And now bad news for South Africa as, once again, Steyn is unable to finish his over. Morkel will complete the over and that must be Steyn out of the next Test. When he appealed for that catch down the leg side his bowling arm remained by his side.
Steyn comes back, with a shoulder strain, bowls 3 balls and off again.....crazy, but an indication of SA desperation #SAvENG
— Pam Nash (@Pam_nAshes) December 28, 2015
Not out
There’s a slight noise, too faint even for UltraEdge, but it’s off the pocket. South Africa lose a review.
Review! Is Compton out?
He follows it down the leg side. Given not out.
20th over: England 36-1 (Compton 6, Hales 23) My apologies: I misattributed that run in the last over; if you refresh it’ll be chalked up to Hales. It’s probably not worth the effort to save my blushes, mind. In this over, Hales gives Piedt the charge, but changes his mind and blocks it instead. Maiden.
19th over: England 36-1 (Compton 6, Hales 23) A run, at last, off Abbott to ruin his 0-0 figures. Hales pushing it to cover and dashing through. I imagine England are looking to grind him down with Steyn clearly not fit.
Updated
18th over: England 35-1 (Compton 6, Hales 22) Piedt again and Hales works his first ball behind square leg for a couple. He doubles up on that next ball, nailing a perfect sweep through the vacant square leg region and sending the ball fizzing on its merry way for four. With that region totally unprotected the sweep offers easy runs for Hales, who, just as I write that, top edges on there for a single.
Mac Millings writes: “You want uncomfortable? My dad once bought leopard-print underwear for my sister. That was an awkward Christmas morning.”
What the hell did you do to this OBO, Rob?
17th over: England 28-1 (Compton 6, Hales 15) Hello again, folks. Look, I understand your despair, your fear, your pants-wetting trepidation. But this is new England. This is a generation of players who grew up watching their heroes regularly win the Ashes. They’ll be fine. Abbott is the man with the post-drinks ball and he finds Compton’s thick inside edge, but the ball thuds safely into his thigh pad. See? Fine.
Updated
16th over: England 28-1 (Hales 15, Compton 6) Hales almost doubles his score from his 48th delivery, slog-sweeping Piedt sweetly into the crowd at midwicket. He almost falls later in the over, pushing nervously at a good one that skids past the outside edge. This is doing plenty for the spinners now, which is great news for England. Anyway, it’s drinks, and time for me to tag in Dan Lucas. Bye!
15th over: England 22-1 (Hales 9, Compton 6) Abbott replaces Morkel. He bowled those last four deliveries when Steyn went off injured, though that was at the other end. He starts with a maiden, most of which I missed because I was typing the below.
“Correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t the entire point of picking Hales in the hope that he’d play an innings like David Warner does?” says Krishnan Patel. “Sorry but we don’t need what Hales is doing right now. Compton is better at that kind of innings and we can strengthen the middle order by getting in Ballance and making Compton open.”
Give him a chance, it’s his bloody debut! Also, he played a loose attacking stroke in the first innings, got out and was criticised. And this is a new-ball pitch. And there is loads of time left in the match. And he has form for smashing it everywhere once he is in, so he can easily make up for lost balls. I know what you mean – you’d want him to be 20 off 46, not nine – but I think in context this is an entirely understandable innings.
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14th over: England 22-1 (Hales 9, Compton 6) Compton steals a second run to third man off Piedt. “There’s no need!” says Bumble, and it was pretty dicey because the two batsmen almost ran into each other in the middle of the pitch. Piedt is getting the occasional delivery to turn sharply, and there’s an optimistic shout for caught behind when a delivery to Hales loops up in the air off the pad. This isn’t the worst Test in which to be down to two seamers, because unless someone goes after Piedt – which would be risky on this pitch – he could probably bowl at that end for the rest of the day.
13th over: England 19-1 (Hales 9, Compton 3) Hales continues his Boycott homage, playing out a maiden from the ever excellent Morkel (6-3-4-0). He has 9 from 42 balls. In other news, here’s a shameless plug.
Whether you love Stuart Broad or hate Stuart Broad, you can't ignore this on Stuart Broad: https://t.co/YCWD99CmJ6 pic.twitter.com/7Tsy2os3E6
— The Cricket Monthly (@cricketmonthly) December 27, 2015
12th over: England 19-1 (Hales 9, Compton 3) Compton gets off the mark, steering Piedt to third man for three. In an unlikely development, Dale Steyn is back on the field. That’s hard to fathom.
@robsmyth0 Would a debutant have advised the captain not to review in the 80s or 90s? No - there was no DRS - but you know what I mean.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) December 28, 2015
Yes, interesting point. It’s hard to know what to believe about the dressing-rooms of the 80s and 90s and, if there was an every-man-for-himself culture, whether that was the fault of the players or selectors. But I know exactly what you mean.
11th over: England 15-1 (Hales 8, Compton 0) Dale Steyn is going to have a scan on his shoulder. That’s really sad news. He may have bowled his last ball in this series – and even in a Test against England. You’d certainly think he’s out of the second Test, which begins on 2 January.
“Surely there are more albums with one or two good cuts than albums that are excellent throughout?” says Phil Podolsky. “Anyway, Senses from the first New Order record, where they haven’t begun to emerge from Curtis’s shadow.” WHAT ARE YOU ALL TALKING AB- ah, I see, this is from the first session.
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10th over: England 13-1 (Hales 6, Compton 0) That was nicely bowled by Piedt, a delivery that skidded on as Cook played outside the line. The Sky commentators are suggesting he has increased his pace from the first innings. Compton, the new batsman, plays an unconvincing shot first ball and drags an inside-edge to leg. Who’d have thought: a Test between England and South Africa in which the spinners are the potential matchwinners?
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WICKET! England 13-1 (Cook b Piedt 7)
A rare double failure for Alastair Cook. He pushed down the wrong line to the offspinner Piedt and was trapped plumb in front. Cook discussed a review with Hales but they decided against it.
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9th over: England 13-0 (Cook 7, Hales 6) Morkel continues, and gets one to lift nastily outside Hales’ off stump. Hales played it well, withdrawing his bat in plenty of time. He looks composed if becalmed. England’s scoring rate is slow but that’s fine because Nick Compton’s not batting and we should only fling abuse for a slow scoring rate when he’s at the crease . The new ball is the threat, so even if they are 40 for none after 20 overs, that’ll be okay – especially as South Africa only have two seamers. They could really cash in after tea.
“Morning Smyth, morning everybody,” says Josh Robinson. “The only way England could feel comfortable would be if they set South Africa more than 450. And even then the predominant feelings would be that the pitch was flattening out, making 450 look chaseable, and that the draw had been brought into play. Anyway, with two mentions of comfort within six overs, is there something you’re trying to tell us?” That I’m wearing satin leopard-skin-print tanga briefs?
8th over: England 13-0 (Cook 7, Hales 6) The offspinner Dane Piedt is into the attack, a consequence of Steyn’s injury. South Africa are breast-high in the malodorous stuff now. But never mind that, we are England fans, so let’s do what we do best: accentuate the negative. If England lose from here, with Piedt taking seven for 46, it’ll be one of their great cock-ups. They lead by 102 against a South Africa team who have three batsmen and two bowlers.
Steyn leaves the field through injury
7th over: England 12-0 (Cook 7, Hales 5) Dale Steyn is injured. It’s not a recurrence of his groin problem but a shoulder injury. He bowled the second ball of his fourth over to Cook and immediately starting feeling his right shoulder. That doesn’t look good at all, and he leaves the field straight away. South Africa are now down to two seamers. It’s great news for England I suppose but it’s hard to take too much pleasure from seeing a champion like Steyn struggle in this way. That could put him out of the series, never mind this Test. Kyle Abbott bowls the last four deliveries of the over.
“Morning Daddy,” says Andy Bradshaw. “Having you back is one of the great Christmas presents, just beaten by the leopard-skin-print tanga briefs your grandmother-in-law gets you, to be ‘racy’. Hales needs to be given the whole year, and I still think Cook’s shot on the first morning was considerably worse than Hales’s, groping with a vertical bat a foot from his body to a ball two foot from the stumps is unforgivable for an opening batsman of his runs & experience, Hales’ shot was more understandable as it was there to be hit, just wrong execution.”
I’m sure the point you made was a good one but my eyes glazed over after the bit about your racy grandma.
6th over: England 9-0 (Cook 7, Hales 2) A good over from Morkel to Hales, who works the last ball for a single. Hales has 2 from 22 balls. Don’t read too much into those statistics. He looks comfortable; it’s just that his attacking strokes aren’t piercing the field at the moment. He’s been beaten twice in this innings but one of those was a jaffa.
5th over: England 8-0 (Cook 7, Hales 1) Hales finally gets off the mark from his 15th delivery, flicking Steyn for a single. Cook then stops Steyn in his run-up because there is a plastic bag floating behind the bowler’s arm. Sometimes there’s so much beauty in Test cricket, I don’t think I can take it.
“Surely this is the ideal situation for Hales to – as everyone seems to bang on about these days – ‘play his natural game’,” says Robert Hillier. “If he gets out playing aggressively not so much of a bother as England are already 90+ runs ahead, but a session of belting the ball around, say a run-a-ball 70, could put the game out of South Africa’s reach regardless of how well the lower order bat.”
Yes I agree. There’s no point him trying to be something he’s not. Obviously you should make some adjustments for Test cricket, but there is a danger of overthinking it. The worst thing for players who fail in Test cricket must be knowing that they weren’t true to themselves. A number of great limited-overs players have had issues adjusting: Fairbrother, Morgan, Bevan, Buttler.
4th over: England 6-0 (Cook 6, Hales 0) Cook leaves a delivery from Morkel that shares a postcode with his off stump, but doesn’t quite hit it. South Africa have started well; often, as Mike Brearley observed, humans prefer to postpone the moment of performance, but South Africa know their best chance of winning this match is to undermine England right now. England lead by 95.
3rd over: England 5-0 (Cook 5, Hales 0) Hales is beaten, trying to cut Steyn. I missed the rest of the over as I was googling names of dry cleaning companies, for reasons that will become apparent below.
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2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Hales 0) Hales’ second ball, from Morkel, is a glorious lifting leg-cutter that mercifully beats the outside edge. Bradman or Smyth might just have nicked it. This is a vital innings for Hales, because if he fails he will be savaged on the old social media platforms, and once that happens the whole situation has a habit of perpetuating itself. He really needs to be given seven Tests to play in peace, but This is England 2015 and that isn’t going to happen.
“Good songs on bad albums,” says Ian Forth. “Isn’t the classic example This Is England on Cut The Crap by The Clash?” I have no idea what you are talking about but yes, yes.
1st over: England 4-0 (Cook 4, Hales 0) England start their second innings on 89 for nought. You would think they’d want at least another 210 to feel comfortable. This has been a new-ball pitch, so the next hour is pretty darn important. Cook gets off a pair by tucking the second delivery from Steyn to fine leg for four – but he almost falls off the final delivery, edging a good one not far short of gully.
@robsmyth0 First wicket to be Cook? Or shall we witness the virtual end of Hales' Test career? Or a 100 run stand? (Yeah, right!)
— Ravi Nair (@palfreyman1414) December 28, 2015
It’s a Hales from me. But even if he fails, even if he’s caught at cover first ball, we really need to refrain from this knee-jerk horse pucky that is ruining society.
Morning! Look, I can’t see the future. I’m not Biff Tannen. I haven’t returned from the year 2031 with a full set of Wisdens from 2016-30. But it’s possible that, if this match plays out as it should, we may one day reflect on this as the Test in which a promising young England team took a significant step towards full maturity.
I know they won the Ashes in the summer – a weirdly underrated triumph, even if some of us did call it in advance – but it was a frenetic series that had a one-off feel. This, by contrast, has been a controlled, classical performance so far, and bodes really well for the future. If they win the match. If. DON’T BLOODY MENTION BARBADOS.
Lunch
Rob Smyth will take you through the first hour of the second session. You can email him here.
I’ll leave you with this decent effort, which ignores the best Led Zeppelin track The Rain Song.
@DanLucas86 Got to be room for "Over The Hills And Far Away" from the otherwise dreadful Houses Of The Holy I would have thought...
— Unknown Pleasures (@Vinylnet) December 28, 2015
You have to feel for Pete Salmon:
“Hi DanGotta say, things are getting pretty weird with me. On Christmas Eve I was getting my cheap charity shop stocking fillers, and the local shop had a coloured vinyl box set of The Art of McCartney, which I resisted the urge to buy, even as a joke, not liking McCartney. Top of the Pops from 1978 that night kicked off with Mull of Kintyre. In my stocking I got a second hand Thriller cd, featuring Paul McCartney. Then my daughter Pearl randomly decided to listen to Abbey Road on Christmas Day, after which she watched an episode of Glee, which featured a load of McCartney songs. Yesterday, I felt the curse had lifted, and then today I logged on to OBO. I don’t know what is happening. I just know I want it to stop.”
England took six for 77 in that session. A mildly annoying half-century stand between Elgar and Steyn aside, it was pretty perfect for the tourists. Broad got them off to a perfect start, castling Bavuma with the second ball of the day, then Moeen found some ripping turn to tear out the lower-middle order. Steyn then provided decent support for Elgar to grind out a quite excellent century and just about keep his team in this, before Finn polished things off quite efficiently with the second new ball.
I assume that’s lunch, just waiting for confirmation.
End of innings: South Africa 214
82nd over: South Africa 214 (Elgar 118) Not necessarily a change of pace, but a change of style from the first innings as Finn, rather than Woakes, shares the second new ball. He strikes immediately, too, getting rid of Piedt with his very first delivery - a perfect line and length far too good for the spinner. He comes round the wicket to Morkel, who has opened the batting in a Test match previously. He doesn’t last long though and England have a lead of 89. Dean Elgar becomes the first South Africa batsman to carry his bat since Gary Kirsten in 1998.
Wicket! Morkel c Root b Finn 0
Round the wicket and back of a length, the leftie prods at it and nicks to second slip where Root holds a sharp catch at chest height.
Wicket! Piedt c Bairstow b Finn 1
Piedt looks to drive straight down the ground but gets the line wrong, feathering a lovely length ball behind. England will want to wrap this up now.
New ball taken
81st over: South Africa 214-8 (Piedt 1, Elgar 118) You will be completely unsurprised to hear that the new ball is in the hands of Broad, with Piedt on strike. He very nearly has his man too with a short ball, which the tailender gloves down into the ground a foot or so away from off stump. On the telly, Athers is asking whether Broad is in his prime at 29; I am 30 in a couple of weeks and fearing my peak Test years are slipping away. The fifth ball of the over is edged, but drops short of slip and they nab a single.
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80th over: South Africa 213-8 (Piedt 0, Elgar 118) Moeen, with four for 67 now having come back very nicely after taking a bit of tap yesterday, bowls what I imagine will be the final over with the old ball. Elgar goes after the final ball, hammering a sweep out to deep square, where Finn dives and palms it back in quite magnificently to save a couple.
@DanLucas86 Another one-song-album I recall is Joan Osborne's "One of Us" from the otherwise crap "Relish" (had obligatory Dylan cover too).
— Ravi Nair (@palfreyman1414) December 28, 2015
79th over: South Africa 211-8 (Piedt 0, Elgar 116) Four slips and a gully for Dane Piedt, Test average 6.33. They are not called into play.
John Starbuck writes: “My wife and I first got together over an argument about whether you could dance to Band On The Run. You can, of course, provided you’re a very bad dancer. Strangely, it never became Our Album.”
78th over: South Africa 210-8 (Piedt 0, Elgar 114) Cries of “catch it” as Steyn turns one to the right of Taylor at short leg, but in truth it was always perfectly safe and they jog a single. Elgar adds another as the wind picks up and it’s that wind that probably does for Steyn. England get the breakthrough before the new ball. We have 25 minutes or so until lunch, but they can take another half hour if South Africa are nine down. I hope that doesn’t happen, frankly, as I could use a comfort break.
Wicket! Steyn c Woakes b Moeen 17
Steyn goes for a big hit down the ground and the ball swirls around in the wind. It makes for a tough catch and Woakes juggles it at mid off, but does the job safely enough.
77th over: South Africa 207-7 (Steyn 16, Elgar 113) Ben Stokes is going to have a couple of overs with the old ball. Elgar pushes the second ball for a single to reduce the deficit to exactly 100, before Steyn is denied runs from a good back foot drive by an equally good diving stop at extra cover. He goes for a wild slash from the fourth ball and edges it wide of diving second slip for the four runs needed to bring up the 50 partnership.
76th over: South Africa 202-7 (Steyn 12, Elgar 112) There’s next to no turn any more for Moeen. England very much in a holding pattern now. They review a not out against Steyn, purely because they might as well with the reviews topped up in four overs.
Phil Russell writes: “The ‘good songs on bad albums’ debate seems to be either an iffy early album showing elements of future promise, or a later post-peak album redeemed by some of the old magic. I’ll nominate Creep on Pablo Honey (Radiohead) and Sunday Bloody Sunday on War (U2) for the former and Songbird on Heathen Chemistry (Oasis) and Yes by on The Sound of (post-Suede) McAlmond and Butler.
Alternatively a one-hit wonder that didn’t fulfil the initial promise, which made you enjoy the lusciousness of track 1, and then left you disappointed the remaining 9 didn’t come anywhere close. “Life in a Northern Town”
Pablo Honey also had Thinking About You, Stop Whispering, I Can’t, Lurgee and Blow Out. War is an outstanding album, among U2’s best. And Heathen Chemistry was dreadful throughout.
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No he's not
There’s a good six inches between bat and ball.
Review! Is Steyn out?
Rod Tucker says no to an inside edge, looping up off the pad to short leg, but England review immediately.
75th over: South Africa 202-7 (Steyn 12, Elgar 112) “I’m not living, I’m just killing time,” sang Radiohead in 2000 and the same could be said of England now, as they await the new ball - the dog is currently sniffing round my feet and I reckon this ball would make a decent chew toy for her. Elgar calls Steyn through for a wholly unnecessary sharp single and the tailender is forced to dive for his ground, before taking a far more comfortable single of his own a couple of balls later.
74th over: South Africa 200-7 (Steyn 11, Elgar 111) Still no rest for Moeen, though I imagine that’s because the new ball is due in six overs and Broad is presumably being rested for that. Elgar moves on to a personal Nelson with a push out to cover, then Moeen comes round the wicket to Steyn. Down the track comes the fast man, looking to smash it over long on, and he gets a thick outside edge up and down to third man for four. Next ball he defends and gets a thick inside edge a yard or so wide of short leg. A heave into the on side brings two from the final ball and the team 200.
Ben Heywood emails with a correction: “Maybe I’m Amazed is from the album McCartney and predates Wings. I have it on vinyl somewhere in the attic. Much as most of McCartney’s post-Beatles output was a bit drippy I dislike the adulation Lennon seems to receive over the same period for what amounts to about four good songs.”
73rd over: South Africa 193-7 (Steyn 5, Elgar 110) Two more to Elgar as he skews a thick outside edge along the floor down to third man. England’s lead has been whittled down to 111... make that 110 as Elgar smashes a bit of short filth through point on the cut, only to pick out a fielder.
“This is lovely, old-fashioned, hard-to-call, up-and-down cricket,” writes Robert Wilson. It does exactly what it says on the tin. But, Dan, you need a family filter on some of these musical disgressions. I’m deep in PTSD now that you’ve mentioned Mull of Kintyre. My Ma loved that ****ing song, so it ended up doing to my childhood what Elkie Brooks did to Dylan Moran’s. If I wasn’t curled up in a ball of tears and snot, I’d ring in to complain.”
72nd over: South Africa 190-7 (Steyn 5, Elgar 107) Moeen continues and Elgar pushes him for a single into the on side. It might be worth getting Broad back on for Moeen soon, as his early threat looks to have been neutered a touch as the ball has softened.
71st over: South Africa 189-7 (Steyn 5, Elgar 106) Woakes comes on for the first time this morning. Elgar must be trembling. He’s out of the firing line straight away with a push to midwicket. This partnership is now worth 33, which is the exact number required to call it “frustrating”.
70th over: South Africa 188-7 (Steyn 5, Elgar 105) England are well on top, but they could well do with another wicket soonish to expose the “proper” tail and give themselves a shout of bowling South Africa out before lunch. Elgar backs away from one that bounces up and hammers a cut out into the gap at extra cover; Root chases it down well and saves one.
@DanLucas86 "Band on the Run" was a decent album overall. Wings DID do some tripe but why so much hate from the emailers?
— Ravi Nair (@palfreyman1414) December 28, 2015
They have half a dozen decent tracks, I’d say. I saw McCartney in concert earlier this year and everything sounded pretty bad, mind. Plus he did Temporary Secretary, which is just a non-festive Wonderful Christmas Time.
Dean Elgar reaches his century
69th over: South Africa 184-7 (Steyn 4, Elgar 102) After drinks - for both the players and your OBOer, who put the kettle on with just over an hour to go in this extended session - Root continues to Elgar. The opener tickles one down the leg side and hares off for three to bring up a fine, hugely important hundred that’s kept his side in the match. It came from 211 balls, is his fourth in Tests and is celebrated emphatically. Steyn then gets a single before Elgar punches to deep extra cover for two more.
68th over: South Africa 177-7 (Steyn 3, Elgar 96) Two slips in place for Elgar as Moeen comes back round the wicket, probing for England’s fourth wicket in the session. A nudged single brings the right-hander Steyn back on strike and there’s a huge shout when he gets hit on the pad. It’s sliding down leg though and England wisely opt not to review. Steyn slams one down to mid off, where it’s parried, and they take one.
Brian Draper writes: “If you’re playing requests this morning, I’d like to hear Shame by Nineties alternative indie rockers Eat. It had what the Aussies call spunk. I tried so, so hard to love the rest of the (dirgeful) album Epicure, but I failed. Nice name though - as was the monicker of the lead singer, Ange Dolittle. Please dedicate this one to anyone who knows me.”
I don’t know it, but here you go. This better be family friendly.
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67th over: South Africa 175-7 (Steyn 2, Elgar 95) This is interesting and probably a good idea: Joe Root comes on with the ball spinning for only his second over of the innings. Elgar tucks a full delivery into the on side to bring his century two closer, then adds the same as he gets a thick, uppish outside edge from a flashy drive. A push out to deep cover from the last ball moves him to 95.
66th over: South Africa 170-7 (Steyn 2, Elgar 90) Three from over the wicket, two from round, then back over for the last ball. Steyn edges the latter for a couple to get off the mark from his 18th ball.
65th over: South Africa 168-7 (Steyn 0, Elgar 90) A bumper has Elgar in a wee bit of trouble as he bottom edges a hook into his pads and completely loses track of the ball. A probing first five balls, well negotiated by the opener, then he goes too straight and Elgar whips it to deep midwicket to move into the 90s.
@DanLucas86 Sgt P isn't their best album, not even in the top 5 (R, HDN, RS, AR, TB) but it's ok. Wings, now. One decent song? Nah.
— David Acaster (@mwasereboy) December 28, 2015
64th over: South Africa 166-7 (Steyn 0, Elgar 88) Now Elgar faces Moeen for the first time today. In the left-hander’s favour, there’s not so much rough outside his off stump, so it might not turn so sharply away from him. Not that that helped Duminy earlier. A single gets Steyn back on strike and he plays out the over.
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63rd over: South Africa 165-7 (Steyn 0, Elgar 87) Elgar drives Finn’s first ball exquisitely along the ground, straight to the man at cover for the most beautiful of no runs. He works the final ball of the over round the corner for a single to retain the strike.
“Evening Dan,” writes Phil Withall, confusingly. “I hold no torch for the Beatles but really must object to the praise for Wings, a band that seemed to exist mainly so Paul could write twee love songs for Linda and inflicted Mull of Kintyre on us. I may be ignorant but I simply don’t get it.”
I’m not a massive fan, but Maybe I’m Amazed is a hell of a tune. Plus if you play it backwards you’ll hear a really ripping recipe for lentil soup.
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62nd over: South Africa 164-7 (Steyn 0, Elgar 86) Moeen has a slip, a leg slip and a short leg in for Steyn. The second of these is unable to prevent one that turns from outside off down the leg side from running down the fine leg fence for four byes.
61st over: South Africa 160-7 (Steyn 0, Elgar 86) South Africa have scored 19-3 this morning and will be relieved to see Broad given a rest. Finn replaces him and is immediately pushed down the ground for a nicely timed four by Elgar, whom I’ve denied a run in the score for a couple of overs now. The final ball of the over is a bouncer that Elgar ducks under and Bairstow takes around knee height.
@DanLucas86 Effect of T20 matches on cricket commentary: Mbwanga describes Abbott's 6-ball innings as a "vigil"...
— Chris Langmead (@chrislangmead) December 28, 2015
I assumed he was joking, but you never know with Pommie.
60th over: South Africa 156-7 (Steyn 0, Elgar 81) Abbott is unable to deal with prodigious turn and is similarly unable to improve on his Test average of 6.83. Dale Steyn comes out with his team in the malodorous stuff; don’t be surprised to see him give it a biff against the spinner, who immediately gets a deep midwicket fielder. Steyn is watchful and plays out a (wicket) maiden though.
James Debens writes again: “Seems a bit quiet on the email front. Here’s a controversial pick that’ll raise more stink than a bomb in one of those holes in the ground at festivals: A Day in the Life on Sgt Pepper. I can’t stand that overproduced, twee pap. I’d rather listen to Wings: the band (on the run) that the Beatles could have been.”
I’m not a fan of Sgt. Pepper either, Alan James.
Wicket! Abbott c Taylor b Moeen 0
Yep there’s a thick inside edge on to the pads. That was a poor initial decision from Rod Tucker and a very good catch from Taylor, diving forward.
Review! Is Abbott out?
Moeen gets a lot of bounce and England celebrate immediately as it pops up to short leg. Given not out but they review straight away...
59th over: South Africa 156-6 (Abbott 0, Elgar 81) Broad continues, round the wicket again to Elgar and creating rough outside the right-hander’s off stump for Moeen from the other end. It’s fine stuff, until he overpitches on leg stump and Elgar times it very nicely down the ground for four to long on. What odds him carrying his bat here?
Just switch over to watch Jacques Kallis in the @BBL South Africa...
— Carly Adno (@CarlyW226) December 28, 2015
58th over: South Africa 152-6 (Abbott 0, Elgar 77) Time for a change early on day three and time for some spin, as Moeen comes into the attack from the Old Fort End, replacing Finn. One more for Elgar, pushed to midwicket, and that’s the team 150. Still not halfway to England’s total though and they’re now 60% of their way through the batting lineup, as Duminy prods an excellent delivery to slip. That was a beauty, in fact, straightening from round the wicket. Abbott’s first ball turns back in sharply and loops up off the pad, his second beats bat then Buttler going away for a couple of byes, then the second misses off stump by millimetres. Lovely from the spinner.
Wicket! Duminy c Stokes b Moeen 2
Quicker from Moeen and it turns just a fraction away from the left-hander. He plays down the wrong line and Stokes takes an excellent catch, low to his right at first slip.
57th over: South Africa 149-5 (Duminy 2, Elgar 77) There have been rumours flying around this morning that AB de Villiers is considering retiring from Test cricket. Thankfully, that’s not the case, but apparently he is looking to reduce his workload. It does seem ludicrous that they’re making him keep wicket but, given that De Kock is a bit pants, needs must. One from the over, nurdled out to square leg in pleasingly Collingwoodesque fashion by Elgar.
56th over: South Africa 148-5 (Duminy 2, Elgar 76) Now Finn comes round the wicket and Elgar pushes him down the ground for one. Duminy then ducks into a bouncer, that just glances him on the shoulder. He’s fine though on a still slow wicket. Finn’s line is nice and straight to Duminy, keeping him honest.
55th over: South Africa 147-5 (Duminy 2, Elgar 75) Round the wicket to Elgar, is Broad, and Elgar moves to 75 with a single tucked off the hips. A replay of the Bavumba wicket confirms that the ball from Broad kept a good foot and a half lower than usual. Duminy works two out to midwicket to get off the mark when Broad goes back over the wicket.
“The second Stone Roses album came out in my second year at university,” writes James Debens. “It was ‘everywhere, like shit in a field’, to quote The Royle Family. There was a lot of bilge in the Britpop years, really, although I’m nominating Tattva.”
I’m writing this in Manchester, old skool Guardian, style, so I’d best be careful what I say about the Roses. They were godawful though.
54th over: South Africa 144-5 (Duminy 0, Elgar 74) Tamsin Greig Steven Finn opens things up from the other end and his first ball, floated full and wide of off, is guided nicely wide of third slip, along the ground and away for four by Elgar. A couple of balls later another half volley, straighter this time, is pushed out to deep midwicket for a couple, then a quick single to square leg finishes the over.
Sigh.
Hmm, Fazeer Mohammed banned from interviewing West Indies players. Interesting way to treat your only journo on tour https://t.co/VepQxrjilG
— Daniel Brettig (@danbrettig) December 28, 2015
53rd over: South Africa 137-5 (Duminy 0, Elgar 67) Here we go then, Broad from the Umgeni end to Bavuma, but not for long! This is going to be such a crucial morning and if England can run through the remaining six five batsmen then they’ll have a big lead on a pitch that’s going to break up and, in terms of bounce, is about as trustworthy as Monty Burns. JP Duminy, with his 2015 average of 11-odd, is the new man and he sees off the remainder of the over, which came from round the wicket.
“Sing is the best track on Leisure,” reckons Sean McNeill, “which isn’t that bad an album.” It’s a bit Stone Roses for me, and I hate the Stone Roses.
Wicket! Bavuma b Broad 10
Second ball of the day and Broad gets his fourth! It kept very low outside off and Bavuma was in trouble as soon as he looked to smack it off the back foot. He’s leaden footed and a thick inside edge sends the ball crashing into the stumps.
Broad will open things up...
@DanLucas86 What price Broad gets a head on and takes the remaining 6 in 6 overs? Saw Star Wars yesterday and, well, anything is possible.
— Ravi Nair (@palfreyman1414) December 28, 2015
That would be wonderful to see, wouldn’t it? Not just from an England perspective, but for someone who loves to see snarling fast bowling. And Star Wars was brilliant, wasn’t it?
Five minutes until the start of play. On the good songs on bad albums note, I give you Blur’s There’s No Other Way from Leisure.
Paul Ewart writes: “I know this is a (dysfunctional) family site, but watching Bowie prancing around in early 80s clobber is the best advertisement for the creative/destructive potential of drugs and late 70s East German anomie I’ve ever seen.”
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Stuart Broad has told his England team mates to cut out the cock ups. Here’s supreme beard owner Ali Martin on why Draco Malfoy is now the most powerful of England’s bowlers.
Robert Wilson writes: “That’s an absolutely cracking preamble, wise, fair and funny. Nice one. But a tip for the top, they’re outing you about when you wrote it...”
Aw thanks Robert. Yes I might have got that one out of the way shortly after the close yesterday so I could watch the U2 gig on TV.
We have our first email of the morning. “Hi Dan.” Hi, Richard Woods. “I like the idea of outstanding songs on bad albums as a theme for the day. How about Loving the Alien on Bowie’s otherwise very ordinary Tonight as another example?”
That’s not a bad shout at all. Any more, folks? Wilco’s Impossible Germany?
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If you thought the West Indies were bad, bloody hell, Martin Guptill.
Preamble
Morning, folks. When I started here at Guardian Towers* a colleague told me that he wasn’t overly keen on the more technical side of sports punditry and analysis. To be so scientific, so precise (I’m paraphrasing), killed the magic of sport – the inspiration, the auspicious pieces of fortune, the unforgettable, defining moments. After all, without those, what is sport?
The first two days of this Test have had very few of those moments. A couple of very good new ball bursts, aside, what’s memorable about this Test so far? The highest score in the match is a hard-fought 85 – decent from Compton but hardly Athertonian – and the best bowler on either side, Dale Steyn, only showed glimpses of his magnificent snarling menace; how good a match can this be when Steyn is bowling at 76mph with a new ball? What kind of memorable magic is he going to conjure with that?
This is cricket though, and cricket is unique. This is a fascinating match, with South Africa 166 behind with six wickets remaining. Not a terrible situation for them to be in at all, until you consider that they have three batsmen you would trust to get a score and all three have already come and gone. They have an unheralded top-order batsman well set, but you wonder how long he can last if Stuart Broad gets his dander up. There are parallels with the England innings here.
Advantage to the tourists then? Well not necessarily. Broad was outstanding yesterday but his supporting cast is questionable – think of him as Wild Wild Life on Talking Heads’ True stories. Chris Woakes looked more threatening than Steven Finn and, generally, Pixar films are more threatening than Chris Woakes. Moeen Ali took a wicket, but you would imagine he will find more turn and be a more dangerous bowler if he can regularly land the ball on the strip.
This Test is wonderful simply because it’s bucking the increasingly worrying modern trend for the result to be confirmed at some point midway through the second day (yeah I’m looking at you, Australia v West Indies, you utter disgrace). You’d have to be an idiot to call it at this point, but don’t let that dissuade you from sending me your predictions.
Play begins at 9.30am local time, which, I think, is 7.30am GMT. If it’s not then I’m in for a nasty shock.
*Technically “here” is actually my girlfriend’s sofa, in my pyjamas.
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