Vic Marks has filed his report from Centurion, which is my cue to get back to celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Thanks for your company and emails. Please join Tanya in the morning for day two of what could be a fascinating match. Bye!
Here’s Sam Curran
“It’s pretty even, I think. Quinton de Kock probably got away from us a little bit too quickly but to get him out so that he couldn’t bat with the tail was pretty good. Fair play to him, he rode his luck and got a good score.
“I started cramping towards the end and Stokesy was dehydrated. It was so hot out there and there wasn’t much breeze. It’s my first time playing in South Africa and it was enjoyable.
“The ball swung beautifully all day and there was a lot of carry in the wicket. We’re pretty pleased. We want to take the last wicket as quickly as possible, then bat as big as we can and put some overs in their legs.”
Stumps Honours are pretty even after an interesting, topsy-turvy day of Test cricket. England’s decision to bowl first looked a very good one when they reduced South Africa to 111 for five, but Quinton de Kock’s thrilling, hazardous 95 changed the moodand hurried the home side towards a useful score.
Sam Curran picked up deserved, Test-best figures of four for 57, while Stuart Broad (three for 52) also played an important part. There were lots of useful batting contributions for South Africa, including 39 from Zubayr Hamza and a composed 33 from the debutant Dwaine Pretorius.
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WICKET! South Africa 277-9 (Rabada b Broad 12)
Broad ends a mixed day for England on a high, nipping one back to bowl Kagiso Rabada through the gate. That was a beautiful delivery, and the wicket means it will be the last ball of the day.
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82nd over: South Africa 275-8 (Philander 28, Rabada 12) Rabada edges Anderson all along the ground for yet another boundary to third man, and then rifles a drive through Broad at mid-off for four more. An exasperated Anderson has a pop at everyone and no-one.
81st over: South Africa 267-8 (Philander 28, Rabada 4) A red-faced Stuart Broad takes the second new ball and is unfortunate not to pick up Philander with a beauty that jags back past the inside edge. Philander responds with a punishing drive through extra cover for four. I think this is a really useful score for South Africa.
80th over: South Africa 263-8 (Philander 24, Rabada 4) Joe Denly hurries through the 80th over, thus allowing England a few extra minutes with the second new ball.
79th over: South Africa 262-8 (Philander 22, Rabada 4) Archer has been better since tea, with figures of 8-2-14-1. In the first two sessions they were 11-2-51-0.
“Your all being to pedantic,” says Matt Dony. “A mussel is a mussel.”
And if that email is anything to go by, Boxing Day eggnog is Boxing Day eggnog.
78th over: South Africa 261-8 (Philander 22, Rabada 4) Rabada edges Curran through the vacant third slip area for four. I’d love to know how many runs England have conceded to third man today.
The bits I’ve seen, Sam Curran has bowled beautifully. Switching from the cricket to Mary Poppins has been the perfect Boxing Day
— Graham Onions (@BunnyOnions) December 26, 2019
77th over: South Africa 257-8 (Philander 22, Rabada 0) A short ball from Archer is slapped to the point boundary by Philander. His impertinence is punished with another short delivery that kicks to hit him in the ribs. There are 13 overs still be bowled today, though we’ll probably only get five or six as play will end in 25 minutes.
“Does that mean that the triceps connect three parts of the body?” asks Jim Bax. “Arf!”
76th over: South Africa 252-8 (Philander 17, Rabada 0) “Simon Mesner is correct,” says John Starbuck. “I too looked up the dictionary definition of biceps but thought a simplified version would be more OBO-acceptable. It just goes to show one shouldn’t try to second-guess things.”
So what’s a forcep?
75th over: South Africa 252-8 (Philander 17, Rabada 0) “Biceps,” says James Debens. “It’s all Latin. How can you comment on Curran without a basic grasp of Latin? This country!”
WICKET! South Africa 252-8 (Maharaj c Stokes b Archer 6)
Jofra Archer gets his first wicket of the match, with Maharaj edging an awkward delivery to Stokes at second slip. It was another low catch but this time Stokes was confident he had taken it cleanly. The umpires went upstairs, with a soft signal of out, and replays showed it was a lovely take at ankle height. There was not a flicker of celebration from Archer, a reflection of the day he has had.
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74th over: South Africa 247-7 (Philander 17, Maharaj 2) If England are serious about selecting on merit rather than continuing to homage the glorious Gerrard-Lampard era of English football, Sam Curran will play the next Test. That will make things interesting if England decide they need a full-time spinner.
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REVIEW! South Africa 246-7 (Maharaj not out 1)
Sam Curran gets his first Test five-for, and by flip does he deserve it. He has bowled beautifully all day. Maharaj is trapped in front by another textbook inswinger... and there was an inside edge, so balls to all the above.
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73rd over: South Africa 246-7 (Philander 16, Maharaj 1) Jofra Archer replaces Joe Denly. One of the many jobs England have pencilled him in for over the next decade is cleaning up the tail. His first over doesn’t really threaten any hoovering, with Maharaj ignoring a series of deliveries just outside off stump.
“Dear Rob,” says Simon Mesner. “It pains me to correct a pedant but the biceps muscles (biceps brachii in the arm and biceps femoris in the thigh - part of the ‘hamstrings’ group) are so called as they have two heads not because they connect two parts of the body. John Starbuck, oh dear.”
I’m staying out of this from now on. It’s all going to kick off, I can sense it.
72nd over: South Africa 246-7 (Philander 15, Maharaj 1) The new batsman Maharaj just manages to get a bat on his first delivery, an inswinger that would otherwise have trapped him plumb LBW. Curran is one wicket away from his first Test five-for.
WICKET! South Africa 245-7 (de Kock c Buttler b Curran 95)
This is brilliant bowling from Sam Curran. He returns to the attack, at the end of a long day, and dismisses de Kock five short of a century with a lovely outswinger. It shaved the edge as de Kock pushed forward defensively, and Jos Buttler took a simple catch. That’s Curran’s fourth wicket of the day, and I’m not sure he has bowled better in his burgeoning Test career.
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71st over: South Africa 244-6 (de Kock 95, Philander 15) de Kock has played a decreasingly irresponsible innings. You might even call it an increasingly responsible one. He has even resisted the considerable temptation to reach his century by smashing Joe Denly for six, instead dealing in no-risk singles and dot balls.
70th over: South Africa 242-6 (de Kock 94, Philander 14) Philander is beaten by Anderson, and thick edges the next ball for four. Though England haven’t been at their best today, they’ve also been pretty unfortunate. The upshot of all that is that South Africa are in a strong position on an awkward pitch.
“Yep, that’s not so bad at all, Mac Millings,” says John Starbuck. “Well done. However, when it comes to verse I am very difficult to satisfy. You also need to try it on a couple of pre-teen girls to see if they can come up with appropriate actions to perform it in the playground. Thus lies immortality.”
Sometimes I doubt Millings’ commitment to Sparkle Motion.
69th over: South Africa 237-6 (de Kock 93, Philander 10) The part-time legspinner Joe Denly comes into the attack. His first over is a good one, with a bit of bounce and a couple of unsuccessful hacks from Philander.
“There are people in the basement bar I’m in watching the Brighton Spurs game wondering why I’m on my feet applauding my smartphone,” says Tom Atkins. “Chapeau, Mac Millings.”
68th over: South Africa 236-6 (de Kock 92, Philander 10) Ah, Ben Stokes is back on the field, so perhaps he doesn’t have the team bug. Anderson’s 18th over the day is a quiet affair, save for one delivery that pops from a length to beat Philander.
“Pedantry Corner: the singular of biceps is biceps,” says John Starbuck. “No such word as bicep (it could, almost, be an unusual mushroom), as biceps refers to a muscle connecting two major parts of a body.”
Well, I’ll be dipped in Deep Heat. I didn’t know that at all.
67th over: South Africa 235-6 (de Kock 91, Philander 10) Philander is defending solidly, bicep-endangering balls notwithstanding, and England’s bowlers are starting to look drained. I think South africa are in an excellent position now. That’s drinks.
Oh lordy, he did it.
“Your wish came true, John Starbuck,” says Mac Millings. “Merry Christmas!”
On the first day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
A Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the second day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the third day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the fourth day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the fifth day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Faf, Old, Singh,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the sith day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Hick, Priest, Alleyne,
Faf, Old, Singh,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the seventh day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Bevan, Swann, Ashwinning,
Hick, Priest, Alleyne,
Faf, Old, Singh,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the eighth day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Speight, Hayden, Wilkin(son),
Bevan, Swann, Ashwinning,
Hick, Priest, Alleyne,
Faf, Old, Singh,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the ninth day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Narine, Wade, a-Lance Cairns,
Speight, Hayden, Wilkin(son),
Bevan, Swann, Ashwinning,
Hick, Priest, Alleyne,
Faf, Old, Singh,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the tenth day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Len, Lord’s, Duleeping,
Narine, Wade, a-Lance Cairns,
Speight, Hayden, Wilkin(son),
Bevan, Swann, Ashwinning,
Hick, Priest, Alleyne,
Faf, Old, Singh,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the eleventh day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
XI, Piper, Pycroft,
Len, Lord’s, Duleeping
Narine, Wade, a-Lance Cairns,
Speight, Hayden, Wilkin(son),
Bevan, Swann, Ashwinning,
Hick, Priest, Alleyne,
Faf, Old, Singh,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.On the twelfth day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Selve, Johnners, Cummins,
XI, Piper, Pycroft,
Len, Lord’s, Duleeping,
Narine, Wade, a-Lance Cairns,
Speight, Hayden, Wilkin(son),
Bevan, Swann, Ashwinning,
Hick, Priest, Alleyne,
Faf, Old, Singh,
Moores, Collie, Bird,
Sri, French, Ben,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.
66th over: South Africa 234-6 (de Kock 90, Philander 10) de Kock clubs Anderson down the ground for four, a shot of vague contempt, and flicks a single to move into the nineties. England, on top for most of the first two sessions, are now struggling.
65th over: South Africa 228-6 (de Kock 85, Philander 9) Yet another streaky but effective shot from de Kock, who kitchen-sinks Broad over the slips for four more. England have conceded so many runs to third man today. de Kock is one away from equalling his highest Test score at No6. His five hundreds to date all came at No7.
64th over: South Africa 222-6 (de Kock 79, Philander 9) Philander is hit on the right bicep by a vicious lifter from Anderson. That kicked spectacularly from a length. Philander must have been tempted to smile once the pain subsided, because it suggests batting fourth will not much fun - particularly against a wicket-to-wicket bowler like Philander.
Philander edges wide of second slip for four to end another exasperating over for England, whose Christmas cheer is starting to evaporate. Since slipping to 111 for five, South Africa have doubled their score for the loss of only one more wicket.
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63rd over: South Africa 217-6 (de Kock 78, Philander 5) Ben Stokes is suffering from dehydration and has felt unwell since tea, which suggests he has caught the bug. If so, you’d think England would want him nowhere near the dressing-room for the next couple of days at least.
de Kock carries on merrily, slicing the new bowler Broad up and over the cordon for four. This has the feel of one of those matchwinning counter-attacks from Sam Curran against India in 2018 - specifically the 78 at the Ageas Bowl. England appeal optimistically for LBW with de Kock on 78. It pitched a million miles outside leg, literphorically.
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62nd over: South Africa 212-6 (de Kock 74, Philander 5) Archer off, Anderson on. It looks like he wants to bore de Kock out by bowling wide of off stump, a tactic that almost works when de Kock inside edges wide of leg stump.
61st over: South Africa 211-6 (de Kock 73, Philander 5) Sam Curran goes around the wicket and almost knocks Philander off his feet with a terrific yorker. Philander just managed to dig it out before nodding respectfully at Curran. Excellent stuff from Curran, who has been comfortably the pick of the England attack. His figures are 15-5-48-3.
60th over: South Africa 208-6 (de Kock 70, Philander 5) Another accurate over from Archer, a maiden to Philander. Apparently Ben Stokes is off the field, and may be the latest man to have caught the bug that ruled Ollie Pope, Chris Woakes and Jack Leach out of this game.
59th over: South Africa 208-6 (de Kock 70, Philander 5) An accurate over from Curran to de Kock, who almost drags an attempted pull back onto the stumps. de Kock has lost a bit of rhythm. He reached fifty off 45 balls; since then he has scored 20 from 47 deliveries.
58th over: South Africa 207-6 (de Kock 70, Philander 5) de Kock is beaten, trying to uppercut a trampolining bouncer. This is a better spell from Archer, with decent intensity and nothing particularly loose; since tea he has conceded five from three overs.
“Merry post-Christmas, Rob and everyone,” says Guy Hornsby. “I’m with Matt Dony on this one. As an equal fan of rugby and cricket (umbrella term: disappointment) I do think of Dan Lucas when we’ve been knee-deep in some recent sporting uber-moments. I wonder, of course, what he’d have done with both of Stokes’ fairytales at Headingley and Lord’s this summer, and Cook’s retirement ton. But also to have seen not only his euphoria of England’s hammering of the All Blacks and even more so, the capitulation in the final, which surely would’ve been replete with 90s, angst-ridden music references. Which brings us back nicely to here. Are we going to be The Bends or Idioteque by close tonight? It’s all poorer without him.”
57th over: South Africa 204-6 (de Kock 69, Philander 4) de Kock, who has played with greater sobriety since tea, works Curran for a single to bring up the 200. Philander waves a drive for four to get off the mark and then survives a biggish LBW appeal from a Curran inswinger. That looked slightly better than the previous two, but not good enough for England to risk their last review.
Ah, replays show it was pitching outside leg.
56th over: South Africa 199-6 (de Kock 68, Philander 0) A beautiful lifter from Archer hits de Kock on the glove and loops to safety on the off side. It’s abundantly clear to anyone who has watched him this year that Jofra Archer has the potential to be the greatest sportsman of all time. Talking of which...
“Archer, yet another English sportsman the media has blown up into a superstar before he has done anything,” says Andrew Hurley. “I live in France, a country that has 3 rugby players with much more potential and performances in the bank than Archer - yet - no bluster, no getting ahead of themselves, they are simply regarded as promising players and there is no need felt by any section of the media to go further. The question that should be asked around Archer is not how he is performing, but the standards invented by the media (Guardian included) who feel an incessant need to hype any player with any promise - when that has been corrected, Archer can be viewed as a promising player and his performances assessed accordingly.”
Merry Christmas! (I think it’s a bit more complicated than that, by the way. For example Sam Curran’s figures and achievements are almost unprecedented for an English 21-year-old, yet he has been received with caution, even suspicion, as well as the inevitable enthusiasm.)
55th over: South Africa 198-6 (de Kock 67, Philander 0) The new batsman is Vernon Philander. He’s an excellent N08, as England know from that famous Test at Lord’s in 2012.
WICKET! South Africa 198-6 (Pretorius c Root b Curran 33)
Sam Curran gets his third wicket! Pretorious, who survived a ludicrous LBW review from England off the previous delivery, fenced at a length ball and edged to Root at second slip. That’s another good catch from Root. It was almost a no-ball, but Curran had a little bit behind the line. The debutant Pretorius has gone for an assured 33.
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54th over: South Africa 191-5 (de Kock 65, Pretorius 27) Archer continues after tea, and jags one back to cut Pretorius in half. Archer has bowled in short spells today, which makes sense in almost every way. But it was noticeable that, particularly during the Ashes, he would often only hit 95mph+ in the seventh or eighth over of a spell. England haven’t yet worked out the best way to use him.
“Hello Rob,” says Kevin Davey. “I’m currently cycling from Land’s End to (*appropriateness alert*) Cape Town to raise money for Let the Children Hear, an amazing charity that does exactly what you’d imagine given the name - helping kids with hearing issues in Uganda. At the moment I’m in Ethiopia, so a little over halfway there. By the time I arrive de Kock will probably have counterattacked his way to a score in the low hundred-thousands. If any of the OBO readers would like to put some festive coppers in the virtual tin, my JustGiving page can be found here.”
Please look at Kevin’s page. It’s a great cause, and he will be cycling approximately 10,000 (T-E-N-T-H-O-U-etc.) miles. And there I was feeling virtuous because I played walking football twice last week.
53rd over: South Africa 189-5 (de Kock 65, Pretorius 26) This should be a two-and-a-half hour evening session, with 38 overs still to bowl. The first of those, from the returning Sam Curran, passes without incident.
Teatime reading
“Hello Rob,” says Malcolm Ferguson. “Could you tell us TMS fans why they are not broadcasting. Or have they changed channels?”
Marmite Millings
“Please inform Mr Millings that I don’t rate his version of ‘Good King Wenceslas’ very highly as the scanning falters a bit too much,” says John Starbuck. “How about the ‘Twelve days of Christmas’? But you have to have the actions too.”
“This should not be construed as criticism of the esteemed John Starbuck, but surely there should be a BBC4 documentary commissioned about the making of Mac Millings seasonal verse masterpieces,” says Brian Withington. “The man is clearly a genius and presumably recites Wisden in his sleep.”
Tea
52nd over: South Africa 187-5 (de Kock 64, Pretorius 25) de Kock times Archer deliciously down the ground for four. Archer is going at almost five an over today, which is very unusual. Even in New Zealand, when he couldn’t buy a wicket for all the Flat Whites in Oceania, he only went at 2.5 per over. He’s having a tough time right now.
Anyhow, that’s tea. South Africa were in big trouble at 111 for five, but a lively counter-attack from Quinton de Kock, who rode his luck, and the impressive debutant Dwaine Pretorius has brought them right back into the game. It’s a very hot day in Centurion, and South Africa have a chance to punish a tiring England attack in the final session.
51st over: South Africa 181-5 (de Kock 59, Pretorius 25) Pretorius flicks Broad between midwicket and mid-on for four. It was in the air, and teased both fielders, but the placement was good. Though England have been unlucky in this last hour, they have also bowled too many four-balls.
“Afternoon Rob, and season’s greetings to everyone,” says Simon McMahon. “Where did the last 10 years go? In a blur of Guardian live blogs, that’s where. You’d have got good odds on 26 March 2011 that England would end the decade as 50-over world champions. Though maybe not quite as good as Donald Trump becoming US president. And who’d have predicted that Brexit would go so smoothly? After all that, what can possibly happen by 2030 that could surprise us now…?”
Well, who’d have thought Mac Millings would be the man to make America great again?
50th over: South Africa 177-5 (de Kock 59, Pretorius 21) Jofra Archer returns in place of Jimmy Anderson (14-4-43-1). Joe Root is using his seamers in shorter spells than usual, such is the punishing heat in Centurion. His first ball is a beauty that beats de Kock’s outside edge; his second is filth and flicked to fine leg for four. An eventful over concludes with a jaffa that lifts past the outside edge, and an inside-edge from de Kock that just misses the stumps. He has had all kinds of fortune today.
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49th over: South Africa 173-5 (de Kock 55, Pretorius 21) Broad, on for Root, is flicked through midwicket for three by de Kock. This has been a vital innings from de Kock; even at this stage, it has the potential to be matchwinning.
After typing the above, I went straight to my inbox to find this from Andy Bradshaw. “Afternoon Rob,” he says. “I love Test series in South Africa. Superb Christmas holiday timings. Anyway, de Kock’s Brad Haddining his way to a matchwinning score here.”
If South Africa get to 300, I think they’ll be in a fine position.
48th over: South Africa 167-5 (de Kock 52, Pretorius 20) “Recently, someone wrote an email to the Fiver that included a number of Manic Street Preachers references,” says Matt Dony. “It instantly reminded me of how often I sent Manics-based jokes to Dan Lucas when he was masterfully covering Wales rugby matches. At a time of year when many people are obligated to spend time with family (whether they want to or not), it’s a nice reminder of the old cliche; ‘Friends are family we choose for ourselves.’ Now, as trite as it sounds, the thing with cliches is that they are usually cliched for a reason. They’re generally accurate. And, ‘friends’ can happily include people you’ve never met, but correspond with occasionally (even if it’s only with sports/music related puns, sarcasm, observations etc). A friend still missed.”
Amen to that. I want to hear his enthusiasm/contempt for so much in the last few years, from Slowthai to this year’s World Cup finals to the state of almost everything in the real world.
47th over: South Africa 167-5 (de Kock 51, Pretorius 19) Pretorius drives Root elegantly over mid-off for a one-bounce four. He has played nicely on debut so far, though we shouldn’t be surprised. His first-class numbers are extremely impressive: 39 with the bat, 24 with the ball.
46th over: South Africa 162-5 (de Kock 50, Pretorius 15) Pretorius heaves at a wide ball from Anderson, thick-edging it to third man for four. It feels like England, under Joe Root, concede a lot of runs down there. A single for Pretorius brings up a frantic, frisky fifty partnership in just 9.1 overs; and then a single for de Kock brings up a frantic, frisky fifty from just 45 balls. Discretion isn’t always the better part of valour.
“Bad verse, John Starbuck?” sniffs Mac Millings. “You are obviously as yet unacquainted with the first two stanzas of my ‘Good King Wenceslas’.
Goodwin, Benson, Vaas, Cook, Grout,
Hondo, Priest of Steve Finn,
Fender, Snow, La Roux, Don, Grout,
Dipak, Pant, Finn (Steven).Bright, Lee, Shaun Tait, Munaf, Knight,
Botham, Foster, Udal,
Fender, Pooran, Amiss, Wright,
Gatt, Ravindra, Sewell.
45th over: South Africa 156-5 (de Kock 49, Pretorius 10) Another lucky escape for de Kock! He tries to lap-sweep Root and contrives to toe-end the ball over the head of Stokes at slip.
“Thirty years ago, we used to have to wait until 3pm for Boxing Day to start,” says Gary Naylor. “But in recent years, it starts at 11.30pm on Christmas Day with the diamond bright sun of Melbourne. If we can just pull it forward to 7pm (dinner digested and brandy in hand) I’ll be even happier.”
Gary Naylor has created a petition for Tonga to be granted Test status. Signatures so far: 1.
44th over: South Africa 152-5 (de Kock 45, Pretorius 10) The more you see replays of that Stokes catch, the more it looks like it might have bounced straight into the fingers. Mike Atherton makes the point that the soft signal is king - had that been out, it would have been hard for the third umpire to overrule the on-field decision. By saying he wasn’t sure, Stokes probably cost England a wicket.
Anderson replaces Curran, meanwhile, and de Kock edges him twice to the third-man boundary. The first went over the slips, the second all along the floor. He is starting to wind England up. He’s had plenty of fortune, that much is true, but his 37-ball 45 has brought South Africa back into the game.
43rd over: South Africa 143-5 (de Kock 36, Pretorius 10) Ben Stokes has not bowled yet, which is interesting in the context of Root’s introduction. Pretorius lifts Root handsomely over wide long-on for six, the first boundary of his Test career.
Root continues to threaten, however, and de Kock edges him a fraction short of Stokes at slip. Stokes said he wasn’t sure it had carried, so the umpires went upstairs to check with a soft signal of not out. Replays showed that it was seriously close, but not out.
Anderson, by the way, is back on the field.
42nd over: South Africa 133-5 (de Kock 34, Pretorius 2) de Kock is not going to change his approach, lucky escape or no lucky escape. He pulls Curran for four, and then inside-edges another boundary to move to 34 from 28 balls. He is living very dangerously, but that usually makes for great entertainment.
“Morning (GMT) Rob,” says John Starbuck. “As you’ll have seen, today’s OBO has covered comestibles, in-laws, socks and bad verse. All pretty routine but, on a day when The Guardian has been going on about ‘best of the decade’ features, which is the best OBO since 2010, and why?”
Well, now, that’s a good question. The most euphoric, as a writer, were Kevin Pietersen’s various JFK innings, especially the 149 against South Africa in 2012. It was like being on Class A drugs, only they were legal and made entirely of cricket. As a reader, I really enjoyed the late Dan Lucas’s on the worst night of the decade. The late Dan Lucas. That’ll never look right.
41st over: South Africa 125-5 (de Kock 26, Pretorius 2) Joe Root turns for the first time to England’s spinner, Joe Root. His first ball is rubbish and toe-ended for four by de Kock - bit this third ball nearly brought the vital wicket! He played a seriously loose drive, clouting it back over the bowler’s head, and the ball landed this far in front of the diving Anderson as he ran back from mid-off. Anderson leaves the field at the end of the over, though I’m not sure what the problem might be.
40th over: South Africa 118-5 (de Kock 20, Pretorius 1) Oof. Curran beats Pretorius with two of the first three balls after drinks. The first was a loose stroke, the second a lovely delivery. There’s an unsuccessful LBW appeal later in the over, when Pretorius whips around an inswinger. It was missing leg. A splendid maiden from Curran nonetheless; he has been superb today.
Thanks Tanya, hello everyone. Season’s greetings to you all! Isn’t it nice to have some Test cricket to take the edge off the peculiar comedown that is Boxing Day. England have had a good day so far, though they should not feel comfortable in the box seat until they end Quinton de Kock’s counter-attack.
39th over: South Africa 116-5 (de Kock 18, Pretorius 1) Broad to de Kock, de Kock watches the ball go by, bat horizontal. We wait for the flow of the bat, it comes, a drive, but is nicely saved by a diving, sunglassed, long-sleeved Denly at sweeper.
And that’s drinks, advantage England. I’m handing over now to OBO guru Rob Smyth, who will guide you through to the close. Thanks for all the emails and tweets. Happy Boxing Day everyone!
38th over: South Africa 116-5 (de Kock 18, Pretorius 1) Beautiful bowling from Sam Curran, another maiden.
37th over: South Africa 116-5 (de Kock 18, Pretorius 1) Broad has found his mojo, part temptation, part puritanical restraint. Not that de Kock cares, he smashes his last ball through the covers for four more. Watch and learn young Pretorius.
Morning Tanya, writes Damian Clark, seasons felicitations.
I’ve just got in from ferrying a bus load of in-laws back to ours, and now I’m hiding in the kitchen until it’s time to ferry them all home again later.
Just read your fluorescent socks comment, and oh blimey! I bought loads of them at a time from probably the same stall as you in ‘85. They were so crap, I wore through them in days, but so de rigeur for any young student at the zenith of his sartorial elegance.
Kitchen hiding is a dark art.
WICKET! du Plessis c Root b Broad 29
The ball after a moment of fast-bowling perfection, that missed du Plessis’s bat by an envelope, Broad gets his edge!
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36th over: South Africa 109-4 (du Plessis 29, de Kock 14) du Kock tucks into Sam Curran in the spirit of Boxing Day. A silky-snooth drive through the covers for one four, then turned off his toes through mid-wicket for a second, and a slash n burn through backward point for a third.
Incidentally...
BREAKING: 34 year old Sth African opening bowler Vernon Philander is reported - reliably - to have signed a 3 year Kolpak deal with Somerset. @bbcbristolsport @bbcsomerset @CharlieTaylor4
— anthony gibson (@antgib) December 26, 2019
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35th over: South Africa 97-4 (du Plessis 29, de Kock 0) Archer is pulled after a short spell again by Root, who seems to have had a re-think after the New Zealand strategy. du Plessis plays out a maiden from Broad.
34th over: South Africa 97-4 (du Plessis 29, de Kock 0) A wicket-maiden for Sam Curran. Is it because of his size. Do opposition continually under-estimate him? Breathe a sigh of relief when he comes on and subconciously relax?
This is a work of genius Mac Millings, but apologies if my line returns don’t scan.
I did one of these on a football theme for the MBM, but I wouldn’t want the OBOers to miss out on the festive ‘fun’.
And don’t forget to sing along...
You know Slasher, and Lance(r)Prasanna, Paul Nixon,Colin and Kumar,And Danish (for fixing);Butt Doosra Shakoor the most famous reindeer, Wes Hall?
Rudolph and Marnus, Fender Hadlee, Belly, Heine, Rose,Hanif, Hughes, Evans, Rohit,Younis, Evans, Brian Close.
Allott, Fairbrother, Fender,Yousuf, Faf and Collie, Ames,Haynes, Nevill, Kapoor, RudolphJonty, Hanif, Labuschagne.
Don, Waugh, Farhaan Behardien,Santner, Kane, Boon, Steyn,Rudolph, Bradshaw, Jones, Ray Bright(Naga)mootoo Fry my Slater, Knight?
Benn, Howarth, Fender, Bowden,Andy Flower, Grout, Brett LeeRudolph and Marnus, Fender
Vermeulen, Downton, Ishant, Reeve!
Happy Christmas!
WICKET! Van der Dussen c Root b Curran 6
Fairy-tale Sam strikes again! Brought back from the River End, his second ball pitches just in the kitchen of worry, and van der Dussen spatulates an edge to first slip.
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33rd over: South Africa 97-3 (du Plessis 29, van der Dussen 6) Archer; disappointed. His walk back to his mark is so leisurely as to be almost hobbling. He tests Faf again with a wide one, but du Plessis turns up his nose this time, and that’s the third maiden in a row.
REVIEW!
du Plessis reviews immediately after being given out caught behind off Archer... ...not out, despite ultra edge spiking, the pictures show the ball well past the bat by then.
32nd over: South Africa 97-3 (du Plessis 29, van der Dussen 6) Anderson has found his rhythm after lunch, here he has van der Dussen hopelessly at sea, pushing at one he shouldn’t have, that misses by a breath.
31st over: South Africa 97-3 (du Plessis 29, van der Dussen 6) All smooth in the good ship Jofra until the final ball which was a rotten sprout, leafy, odorous, and thrashed through the covers by du Plessis.
30th over: South Africa 93-3 (du Plessis 25, van der Dussen 6) Anderson tightens the screw on van der Dussen, who pats him away with angled bat and tidy leaves. Just noticed that du Plessis’s pink gloves match his bat. On point, reminds me of the florescent socks they used to sell at Woking market in 1985. I had them in florescent yellow, but didnt’ them off with as much flair as Faf.
29th over: South Africa 92-3 (du Plessis 25, van der Dussen 4 ) Archer and Root have a chat as Archer drifts towards du Plessis and van der Dussen’s hips. According to the Sky graphics, Archer has bowled only 2 of 38 balls this innings at the batsmen’s stumps. But, as Mark Nicholas points out, that isn’t necessarily the way he works.
28th over: South Africa 90-3 (du Plessis 25, van der Dussen 4 ) Anderson is back, beginning with a loosener - but without the crackerjack result that started the first session. He gradually tightens the line, some fine-tuning of the old piano, keys worn bare but it still knows the best tunes.
“Hi Tanya and merry Christmas to you and the OBO faithful,” writes John Withington.
Merry Christmas John!
I see brother Brian is off the mark already in this test. For my own part I’m doing all the driving, as was always the way in our opening partnerships in the badlands of Essex league cricket. So I’m taking the opportunity of my own drinks break, half way through a 6 hour innings behind the wheel to catch up. I hope the goose I’ll be cooking tonight for his family and mine will provide more festive food puns to describe the South African innings.
27th over: South Africa 89-3 (du Plessis 24, van der Dussen 4 ) A sloppy post-prandial over from Archer, as du Plessis dumps him for two fours through mid-wicket on the leg side.
As England and South Africa march out after lunch, Ian Sparling wonders why Ollie Pope isn’t playing. Hi Ian, Pope, as well as Jack Leach and Chris Woakes, are picking over the turkey bones in quarantine in the team hotel suffering from flu.
Thank you very much OBOers! We now have the answer to Matt Wilson’s Faf conundrum. (over 24)
Louwrens Botha: Faf is indeed a common nickname for Francois (see also their World Cup-winning scrumhalf). The ‘five/two plus three’ idea would be pretty far-fetched even if Faf had grown up speaking English..
Andy Buddery: Hi Tanya. Can confirm Faf is a common nickname of Francois (see also Faf De Klerk). Can also confirm that as a child in South Africa, our grade one class of six year old comedians used to call our teacher, Mrs du Plessis, Mrs Two Plus Three. So in a way, Matt’s friends are both right and can both be happy. Merry Christmas.
Jon Leiper: Just to confirm that Faf has nothing to do with 5. It is very definitely a popular short form of Francois.
Rendel Harris: To answer Matt Wilson’s question about du Plessis’ nickname, neither of the reasons suggested are correct; here’s the man himself from a Facebook Q&A:Got the nickname Faf when I was young. There was a rugby player who was called Faffa Knoetze - as a baby, I kept repeating his name.
And off they trot for a lot of liquid, and a lie down. A wicket each for Anderson, Broad, and Sam Curran, with skiddy Curran, 5-2-8-1 the pick of the bowlers. England were a bit creaky with the ball, understandably after sickness and injury, but will be happy enough with three wickets at lunch. Hamza played beautifully but he, like Elgar and Markram, played some loose shots. I’m going to grab a coffee and open a present, see you back here in half an hour!
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26th over: South Africa 79-3 (du Plessis 14, van der Dussen 4 ) On Sky they’re talking Brexit. “I’m just getting over it, says Nasser. A maiden from Broad, nicely played out by van der Dussen, and that’s lunch.
Hamza may have displayed good judgement outside off stump, but he's just guessing really. You're going to make quick, pretty runs with the feet, head and hands all inside the line of the ball, but you're just James Vince really @tjaldred.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) December 26, 2019
Oh Gary, that’s harsh.
25th over: South Africa 79-3 (du Plessis 14, van der Dussen 4 ) Joe Root whips off Anderson to give Archer a couple before lunch. He sends in a couple of nip-backers, and appeals, with increasing vibrancy, for a couple of lbws. Turned down, rightly. du Plessis plays out the maiden.
24th over: South Africa 79-3 (du Plessis 14, van der Dussen 4 ) A four for van der Dussen - a forthright dispatch to the rope of an over-pitched Christmas pudding from Broad. That’ll settle the nerves.
Merry Christmas! writes Matt Wilson. “I was hoping you could settle a long standing argument between two of my friends. One claims that Francois du Plessis got his nickname of ‘Faf’ because it sounds a bit like five, and du Plessis sounds a bit like ‘two plus three’. The other says Faf is a common nickname for Francois. Do you know which is correct?
Matt, I’m sorry but I don’t know. But I bet there’s an OBO reader out there with the answers at their fingertips...
23rd over: South Africa 75-3 (du Plessis 14, van der Dussen 0 ) Ah that Centurion Sky! Pure forget-me-not blue. du Plessis kisses Anderson through gully for four, the debutant van der Dussen at the other end.
22nd over: South Africa 71-3 (du Plessis 10) So Broad grabs a wicket and England chip away, despite not dominating in the way the scoreboard might suggest. Some reckless shots from South Africa this morning. Apparently Broad had not bowled a ball this tour because of sickness, and was this morning taking his kit out its plastic packaging as he hadn’t yet opened it.
WICKET!! Hamza c Stokes b Broad 39
The ball after a pitch-perfect, head over knee, cover drive, Hamza pushes outside off stump and is caught shin-high by Stokes at second slip. What a shame, he was batting beautifully, showing, as Michael Holding had just pointed out, until that moment, perfect judgement outside off-stump.
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21st over: South Africa 64-2 (du Plessis 10, Hamza 33) The pitch is mottled beige and mossy green and looks dry. Just two from Anderson’s over, as Hamza casually turns the last ball off his hip.
Sam Hey wonders why England are wearing black armbands. It’s in memory of Bob Willis, Sam, who died just over three weeks ago.
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20th over: South Africa 62-2 (du Plessis 9, Hamza 32) A double change, as Broad takes the ball back from Sam Curran. He’s on the money, just short, just wide of Hamza, twice on a crack, and Hamza two balls in a row flirts in cheap lace. He does well to survive.
Leon Wylie wins email of the session. “1st ball in a boxing day test. It has to be a “Turkey”.
19th over: South Africa 62-2 (du Plessis 9, Hamza 32) Ah, Anderson is back, somewhat surprisingly, as Archer was producing the occasional gem against du Plessis. Perhaps Root didn’t like the run leakage. Anderson varies his length nicely, and that’s a maiden.
18th over: South Africa 61-2 (du Plessis 9, Hamza 31) Just a couple for du Plessis as Curran keeps it tight. There’s a good crowd at Centurion, lots of shade, lots of short-sleeves, lots of ice-creams.
John Westwell drops us a note before heading off for a bracing walk on the beach. “ I’d suggest that Angel Delight is much more deserving of the term ‘devil’s food’ than Christmas pudding. Only a fallen angel (ie Lucifer himself) could find that powdery triumph of marketing palatable.”
Very true, though butterscotch instant whip had its place in the 1980s kitchen.
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17th over: South Africa 59-2 (du Plessis 7, Hamza 31) An eventful over. Two heavenly drives from Hamza as Archer goes full, through the covers, then back down the ground. Then he shrugs up some extra bounce from nowhere and du Plessis is up on his toes fending the ball away past slip for another four.
16th over: South Africa 45-2 (du Plessis 2, Hamza 22) A maiden from Curran, varying the length, varying the line, but du Plessis is equal to it, his bright pink bat handle flashing in the sun.
Dave Seare is back from the kitchen
I did a quick sweep of the kitchen and it’s a vitamin c-free zone this morning. Still undecided, I’ve had a bit of cheese to help the thought process.
It’s a good sign that South Africa are keen to help England out with some gift wickets. Curran is the kind of player that always seems greater than the sum of his parts and makes the team feel better.
Your mention of mince pies has given me an idea......
15th over: South Africa 45-2 (du Plessis 2, Hamza 22) Shot of the day from Hamza as Archer drifts short and wide, he throws the bat, and cuts with his Sabatier for four. A finely cut steak, an expensive bitter mint. But Archer in on his case, and Hamza is tempted, so tempted, by one that zips past the edge of his bat. One all.
14th over: South Africa 41-2 (du Plessis 2, Hamza 18) It’s Curran again after drinks. A short one lobs over du Plessis’ head and is called a wide. No runs off the bat from the over.
Brian Withington makes a tinselly appearance:
“In reply to Martin Laidler (over 4) I’m not sure about the universally approved technical term for a first ball dismissal in a series, but am reminded of yesterday’s dinner (aka very late lunch) that included a stuffed, deboned duck with spiced plum glaze. Hence I offer ‘Plum(b) Duck’ (if only it had been lbw)?”
Very good!
13th over: South Africa 40-2 (du Plessis 2, Hamza 18) du Plessis negociates another awkward over, this time from Archer. His best ball is a rising rocket, which du Plessis tickles just past Bairstow diving at short leg.
And that’s drinks. Advantage England, with Archer-Curran looking more dangerous than Broad-Anderson. Indeed, Guy Hornsby is reaching for the valediction pills.
Jofra and Curran (S) on first change. Two contrasting propositions, both able to make something happen. Just like that! Sam seems so inocuous, but has that edge about him. It feels like a bit of a changing of the guard. I don’t want to deepen those post-Christmas blues but how much longer until we don’t have Anderson and Broad’s mastery to call upon? Even though I’m in my 40s, it almost feels as if they’ve been leading the attack for ever. Will they both make the Ashes? Who knows, but we’ve been honoured to have them.
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12th over: South Africa 36-2 (du Plessis 0, Hamza 16) Curran is trouble this morning, giving du Plessis a Boxing Day work out. He starts the over wide, then has him poking to slip and finally beats du Plessis with a 138 kph screamer. A heavy-weight, booze-laden mince pie disguised as angel delight.
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11th over: South Africa 36-2 (du Plessis 0, Hamza 16) A double change, as Archer replaces Anderson. His loosener is 143 kph, the fastest ball of the day, and Hamza decides to leave it on a length. It laughs as it brushes over the stumps. Hamza clips the last ball of the over through square leg for four.
Pudding for breakfast? writes James Debens. What fresh hell is this? A black coffee to kickstart the metabolism, followed by a satsuma or three to cleanse the palate.
A satsuma/an orange should always be offered to anyone who crosses your threshold, rolled across your table if the guest is South African, of course. The offer of a satsuma rather than a biscuit or, ye gods, a slice of Christmas pudding, shows that you care about your guest’s wellbeing and any potential gluten intolerance they may have.”
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10th over: South Africa 32-2 (du Plessis 0, Hamza 12) Joe Root has had enough of his elder statesmen and throws the ball to Sam Curran. Immediately, he makes things happen. First Markram thrashes him, wildly, through the covers. Then he edges him just short of slip, Then the wicket, to his fourth ball. Curran’s bowling at 137 kph - faster than Broad, and the same speed as Anderson.
WICKET! Markram c Bairstow b Curran 20
Off his hips, straight to Bairstow at short midwicket! What a bowling change by Root. Top marks for field placings too.
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9th over: South Africa 28-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 12) Anderson has had quite a severe haircut for his return. A maiden, if without quite the zip of vintage JA.
8th over: South Africa 28-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 12) The South Africans have very jaunty green numbers on their backs. A not particularly special over from Broad, and Markram and Hamza bat them away without too many problems
Morning Tanya,
Morning Dave!
“Came downstairs and saw South Africa batting. Thought ‘poor Root, not much luck at the toss.’ But it seems he forgot about winning the toss, thinking about bowling before having a bat. Brave.
Should I have Christmas pudding (the breakfast of champions), a plate of biscuits from a fancy box or get stuck into the Tower ‘o’ Pringles that’s taunting me from the other side of the room?
Might just go straight to the Rennies,
Cleanse your palate with a satsuma, then perhaps a shortbread or three? Christmas pudding, arghghghg! The devil’s food.
7th over: South Africa 25-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 9) Anderson is probing away at Hamza. Atherton points out that you can see a lot of his stumps. It’s hot out there by the way, up in the early thirties, and humid.
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6th over: South Africa 24-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 8) Broad reasserts some control with a maiden. Hamza is one to watch.
If you’ve not watched Hamza before, he batted like an absolute dream against Pakistan on debut back in Jan, scored 62 in tricky circumstances recently against India in his second Test and averages more than 50 in first class cricket.
— Yas Rana (@Yas_Wisden) December 26, 2019
He could be very, very good.
5th over: South Africa 24-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 8) A flurry of runs as Anderson goes for a most uncharacteristic 11 from the over.
Markram dispatches two fours in a row, a wristy swish before throwing himself at a short wide one which flies over the outstretched hand of Root at slip. For dessert, a back foot drive for three.
4rd over: South Africa 13-1 (Markram 5, Hamza 8) Broad is experimenting, wide of off stump, short and a good length. Hamza gets him away for two, punching him down the ground.
@tjaldred - Whats the technical term for a first ball duck at the start of a series. Hairy, Golden, Platinum Duck?
— Martin Laidler (@martin_laidler) December 26, 2019
3rd over: South Africa 10-1 (Markram 4, Hamza 6) The only bowler with 150 caps runs in, joints as oiled as a seal. A maiden.
It’s the time of year, to contemplate the divine on earth. Matt Dony has spotted him, at Centurion. “At what point do we have have to admit that Anderson probably isn’t human, and face the ethical problems arising from that realisation? 37 years old. Fast bowler. Leading the line and Taking Test wickets regularly. It’s not right...
2nd over: South Africa 10-1 (Markram 4, Hamza 6) At the other end, Joe Root throws the new ball to Broad, so in their first match together, Anderson and Archer won’t share the new ball. Ah, that’s a lovely shot from Markram, straight down the ground for four, a gentle caress. Markram has been out with a broken wrist sustained punching a wall after being given out for a duck in Pune.
1st over: South Africa 5-1 (Markram (RHB) 0, Hamza 5)Hamza walks out to a gob-struck Centurion, in only his third Test. That was a bit of a shocker from Elgar to an Anderson loosener, a gloved aside to Buttler, the dud joke in the Christmas cracker A typically probing over from Anderson follows.
And Jeremy, we have an answer from Anthony Noel (thanks, Anthony) - the coverage of this series is on TalkSport not TMS.
WICKET! Elgar c Buttler b Anderson 0
Elgar tries half-heartedly to clip Anderson off his hip and Anderson has a wicket with the very first ball of the series!
There’s a bit of a delay as someone, a photographer perhaps, seems to have fallen over on the boundary. Anderson waits at the top of his run.
TMS request?
Does anyone please have the TMS overseas link for Jeremy Dresner?
Something to mull over...
England fielding an all-seam attack for the second match in succession. Partly a reflection of conditions at Centurion, partly the state of English spin. Last time this happened, I believe, was two home Tests v Pakistan in 2001
— Simon Wilde (@swildecricket) December 26, 2019
but a tasty seam attack for England: Broad, Anderson, Archer, Stokes, Curran.
In Hong Kong, Tim Maitland is uneasy.
“I’m 100% sure Joe Root has done the right thing bowling first. This way the agony will be dosed out over three sessions and into the second day. I don’t have enough booze or chocolate in the house to deal with the clatter of 10 wickets before lunch, because we all know this winter has all the hallmarks of an English cricketing disaster don’t we?!”
The players walk out for the anthems, and England are wearing black arm bands in memory of dear Bob Willis, RIP.
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Flu-gate:
England will be without Chris Woakes, Ollie Pope and Jack Leach for the Boxing Day Test. They all remain in quarantine at the team hotel with flu
— Paul Newman 🌈 (@Paul_NewmanDM) December 26, 2019
South Africa: two Test debuts, Rassie van der Dussen and Dwaine Pretorius
South Africa: Dean Elgar, Aiden Markram, Zubayr Hamza, Faf du Plessis, Rassie van der Dussen, Quinton de Kock, Dwaine Pretorius, Vernon Philnder, Keshav Maharaj, Kagiso Rabada, Anrich Nortie.
England: Bairstow back, Stokes plays
England: Rory Burns, Dom Sibley, Joe Denly, Joe Root, Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow, Jos Buttler, Sam Curran, Jofra Archer, James Anderson, Stuart Broad.
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Mike Atherton on the toss. “All the chat is that this pitch deteriorates at the back end of the game, fine to bowl first but you better damn well make sure you get a first-innings lead.”
And a straight-talkin Christmas to you too Mike!
Ah, brilliant! We have an expert. Thanks Adrian Goldman.
”As a biological scientist, no, flu jabs are not country specific. They are manufactured against what scientists believe is the most likely collection of H (haemagglutinin) and N (neuraminidase) antigens present on the influenza virus of that season. These two proteins are the most abundant on the surface of an influenza virus. Most of the time we get it pretty correct; and I agree with Gary: once you’ve had a flu jab, you never, ever, go without. Especially if you’ve had the flu in an earlier season. But having the flu jab doesn’t provide 100% protection, especially if the variants are slightly unusual. So the party may have had them, but people may nonetheless get a little sick - and obviously that isn’t OK for a professional athlete, whereas it would be OK for an office job.”
England win the toss - field first
Joe Root has won the toss and will bowl. “It is quite a tricky decision to make but we think it is a great opportunity on this track.”
Jack Leach isn’t fit, Ben Stokes is playing, they go in with a five-man attack.
Faf du Plessis says he’d have batted first anyway, “On day one the wicket is generally quite slow here, on days two and three it is decent, and then the cracks start to open.”
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In the Boxing Day Test at the MCG, Australia are on top, thanks to fifties from Marnus Labuschagne and Steve Smith, despite Trent Boult dispatching Joe Burns’s stumps with the first ball of the game. As it happened, here.
Gary Naylor is up bright and early. Happy Christmas!
Do England players not have a flu jab in October @tjaldred? Once you have one, you don't go an Autumn without it.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) December 26, 2019
That’s a good question. Though I don’t think the jab protects you from every strain of flu - perhaps it is country specific?! Any expertise welcome.
Something to digest with your Boxing Day coffee. Since 2010 Vernon Philander has been the best bowler with the Kookobura ball. The second? Kagiso Rabada
A couple of stats as Sky warms up - in the last decade, Centurion has been the worst Test ground for spin bowlers. And, this morning, Jimmy Anderson becomes the first bowler to play 150 Tests. Ever. He and Stuart Broad are playing darts with Ian Ward. They talk about bowling with the kookaburra ball. “The balls are different here,” says Anderson. “They’ve got a slightly different seam, it feels harder, you might get ten overs of decent swing. The atmospheric conditions here are good, so are the pitches, you get carry. We’re thinking it is going to be different to how it was in New Zealand.”
Hello and Happy Christmas!
I hope yesterday was full of good cheer and good people. To those who were unhappy, a virtual hug: come, there’s plenty of space on the OBO sofa. The chocolate orange is on me.
Over in Centurion, they’re preparing for the big one - the face off between the bottom and sixth placed sides in the World Test Championship, the first of four Tests between South Africa and England.
England gather together their walking wounded after a bout of flu has rampaged through the camp - we wait to see what team they cobble together for the seam friendly Centurion pitch. Early sufferers Jofra Archer and Stuart Broad trained yesterday, but Ollie Pope and Chris Woakes were both missing and showing signs of the lurgy. James Anderson, who missed both the summer’s Ashes series and the tour of New Zealand with a calf injury, is raring to go.
Thankfully, Ben Stokes’s father Ged has showed signs of improvement in intensive care and his condition has stabilised, Stokes trained on Christmas Day and was due to make a decision on whether to play overnight.
England have lost five of their last six away series, but their last Test series defeat in South Africa was under Nasser Hussain in 1999-2000.
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South Africa are not in the greatest health. They’ve have a tumultuous six months - off-field boardroom shenanigans, disputes with players, loss of a sponsor, revoking of journalists accreditation, whitewashed in a Test series in India - but now sit with a formidable new top table team: (interim) director of cricket Graeme Smith, coach Mark Boucher and batting coach Jacques Kallis. Team-wise, Temba Bavuma is out with injury, and South Africa are likely to play two Test newbies, batsman Rassie van der Dussen, South Africa’s second-highest run-scorer in the World Cup, and allrounder Dwaine Pretorius. Meanwhile, all-rounder Vernon Philander has announced his retirement at the end of the series
Hope that’s wet your whistle. See you here soon, play starts at 8am GMT.
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