Close of play: South Africa lead by 401 runs
Nathan Lyon looks mentally shattered as he leaves the field. The Australians bowled beautifully for most of the day, almost ignoring the fact that the match and series have gone. South Africa took their time but that’s okay. All that matters is winning the series; victory in this match would be a bonus. Thanks for your company, goodnight!
Updated
56th over: South Africa 134-3 (Elgar 39, du Plessis 34) The last over of the day, from Lyon, passes without incident. After a long, hard-fought day’s play, South Africa lead by 401 runs.
55th over: South Africa 134-3 (Elgar 39, du Plessis 34) A rare boundary for South Africa, with du Plessis flashing a short one from Hazlewood through the covers. That takes South Africa’s lead past 400. It’s easy to forget, after the events of the last week, just what a special achievement this series victory will be for South Africa. Australia are still giving everything, despite everything, and Hazlewood ends the over with a snorter that beats du Plessis.
54th over: South Africa 130-3 (Elgar 39, du Plessis 30) “My OBO nightmare is crafting an email of wit, pith, insight and subtlety, then seeing it published and realising it looks like something Mac Millings might have written,” says Robin Hazlehurst. “Sorry Mac, no offence intended.”
53rd over: South Africa 130-3 (Elgar 39, du Plessis 30) A nasty grubber from Hazlewood is just kept out by du Plessis, though he didn’t know much about it. It’s a scandal that Hazlewood has no wickets in this match. Dame Fortune should be made to explain herself as a hastily arranged press conference.
“So now you’re talking about your dreams and reposting flirtatious smut from stalking exes like Mac Millings?” sniffs Robert Wilson. “Have you actually finally lost it or have you just accidentally started including bits of your Tinder profile (that ‘incontrovertibly adequate’ from earlier on was a dead giveaway)?”
Look, Robert, I just report the cricket. If that means telling you that Dean Elgar has the look of a man who has watched every Coen Brothers film at least ten times and considers himself a deceptively tender lover, so be it.
51st over: South Africa 128-3 (Elgar 38, du Plessis 29) du Plessis charges Lyon, tries to wallop him over the leg side and gets a thin inside edge past Paine for four. Technically that’s a missed chance but the deflection made it almost impossible for the already unsighted Paine.
50th over: South Africa 124-3 (Elgar 38, du Plessis 25) Hazlewood goes to the well one more time, returning to the attack in place of Chadd Sayers. du Plessis is beaten by a good outswinger, and that’s about it. South Africa have scored 14 runs in the last 12 overs. It’s catenaccio cricket, but you can’t blame them for that.
Goosebumps as the Karachi crowd belts out Pakistan's national anthem with the team. We're minutes away from the first ball as intl cricket returns to the city after nine(!) years. LIVE now on @ESPNcricinfo #PAKvWIhttps://t.co/Znw10ZkQ6d
— Sreshth Shah (@sreshthx) April 1, 2018
49th over: South Africa 124-3 (Elgar 38, du Plessis 25) Elgar works Lyon for two, his first runs since the 35th over.
It never ends. The cricket, it never ends. Once this day’s play is over, we’ll have time for about two minutes’ sleep before day four of the Test between New Zealand and England.
49th over: South Africa 122-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 25) The wounded du Plessis lifts Sayers straight back over his head for four, a fine stroke, and then belts a pull for four more. We’ve heard of batsmen being dangerous on one leg but not with a busted finger. Maybe du Plessis will carve out a Greenidgian niche this evening.
“I find the amount of people expressing views such as in over 34 astonishing,” writes David Warner (no, really). “These young men, and all except Warner are under 30, have been emotionally eviscerated in the last week. Yes they stuffed up and got caught doing so and have all paid a big penalty. But for people to dismiss their emotional distress as convenient or somehow concocted is unfeeling to say the least. If I had to face what they have publicly I’d have collapsed and I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t.”
Yes, I agree with all of this. I don’t particularly care for Warner but I still have sympathy for what he’s had to go through, never mind Smith and Bancroft. I found the reaction far more depressing than the action. Too much narcissism, not enough empathy.
Updated
48th over: South Africa 114-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 17) Elgar spoons Lyon nor far short of the man at cover. It’s been an intriguing battle between these two, albeit diluted by the match situation.
“Re: the 42nd over,” says Matt Dony. “In fairness, sitting in a field, naked and sobbing; that’s pretty much where I’d expect to find Millings by this point of the weekend…”
47th over: South Africa 114-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 17) du Plessis broke the same finger against India. He’s going to carry on, though he does not loom entirely free of pain. As he defends the next ball he instinctively pulls his right hand off the bat handle.
“No need to push for a declaration at all,” says Charles Montague. “They have oodles of time to further demoralise and humiliate the second-string top six of a battered and beleaguered rabble.”
I’m not sure they are beleaguered, I think their attitude in this match has been pretty great. I agree with you about the declaration, mind.
46.3 overs: South Africa 114-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 17) Sayers hits du Plessis on his already wounded right hand, and du Plessis’ reaction suggests this might be quiet serious. The physio is coming on.
46th over: South Africa 114-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 17) Elgar leaves a ball that pitches on off stump and turns sharply to miss the stumps. Lyon follows that with a quicker, fuller ball that Elgar repels. Good cricket from both men.
45th over: South Africa 113-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 16) Nothing is happening out there. It’s a feast of cricketing dead air.
44th over: South Africa 112-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 15) Lyon has moved over the wicket to Elgar, who wears one on the elbow after it spits out of the rough. Another maiden. Lyon’s figures are 19-8-35-1.
43rd over: South Africa 112-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 14) I can understand those who would like South Africa to push for a declaration. But they have been stung so many times by Australia since readmission. I doubt they’ll want to give the Aussies an uneven break, never mind an even one. The lead is 379.
42nd over: South Africa 110-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 13) “That 34th-over email reminded me of another dream I’ve been having, in which Patrick Phillips, wearing priestly robes, is extracting a full and frank confession from me,” says Mac Millings. “I’m sitting in a field, naked and sobbing, confessing to Father Patrick my recurring dream about you, a bottle of prosecco and a Matt Le Tissier figurine.”
Actually, that’s something I’ve been meaning to ask: why did David Warner’s press conference take place in the Red Room from Twin Peaks?
Updated
41st over: South Africa 110-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 13) I’ve missed an over somewhere. So sue me! Sayers is back into the attack in place of Cummins, and starts with a maiden to du Plessis.
39th over: South Africa 110-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 13) A maiden from Lyon to Elgar, who has made 36 from 114 balls. His innings is not to everyone’s taste - Graeme Smith thinks he should be more proactive - but it is ensuring South Africa will win the series.
38th over: South Africa 110-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 13) Faf du Plessis spanks a full ball from Cummins through the covers for four. That’s a fine shot, and he’s batting with an urgency that has been lacking in this South African innings since the dismissal of Markram.
37th over: South Africa 104-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 7) du Plessis sweeps Lyon flat and hard for four. The lead is 371.
36th over: South Africa 99-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 3) I’ll have what Pat Cummins is having. At the start of the summer there were some who doubted whether he’d play back-to-back Tests. Yet he has played all nine and is still charging in with exhilarating purpose. He has taken 43 wickets in those games and almost makes it 44 when Elgar flashes at a short ball that beats the top edge.
35th over: South Africa 98-3 (Elgar 36, du Plessis 2) Elgar slogs Lyon high in the air but gets away with it, the ball landing a few yards in front of hte man running back from mid-off.
“I feel for the Australians, having to cope without resorting to sledging,” says Aditi. “A leopard cannot change his spots overnight. Meanwhile, my Dad had a suggestion. How about installing venting booths near the boundary lines? Any frustrated Aussie bowler could express his frustration in a safe space inside. Though one suspects there would be a beeline outside the booth.”
That’s a great idea. We have the exact same thing in the Guardian office, though we call them Think Pods.
34th over: South Africa 95-3 (Elgar 34, du Plessis 1) The new batsman is the captain Faf du Plessis, who has had a dreadful series with the bat (55 runs at 9.16) and is on a king pair. He avoids that, shouldering arms to the first delivery, and then avoids the common or garden pair by taking a quick single.
“I continue to be astonished at the misplaced sympathy generated by these cricketers crying,” says Patrick Phillips. “Children learn at an early age that tears may deflect censure by preying upon parental love and it often works. With adults it does not work that way. Crying does not reinforce a plea for forgiveness. It’s an irrelevance if the real basis for a genuine apology - a full and frank confession - is present; if it is not crying is no substitute. None of the ‘apologies’ is this instant has been accompanied by anything approaching a full and frank confession of what happened, who did what and why. The tears, if anything, are designed by these men to attract sympathy instead of making a full and frank confession. If anything their crying has made their apology meaningless - not reinforced it.”
WICKET! South Africa 94-3 (de Villiers c Paine b Cummins 6)
Good luck playing that. AB de Villiers has gone to a monstrous delivery from Cummins. It exploded from the pitch and brushed the glove as de Villiers tried to drop his hands. That was a rare old snorter.
33rd over: South Africa 94-2 (Elgar 34, de Villiers 6) Elgar edges the new bowler Cummins through third slip at catchable height for four, and then de Villiers flicks another boundary off the legs. The lead is 361.
“I am an Aussie but of dual British nationality and have lived in India and Sri Lanka at times,” says Martin Turnbull. “Have not abided the Oz side for years but coming round to thinking the bans are over the top. I suspect CA will end up having to reduce them, probably by appeal. Are other teams as consistently as boorish as the Ozzies? Nope. But other teams do have form. Have others been found guilty of tampering with the ball? Yep and no penalties are equivalent to what these three got. Was there premeditation? Of course. However, anyone that puts a mint in their pocket prior to play and uses it to tamper with the ball is equally guilty of premeditation. Just think the perspective is a bit awry because it was the (admittedly) boorish behaviour of the Oz team in recent years. However, being boorish does not necessarily equate to cheating.”
Yes, I agree. It’s all pretty complex, because there is so much more to it than ball-tampering. But those bans feel really excessive, even for Warner. Against that, something like this had obviously been coming. I can see both sides of the argument, even if I’d have given them a much smaller ban and a final warning.
Updated
32nd over: South Africa 84-2 (Elgar 29, de Villiers 1) Amla ends the series with 196 runs at 24.50. AB de Villiers is the new batsman. The old batsman, Elgar, blasts a short delivery from Lyon through the covers for four.
Updated
WICKET! South Africa 79-2 (Amla c M Marsh b Lyon 16)
Lyon deserves that wicket. Amla fences a big-spinning delivery round the corner towards leg slip, where Mitchell Marsh dives to his left to take a good two-handed catch.
31st over: South Africa 79-1 (Elgar 25, Amla 16) Amla is content to see Hazlewood off. Quite right too, as he is bowling beautifully. His figures in this spell are 5-2-7-0, and four of those were off the shoulder of the bat from a snorter.
30th over: South Africa 78-1 (Elgar 25, Amla 15) Edgar chips Lyon lazily down the ground for four, a very classy stroke. Lyon’s response is an absurd jaffa that squares Elgar up, beats the edge and just misses the off bail.
“I was thinking the OBO dream would involve typing away industriously,” says Scott Probst, “only to look up from your computer to discover you are sitting in the middle of the field naked.”
My subconscious mind isn’t that sophisticated.
29th over: South Africa 73-1 (Elgar 21, Amla 14) This is a such a good spell from Hazlewood - relenteless, accurate and with enough snap off the seam to keep the batsmen in defensive mode.
Congratulations 🎉🎊🍾 to the Legendary Jim Maxwell celebrating 45 years in cricket commentary
— SABC Sport (@SPORTATSABC) April 1, 2018
“Be honest about everything you see. Colour it with good language. Tell them what they want to know. And enjoy yourself.” Jim Maxwell’s advice to aspiring cricket commentators. #SAvAUS pic.twitter.com/0xPj74uUOR
28th over: South Africa 72-1 (Elgar 21, Amla 13) Replays confirm that Amla was outside the line. At the other end, Lyon beats Elgar with a textbook jaffa that curves in and spiuts away off the pitch. Another maiden from Lyon, whose figures are 11-4-18-0.
“During your tea-time Tetris talk, you mentioned the ‘dreaded OBO Dream’,” says Mac Millings. “What’s that, then? Is it anything like the recurring one I have involving you, a bottle of prosecco and a Matt Le Tissier figurine?”
I suspect the screams are the same. The OBO Dream is when something really IMPORTANT happens, but no matter how hard you try you can’t write about it because your fingers, computer and brain are moving really r e a l l y s l o w l y.
Then, just as you are getting over your embarrassment, The Man calls you into his office, and instructs you to drop them.
27th over: South Africa 72-1 (Elgar 21, Amla 13) Amla survives a big LBW shout from a lovely nipbacker by Hazlewood. I think he was just outside the line, and Tim Paine decides not to review. Superb bowling again though.
26th over: South Africa 72-1 (Elgar 21, Amla 13) It’s been a frustrating series for Amla, with lots of starts but no big scores: 0, 8, 56, 27, 31, 31, 27 and now 13 not out.
25th over: South Africa 67-1 (Elgar 20, Amla 9) A terrific over from Hazlewood. Amla edges an unplayable seaming lifter for four and then gets a leading edge into an off side from a straight delivery that keeps low. In the face of certain defeat, this is such an admirable performance from Hazlewood and Cummins in particular.
If you haven’t seen it, here’s Dean Elgar’s astonishing catch from earlier in the day.
WATCH: Dean Elgar took an incredible catch, running back and diving full length as the ball dropped over his shoulder, to dismiss Tim Paine on day three of the fourth #SAvAUS Test https://t.co/KI83xBE1kg https://t.co/c72Hy6rXXd
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) April 1, 2018
24th over: South Africa 62-1 (Elgar 20, Amla 4) There’s plenty of turn and bounce for Lyon. That’s a nightmare for the left-hander, though Elgar is playing him with more authority than early in the innings. Another maiden.
Meanwhile, if you’re into the whole England thing, here’s an interesting story for our man Ali Martin.
23rd over: South Africa 62-1 (Elgar 20, Amla 4) Hazlewood replaces Cummins and bowls a maiden to Amla. The commentators are discussing when South Africa might declare. There are a few things to consider - the weather forecast, Morkel’s injury - but the most important is that South Africa only need a draw to win the series. I’m sure they will bat on and on and on. It would be crazy to give Australia even a one per cent chance of winning the match.
22nd over: South Africa 62-1 (Elgar 20, Amla 4) Nathan Lyon starts after tea with a long hop that is cuffed for four by Elgar. Australia have nothing to play for except pride, and you know what Marsellus Wallace says about that.
“The Tetris Effect refers to the experiences of people who have played a lot of Tetris, and as a result, start to ‘see’ falling blocks that they have to manipulate in their day-to-day life, and especially when they close their eyes,” says Matt Dony. “Once identified, it was also recognised as a response to other stimuli. What I’m saying is, after your last 24 hours or so, are you starting to see a red ball swinging back towards you out of the corner of your eye? Or a slip cordon just off your right-hand side? Have you started appealing boisterously for coffee?”
Not yet. But I have been weeping uncontrollably, if that counts as cricket-related in this of all weeks.
On a more serious note - because sometimes the fun has to stop - I did have the dreaded OBO Dream when I grabbed a few hours’ kip this morning.
Updated
Tea
21st over: South Africa 58-1 (Elgar 16, Amla 4) Cummins could barely be bowling with greater purpose if the match was in the balance rather than a foregone conclusion. It’s admirable stuff. He hustles through another maiden to Amla, and that’s tea. South Africa lead by 325 runs. See you in 10 minutes for the evening session.
Updated
20th over: South Africa 58-1 (Elgar 16, Amla 4) “Graeme Smith’s South African team is, perhaps, my all time favourite,” says Don Mihsill. “Start to finish, what a team. Looking at the current team, I’m staring at the middle order. FAF, AB and Hash are on the wrong side of thirty, approaching the mid-thirties. Ngidi’s breakthrough feels noteworthy but Morne is retiring. Steyn may not have more than a season or two, even then, who knows how much cricket he’ll manage? Vernon’s past 30 too. The Saffers are staring at a potential wholesale rebuilding within the next couple of years. Australia’s batting has been effectively neutralised for at least a year. Does this mean that this is going to be Virat’s, Kane’s and Joe’s time? Who knows, Afghanistan and Ireland may surprise a few. More the former than the latter. I’m glad they’re playing Tests in these times. What is your speculative take, Rob?”
When great cricketers retire I always doubt the process of regeneration. How can anyone possibly replace X, Y and Z?! Then a new star emerges, I marvel at the process of regeneration, and the whole thing repeats itself. South Africa will always produce pace bowlers, and Rabada could turn out to be the best of the lot. Markram, de Kock, Maharaj, Rabada and Ngidi looks a decent spine. I don’t know South African cricket that well but I’m sure there are some brilliant young middle-order batsmen around.
19th over: South Africa 56-1 (Elgar 16, Amla 2) Amla, who has had a tricky series, gets off the mark with an uppish flick for two.
WICKET! South Africa 54-1 (Markram c Handscomb b Cummins 37)
Markram falls, edging a good delivery from the relenteless Cummins straight to Handscomb at second slip. That’s Cummins’ 19th wicket of the series. There’s a ‘Cummins and goings’ gag in there somewhere but I haven’t had nearly enough sleep to find it.
Updated
18th over: South Africa 54-0 (Markram 37, Elgar 16) A single from Markram takes him to 1000 Test runs. As debut seasons go, his has been incontrovertibly adequate.
Only Graeme Smith has reached 1000 test runs for South Africa faster than Aiden Markram (18 innings)
— Darren Parkin (@Darren_Parkin) April 1, 2018
17th over: South Africa 53-0 (Markram 36, Elgar 16) Cummins has a strangled shout for LBW against Edgar, an inside-edge being the reason for the aforementioned strangulation. Cummins is steaming in as usual, despite the futility of the situation, and beats Markram with a snorting lifter. He has certainly earned the cold thing that is waiting for him at the end of this game. So has Markram, who brings up the fifty partnership with a sliced drive for four.
Updated
16th over: South Africa 47-0 (Markram 32, Elgar 15) Lyon returns to the attack and bowls a quiet over to Markram. I’m sure he’ll settle into a long spell now.
“Afternoon Rob, and Happy Easter to you and all OBOers,” says Simon McMahon. “Seems like wall to wall cricket at the moment - not that you can ever have too much cricket - but it’s been an intense few days. For some light relief ITV4 are showing Nottingham Forest draw 3-3 with Cologne in the 1979 European Cup semi-final first leg, played on what could be politely described as a ‘heavy’ pitch. Looks not dissimilar to the one on which Ronnie Radford scored his FA Cup screamer on a few years earlier. I’d like to see Man City do their stuff on one of those.”
When you consider the pitches and the fact that GBH was only occasionally a yellow-card offence, it was basically a different sport. Also: happy Easter!
15th over: South Africa 45-0 (Markram 30, Elgar 15) A few technical problems here. Apologies, yes?
Updated
14th over: South Africa 40-0 (Markram 29, Elgar 11) Markram clips Sayers in the air but safely wide of short midwicket for four. That takes the lead past 300, and he slams the next ball for four as well. South Africa are quietly moving towards a landmark series victory, their first at home to Australia since 1969-70. Australia are 80/1 to win this match.
13th over: South Africa 31-0 (Markram 20, Elgar 11) So, what’s your XI for Australia’s next Test in Zimbabwe in June? Let’s assume Starc is unavailable. I think I’d have a look at Jhye Richardson, and maybe a couple of new young batsmen between Nos 2 and 4.
Back in the present day, a short ball from Cummins is muscled emphatically for four by Elgar.
12th over: South Africa 27-0 (Markram 20, Elgar 7) Chadd Sayers replaces Nathan Lyon and is guided through the covers for two by the elegant Mr Markram. Meantime, the commentators are talking about Kevin Pietersen in the past tense. This makes me sad.
“Aaannnd Rob Smyth is back!” says Robert Wilson. “Another shift? What’s with this wage-slave ubiquity? Has your mortgage gone up? Is your crack-habit getting right out of hand? Poor you. Do you find yourself seized by sudden bursts of crazed laughter? Have you been saying unforgivable things about Graham Thorpe to your bathroom mirror? Well, old fellow, be comforted. As you hack away at the wordface with your tiny, exhausted pick, your mind filled with grotesque DRS replays of sellotape-wrangling, tears streaming down your little face, know this...you’re our hero.”
Here’s some exclusive footage of me in the office a couple of moments ago.
11st over: South Africa 25-0 (Markram 18, Elgar 7) Here’s Pat Cummins, who is on a hat-trick from the first innings. His first ball follows Elgar and whistles past his arm. Cummins appeals for caught behind, just in case, but the umpire Ian Gould is not interested. Cummins and Gould have a joke about the great lost hat-trick. What a guy Cummins is; from this distance, at least, he seems like the perfect model of the hard, fair cricketer. His first over here is a maiden.
10th over: South Africa 25-0 (Markram 18, Elgar 7) That’s a nice stroke from Elgar, a clip through midwicket for three off Lyon. South Africa’s lead is 292.
9th over: South Africa 21-0 (Markram 17, Elgar 4) Markram shapes to pull Hazlewood, realises the ball is coming at him with the force of a rising tide and aborts the shot. The next ball beats the inside edge as Markram wafts outside off stump, and then Hazlewood has an LBW shout turned down when Markram offers no stroke. It was just too high but that was a quite brilliant over from Hazlewood.
Since January 2017, Aiden Markram's scored 322 runs off the drive shot at an average of 322.
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) April 1, 2018
That's the highest average for any batsman, ahead of Cheteshwar Pujara (273), Tamim Iqbal (254) and Steven Smith (236).#SAvAus
8th over: South Africa 18-0 (Markram 14, Elgar 4) Lyon is toying with Elgar, helped by a pitch that is already pretty worn. Another maiden, and it feels like a matter of time before he gets his man.
“I tuned into TMS last night after returning from a late night out watching the Boxing,” says Jeff Docherty. “It was Aggers interviewing Sir Richard Hadlee in the break... I listened in and Sir Rich told some nice anecdotes and expressed some good ideas. Then when they were chatting about the ball-tampering scandal and cultural attitudes, Sir Rich offered up that the Aussie mentality is our fault because originally they were transported to Australia as criminals! Aggers let it go and they moved on. Now I’ve listened again to the TMS podcast of 36 mins, because I thought it an extraordinary thing to hear and it’s been doctored - they’ve edited out that small section of the interview!”
When’s Sir Richard doing his press conference?
7th over: South Africa 18-0 (Markram 14, Elgar 4) Hazlewood pops a terrific short ball past Elgar’s face. He played it well, swaying out the way like Robin Smith in his majestic pomp.
6th over: South Africa 16-0 (Markram 13, Elgar 3) Breaking news: one run has been scored from Nathan Lyon’s second over.
5th over: South Africa 15-0 (Markram 12, Elgar 3) Markram check-drives Hazlewood classily down the ground for three. Elgar, who is probably still high on that astonishing catch half an hour ago, defends the rest of the over.
Fantasy County Cricket
Now, the folks who congregate below the line on our county blog have organised a Fantasy League for the upcoming season. If you’re interested in joining, click here. The code you need is MVAMFAYQ.
4th over: South Africa 12-0 (Markram 9, Elgar 3) Thanks Jonathan, hello everyone. Nathan Lyon is into the attack already, and immediately demonstrates why with a vicious delivery that beats Elgar’s defensive poke. Lyon starts with a maiden, and you’d expect him to have a long bowl this afternoon.
3rd over: South Africa 12-0 (Markram 9, Elgar 3) Maiden to Hazlewood. Good line and length bowling, solid getting-everything-in-line batting from Markram.
That’s all from me for today. It’s time for Rob Smyth to shepherd you through to the close of play.
2nd over: South Africa 12-0 (Markram 9, Elgar 3) Sayers takes the new ball with Hazlewood but his first over goes for 11 courtesy of two hard-run threes and a thick Markram edge that runs along the ground to the vacant third-man boundary.
1st over: South Africa 1-0 (Markram 1, Elgar 0) Hazlewood begins tidily, conceding just one run to Aiden Markram. The first-innings centurion almost perished before his single, but escaped an uppish push that landed inches short of the short midwicket trap.
Out come South Africa’s openers to turn a 267-run lead into something Australia have no hope of chasing. Presumably they’ll be batting time as much as anything, giving their bowlers a rest and allowing Morkel as much opportunity as possible to recover from his side strain, all while avoiding a miscalculation with the showers.
Updated
Australia 221 all out (267 behind)
South Africa have declined to enforce the follow-on. That they have chosen not to owes much to Tim Paine who dragged Australia towards a respectable total with a gritty 62, ended by the most thrilling catch. Fifties to Pat Cummins and Usman Khawaja also deserve commendation but there was little else to celebrate.
Maharaj, Philander and Rabada all end with three wickets apiece but it was far from an A-grade bowling performance from the Proteas.
Updated
WICKET! Paine c Elgar b Rabada 62 (Australia 221)
What a way to end the innings. Paine glances a four off Rabada and then tries to smash him out of Johannesburg, advancing down the pitch, slashing, and sending the ball miles in the air over mid-off. Dean Elgar runs 10-20 metres towards the boundary, looking over his shoulder the whole time, and then dives full length like a border collie leaping after a tennis ball into water, clinging on to one of the most breathtaking catches you will ever see. This is Glenn McGrath taking Michael Vaughan at Adelaide stuff. Wow!
Updated
69th over: Australia 215-9 (Paine 56, Hazlewood 1) Hazlewood survives three deliveries, but only just, inside-edging Maharaj just wide of short leg. What can Paine do with his three balls? BOSH! He can launch Maharaj over long-on with a brutal slog sweep, that’s what he can do. Superb 50 for the Australian skipper. Fractured thumb, fractured dressing room, plenty of ticker.
68th over: Australia 207-9 (Paine 49, Hazlewood 0) Can Paine reach his 50? He declines a single from the opening ball, instead preferring to farm the strike and keep Josh Hazlewood away from Kagiso Rabada. He may live to regret his decision as Rabada sends down a series of lovely fast away swingers that deny any further run-scoring opportunities. The skipper will be disappointed with how both Lyon and Sayers threw their wickets away after all the fight of the morning.
WICKET! Sayers c Amla b Maharaj 0 (Australia 207-9)
Australia eight down now, and it should be nine but there’s a shocking drop at cover by Faf Du Plessis. Paine drove Maharaj firmly but at waist height straight to his opposing skipper and it was put down.
It is nine after all! Sayers with the limpest of square cuts lobbing Maharaj to Amla in the gully. After such an obdurate performance this morning Australia have now lost three wickets in five overs.
66th over: Australia 206-8 (Paine 48, Sayers 0) Sayers gets a beauty for his first ball in Test cricket, fast, lifting, cutting-in and almost sawing him in half. He survives though.
WICKET! Lyon c Elgar b Rabada 8 (Australia 206-8)
Rabada opens the bowling after lunch and he begins with some full outswingers to Nathan Lyon. The third is lofted over cover for four, the fifth is lofted into the hands of mid-off. Just the start South Africa wanted.
Updated
There remains a high chance of showers but there’s enough blue sky over the Wanderers to suggest we should get through the next little while unscathed.
Now then, can South Africa come out after lunch with a bit more va-va-voom?
The hierarchy that is overseeing cultural change in Aust cricket replaced Nevill with Wade because he was “too quiet behind the stumps”... There’s a ‘keeper out there now batting with a broken thumb who is making a statement that is loud and clear. #SAvAUS
— Wirra Wirra Vineyard (@wirrawirrawines) April 1, 2018
Talking about player misbehaviour, Michael Holding is discussing this on TV right now:
“When Darren Lehmann first announced he was not resigning, he said that he needed to change as architect of the team culture, adding that notorious “nice guys” New Zealand would be the side they would try to emulate,” writes Les Walke. “My first thought was, ‘what’s wrong with this picture?’ in view of his record. Any sign of decent behaviour in the current game or is the unpleasantness now too firmly ingrained in their DNA? I saw Lyon giving some very perfunctory applause earlier when Markram reached his century, but nothing like the sincerity I saw when Kane Williamson ran across the field to congratulate Bairstow as he left the field, and the genuinely friendly grinning between Wagner and Root during a bouncer barrage.”
Australia’s behaviour so far this Test appears to be first class. As mentioned below, I think this is in part due to them being behind in the game and in part due to the XI lacking many characters with the confidence to assert themselves at this level. It should also be noted Tim Paine as skipper has done plenty of hand shaking, bum patting and the like with the South Africans. He is the ideal captain to oversee this transitional period.
“Surely there’s far too much angst around at the moment on how we should view the last week’s events,” suggests Clive Darwell. “Can’t we all just simply rejoice in the pleasure of watching three Aussie cricketers cry in public in the space of a couple of days (just read the Osman Samiuddin article if you need a refresher on why). Everyone seems so sorry for Smith after he’s defended and hidden behind/benefited from Warner’s atrocious behaviour for far too long.”
I can understand the delight in some quarters at Australia receiving its comeuppance - as a cricketing force they deserve no sympathy - but it disturbs me that anyone could rejoice in watching young men in obvious distress. For the misdemeanour of scratching a cricket ball they have become the pariahs of a nation.
Lunch - Australia 201-7
Some disciplined batting by Tim Paine and Pat Cummins, and a lacklustre display in the field from South Africa, means Australia take lunch on day three still in with a chance of rescuing a draw from this Test match. Despite conditions being ideal for bowling nobody in the home attack delivered a spell of note and there was a noticeable lack of impetus in the field. Australia batted smartly, defending often but punishing the bad ball and going after Keshav Maharaj to try to deny the spinner an extended spell.
The main news of the session was the side strain that forced Morne Morkel from the field midway through his 12th over. He has not bowled since but has returned to the fray. His injury and Australia’s rearguard action now suggests only a slim chance of the follow-on being enforced, if South Africa achieve such a position of superiority.
Updated
65th over: Australia 201-7 (Paine 47, Lyon 4) Maharaj with the final over before lunch, and after Paine accepts a single Lyon competently dead-bats his way to a cup of tea and a slice of cake.
64th over: Australia 200-7 (Paine 46, Lyon 4) Rabada continues and he gets a good look at Nathan Lyon, the tailender surviving a defensive prod that flies off the shoulder of the bat and then escaping a loose drive that squirts just over the leaping gully.
Let's just put Pat Cummins in charge of Cricket Australia and give him the coaching gig as well #SAvAUS #SandpaperGate @JPHowcroft
— Peter Brown (@mentaliste) April 1, 2018
63rd over: Australia 195-7 (Paine 45, Lyon 0) Nathan Lyon sees off the remainder of Maharaj’s over. By the way, Paine and Cummins’ partnership of 99 was Australia’s highest of this series.
Updated
WICKET! Cummins LBW Maharaj 50 (Australia 195-7)
We have a review! Cummins attempts to sweep Maharaj but misses. The LBW appeal is declined on the ground - there is a suspicion of bat or glove - but South Africa send it upstairs. No bat, no glove, pitched in line, and going on to hit! There’s the breakthrough. It was a splendid knock from Cummins but on the stroke of lunch the Proteas finally have some momentum.
Updated
62nd over: Australia 195-6 (Paine 45, Cummins 50) Rabada’s back for a pre-lunch burst but he’s powerless to prevent Pat Cummins from reaching his maiden Test fifty. He brings up the milestone with a neat straight drive, using Rabada’s pace to his advantage. Outstanding knock from the young bowling allrounder.
Morne Morkel update: He has a left side strain, the exact same injury he sustained in the Bangaladesh series. He's getting treatment and strapping and will try to push on for the rest of the match. #ProteaFire #SAvAUS #SunfoilTest pic.twitter.com/1bQrhvqtOW
— Cricket South Africa (@OfficialCSA) April 1, 2018
Updated
61st over: Australia 192-6 (Paine 45, Cummins 47) Australia continue to look for runs off Maharaj and they find another couple of singles.
“How has the general behaviour of the Aussies been in this test?” asks Robin Hazlehurst. “Have they curbed their usual vicious, bullying personal abuse of opponents (lets not dignify it with the euphamism sledging)? Because it seems two things got conflated in Tampergate, the actual tampering and the sheer nastiness of the Australian team (I know others are also guilty but the Aussies do seem particularly unpleasant in their abuse). If the net outcome is an improvement in onfield behaviour and treatment of opponents then cricket will have gained, but it may be months and years before we know if that really happens.”
During this Test Australia have been unrecognisable. No hint of any misbehaviour. Tim Paine has led by example, shaking hands, patting bums, and playing with a smile on his face. It’s obviously a Test in which they’ve been well behind the eight-ball, and one containing a number of players yet to feel comfortable asserting themselves at this level, but it’s been a noticeable change all the same.
Updated
60th over: Australia 190-6 (Paine 44, Cummins 46) Paine continues Australia’s counterattack, cutting Philander with the timing and force of Robin Smith in his pomp. This partnership now worth 94 and a superb illustration of the character of the two men at the crease.
59th over: Australia 185-6 (Paine 39, Cummins 46) Maharaj is not making Du Plessis’ day any brighter. Australia are going after the left-arm spinner, trying to hit him out of the attack, and Cummins goes some way to ensuring that happens, thumping two fours and a six in an over full of intent from Australia. This game is not the walkover we expected a couple of hours ago.
58th over: Australia 171-6 (Paine 38, Cummins 32) Philander is hurried back into action in place of the stricken Morkel but the change of ends sees no change of luck for South Africa.
“If Dizzy has been offered the coaching role, or is in line for it, of course he’s going to keep his mouth shut until he sees what is happening. Or am I just being realistic?” asks Leon Wylie.
“From an English perspective we think of Gillespie as the best candidate but Langer has a very similar record in Australia,” writes Geoff Saunders. “Gillespie will have better knowledge of English cricketers - Langer better knowledge of Australian ones. That would make Langer favourite I think.”
My instinct is Langer would be a shoo-in to replace Lehmann in ordinary circumstances. However, he may be too close to the current set-up and the cultural issues Cricket Australia are, supposedly, trying to move away from. I would see Gillespie as enough of a shift to be palatable, and for him to be more inclined to adopt a different approach compared to the hard-nosed Langer.
57th over: Australia 169-6 (Paine 37, Cummins 32) Maharaj is now vital to South Africa’s chances in this Test but aside from the occasional delivery that does too much he hasn’t probed with much threat. Paine again pulls out the sweep shot for runs when there’s a hint of pressure.
“I didn’t hear the interview that Jeff talks about (54th over) but there can be no doubt there has been a lot of mumbo-jumbo spoken about this for years,” emails Scott. “The team and Cricket Australia seem to have bought into the myth they are trying to sell the public, that there’s no problem, despite the many ugly incidents on and off the field, as well as the opaque selection decisions that happen on a yearly basis.” If you haven’t read Osman Samiuddin’s piece on Cricinfo regarding Steve Waugh’s role in this, it’s worth a look. No prisoners taken and plenty of YouTube links provided.
56th over: Australia 166-6 (Paine 35, Cummins 31) This has not gone according to plan for South Africa. They expected to turn up, utilise the perfect bowling conditions and be ready to enforce the follow on before lunch. Instead Australia have batted almost 90 minutes without undue alarm. Two balls into Morkel’s 13th over things get even worse with the retiring paceman jogging off the field with what looks like a side strain. Hmmm. Aiden Markram completes the sort-of maiden.
What about Tim Paine. Busted finger and all. Has batted more than six hours since the Proteas last got him out. Averaging 52 since his recall #SAvAUS
— Adam Burnett (@AdamBurnett09) April 1, 2018
55th over: Australia 166-6 (Paine 35, Cummins 31) Maiden from Maharaj to Cummins. Du Plessis has brought the field in, denying any singles and inviting Cummins to hit over the top. Five dot balls precede a massive hoick that scuttles off the toe of the bat, nutmegs De Kock, and dribbles away for three very fortunate runs.
Tim Paine's average might fall after this Test but his current average of 71 batting at seven in four Tests in SA is the fourth-best ever for a batsman at that position or lower (min. 4 Tests).
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) April 1, 2018
Only Adam Gilchrist, Bryan Valentine & Jonny Bairstow have a better average.#SAvAus
54th over: Australia 162-6 (Paine 34, Cummins 28) Good Morkel, bad Morkel in the space of two deliveries to Paine. The first bounces on a length and catches the Australian skipper’s gloves, the ball dropping just short of the cordon. The second is a wide long hop that is kept to one by a cover sweeper. Not the fielding position you’d expect for a side in such ascendancy but Morkel’s loose delivery is frustratingly common.
Jeff Docherty has emailed an interesting comment on the subject of Australia’s next coach. “I listened into Tuffers & Vaughan the other night, Gillespie was their guest and i was interested to hear what he would say after reading his excoriating piece in the Guardian. He seemed to then backtrack and contradict his own position, he was clearly being economical with the truth of the Aussie cricket culture the last few years. He wouldn’t go there, eventually the telephone line went dead after Vaughan really nailed some home truths, obviously Gillespie had hung up. So i would say that there would appear to be confusion and denial at play and Gillespie might be a part of that.” Hmmm, that sounds like it’s a show worth listening to, can you find a link Jeff?
53rd over: Australia 161-6 (Paine 33, Cummins 28) Australia’s morning so far as play restarts following a drinks break. It’s been focussed, sensible batting from Paine and Cummins, lacklustre bowling from South Africa. The Proteas need a spark from somewhere. Maharaj cannot provide it but he does bowl a tidy over that includes one unplayable ripping delivery that jags past Paine’s outside edge.
52nd over: Australia 160-6 (Paine 32, Cummins 28) Morkel returns to his shortish length but his line is wayward this over, allowing Cummins to flay him for ten runs through the offside. This has been a composed hour of batting this morning from Australia.
51st over: Australia 150-6 (Paine 32, Cummins 18) Odd passage of play to begin Maharaj’s latest over. Paine tries an ungainly reverse sweep but doesn’t connect, prompting a strong LBW shout. Cummins calls his skipper through for a sharp single and only just survives a direct hit. Thereafter it’s a nice battle between bat and ball ending with Paine cutting beautifully behind square for four. Australia’s policy appears to be to not allow South Africa’s spinner to settle into a long spell.
50th over: Australia 144-6 (Paine 28, Cummins 17) Morne Morkel comes on for one of his final spells in Test cricket, and it begins with a maiden. Morkel is immediately on that awkward length, extracting steepling bounce and unsettling Pat Cummins but there’s no breakthrough.
“It seems that a follow-on (or opportunity to enforce) is inevitable,” emails Richard Mansell. “The only questions are if SA will enforce it or not, and if they do, if they win by an innings or not. Or am I being too optimistic? I suspect they’ll enforce it but can’t really say why. Probably a big enough first innings lead coupled with a reasonably true pitch which won’t deteriorate too badly?” Before today’s play it was made clear the follow-on would be enforced if possible today. However, the longer the day wears on and the more weary the bowling attack becomes that prospect diminishes. There’s also the weather to factor, of course, and the likelihood of lost overs could force Faf Du Plessis’ hand.
49th over: Australia 144-6 (Paine 28, Cummins 17) Fractured thumb or not Paine is batting superbly. First he paddle sweeps a couple then he slog sweeps a six to ask questions of Maharaj. The bowler responds by reducing his pace, bringing his length back and beating the outside edge. Terrific duel.
48th over: Australia 136-6 (Paine 20, Cummins 17) Rabada continues without much penetration. Cummins earns four from a squirty square drive that almost carries to Bavuma at point. The TV guys are having a nice chat about Rabada and the influence of Otis Gibson, including a close look at a training aid used by Gibson which looks like a normal cricket ball with the cheeks filed down to flat so it looks almost like a cricket ball yo-yo. Apparently it encourages a proud seam position.
“I agree with your comment,” begins Geoff Saunders, referring to 08:55 earlier, “except to say this: I loved watching Waqar and Wasim and they demonstrated true greatness - the opposition knows exactly what you are going to do but still cannot stop it. But I do not believe that they were cheating so I don’t think what I propose would stop what they were doing - maybe forget about the two ball thing. I was just thinking about giving the Umpire an over to inspect the ball.”
47th over: Australia 131-6 (Paine 19, Cummins 13) Keshav Maharaj is on but his first delivery is short and wide and smashed to the point boundary by a ruthless Paine. That cut shot made that satisfying whip-crack sound you dream of hearing when you shadow-bat with an umbrella. Maharaj doesn’t dwell on his misfortune, beating Paine’s outside edge with a perfectly flighted delivery from oround the wicket, spinning away from the right-hander. Paine adjusts, sweeping hard from middle stump and earning the second four of a productive over.
46th over: Australia 122-6 (Paine 10, Cummins 13) Rabada goes short this over to Cummins but the batsman does well to sway out of the line or climb on top of everything sent his way. He has an excellent technique with the bat for a fast bowler, young Cummins.
“Hi Jonathan,” hi Pete Salmon. “I may have missed this, but does Australia actually have a vice-captain at the moment?” Not that I’m aware of, but I may have missed things. I’ve presumed Nathan Lyon of Shaun Marsh would step in if required.
“If Paine’s finger gets worse, then who would run things? Or will the Australian team become an anarcho-syndilacist commune, in which they take it in turns to act as sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs but by a two thirds majority in the case of more etc?”
Updated
45th over: Australia 122-6 (Paine 10, Cummins 13) Excellent REVIEW from Tim Paine to overturn an LBW decision against him. Philander finally found that stump-to-stump line with a hint of wobble he is famous for and it wobbled enough to thunder into Paine’s pads in front of middle-and-leg, the only problem being a skinny inside-edge detected by DRS.
John Williams has a playlist. “The Ramones - whichever it is that has the Gabba Gabba Hey chant. Barrington Levy - Prison Oval Rock. Much Lord Kitchener and Mighty Sparrow of course.”
44th over: Australia 121-6 (Paine 10, Cummins 12) Maiden from Rabada. the pattern so far seems to be wide and left alone or short, straight, and defended. Not a great deal going on in Johannesburg on what is a torpid morning so far.
Richard Mansell is on the ball today. “Justice has a song called Newlands. I’m not a muso; just someone who knows how to use a search engine.” Great call Richard, and an excellent excuse to share their splendid video clip.
43rd over: Australia 121-6 (Paine 10, Cummins 12) Paine opens his account for the day with a full blooded pull shot off Philander. Big Vern finds the magic spot later in the over though, boomeranging one past Cummins’ forward prod to a chorus of oohs and ahhs.
Saw this unfortunate piece of advertising on the Guardians OBO for SA v Aus. Seems a little harsh @jphowcroft @jimmaxcricket pic.twitter.com/mF9YMESHlx
— James Spencer (@Ornid) April 1, 2018
That is not an editorial decision, I can assure you!
42nd over: Australia 116-6 (Paine 5, Cummins 12) Cummins nudges Rabada behind square leg for two to reach double figures. The bowler responds with the first really slippery delivery of the day, one that climbs on Cummins and beats him by plenty. He follows that up with the latest in a long line of deliveries to slide past the outside edge. South Africa starting to wake up here after a sluggish start.
Richard Mansell indicates “there’s a song called The Wanderers by Tokyo Ghoul, but I don’t think it is referring to cricket.” And asks, “When did the Wanderers start getting called The Bullring? I went there all the time as a kid and it wasn’t called that then.” Can anyone help out with an answer?
41st over: Australia 111-6 (Paine 5, Cummins 8) A bit of extra bounce forces a false shot from Cummins but there is no short cover in place to accept the opportunity. Otherwise Cummins deals with the over comfortably, nudging a single from the final delivery to end the run of 17 dot balls to start the morning.
Paul Kelly’s Leaps and Bounds is an obvious other cricket ground reference in a song. Everybody: “At the MCG-eeeeeee!”
Looking over the bridge
To the M.C.G.
And way up on high
The clock on the silo
Says eleven degrees
40th over: Australia 110-6 (Paine 5, Cummins 7) Kagiso Rabada also begins with a maiden. Felt like a bit of a loosener that one from the young tearaway.
Question for the musos out there... When I type Bullring in reference to the Bidvest Wanderers Stadium in Johannesburg, I am inevitably transported to the opening track from The Streets’ Original Pirate Material which makes reference to Birmingham’s Bullring. How many other songs touch on cricket grounds or their nicknames?
39th over: Australia 110-6 (Paine 5, Cummins 7) Vernon Philander opens with a maiden. Plenty of tempting wide outswingers for Pat Cummins but they were calmly ignored.
A special day for Grandstand's @jimmaxcricket who started at the ABC as a trainee 45 years ago today! Happy Anniversary Jim - a special milestone and one which has included so much cricket over the airwaves from around the world.
— Karen Tighe (@karentighe) April 1, 2018
Join him from Jo'Burg 5:55pm aet @abcgrandstand pic.twitter.com/ArdGcYlZxv
Chapeau.
I’m not sure Michael Wickham is taking the quest to find a new coach that seriously. “It has to be Kylie Minogue - untarnished image with the ability to lead the team in singing and dancing, a new paradigm for a good as gold cricket team.”
The protagonists are making their way onto the Bullring. It’s overcast, gloomy, cool, ideal for bowling.
Stephen Gelb has a wry take on Morne Morkel’s golden duck yesterday, one drawing similarities with The Don, Eric Hollies, and all that. “Typical tactics by Australia,” he joshes, “they clap Morkel, he gets tears in his eyes, doesn’t see the ball properly and nicks a catch first ball. Those dastardly Aussies...”
Geoff Saunders takes an interesting view to the future of ball management in the wake of the ongoing shemozzle. “First, it does look as if CA is running a damage-limitation exercise not a genuine enquiry and the press have been very soft on the Aussie team so far. Too many questions left unanswered. More importantly maybe, is what do we do about ball tampering? Something must be done to stop tampering but which still allows the bowlers to protect one side of the ball. Suggestions: 1) No pockets on trousers - ergo, nowhere to hide things. 2) Ban application of anything to the ball. Spit, sweat, everything. If a player is seen adding anything to the ball he is out of the match. 3) Use 2 balls, one for each Umpire. New balls taken as now.”
I like your creative thinking Geoff, but I would go the opposite direction. I’ve never understood the angst towards ball ‘tampering’. Reverse swing is good for the spectacle, we should encourage it. Pitches are flatter, bats are bigger, why are we so obsessed with tiny alterations to the ball which remain unproven actually influence the game? Besides, the skill required to execute reverse swing is phenomenally difficult, it’s not as if it’s a few scratches and Mark Ealham becomes Wasim Akram.
Some early correspondence to start the day. Feel free to join in yourself as play progresses.
Dave Kalucy kicks us off in an upbeat tone. “Loving the hopeful edge to this Test, and as they say in Spain nothing bad happens without bringing some good. So let me also put my hand up for Mr Gillespie, not only did he have the best haircut in cricket for years, barring of course the Merve handlebar, but is as you have all said he is also intelligent, thoughtful (thanks Guardian podcasts) and brings a totally new take to a team that could use some refreshment. Here’s to new beginnings.”
Consider me also Vote#1 Gillespie.
If no Australia batsman reaches three figures in Jo'burg it'll be the side's first series since the two-match clash against Pakistan in the UK in 2010 without an Australian hundred - quite a testament to the quality of SA's attack #SAvAUS
— Brian Murgatroyd (@murgersb) April 1, 2018
Meanwhile, over in New Zealand, England have the upper hand in the second Test.
Despite South Africa’s ascendancy the Gauteng weather could delay any result. Thunderstorms are hovering around the Wanderers and it would come as no surprise if some play was lost today, especially after lunch.
After the deluge of news and comment of recent days today has been altogether calmer. Chance to settle into Vic Marks’ look back on the torrid week that was.
Some breaking news (pardon the pun). As if Australia’s tour could not get any worse, skipper Tim Paine has suffered a hairline fracture to his right thumb. He intends to continue batting (he is unbeaten on five) and continue in the game as planned.
The injury arrived standing up to Chadd Sayers yesterday morning and at the time it looked painful but Paine soldiered on through the day. It remains to be seen if there is any lasting damage for a man cruelled so often by injuries and set to play a pivotal role in the reshaping of Australian cricket.
Preamble
Hello everybody and welcome to live coverage of the fourth and final Test of the series between South Africa and Australia.
It’s been all South Africa so far in Johannesburg and the Proteas will be sniffing victory heading into day three. Australia resume their first innings at 110-6, still 378 runs in arrears. On a pitch that’s offering plenty to the bowlers combined with Australia’s unfamiliar batting order there’s every chance the remaining 14 wickets could arrive in a hurry.
Yesterday belonged to Temba Bavuma who, after a sluggish start to his innings, peeled off an unbeaten 95 to assure himself of his place in South Africa’s middle order. Pat Cummins’ late burst robbed him of partners to chaperone him to a century but he can be delighted with his efforts nonetheless.
Only Usman Khawaja threatened to replicate Bavuma’s innings for the tourists, his top score of 53 one of only two in double figures for Australia. Matt Renshaw, Joe Burns and Peter Handscomb - the three batsmen replacing the suspend Steve Smith, David Warner and Cameron Bancroft - mustered just 12 between them.
As always, if you have anything to contribute I would love to hear from you. Email on jonathan.howcroft.freelance@guardian.co.uk or hit me up on Twitter @JPHowcroft.
Updated
