Report from the Wanderers
Close of play: South Africa 313-6
That was a fun and interesting first day, which ends with South Africa slightly ahead. Aiden Markram made a lovely, career-best 152 before the tireless pair of Pat Cummins and Chadd Sayers dragged Australia back into the match after tea. It’s a big first session tomorrow. It’s always a big first session tomorrow. You can join Jonathan Howcroft for that. Thanks for all your interesting emails about that sandpaper business. Bye!
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88th over: South Africa 313-6 (Bavuma 25, de Kock 7) Chadd Sayers bowls the final over of the day, his 26th. That’s some shift, even for a medium-fast bowler. de Kock leans into a wide one, cutting it brusquely for four. And that’s your lot!
87th over: South Africa 309-6 (Bavuma 25, de Kock 3) Lyon returns to the attack, a surprising move that is almost rewarded first ball when de Kock survives a big appeal for LBW. It didn’t turn enough. Bavuma top edges a sweep for two. We’ll only have time for one more over today.
86th over: South Africa 304-6 (Bavuma 23, de Kock 2) Bavuma has played nicely in this short innings. He’s a better player than Test average of 32 would suggest, though he has a frustrating habit of making nothing scores between 20 and 49.
Meanwhile, in dark times, few things lift the mood quite like an audience with Mark Wood.
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85th over: South Africa 302-6 (Bavuma 21, de Kock 2) Hazlewood beats Bavuma with a cracking delivery. One more wicket and you could argue this has been Australia’s day. South Africa were 246 for two at one stage. I still think South Africa will win but it could get hairy, especially as they have much more to lose than Australia.
“Andrew Hurley (78th over) has a point,” says Jim Todd. “Comparing the punishment given to the Australians for their behaviour to the punishment given to Mohammed Amir is ludicrous. In fact it borders on racist. Amir was younger than Bancroft and yet given a longer sentence.”
It’s almost as if match-fixing is more serious than ball-tampering!
84th over: South Africa 299-6 (Bavuma 20, de Kock 0) That over, a double-wicket maiden, was a triumph for Sayers - and for Tim Paine, who was criticised by everyone for giving the second new ball to Sayers rather than Cummins. Despite everything, Australia are still right in this match and series.
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WICKET! South Africa 299-6 (Rabada c Renshaw b Sayers 0)
The nightwatchman Rabada goes second ball for nought! He spooned an inducker to mid-off, where Renshaw swooped to take a good catch.
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WICKET! South Africa 299-5 (de Villiers c Paine b Sayers 69)
Chadd Sayers takes his first Test wicket! AB de Villiers went for a big drive and got a thin inside-edge to Tim Paine. de Villiers didn’t think he’d hit it and reviewed instantly, but there was a small spike and the decision was rightly upheld.
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83rd over: South Africa 299-4 (de Villiers 69, Bavuma 20) Hazlewood has been a little flat today. I suppose it’s been a tiring series even before you consider the events of the last week. Another quiet over costs a single.
82nd over: South Africa 298-4 (de Villiers 68, Bavuma 20) Chadd Sayers shares the new ball, a surprise given how well Cummins is bowling and always bowls. Sayers has also bowled more overs today and looks pretty tired. A harmless over passes without, well, harm.
“I think that you have a point, Rob, that the problem goes beyond cricket,” says Bill Hargreaves. I had to do some reading behind the psychological bases of populism and catastrophism (essentially grievance or trauma led behaviours). I think that the neoliberal West is at the behest of a few influences: a toxic, self-serving media; a competitive, consumption led culture based on narcissism (the self or those we see as a continuation of the self being the driving forces of our lives); a continuing polarisation of wealth and influence; and an education system that doesn’t effectively disrupt these influences nor focus on developing emotional intelligence whereupon they might be questioned.
“I guess that Don Mihsill, over 57, has a point with his Roman Amphitheatre reference, in that the circus provides a valuable distraction from grievance. My fourpenneth is that wholesale socio-political economic redirection is needed, probably moving closer to the Nordic countries’ models, but for that to occur we need a wholesale banana skin to recognise our mistakes. And of course there are many in positions of influence, funding political parties, for example, that would stand to lose a lot by a shift away from the status quo.”
The Nordic countries - and New Zealand - should be a model for almost everything in life. Except the beards. We could probably do without the beards.
81st over: South Africa 295-4 (de Villiers 64, Bavuma 20) Josh Hazlewood, armed with a second new ball, returns to the attack. A quiet first over, survived without alarm by de Villiers and Bavuma.
“Greetings from Cape Town, where we have had some welcome Good Friday rain,” says Andrew Gladwin. “My views on the ‘incident’ - I do think Warner, Smith, Bancroft and Lehmann are all reasonably decent people who made a mistake, and to some extent, they are been punished for the notion that the Australian public want a cricket team that they respect, more even than a team that wins. I hope out of all of it, cricket may become a kinder, gentler sport, which is what the world needs. But the far worse cricketing crime has been perpetuated by the ICC , who therefore have no moral authority, in restricting the World Cup to 10 teams and pretty much destroying Scottish, Irish and most of all, Zimbabwean cricket.”
I’m sure they’ve regretted that decision for a while now, not that it’s any consolation to anyone.
80th over: South Africa 294-4 (de Villiers 64, Bavuma 20) Another over of filler from Lyon before the second new ball. Bavuma leads into a high-class push drive for four. Seven from the over.
“Dear Rob,” says Robert Wilson. “Something I noticed about Sellotapegate on the Guardian was the sudden vertiginous decline in the wit and wisdom of below-the-line comments in the last few days. Gone were the delicate allusions to Commedia dell’arte and the faintly homoerotic Robin Smith nostalgiafests. Replaced by quite a lot of blow-in eff you, you effing effercommentators. I’ll say this about the football and rugby pages: they’re not sending us their best people.”
Oh-ho yes they are.
79th over: South Africa 287-4 (de Villiers 61, Bavuma 14) Matt Renshaw comes on for a solitary over of nothing offspin before the second new ball. Australia have really let the tortoise get away from them in the lsat half an hour, though their tactics will be justified if they take a couple of wickets with the second new ball.
78th over: South Africa 283-4 (de Villiers 60, Bavuma 13) “Rob, I’m not putting anyone in boxes,” says Andrew Hurley. “I’m simply saying they are cheats, and they shouldn’t have any sympathy. Anyone can do anything once. But to continually cheat, and in the context of cricket, I think it’s great they have been caught. They’ve gotten what they deserved and I would have preferred longer. When you compare their bans to Amir’s, you wonder in what world people live. As for the sympathy, their behaviour has been disgusting for some years now, and I’m surprised anyone can have any for them, frankly.”
I could not disagree more if I was Mother Theresa herself, but I do understand the viewpoint.
77th over: South Africa 280-4 (de Villiers 59, Bavuma 11) de Villiers rides the bounce to force Mitchell Marsh wide of gully for four. That was a brilliant shot. I know the stats suggest otherwise but there is a legitimate argument that de Villiers is the best Test batsman of this generation. He helps himself to four more later in the over, flicking a poor delivery to fine leg. After scoring 23 from his first 76 deliveries, de Villiers has hit 36 from the last 23.
“Pulling on Richard Horrocks’ thread (ooo-er, missus!), in order to reach the very top level of any sport, an individual has to have a determination to win that goes beyond most of us,” says Matt Dony. “No matter how ‘nice’ they are/seem, they simply need to have a streak of nastiness and willingness to do whatever it takes. Even if they keep it well hidden. Thierry Henry is a decent bloke, and seems almost universally well-liked. But did he own up to the handball against Ireland? My point is, if presented with an absolutely cast-iron method of getting an advantage without being caught, an awful lot of sportsmen would succumb.
“Whether we like to admit or not, and whether THEY like to admit it or not. BUT the fact that the contrition only came after being caught doesn’t mean it doesn’t come from a genuine place. Watching Smith break down as he faced the impact this whole thing has had on a cricket-mad nation, impressionable kids, and his father, was affecting. The bubble of professionalism kept him from seeing the bigger picture, and had he not been caught, it would have continued to do so. But they were caught, that bubble was punctured, and he saw his actions/inactions through different eyes. And I think most people would agree he was genuinely sorry.”
76th over: South Africa 271-4 (de Villiers 51, Bavuma 10) South Africa were really vulnerable ten minutes ago. Now they are having a fairly easy time in the window before the second new ball is available. Then Australia will have one last push to try to blow the series open again.
75th over: South Africa 269-4 (de Villiers 50, Bavuma 9) Mitchell Marsh replaces Cummins, a negative move that is punished with boundaries from both batsmen. This is poor captaincy from Paine, though understandable. A single from de Villiers takes him to a fifty of two halves: scratchy at first, dominant thereafter.
“Re the cheating Aussies, isn’t it interesting that some seem to have quite a lot of sympathy for them?” says Andrew Hurley. “One could understand Smith crying if he made a one-off error, as we are all prone to do. However, wasn’t he also caught cheating more than once versus India last year? And isn’t it coincidental mid-on/off had fingers bandaged to the nth degree during the Ashes? Sometimes on hear ‘X isn’t this sort of guy’ etc. However, here they, at least Smith and Warner, are exactly those kind of guys. They’ve got what has been coming for quite a while, and I for one think it’s great for cricket they are exposed. It wasn’t a one-off.”
I don’t agree with this need to put people in boxes, the good guys and the bad guys. We’re all good guys and bad guys. When somebody is lynchmobbed, I always think you should take the five most reprehensible things you’ve done in your life, then imagine being publicly shamed based on those actions. If you still have no sympathy for Smith after that, fair enough, but I do.
74th over: South Africa 258-4 (de Villiers 45, Bavuma 3) Lyon continues, a slight surprise given the reverse swing on offer. I know they want to keep Hazlewood for the second new ball but this feels like the more important moment. And de Villiers has started to bully Lyon, as he does again with a firm, lofted sweep for four.
73rd over: South Africa 253-4 (de Villiers 40, Bavuma 3) The hat-trick ball from Cummins is a peach that beats de Villiers’s tentative defensive push. The ball is reversing now, and the last ball of the over is another big inswinger that Bavuma leaves safely.
72nd over: South Africa 250-4 (de Villiers 39, Bavuma 1) It’s been a grim series for Faf du Plessis, at least with the bat: 55 runs at 9.16. Two from Lyon’s over, which means de Villiers will be on strike for the hat-trick ball.
71st over: South Africa 247-4 (de Villiers 37, Bavuma 0) That was the last ball of the over. Cummins will be on a hat-trick at the start of his next over.
“Was Mr Calder’s 62nd over set of instructions regarding “grilling his tortilla or his wife to be flipping it” some sort of code?” says Ian Copestake. “I have been reading Pynchon today (the real one not the one Salman Rushdie foolishly compared Sean Penn to) so am seeing conspiracies everywhere. My sanity is in your hands.”
Literally.
WICKET! South Africa 247-4 (du Plessis LBW b Cummins 0)
Two in two balls for Cummins! du Plessis padded up to a huge inswinger that trapped him plumb in front. The umpire couldn’t get his finger up fast enough. It was a bad misjudgement from du Plessis, and more brilliant bowling from the wonderful Pat Cummins.
WICKET! South Africa 247-3 (Markram c M Marsh b Cummins 152)
Markram’s lovely innings ends two balls after he reached 150. He steered Cummins towards gully, where Mitchell Marsh took a really sharp low catch. Markram walks off to a fine ovation, having put South Africa tantalisingly close to a series victory with another supreme performance.
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70th over: South Africa 241-2 (Markram 146, de Villiers 37) Lyon finally moves over the wicket to the right-handers - and he goes around the park! de Villiers sweeps and lapsweeps a couple of fours. Lyon goes back around the wicket, and de Villiers hoicks over backward square leg for six! Fifteen from the over.
“Please thank James Calder for his helpful contribution but that’s what I meant by flipping,” says Richard Mansell. “I’m amused that he thought we’d flip a tortilla like a pancake. The mess would be awful!”
69th over: South Africa 226-2 (Markram 145, de Villiers 23) Cummins continues, his elbow having been treated during that Lyon over. Markram waves a nice cover drive for two, which makes this his highest Test score.
“I am here, a-long-time-ago’s Matt Dony,” says Mac Millings. “And I’m actually looking for other people to make a comedy pun-based XI for me, in “honour” of my birthday (which was yesterday, but only one person bit when I made the same, desperate, tear-stained request on the New Zealand-England OBO).”
68th over: South Africa 223-2 (Markram 142, de Villiers 23) Lyon replaces Sayers. His first ball is worked round the corner by Markram, and Cummins does brilliantly to save the boundary. He has a nasty gash on his right elbow as a result and is leaving the field to have it treated. When I grow up, I want to be Pat Cummins.
“What if the Aussies had got away with cheating?” says Richard Horrocks. “And as a small thought experiment, what if their cheating method was foolproof. What if there was no way they could be caught such that they could achieve success through cheating with impunity and the only thing that stopped them was the quality of their character? Would these players, Smith included, have opted out and not cheated? THAT is the key consideration here. All of the fallout is due to being caught, and, of course, even the most rogue individual will apologise/cry etc. when caught in the wrong, but that doesn’t say anything about their true character. I think someone wise once said ‘integrity is doing the right thing when no-one is looking’. Who amongst us is confident that the players involved have such integrity given that we already know they are willing to cheat?”
Yes, I agree with a lot of that, but it doesn’t necessarily follow that their contrition was insincere. Young people are allowed to make mistakes, especially as wrongdoing often happens imperceptibly. There’s rarely one particular moment when we pause and give ourselves a Scruples Test. As Mike Atherton said, we strive to be the best version of ourselves and sometimes we fall short. That’s humanity. But yes, you highlight another problem – we will never know how they truly feel, because we have created a culture in which image is more important than reality. Don’t worry about doing the right thing, but by heaven make sure you are seen to do the right thing.
67th over: South Africa 216-2 (Markram 138, de Villiers 20) “The atmosphere in the stadium is getting distinctly boisterous, but very pleasantly so,” says Eva Maaten. “I guess, the SA fans are justifiably happy - Australian ones are keeping very quiet, flags have been put out of sight.”
That’s an extreme reaction to a bad day, but who am I to judge?
66th over: South Africa 213-2 (Markram 137, de Villiers 18) Sayers beats de Villiers, who is still batting with a disconcerting lack of fluency. Another maiden. Sayers has put a fair shift in: 22-5-55-0. But that ‘0’ is written in ink rather than pencil.
“Hi Rob,” says Ian Forth. “The thing that leapt out at me during the Steve Smith press conference was the line, ‘Sometimes good people do bad things’. In a week of getting press conferences wrong, this took the biscuit: quoting the words from Bloodline of a man who (* SPOILER ALERT *) just drowned his brother.”
HANG ON, FORTH. Wasn’t that the tagline to the (utterly brilliant) film A Simple Plan in 1999? It was also the exact phrase I used when my seven-year-old was busted stealing 10ps for the Pengo arcade machine.
65th over: South Africa 213-2 (Markram 137, de Villiers 18) Cummins is the kind of man who could do a 14-hour shift on a building site and then spend an hour benchpressing, erm, lots. Why, my brain seems to have momentarily forgotten how benchpressing is measured.
Anyway, Cummins ends another good over with a full, straight delivery that is flicked sweetly for four by the marvellous Markram.
64th over: South Africa 205-2 (Markram 129, de Villiers 18) That’s more like de Villiers, a sweetly timed push down the ground for two off Sayers.
“With Selvey’s solution, what’s to stop a bowling team from literally just rubbing the ball on the pitch until one side of it is completely ragged?” says Phil Harrison. “I mean, maybe that’s the idea but taken to its extreme, it could get a bit ridiculous, no?”
You’re always with the scenarios! (Yes, I take your point, but presumably the ball would have to be manipulated in the natural run of play. If nothing else, won’t somebody think of the over-rate!)
63rd over: South Africa 203-2 (Markram 129, de Villiers 16) That was the last ball of a brilliant first over from Cummins. He doesn’t do looseners.
REVIEW! South Africa 203-2 (Markram not out 129)
If you want something done, and you can’t do it yourself because you’re a wicketkeeper who doesn’t bowl, ask Pat Cummins to do it. He is back in the attack, replacing the slightly subdued Hazlewood (15-3-55-0), and his third delivery is a good one that beats Markram’s expansive drive. This chap is the best first-change bowler Australia have had in a long time - and now he has had a huge LBW appeal against Markram turned down.
Australia are going to risk their last review. It was a terrific delivery, which roared back to hit the knee-roll of the front pad. This is really close. Oh my, it’s missing! Australia have lost their last review. I’m really surprised by that; I thought it would be umpire’s call at worst for Australia.
62nd over: South Africa 203-2 (Markram 129, de Villiers 16) de Villiers, surprised by some extra bounce, survives a biggish shout for caught behind by Sayers. Australia rightly decide not to review. This innings has been a struggle for de Villiers, who has been timing it like a mortal. Later in the over he inside edges another delivery into the leg side. His bat has no middle today; it’s strange to watch.
“Hi Rob,” says James Calder. “There’s no need for Richard Mansell to be grilling his tortilla or his wife to be flipping it (pancake-style I assume). What they need to do is hold a big plate on top of the frying pan and turn the pan upside down so that the eggy side of the tortilla is face down on the plate. All they have to do then is slide the tortilla back into the frying pan, eggy side down, to complete cooking, on a low heat of course. They could, if they want, go the whole hog by getting an earthenware tortilla dish, which has wee base you can hold during the aforementioned manoeuvre. Grilling a tortilla is like putting sandpaper to a cricket ball. It’s just wrong.”
Are you suggesting Richard should be made to face the media at his nearest airport tomorrow morning?
61st over: South Africa 203-2 (Markram 129, de Villiers 16) Markram opens the face to slice Hazlewood through point for another classy boundary. He’s scored almost 70 per cent of the runs off the bat in this innings.
“What about new balls every 50 overs?” says Peter Mackelworth. “Wouldn’t that help the bowlers, and therefore reduce the motivation for ‘illegal’ working on the ball?”
Fifty might be too much but yes, you could bring it down to maybe 65 or 70. It feels like there should be a reason why this is a definite non-starter, but my brain isn’t telling me what it is.
60th over: South Africa 199-2 (Markram 125, de Villiers 16) Markram guides Sayers to third man for four, another terrific shot. Sayers is being played with ease now. He’s not a bad bowler; he’s just not an Australian bowler. It’s not a nice thing to say but you’d get short odds on him being a one-Test wonder. The moment I type that, he slips one past de Villiers’ inside edge and just wide of off stump. Nicely bowled.
“When a schoolboy the headmaster used to announce the Test score at evening assembly - round about close of play,” says Patrick Phillips. “There’s one score above all others I remember. I recall nothing of the match or the result of it but it must have been 1953. Shortly before close Australia were 32 for 8 ! Can you imagine the collective astonishment expressed in oohs and ahas of 100 schoolboys when we heard that. England’s 27 for 9 was not so bad. We had to play all games hard but fairly. No cheating. No aggression. My, how we enjoyed playing all games - win or lose. We had to learn to conduct ourselves appropriately whichever it was. It was as important to be a good winner as well as a good loser. Crying after a game of cricket? That would never have been acceptable. You’d be expected to man up to whatever befell you.”
Yes, it’s interesting to contrast the reaction to Kim Hughes’s tears and those of Smith and Lehmann. That’s one of the good things to come out of this week, even if there were still a few lamentable headlines and observations about what big boys don’t do.
59th over: South Africa 192-2 (Markram 118, de Villiers 16) The hitherto strokeless de Villiers goes after Hazlewood, clouting a pull over mid-on for four. He fetched that from a long way outside off stump. He didn’t really get hold of it but it cleared the man and raced away. Two more runs bring up the fifty partnership.
“I reckon the solution to the problem of flat pitches and a ball that doesn’t swing is to let the touring team choose the brand of ball,” says Rob Walter. “This would both even up the home-ground advantage that is seriously damaging Test cricket and mean that Australian Test grounds might see some swing occasionally.”
I like the principle but it feels a bit forced and gimmicky. It’s worth thinking about, mind. What I don’t understand is why teams have become so useless away from home at a time when cricket is more globalised than ever. The lack of a decent warm-up, though relevant, is surely overplayed.
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58th over: South Africa 186-2 (Markram 118, de Villiers 10) Sayers replaces Lyon. At his pace you’re only as good as your sideways movement, and at the moment there is none. Three from the over.
“This has been a long time coming,” says Jonathan Taylor. “The standard of behaviour of pretty much all teams (led by the Aussies) has over the last five years taken a huge dive. Before we get too smug England are far from angels. The ICC need to get the captains & coaches together & say from now on we will be stopping any misbehaviour. Penalty runs will be added for each instance – 5 or 10 runs per occurrence. Captains will be banned from subsequent games – whether involved or not. However, as the big three - Australia, England & India - seem to be the worst behaved there may not be much appetite for serious change.”
I agree with much of what you say. I wish there was such an easy solution but I don’t think there is, because in such an amoral, point-scoring culture there is no consensus as to where you find the line that shouldn’t be crossed. We don’t know where the line is; we know where our line is, and the co-ordinates are usually self-serving..It’s a mess; a problem that goes way beyond cricket, and way beyond my intellect.
57th over: South Africa 182-2 (Markram 116, de Villiers 9) It’s Hazlewood at the other end, and Markram cuffs him through backward point for another boundary. He is batting with such authority.
“Rob, I echo your sentiments about the lack of empathy,” says Don Mihsill. “There’s nothing to gloat about in young people making big mistakes. There’s no joy in seeing someone break down. Like Smith, I hope this is an inflection point: for the cricketers who did what they did, for the culture that enabled it and for us, the fans, many of whom have been no less than the spectators in a Roman ampitheatre demanding that blood be spilled. They have been punished, they’ll pay their dues and I look forward to seeing them in action when they’re back. We’ll be far better off for it.”
My concern is that there will be an overreaction to the overreaction, and that all competitive edge will be slowly driven out of the game. That would be worse than the current situation, for mine.
56th over: South Africa 177-2 (Markram 111, de Villiers 8) Mr Nathan Michael Lyon starts after tea, still bowling around the wicket to the right-handers. de Villiers defends a maiden. He has eight from 35 balls. He’s quiet; too damn quiet.
“I think that Richard Mansell, over 54, has give us some authentic frontier gibberish,” says Bill Hargreaves. “I, for one, am right behind him.”
“Evening Rob,” says Phil Withall. “Totally irrelevant question but does the third Test result count as a defeat for Tim Paine’s captaincy or will it get marked down against Smith? These are the sort of things that keep me awake at night...”
Smith. He who tosses has to live with the losses, as nobody ever said.
Tea
That, in fact, was the last over before tea. Aiden Markram strides off after making another charming Test century, and South Africa might be one good session away from a first home series win over Australia since readmission. See you in 20 minutes for more soothing Test cricket action.
55th over: South Africa 177-2 (Markram 111, de Villiers 8) AB de Villiers has just become the first South African to score 2000 Test runs against Australia. That includes my favourite pair of contrasting back-to-back innings, during the 2012-13 tour. There are very few sportsmen for whom the word ‘genius’ feels almost inadquate, but he is one.
54th over: South Africa 172-2 (Markram 107, de Villiers 7) Markram hoicks Lyon for a big, one-bounce four. It was pretty close to Khawaja, running round the boundary, but he got away with it.
“I’m making a tortilla for lunch (the Spanish kind), and I’ve put it under the grill to cook the top,” says Richard Mansell. “My wife prefers flipping it, but I’m lazy and I think this method is less risky of spillage, and less messy.”
Regular readers of the OBO won’t be surprised to hear I have precisely nothing to offer this or any other gastronomic conversation.
53rd over: South Africa 167-2 (Markram 103, de Villiers 6) Sayers replaces Cummins and finds the outside edge of Markram’s bat, with the ball falling fractionally short of Tim Paine. He asks the umpires to go upstairs, just in case, and they agree to do so. Replays confirm it fell short. Paine is booed by a few of the crowd, which is a bit harsh. He didn’t claim the catch.
“So Rob, I have a question,” says Phil Harrison. “Test cricket needs reverse swing, doesn’t it? Particularly when it’s played with a Kookaburra ball and particularly on the flat, slow, durable decks that characterise the modern game. It’s a worrying and under-discussed facet of the current difficulties but the next bowler/fielder to attempt anything other than the standard ball-on-trouser rub will be a brave cricketer indeed. Is there a way of legislating reverse into the game without sanctioning cheating?”
Yes.
What I would hope ICC manage as part of planned review is 1. bring in playing condition that allows for any legitimate ie no outside agents , work on the ball inc scratching, throwing in on the bounce etc. 2. then harden up the punishment for transgression.
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) March 29, 2018
Reverse swing is an enhancement to the game, and one of the few weapons at the disposal of bowlers given a poor cricket ball, with little seam, which goes soft after 20 overs. The game would be better for the change imo
— mike selvey (@selvecricket) March 29, 2018
But it won’t happen.
52nd over: South Africa 167-2 (Markram 102, de Villiers 6) Lyon and Burns collide while trying to field the same ball. They clashed knees as they slid towards the ball, but both seem fine. Somewhere in the world, Jason Gillespie winces.
REVIEW! South Africa 167-2 (de Villiers not out 6)
de Villiers survives a big LBW appeal after whipping across the line at Lyon. Australia decide to review, and if it pitched in line it’s a good shout.
Actually, I got that completely wrong. It did pitch in line but turned far too much and would easily have missed leg stump.
51st over: South Africa 166-2 (Markram 102, de Villiers 6) Not long now until tea. de Villiers is playing cautiously, particularly against Cummins, presumably with a view to punishing a tired attack in the final session. Although South Africa are on top, the match and series are still precariously poised. They could conceivably end today on 300 for two or 250 for nine.
“Mac Millings would be here, but he was caught altering the condition of the name of an obscure Zimbabwean batsman to fit him into a comedy pun-based XI, so he’s been banned from OBOs for 12 months and ordered to send 100 entertaining emails to local papers, supporting grassroots and community sports journalism,” says Matt Dony. “He didn’t cry, though.”
It was just raining on his face?
AIDEN MARKRAM MAKES HIS FOURTH TEST HUNDRED!
50th over: South Africa 166-2 (Markram 102, de Villiers 6) Markram works Lyon round the corner for a single to reach a sparkling hundred! There’s a huge cheer from the Bullring crowd, the sort usually reserved for a goal in football. This has been a lovely innings, especially after such a miserable week. It’s his second hundred of the series and the fourth of his career – and he only made his debut six months ago! He’s been out twice in the nineties in that time as well, so he could easily have six Test tons already. He’s
going to be
an absolute star.
49th over: South Africa 162-2 (Markram 99, de Villiers 5) de Villiers plays out an over from Cummins, which means Markram will start the next over on strike, on 99. I suspect de Villiers will be backing up a fair way.
48th over: South Africa 160-2 (Markram 99, de Villiers 3) Markram, on the charge, threads Lyon through extra cover for four. That takes him to 97, and two more singles move him to within one of another Test hundred.
47th over: South Africa 152-2 (Markram 93, de Villiers 1) The tireless Cummins bursts a superb delivery past Markram’s outside edge, and then beats de Villiers with an absurd seaming lifter. What a delivery! He is such an impressive bloke and bowler.
“Dear Rob,” says Amod Paranjape. “Sorry mate. But empathy is given to humans not sanctimonious persons who dish it out and cannot take it. I am an Indian and there is absolutely no sympathy for the Australians here.”
46th over: South Africa 149-2 (Markram 90, de Villiers 1) AB de Villiers gets off the mark with a simple single off Lyon, and then Markram is beaten on the inside by a ball that turns past leg stum for four byes. This is such a big partnership between the two leading runscorers in the series. If Australia get another quick wicket here they could end up having a very good day.
BREAKING NEWS: AB de Villiers is batting
45th over: South Africa 142-2 (Markram 88, de Villiers 0) “Dear Rob and dog,” says Aditi Prabhudesai. “Commiserations on your loneliness. Speaking of which, doesn’t Joe Burns with his facial fittings look as if he was perched on a rock in the Himalayas or living in a cabin in the woods when he got the Test call on his mobile phone? Also, has there ever been a more incongruous pair of openers in terms of facial hair than Burns and Renshaw (who may have never had to shave)?”
It’s a little known fact that WG Grace opened the batting with the Duke of Wellington.
WICKET! South Africa 142-2 (Amla c Handscomb b Cummins 27)
This is a ridiculous catch from Peter Handscomb! Amla chased a wide, full delivery from Cummins and edged it high to the right of second slip, where Handscomb went with both hands to take a blinder.
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44th over: South Africa 139-1 (Markram 85, Amla 27) Amla charges Lyon, who fields the resulting drive in his followthrough. Two from the over.
43rd over: South Africa 137-1 (Markram 84, Amla 26) “Hello!” says Richard Mansell. “I’m here but there doesn’t seem too much to say at the moment. The game is ticking along.”
Which I suppose, in the context of this week, is a pretty good thing.
42nd over: South Africa 135-1 (Markram 83, Amla 25) Lyon has three men round the bat for Markram: slip, leg slip and short leg. OU EST LE BATPAD? Three from the over, and that’s drinks.
41st over: South Africa 132-1 (Markram 80, Amla 25) Markram pulls Hazlewood for four, a lovely, smooth shot. He is some player, this kid.
“Hey Rob,” says Tapan. “Haven’t heard from you on ‘sandpapergate’ yet. Curious to know.”
I’m not sure I’ve much to add. It’s a very sad mess. I was more troubled by the grotesque reaction, which confirmed an urgent shortage of empathy in the world, than the action. I thought the punishments were excessive, but then again this has been coming for a long time. There are so many strands that it’s hard to tie them all together. Nobody comes out of it with much credit. I wish somebody would ban Twitter for a year, that might help.
How about you Tapan, what did you think?
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40th over: South Africa 125-1 (Markram 73, Amla 25) Lyon replaces Sayers and goes straight around the wicket to Markram, who works a single to leg. I haven’t done an OBO for a while so am a bit rusty - apologies for the brevity of some of these entries. It’s a manic experience, especially if you haven’t done it for a while. But enough about etc, we were talking about the OBO, honk.
39th over: South Africa 124-1 (Markram 72, Amla 25) This is a good spell from South Africa, with batting looking increasingly comfortable. They know they could bat Australia out of the series today. That said, there have been so many collapses in this series that they won’t look too far ahead. A maiden from Hazlewood to Amla.
38th over: South Africa 124-1 (Markram 72, Amla 25) Sayers is working hard - this is 15th over - but his pace is around 125kph and Shane Warne is not happy with that. I’m really surprised Lyon has only bowled four overs.
Is anyone out there? I’m getting a bit lonely, though I do have a dog for company.
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37th over: South Africa 122-1 (Markram 71, Amla 24) Somebody could write a darned good book on the rivalry between South Africa and Australia since readmission. There have been so many epic matches and confrontations, not to mention all the controversy and fun: the hole in the door of the umpire’s room, Warne v Hudson, Brian McMillan’s gun and so on.
Come on, somebody write that book.
Back in the now, the first ball of a new spell from Hazlewood is flashed just over the head of gully for four by Markram. Mitchell Marsh had no chance of taking that. Later in the over, Amla cuffs an emphatic pull for four more. Lovely.
36th over: South Africa 111-1 (Markram 66, Amla 18)
Really good, sober piece this. I also learnt something about the colour-coding of different grades of sandpaper. #winning https://t.co/sR6LTiVjEB
— mark butcher (@markbutcher72) March 30, 2018
35th over: South Africa 108-1 (Markram 63, Amla 18) Markram and Amla are a vision of South Africa’s past, present and future. They are two lovely, serene batsmen - one an all-time great, one a potential great. It’s nice when generations cross over, even if there is a sadness that we won’t see Amla much longer. At the risk of stating the obvious, what a credit to cricket, the coaching manual and mankind he has been.
34th over: South Africa 105-1 (Markram 62, Amla 17) Batting isn’t exactly comfortable for South Africa, with a few thick edges since lunch, but every wicketless over takes them closer to what they want. Though Cummins and Sayers have bowled well since lunch, it’ll probably be time for Lyon soon.
“Not sure if I’m the only reader who is actually in the Bullring, but the atmosphere is great, pleasantly laid back so far,” says Eva Maaten. “We’re sitting near a group of flag-wielding Australians (as we realised when Lyon took the wicket of Elgar), so that could become interesting as the day (and the level of inebriation) progresses...”
Are you suggesting a correlation between alcohol and aggression? They never told us that in the Carling Black Label adverts.
33rd over: South Africa 104-1 (Markram 61, Amla 17) You couldn’t ask for much more in a change seamer than Pat Cummins. He is a specialist in taking wickets when Australia really need them, and they sure need one now. Amla edges a good delivery well short of second slip, a reflection of the slow pitch and Amla’s Fairy Liquid hands.
32nd over: South Africa 103-1 (Markram 60, Amla 17) Markram drives Sayers through the covers for four off the back foot, a shot of rare beauty. South Africa are slowly moving into a position from which they should - should - finally win a home series against Australia for the first time since readmission. They would have done it at the first attempt, in 1993-94, but for an unlikely matchwinning spell from Steve Waugh. Just look at this scorecard.
31st over: South Africa 98-1 (Markram 55, Amla 17) Amla, on the drive, squirts Cummins to third man for four. A trampoling bouncer clears the Australian captain Tim Paine - what odds would you have got on that phrase four months ago - and goes for four byes.
“I trust all those displaying mocking banners (they’re ever so witty, aren’t they?) and throwing jibes at the Australians fully support Tim Paine and co’s right to give SA batsmen a full scale send-off when they nick off?” says Gary Naylor. “In less than a generation, we’ve seen a cultural shift into the social acceptability of both kicking a man when he’s down and knee-jerk sympathising with perpetrators if they take the Oprah defence and cry on TV. I’d venture that both reactions are dysfunctional. The Aussies deserve to be left alone now as punishments have been meted out. And, yes, sanctions do hurt - they’re supposed to - and tears are no mitigation.”
What irks me is that the people patting Smith on the back and saying “There there” are the same ones who demanded his public humiliation. It’s a perverse ritual. It’s like Janice Soprano weeping about how much she loved Richie Aprile, having plugged him full of lead a few hours earlier. It’s just a sad mess. I don’t necessarily agree that tears are no mitigation but I take your point.
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30th over: South Africa 90-1 (Markram 55, Amla 13) The smile of a child can bring hope in dark times, and Aiden Markram’s batting has had a similar effect so far today. He is a gem, with the charm of youth and the calm of a veteran. If he doesn’t make it, we might as well all pack up and go home. He works Sayers off the pads for two before being beaten by a beautiful full-length delivery that snaps off the seam. That was lovely bowling.
Markram then survives an LBW appeal after padding up to a nipbacker. It didn’t do enough and Australia barely considered a review. But that was an excellent, Philanderian over from Sayers.
29th over: South Africa 88-1 (Markram 53, Amla 13) The admirable Patrick Cummins starts the afternoon session by homing in on Hashim Amla’s front pad. One inside-edge prompts a few oohs and aahs; that aside, Amla defends well. A maiden.
“I guess The Books will be out for Christmas,” says Tony O’Hanlon, “if not before.”
You think? I’d be surprised if they monetised the darkest period of their lives, though that might be a naïve view. I suppose anything’s possible with David Warner.
Thanks Jonathan, good evening/afternoon/morning everyone. The players are back on the field, so let’s proceed directly to the cricket.
That’s all from me for now. Rob Smyth is now here to take you through the rest of the day.
Needless to say Matthew Hoggard was a tremendous bowler who did much more than whang it down, however much he doth protest.
@JPHowcroft I'm in the Matthew Hoggard "Just whang it down" school of thinking. To the bowlers, the ball is a tool, one bashed about by pitch, bat and possibly advertising hoardings and then er... worked on by the fielders. They get it back and then they get it to the other end
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) March 30, 2018
Cricket coaching with Matthew Hoggard, a one-part series, episode one: “Just whang it down!” That’s all we have time for on this week’s show, thanks for joining us, and remember, “Just whang it down!”
Apologies if this has been already covered off but... why do cricketers have a need for sandpaper in the dressing room? Usually when I have a sudden sanding or roughing up impulse, wouldn't you just know it... next thing I'm in Bunnings buying garden furniture
— Tin Kettle (@senticknap) March 30, 2018
It’s a staple of batting coffins to smooth off pieces of chipped willow, so not that unusual to see it in circulation. Although watching Cameron Bancroft assemble a flat-pack gazebo from the edge of the ring would have been preferable in the circumstances.
If anyone wants a reminder that this is a fundamentally cruel & unfair world where the bad guys usually win, Australia v South Africa from the 1999 World Cup is currently on Sky.
— Nick Miller (@NickMiller79) March 30, 2018
@JPHowcroft re: bowlers not noticing, people have to remember ball tampering is that it is about lessening the time it takes for reverse to happen. It's like slowly turning up the volume so no-one notices.
— Brenden Fawkes (@BrendenFawkes) March 30, 2018
And if you like even more sports than cricket (I don’t know who these people are either) then there’s a weekly round-up that caters for your more catholic tastes.
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Don’t forget, if you like cricket (and why would you be here if you didn’t?) The Guardian produces an unmissable weekly cricket round-up called The Spin. You should sign up for it.
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@JPHowcroft Aiden Markram looks a good player. Does he have an English second cousin once removed?
— George Dabby (@GeorgeDabby1) March 30, 2018
He sure is George, and commendably orthodox in an era of idiosyncrasy. Very impressed with him.
One of the most unusual weeks in modern Test cricket ends with a reassuringly normal session of modern Test cricket. South Africa won the toss and chose to bat on a pitch that did a bit for the opening hour,. Their batsmen played and missed at a few swinging deliveries, generally did little wrong and arrived at lunch in a handy position. Aiden Markram was the star of the show, defending solidly, attacking with grace - especially through the off-side - and enhancing his burgeoning reputation.
Australia were serviceable despite the upheaval of recent days. Chadd Sayers looked accomplished on debut, if a few yards of pace short of consistently threatening. Tim Paine has kept things ticking over behind the stumps.
Lunch - South Africa 88-1
28th over: South Africa 88-1 (Markram 53, Amla 13) Sayers to bowl the final over before lunch with Markram on the verge of a milestone. The crowd understand, giving Sayers the handclaps during his run-up. Three dot balls suggests an anticlimax but the fourth is drilled gloriously, inches wide of the umpire’s ankles, all the way to the sight-screen at the Golf Course end, to bring up a very very impressive fifty.
27th over: South Africa 84-1 (Markram 49, Amla 13) Mitchell Marsh has his first dart of the day (bowl, I mean, not cigarette), still looking a little tentative with his groin injury. It’s a serviceable set of six but the game is in a pre-lunch lull.
26th over: South Africa 80-1 (Markram 47, Amla 11) Sayers bowls straight, South Africa bat straight. Moving into ‘playing for lunch’ time here at the Wanderers.
25th over: South Africa 78-1 (Markram 46, Amla 10) Hazlewood continues to toil but Markram and Amla are comfortable seeing him off for now.
Felix Wood has a response to Tony Sanderson (22nd over). “Tony Sanderson asks a good question, and indeed it does seem odd that three batsmen would try and change the ball for the sake of improving bowling without consulting any bowlers at all. But Smith, Warner and Bancroft have all said it was done completely independently and there is nothing in their record that would suggest that they can’t be trusted completely, so it’s a bit rude to even think that the whole thing seems a bit fishy.”
Respectfully, I disagree, and think it’s a perfectly understandable question to ask given the circumstances. For example, look at the suggestion England made recently that after the Ashes Australia’s ball management was openly discussed. It’s not fanciful to wonder how this could go unnoticed by the men holding the ball most often.
24th over: South Africa 77-1 (Markram 45, Amla 10) Chadd Sayers replaces Nathan Lyon in an odd move from captain Paine, a decision made to look ever odder when Amla plays a backfoot drive for four with all the time in the world. “Looks a little up and down” is Graeme Smith’s unflattering assessment of Sayers. “Looks a little off the pace.”
To think all it took for Sayers to get a cap was the coach, captain, vice-captain and opener departing and the general collapse of Australian cricket.
— Tom Richardson (@TomRichardson) March 30, 2018
23rd over: South Africa 73-1 (Markram 45, Amla 6) Hazlewood continues and he’s so unlucky not to find Markram’s edge with a beauty on a perfect line and length. Amla works three with a lovely front foot drive through the covers.
That was Nathan Lyon's 12th wicket of the series. He's picked up 8 left-handers at an average of 13.12 v 4 righties at 71.75.
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) March 30, 2018
Since January 2016, he averages an acceptable 38.77 v right-handers with R Aswhwin's 29.16 being the best off-spinner in that list.#SAvAus
22nd over: South Africa 70-1 (Markram 45, Amla 3) Lyon continuing with his policy of landing massive rips outside off stump to the two right handers. Markram’s having none of it though, dispatching a serviceable delivery miles over straightish long on for a majestic six. That one came right out of the screws, and he advanced so quickly, denying Lyon any opportunity to readjust. Gorgeous.
Tony Sanderson has a pertinent question. One I doubt will ever be answered satisfactorily. “Didn’t the Australian bowlers notice that the ball had been tampered with in the first three matches? This hasn’t been commented on.”
21st over: South Africa 63-1 (Markram 39, Amla 2) Hazlewood’s back into the attack to see if he retains the wood over Hashim Amla. He may, but the batsman is able to leave four outswingers alone, milking the straighter sixth delivery for a single to fine leg.
20th over: South Africa 62-1 (Markram 39, Amla 1) Lyon’s making the ball hop around like a rodeo clown in the Bullring, massive revs hitting the deck generating turn and bounce. The right-handed pair at the crease are deep in their territory and trying to ride the bounce with soft hands into the leg side. That is until Markram leans into an off drive that does not look more than a push but is timed to perfection all the way to the extra cover boundary. He has played some sumptuous drives through the off side today, very elegant batsman.
19th over: South Africa 56-1 (Markram 34, Amla 0) That was poor batting from Elgar. Cheap and needless dismissal in what was a sketchy innings designed purely to disprove my recent claim of unmatched nuggetiness. Cummins is straight into Amla, targeting the right-hander’s pads from the off, extracting a hint of in-swing. Amla looks a little shaky early on and Australia have their tails up.
Dan Hunt has a housekeeping enquiry. “Any idea who the new Aussie vice captain is?” My understanding, Dan, is there isn’t one for this Test. Presumably there’ll be a nominated leader should anything happen to Paine - Shaun Marsh or Nathan Lyon would be my guesses.
WICKET! Elgar c Sayers b Lyon 19 (South Africa 53-1)
18th over: South Africa 53-1 (Markram 32) Plenty of turn for Lyon who’s ripping his offies hard. After a few just a fraction short or wide he lands one perfectly to Elgar who is beaten all ends up as he propped forward. The batsman responds by advancing down the pitch to the next delivery and attempting to drive against the spin into the on-side, succeeding only in spooning a leading edge to Sayers at mid-off. Breakthrough for Australia.
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17th over: South Africa 51-0 (Elgar 18, Markram 31) Unsurprisingly, Australia are far less noticeable in the field than we’ve come to expect, but it’s far from the funereal atmosphere that could have descended on the touring party. A short while ago there was a shot of the players’ box where Mitchell Starc was provoking a few smiles with his japery. More runs for South Africa, despite a back-bending over from Cummins. Markram looks the more fluent of the opening pair but nobody is more nuggety than Elgar in world cricket right now and he’s still unbeaten.
16th over: South Africa 47-0 (Elgar 15, Markram 30) First look at Nathan Lyon for the Test and he takes three balls to force the poorest shot of the match. He beats Elgar in flight but the batsman follows through with the shot, slicing an ugly outside edge that floats high and agonisingly wide of point. Just to prove cricket’s unfairness he earns four a couple of deliveries later with a well-timed push down the ground.
Expectations are high for the GOAT on a surface that should offer him plenty of bounce, arguably Lyon’s greatest weapon.
15th over: South Africa 40-0 (Elgar 9, Markram 29) Cummins continues after drinks but South Africa remain in control of proceedings. Again, anything teasing is being left well alone, anything straight is being defended compactly and anything in the slot is picked off efficiently. This time it’s Markram firing his fourth drive of the morning through the offside for four runs of crackling excellence.
“Good Morning, You don’t happen to know if someone from the Australian set up popped round to see Nigel Llong, Richard Illingworth and Ian Gould to apologise for what happened and their deception in the last game?” asks Steve Sanderson.
Good question, and I don’t have the answer to hand. I think James Sutherland may have mentioned something in one of his press conferences, but as for a personal apology to the umpires concerned, I’m not sure.
14th over: South Africa 35-0 (Elgar 9, Markram 24) Oooh, close for Sayers. Testing line and length during the seventh over of his spell, beating Markram with an inswinger first ball then an away swinger second. The latter of that pair was a delightful delivery and Markram was lucky not to nick it. That concludes the first hour, time for drinks.
13th over: South Africa 34-0 (Elgar 9, Markram 23) Both batsmen have done well to pick length so far, adjusting to anything on a good length or shorter and riding the bounce. This has been especially notable to the quicker Cummins. Good patient Test batting.
7 operations, 4 bone grafts ,dropped, overlooked as a keeper, lost his confidence and his finger couldn’t wrap around a bat for 3 years. So he’s learnt how to fight. He will unite this team and eventually restore public’s pride in their cricket team. #Paine #CricketAustralia pic.twitter.com/WD4QGWjtIQ
— Robert Shaw (@shawry_analyst) March 30, 2018
12th over: South Africa 33-0 (Elgar 9, Markram 22) Sayers has moved around the wicket to Elgar but the wily left-hander is not looking to play at anything he doesn’t have to during these early exchanges, leaving plenty outside his off stump. South Africa almost through the first hour, after which they’ll be confident of playing conditions easing into their favour.
Can someone help out Robert Wilson? “Why aren’t Warner and Smith playing?” he asks. “Has something happened? I’m fed up to the back teeth with how little coverage cricket gets in this shallow and venal world. Honestly, it’s like trying to keep up with the backstage gossip from my quarterly Over-40s Aerobic Medieval Cookery class. I need information! Better still, some opinion...”
11th over: South Africa 33-0 (Elgar 9, Markram 22) First change of the day sees Pat Cummins replacing Hazlewood and it’s another solid but unspectacular Australian over. The young quick tries digging a couple in but doesn’t get much in return. The pitch looks to be settling down nicely for batting.
10th over: South Africa 30-0 (Elgar 8, Markram 20) Nearing the end of the two opening spells and South Africa will be delighted with their progress. Sayers has bowled reasonably but hasn’t managed to get much past these excellent openers. A graphic shows 85% of deliveries have been under 130kph which is most likely a factor in his lack of penetration.
I reckon it was, coincidentally, at Joburg 12 years ago tomorrow: 31.03.2006.
— Ric Finlay (@RicFinlay) March 30, 2018
Langer, Hayden, Ponting, Martyn, Hussey, Symonds. https://t.co/ECNkE76od5
9th over: South Africa 28-0 (Elgar 8, Markram 18) Couple of leg-byes off another archetypal Hazlewood over.
“Morning Jonathan,” emails James Rowland. “A little off topic but what’s your view on Joe Mennie as Lancashire’s overseas signing for 2018? Do you think he’ll be suited to English conditions?” Yes James, I do. He’s 29, averages 27 in FC cricket in Australia, puts the ball in the right areas often. Fits the County-pro stereotype to the letter.
8th over: South Africa 26-0 (Elgar 8, Markram 18) Sayers continues his tidy work, ploughing a consistent if unthreatening furrow. Michael Holding questions whether he could use the crease more than he has done so far to pose problems, especially for someone often dropping below 130kph. Markram is fine with where Sayers is releasing from, crunching the final ball of the six through the offside for four.
@MikeHaysman @ShaneWarne @paulharris12 Never let it be said that tha Aussies don’t have a sense of humour #ProteaFire #SAvAUS #Wanderers pic.twitter.com/DkjQizkltJ
— Frank (@DodkinsF) March 30, 2018
7th over: South Africa 22-0 (Elgar 8, Markram 14) Very Hazlewood areas this over, full and straight forcing South Africa’s openers to deal with the decent bounce and occasional movement on offer. Markram does well to pinch a single to deny a second maiden in a row for the leader of the Australian attack.
Say cheese 😁 #FarewellMorne #ProteaFire #SAvAUS #SunfoilTest pic.twitter.com/ggJEfgccyj
— Cricket South Africa (@OfficialCSA) March 30, 2018
6th over: South Africa 21-0 (Elgar 8, Markram 13) After a couple of tight overs South Africa are back in the runs. Sayers finds a bit of away swing but it lands on a half-volley length outside off stump and Markram gives it the one-knee finish as he caresses a cover drive to the fence. The next shot is a whole lot more ugly, straighter, inducing a clumsy-looking leading edge but it spoons safely to where a short mid-on would be stationed.
Daniel McDonald emails in concerned with our national focus. “I’m confused by differing moral standards,” he writes. “Wilfully conspiring to circumvent laws and norms. Guilty of morally outrageous behaviour. Striving to avoid transparency and responsibility in the immediate aftermath. Exposing younger people in your care to stress, abuse, and illegality. Sacrificing ethical behaviour and simple decency for partisan success and spurious victory. A cause of international scorn, shame, and condemnation. Remind me again why Stephen Smith receives Malcolm Turnbull’s fierce opprobrium, and Peter Dutton does not. Imagine if Smith’s tears and torment were emulated by those who act far more egregiously in areas of public life that are much more consequential than even test cricket.”
5th over: South Africa 15-0 (Elgar 7, Markram 8) This feels like a Hazlewood pitch and you can see why when he sends down deliveries like the third ball of this over; McGrath-like line and length with just enough movement to miss the outside edge of Markram’s bat and the tip of the off-bail. Three balls later he moves wide of the crease and nearly cuts his foe in half with a vicious off-cutter. Hazlewood nicely into his work now.
4th over: South Africa 15-0 (Elgar 7, Markram 8) First win for the bowlers this morning with Sayers beating the outside edge of Elgar’s bat. That’s the standout moment of a very tidy maiden for the debutant. He’s settled into a line and length immediately. Warne on comms comparing Sayers’ action to that of Michael Kasprowicz.
3rd over: South Africa 15-0 (Elgar 7, Markram 8) Two boundaries from Hazlewood’s second and both to Markram. The first is a crisp backfoot drive that skips over the rapid Bullring outfield. The second is a neat clip off his pads through midwicket.
2nd over: South Africa 7-0 (Elgar 7, Markram 0) Chadd Sayers, a new-ball bowler for South Australia, shares opening honours on debut. He sends down a promising over too, shaping the ball nicely into the left-handed Elgar, and on one occasion not very nicely indeed, smacking the South African flush on his box. For those unfamiliar, Sayers is a 130kph right-arm swing bowler in the mould of Vernon Philander.
Shane Warne on comms is unironically discussing who the next coach of the Australian team should be. He reckons Justin Langer is the man to address the cultural issues in the dressing room and draw a line in the sand. My two cents is that Langer is too close to the current group and the modern Australia culture to represent a significant enough change. Clearly he is next in the pecking order but if Cricket Australia are serious about the task in hand they need to apply revised criteria. I think Jason Gillespie is probably best qualified.
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1st over: South Africa 5-0 (Elgar 5, Markram 0) Josh Hazlewood has the new ball and his first nut is a half-volley on leg stump that Dean Elgar tickles for four. Delivery two is much better, seaming back into the left-handed Elgar and bouncing on a length over middle stump. There’s decent carry through to captain Paine as Aiden Markram sees off three deliveries with the minimum of fuss.
@JPHowcroft Re Ric Finlay's point (08.42), it's not that astonishing. Australia have deemed themselves too grand for many opponents: 6 Tests in 15 years vs Bangladesh; 29 in 35 years vs SL; 62 in 62 years vs Pak; 57 in 72 years vs NZ https://t.co/2n8pJ9ym4E
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) March 30, 2018
It’s low 20s, still and dry in Johannesburg. Perfect conditions for Test cricket.
The already brill South African national anthem is improved further by the sight of the retiring Morne Morkel carrying his son, who in turn is carrying a cricket ball. Lovely stuff.
It’s anthem time at the Wanderers. Lots of close-ups of Australia’s four inclusions and plenty of cutaways to Darren Lehmann in the stands.
Had the binoculars on the Australians for the anthem. They really gave it big. #SAvAUS pic.twitter.com/jQ7znyfGKC
— Adam Collins (@collinsadam) March 30, 2018
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Fewest Test at the time of captaincy debut for AUS post War:
— Deepu Narayanan (@deeputalks) March 30, 2018
06 Ian Craig in 1957
08 Graham Yallop in 1978
10 Kim Hughes in 1979
11 Adam Gilchrist in 2000
12 TIM PAINE in 2018#SAvAUS
Congrats to @tdpaine36 on becoming Australia’s 46th Test captain
— Fox Sports Lab (@FoxSportsLab) March 30, 2018
- 2nd Tasmanian behind Ricky Ponting
- 5th wicket-keeper behind Billy Murdoch (1882), Jack Blackham (1885-94), Barry Jarman (1968) & Adam Gilchrist (2000-04) #SAvAUS pic.twitter.com/pyESBnldxu
An explanation has been released for Mitchell Starc’s absence. He has tibial bone stress in his right leg, return to Australia for further assessment after the Test and will miss the IPL.
Marina Hyde skewers the very modern way in which this tragedy has unfolded, scene by tortured scene.
Chadd Sayers to become player #452 for Australia. The only other country with at least 452 players is England. Their #452 was Tony Greig on 8 June 1972. Astonishing that two countries that started Tests together in 1877 are now nearly 46 years apart in their numbering.
— Ric Finlay (@RicFinlay) March 30, 2018
In case you missed this from earlier, England finally cobbled together something resembling a first-innings on their tour of New Zealand. The Poms are perhaps the greatest beneficiaries of this series in South Africa. If 58-all out happens in the woods and no-one’s around to hear the collapse, does it really make a noise?
The pitch in Johannesburg has a fair covering of grass but it’s brown and clipped and well rolled, there’s a little cracking already too. The consensus is it’s a bat-first surface but one that could offer the new ball something during the first session. Dean Elgar is expecting a testing first hour with plenty of sideways movement on offer early at the Wanderers.
It is a far cry from the shocker served up for India back in January, rated as poor by the ICC.
Aussies to bowl first on this pitch #SAvAUS pic.twitter.com/meGomInZ7J
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) March 30, 2018
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South Africa XI
The Proteas go in unchanged as they look to secure a third victory in a row. Today’s match will be notable for being the last featuring Morne Morkel. The 33-year old paceman will retire with at least 306 Test wickets.
South Africa XI: Dean Elgar, Aiden Markram, Hashim Amla, AB de Villiers, Faf du Plessis (c), Temba Bavuma, Quinton de Kock (wk), Vernon Philander, Keshav Maharaj, Kagiso Rabada, Morne Morkel #SAvAUS
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) March 30, 2018
Australia XI
Australia make four changes to the side that lost convincingly in Cape Town. Three of the top four have to be replaced which means recalls for openers Matthew Renshaw and Joe Burns while Peter Handscomb will slot in further down the order. There’s also a change to the bowling attack with Mitchell Starc making way for Chadd Sayers to debut. The circumstances are impossibly rotten but the South Australian’s bow at the highest level is long overdue.
This is the first time since Johannesburg 2011 that Australia have turned up without either Smith or Warner in its line-up.
Australia XI: Matthew Renshaw, Joe Burns, Usman Khawaja, Peter Handscomb, Shaun Marsh, Mitchell Marsh, Tim Paine (c/wk), Pat Cummins, Nathan Lyon, Chadd Sayers, Josh Hazlewood #SAvAUS
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) March 30, 2018
The Chadd! Adam Voges presents 🇦🇺 Baggy Green No.452 to swing king Chadd Sayers 👏👏👏 #SAvAUS pic.twitter.com/AbLIiYznNX
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) March 30, 2018
South Africa won the toss and will bat first
Tim Paine would have liked to have had a bat also.
South Africa win the toss and elect to BAT #SAvAUS pic.twitter.com/h8JaxHV5hV
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) March 30, 2018
SA have won the toss and will bat first #SunfoilTest #ProteaFire pic.twitter.com/PQuEOcEYR6
— Cricket South Africa (@OfficialCSA) March 30, 2018
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This is why I do my job. Thanks Jon Millard.
“I was once trapped at an awful dinner party. Among the guests were this obnoxious couple who I had always thoroughly disliked. Over the course of a dramatically escalating evening, they were rocked by unexpected revelations of infidelity, proceeded to shouting, screaming, door slamming, tears, thrown objects, rants at the bottom of the garden and repeated departures and re-arrivals in taxis. All while the rest of us sat there and tried to eat moussaka.
The whole evening was cringeworthy, strangely compelling, enjoyable in a way that induced guilt and actually, also the most interesting thing that had happened to anyone else there in five years. And it left me understanding both of them far more than I had done, and actually developing some strange compassion towards them.
So, I feel for the South Africans. They have to shuffle awkwardly through this, the minor spats of earlier not forgotten, but somehow just a faintly ridiculous reminder of this very public theatre of humiliation.”
The ICC, in a bid to win the 2018 Too Little Too Late award, are looking to drag the wheezing carcass of The Spirit of Cricket onto a gurney and administer some emergency surgery.
Geoff Lemon puts his spin on perhaps the great enigma of this kerfuffle, The Bull (or is it The Rev?) David Warner.
Why does any of this matter? You might very well ask. Here are some reasons in pounds, shillings and pence.
Andy Bull asks why Steve Smith and Cameron Bancroft were forced to undergo such public humiliation.
In case you were wondering, David Warner’s turn is 11am tomorrow.
Steve Smith arrived back in Australia yesterday evening to begin the painful restoration of his career with a gut-wrenching press conference.
On the subject of coaches, Lehmann’s predecessor has provided some eye-opening examples of how the culture in Australian cricket has been toxic for years and impossible for him to change as an outsider.
Scott Lowe starts the email ball rolling with a point I’m sure is repeated around the world: outside Australia there is little sympathy for the protagonists in this mess.
“Looking forward to some cricket finally,” Scott begins. “I am active on Quora, a q&a site with a large Indian user base. It is amazing to see how many Indian cricket fans see this as karma for Australia’s behaviour in the Sydney Test during 2007-8. It seems that Indian fans are definitely enjoying Australia’s downfall more than fans from any other country.”
Is he right? How is this being received where you are (wherever you are)?
The news of the day in this seemingly endless avalanche of incident is the resignation of coach Darren Lehmann. His tenure seemed doomed from the moment this crisis began but it took until Friday morning for his scalp to be claimed.
The naming of his replacement promises to be one of the defining outcomes of this mess. If Cricket Australia are adamant they want to follow a different path, that will require an empowered change agent in the dressing room.
Before we tuck into some heated debate, let’s catch up with the latest from Adam Collins at the Wanderers.
The Wanderers track. Toss about 40 minutes away. More importantly for now, the cap presentation for Chadd Sayers coming up shortly. #SAvAUS pic.twitter.com/3F5ChM06fP
— Adam Collins (@collinsadam) March 30, 2018
Preamble
Hello everybody and welcome to live coverage of the fourth and final Test of this ghoulish series between South Africa and Australia (AKA the OBO rubbernecking edition).
There is a Test match taking place in Johannesburg starting at 10am local time (7pm AET), one that will decide this series, one that will farewell the estimable Morne Morkel, one that will herald Tim Paine as the 46th Australian Test captain, and one that will witness Chadd Sayers belatedly accepting Test cap 452. All of which remains secondary to the ongoing omnishambles that has dominated news cycles around the world.
The match will be covered as per usual but this is also an opportunity to engage with the debates of recent days, consider what happens next and attempt to make sense of a bewildering series of events.
Twitter is open for pithy observations. Email suits lengthier discussion. Let’s figure this all out together.
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