A social media content creator got flamed on TikTok after harshly judging her date. The reason? He packed a lunch instead of taking her out when they went canoeing.
In a video with 335,000 views, social media @chainlane05 expressed frustration at the fact that her date was “giving poor.” In the description of the video, she wrote, “First date kinda gave poor… hoping he’s holding out before doing anything pricey? Or is he actually just poverty status?”
The comments did not agree with @chainlane05’s expectations going into the date.
@Roni said, “You are shallow… He deserves better…”
Others, like @StubbyStyles, wrote, “You dodged a bullet my guy. Live long and prosper.”
The video raised the question, though. What’s a normal amount of money to spend on a first date?
First date and spending habits
Most people have wildly different expectations regarding what’s normal to spend on a date. Generally, first dates are an opportunity to get to know a person and establish a baseline. A date should quickly establish whether a person can engage in meaningful conversation with another.
An article from Vice explored the idea that “no more than 5%” of a person’s monthly income should go toward a date. It’s a first introduction that doesn’t necessarily need any high-stakes spending.
Societal expectations and gender roles may establish that a man pays for a meal on the first date. It’s a common expectation in dating circles, but that doesn’t mean that people should follow those norms. Cultural differences can also change how a person perceives the “dating payout,” or who should front bills.
As one Reddit user posited, “If you live where women are still discouraged from working or are generally paid much less than men, then it’s going to be ‘more normal’ for men to take on the bulk of the cost of dating… What really matters is the kind of relationship you want.”
Another user in the same thread commented, “Honestly, the best dates are inexpensive. They are nights hanging out and drinking wine in a blanket and looking up at the stars, it is dinner made together, it is picnics and hiking trips. Pizza delivery and movies.”
Ultimately, though, it’s better to have a conversation with a potential partner about expectations rather than hold onto the idea of a person paying “just because.” Some people generally expect more expensive first dates, as they define effort that way.
As internet sleuths agreed in the video’s description, “I guess his love language isn’t your love language.” @chainlane05 and her date may simply not be a match.
The Mary Sue has reached out to @chainlane05 for comment.
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