It’s that time of year when one must reach for the test tube and measure out the precise amount of tears shed watching the John Lewis Christmas advert, to gauge the emotional state of the nation.
This year, once again, I’m dry-eyed. Some stupid penguin wants to cop off with another stupid penguin. The penguin happens to be available at (what do you know?) John Lewis. The tagline: “Give someone the Christmas they’ve been dreaming of”. What: penguins coupling? If this is what you’ve been dreaming of, may I urge you to seek urgent psychiatric attention.
Last year’s John Lewis advert was unpardonably lame (a cartoon bear woken up by an alarm clock) but this one is pure parental buzzkill. Again, John Lewis needs to learn that their market isn’t children, it’s stressed parents – we’re the ones who need some “sugar”.
That’s why that advert a few years ago about a child excitedly giving his parents a present on Christmas morning was such a killer. There was the kid we wanted, the life we wanted, even the Liberty print duvet covers we wanted. Where do soppy stuffed penguins come into any of this, even if they are available in-store?
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