In case no one's said it yet, welcome to hell. Now, please remove your hat and enjoy AI Astro Bot's podcast about why the Ghost of Yotei should stick her dual katana in your mouth. Or, something like that – publisher Sony has just patented its idea for bespoke AI-generated podcasts.
These would be "LLM-BASED GENERATIVE PODCASTS FOR GAMERS," as indicated by the title for the concept in the World Intellectual Property Organization database (VGC spotted it). They'd provide what Sony vaguely calls "unique, personalized podcasts of news that a particular gamer would find interesting," and while the patent for the concept was published at the end of January, Sony's has apparently had this revelation for a while. Its patent application dates back to 2024.
The patent imagines a world where the PS5 start screen advertises something like "Your Personalized Podcast Is Available For Today," and people actually want to click on it. Sony says weakly, "The podcasts can present the news in a voice of a video game character of a video game already played by the respective gamer."
So Imagine Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn laying down her spear for a bit and giving you precious advice such as, as Sony writes as an example, "Also, Try A Spin Move On The Boss Next Time!" You might need to feed her "the data associated with the video game player's profile" – your profile – but please don't worry about privacy, security, or anything like that. Sony seems to suggest that, by buying its console hardware, you're OK with giving it up.
"In certain instances, the audio may include a joke at the video game player's expense," Sony says. Hopefully that makes you feel better.
