When Theresa May meets Donald Trump during the US president’s visit to Britain this week, a military band will serenade the “special relationship” in song. Yup, transatlantic trade vows may be exchanged to the toe-curlingly deferential likes of Frank Sinatra’s My Way, (gulp) Elvis Presley’s Can’t Help Falling in Love and (for heaven’s sake) Barry White’s You’re the First, My Last, My Everything. We thought the Countess of Wessex’s String Orchestra could do with some other options.
American Idiot by Green Day
There’s a campaign to get the American punkers’ anthem to No 1 to coincide with Trump visit, so our playlist surely has to recognise what the organisers hope will be “a good belly laugh at the expense of this Britain First-retweeting, misogynistic, elitist, healthcare-destroying, climate change-denying, bigly idiot”.
Bye Bye Baby by the Bay City Rollers
Trump’s visit will be accompanied by a huge blimp flying over London, depicting him as an angry baby. Perhaps, the Rollers’ 1974 stomper can blare out while the blimp wafts by the window.
Shame, Shame, Shame by Shirley & Company
This fantastic old soulful stomper sums up many Britons’ feelings about the Trump visit – and our government for inviting him.
Campaign Speech by Eminem
And for that awkward moment when dinner has turned sour, the sometime Slim Shady’s eight-minute anti-Trump freestyle (“A fuckin’ loose cannon who’s blunt with his hand on the button”) can blare out over sticky toffee pudding.
Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd
Given the unlikelihood of any British official being so undiplomatic as to mention Trump’s plans for a wall to deter Mexican migrants, this 1979 smash can discreetly point out that not a single brick has been laid.
You Need Hands by Max Bygraves
Bygraves’ 1958 single could provide a touching memento if Trump and May entwine fingers the way they did on the prime minister’s US visit. Of course, Trump hates any reference – however subtle – to his unusually tiny hands.
My President by Young Jeezy, feat Nas
If Trump’s visit doesn’t go too swimmingly, perhaps a gentle blast of Young Jeezy’s 2009 ode to his predecessor, Barack Obama, can remind him how to conduct a state visit: with cheering crowds, not vocal protests.
Survivor by Destiny’s Child
Should the vexed visit result in any sudden cooling of the special relationship, the prime minister may need a hurried exit song. Cue Beyoncé: “You thought that I’d be weak without you, but I’m strong …” “And stable,” hurriedly adds May.
Get Back by The Beatles
Then again, there’s always this classic: “Get back to where you once belonged,” Donald.
What other songs would strike the right note for the president’s visit? Give us your suggestions in the comments below
