The Hanoi summit may not have gone quite as smoothly as planned, but I'll leave that for the experts to dissect. One suspects the expression "sometimes you have to walk" will be widely featured in forthcoming panel discussions. Nonetheless, the summit did have its entertaining moments.
It was encouraging to see the North Korean bodyguards had not lost their touch. There were an estimated 100 of them in all, but just a dozen at a time in their business suits involved in the synchronised jogging alongside Chairman Kim's limousine. It was a sight to behold. After their Singapore experience, where they worked up a considerable sweat in the tropical heat, the bodyguards must have been thankful for Hanoi's slightly cooler temperatures. They are a stoic bunch and by all accounts are top marksmen and skilled in martial arts. These are tough gentlemen and you definitely wouldn't want to mess with them.
It seems that all officials close to the Chairman have to be in good physical shape. Shortly after the Korean delegation arrived at a Vietnam railway station there was the splendid sight of a male Korean interpreter sprinting from the train to catch up with Mr Kim who was already being greeted by Vietnamese officials. You get the impression that it's not a good idea to keep the Chairman waiting.
There was also a moment on that first morning that Mr Trump looked slightly tentative. Journalists speculated that he had just seen the lunch menu and was not entirely enthused at the prospect of tackling "Asian fusion food", when he probably had in mind a large cheeseburger and fries. At least he didn't have to worry about the food on the second day as the talks had abruptly ended and the planned lunch was cancelled.
Diplomacy is…
International diplomacy is a most complicated art and over the years there have been varying views on what it actually involves. However, there is general agreement that it may require an element of subterfuge to achieve the right results.
American journalist Isaac Goldberg probably got it right when he observed in almost lyrical fashion: "Diplomacy is to do or say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way."
British statesman Winston Churchill had a similar view, commenting: "Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions."
A somewhat less sophisticated view came from US statesman Theodore Roosevelt who asserted: "If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."
I quite liked the following quote from American author Jim Butcher's book Turn Coat: "Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer."
A question of etiquette
History is strewn with people who should know better being undiplomatic and there are countless examples of diplomatic gaffes, some too embarrassing to mention here.
Apart from a polite handshake, touching the Queen of England is a no-no, but in the excitement of the moment this protocol is sometimes forgotten. During Queen Elizabeth's tour of Australia in 1992, Prime Minister Paul Keating caused a stir when he gently put his hand on her back while introducing her to dignitaries. British tabloids jumped on this breach of protocol and he was quickly dubbed the "Lizard of Oz".
At a Buckingham Palace reception in 2009, US First Lady Michelle Obama put an affectionate arm around the Queen who seemed to take it in good spirit, and even reciprocated, although the British media was not impressed. In her recent autobiography, Becoming, Obama explains she didn't realise she was breaking royal protocol. She said she had been having such a friendly chat with the Queen and "I did what is instinctive to me any time I feel connected to a new person, which is to express my feelings outwardly."
Doing a Bush
The Bush family were involved in a couple of incidents that caught the attention of the tabloids. At the G8 summit in St Petersburg, Russia in 2006, US President George Bush took some flak when passing behind a seated Angela Merkel, he gave the German Chancellor a brief shoulder massage. Judging from her startled reaction, she was not expecting such a physical gesture of friendship.
Then there was the unfortunate George Bush Sr who in 1992 was taken ill and threw up over Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa at a state function. In Japan it prompted a new word for vomiting, bushu-suru or "to do a Bush".
British politician Boris Johnson's gaffes could fill up several columns. In a 2007 newspaper article in which he was actually supporting Hillary Clinton, he spoilt it somewhat by commenting that Hillary had "a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital".
National treasure
I sneaked along to the local mall the other afternoon to watch The Favourite after Olivia Colman won best actress at the Oscars for her role as the eccentric Queen Mary.
It was a thoroughly enjoyable film and both Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone also deserved awards for their performances. Although she is probably not well-known amongst international audiences, Colman is becoming something of a national treasure in England. She is a versatile performer and has the uncanny ability to appear perfectly normal, a rare quality amongst movie stars.
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