LEANNE Sicrea has endured the pain and the longing and the loss of 12 miscarriages.
She has been poked and prodded, and she has ridden the emotional roller coaster of multiple IVF attempts to have a baby.
But the mother to six-year-old Indiana and one-year-old Kingston said she would do it all again.
"It was not a nice experience," she said. "But to get these babies I would do it over and over again."
Related: 'We need to smash the stigma of miscarriage'
It was not long after they were married that Leanne and AJ Sicrea moved from Sydney to Newcastle in anticipation of the arrival of their first child.
"I miscarried," Ms Sicrea said. "It was a shock. I didn't know anyone else who had been through it. You try for so long to not to get pregnant... And falling pregnant came easily that first time. It wasn't even on my radar that it might not work out."
From then, Ms Sicrea said she had become obsessive about falling pregnant.
"That probably made it worse," she said. "It was a really bad period for me - the next five/six years were really tough. I experienced miscarriage after miscarriage, failed IVF attempt after failed IVF attempt. It wore me down."
She kept herself busy.
"If I sat still and thought about it, I would be so depressed. I kept questioning why it wasn't happening for me, and why it was happening for everyone else," she said. "People cope in different ways. Mine was distraction. Trips away with friends.
"Then there were times I would just want to isolate myself and hibernate. Not go anywhere. Not see anyone. Curl up on the lounge and cry.
"It was disappointing when it didn't work that first time, and the second, and the third and the fourth and so on. AJ is the one that keeps me grounded. When I couldn't cope, he would bring me back."
Then, Indiana arrived. Happy and healthy and perfect. Then Kingston - their naturally-conceived "miracle" baby - joined the family.
"We are so lucky to have these two little people in our lives," she said. "I don't take anything for granted with these children."
Ms Sicrea appears in the Misunderstandings of Miscarriage film, now on Stan. She hopes it will help "decimate" the stigma attached.
