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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Simon Burnton

Something to tell their children about. And their children's children

Isaac Hayden
Isaac Hayden: almost something to tell your children’s children about. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Action Images via Reuters

UNITED IN PAIN

There was a point in the game between Blackeye Rovers and Newcastle United when Isaac Hayden, who had come on for the injured Jamaal Lascelles, who had come on for the injured Ciaran Clark, went down injured. For a while the crowd held their breath. They were, it seemed, about to witness the substitution of a substitute’s substitute. This was something they could tell their children about, and their children’s children.

Frustratingly, Hayden eventually rose to his feet and limped on for the rest of the game. He was one of his team’s most impressive players in an extra-time-, deflection- and linesman-blindness-assisted 4-2 victory at Ewood Park, even if what really made him stand out was the fact that when it ended he was still able to walk. “We have to assess them over the next couple of days,” said Rafa Benítez afterwards of his wounded. “Lascelles, I don’t think it is very serious. He was limping, because he felt something. Clark went off at half-time with a knock to the knee but I don’t think it will be serious.”

If Lascelles felt something, it was probably the cruel hand of fate conspiring against his team. Either that or his hamstring. Possibly both. This was after all a Newcastle side without several injured players, with others left out for their own safety and with an eye on Saturday’s do-or-die league fixture against Cardiff, and still they ended the match with two freshly-hobbled colleagues and with Hayden and Fabian Schar among those limping towards a lengthy queue for the physio’s attention. At St James’ Park there is more competition for places on the treatment table than there is for spots in the team.

These days Newcastle players can barely lace up their boots without being doubled over in agony. This is literally true in the case of Kenedy, the Brazilian winger who was unable to face Blackeye because of agonising toenail-knack. “The reality is he cannot put the boots on,” Benítez explained. “As soon as he puts the boots on, he is feeling pain.”

For now, Kenedy is the only person at Newcastle struggling with what Benítez termed “a problem with a nail” – though the ones, as a result of both the injuries and the team’s general inability to pick up points, regularly being hammered into their Premier League coffin are also troubling. Victory over Cardiff is imperative, though the way things are going the only survival fight their players will be interested in is the increasingly difficult battle to make it off the pitch alive.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Simon Burnton from 5.30pm GMT for hot MBM coverage of Juventus 2-0 Milan in the Supercoppa Italiana and then follow Southampton 3-2 Derby in the FA Cup third-round replay at 7.45pm with Paul Doyle.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“At certain times, you have to provoke friction with footballers. From that friction, you can get something more out of them, something from inside, a greater sense of ambition or maybe even a complaint” – Unai Emery on the motivational tactics that have worked a treat with Mesut Özil.

Mesut Özil
Let’s hear it for friction. Photograph: Graham Hunt/ProSports/Rex Shutterstock

SUPPORT THE GUARDIAN

Producing the Guardian’s thoughtful, in-depth journalism [the stuff not normally found in this email, obviously – Fiver Ed] is expensive, but supporting us isn’t. If you value our journalism, please support us. In return we can hopefully arm you with the kind of knowledge that makes you sound slightly less uninformed during those hot reactive gegenpress chats you so enjoy. And if you think what we do is enjoyable [again, etc and so on – Fiver Ed], please help us keep coming back here to give you more of the same.

FIVER LETTERS

“Re: Tuesday’s Fiver: Thanks, that was really good” – Don Clay (and no others).

“The Fiver doesn’t make me laugh often, but the comment about Neil Warnock did. I thought it was about me, and I quote: ‘They do, however, reflect the political position of a man who began his life as a footballer over 50 years ago on the right wing, and remains there to this day’. If only I had learnt to kick with my left foot, I would have a more balanced view of Brexit” – Ritchie Jamieson (former right-winger for Port Sunlight FC in the 1960s).

Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is Ritchie Jamieson.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Manchester City have refused to give Uefa any comment on allegations that they breached FFP because the club believe the claims were based on “hacked or stolen” emails.

Shrewsbury’s Twitter feed got a bit giddy after the League One strugglers scored three goals in 10 minutes to come from 2-0 down to knock the Potters out of the FA Cup. “WOW!!! We really did do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke!!!” it cheered.

Steven Pressley has jumped at the chance to manage League Two high-flyers Carlisle after John Sheridan saw himself out of the door marked Do One to join non-league Chesterfield. “He feels he can continue the fantastic work that has already been done this season,” trilled chief suit Andrew Jenkins.

Ryan Babel announced his return to the Premier League by lying about his age. “22-year-old joins Fulham!” honked the 78-year-old on social media disgrace Twitter. Welcome back Ryan, we’ve missed you.

Ryan Babel
Ryan Babel, 78. Photograph: Javier García/BPI/Rex/Shutterstock

And Neil Warnock says he would not give two hoots if an opposition club spied on a Cardiff training session. “I was asked this week ‘what would you do if someone came to watch us’ – and I’d just encourage them because it’d confuse them!” he parped.

STILL WANT MORE?

“Is hiding in a hedge really that bad?” Paul Wilson reckons Nasty Leeds’ spying should be treated as a form of entertainment, not cheating.

David Squires
Good excuse to use another David Squires panel. Illustration: David Squires for the Guardian

Which teams have meddled with their playing surface to put the brakes on an opposition team? The Knowledge reveals all.

Their governments may be locked in a diplomatic stand-off but Saudi Arabia and Qatar are playing down off-field issues before the Asian Cup match, writes John Duerden.

Chelsea should think twice before splashing the cash on Leandro Paredes and Gonzalo Higuaín, reckons Martin Laurence.

Jarrod Bowen has gone from playing without pay to scoring for fun at Hull, writes Ben Fisher.

Revel in being middle-aged by listening to the latest episodes of the Nessun Dorma podcast.

Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!

AND BOY DO I MEAN IT (THE JAUNTY REDUX)

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