From personal compassion, it has grown into a social service. For 15 years, foster mother Kusuma Ali has found herself loving and caring for 10 infants and toddlers from dysfunctional homes in Bangkok.
When it is time for the children to leave for a better life, she admits to crying tears of joy. Each of the 10 children she has fostered thus far have a special place in her heart.
"Of course, it is never easy to see them leave because you get emotionally attached them," she said when asked about the fostering experience. "It is a mixed bag of emotions -- you feel a sense of elation knowing you have played a pivotal role in building the child's character.
"I became a foster mother to do my part in helping society and keep active around the house. It is after I raised three children and then grandkids that I decided it was time for me to foster. Having a child in the house keeps me on my toes."
To make it a success, one has to have a heart for fostering, said Kusuma, because, for one, the duration of time the child is in foster care can be indefinite. She realises the ultimate goal is uniting them with their biological or adopted parents.
If there is one thing she gathered from raising her four biological children, it was that the first three years of life are a period of incredible growth in all areas of development.
So in the scenario where birth parents are not ready to take on this huge responsibility due to whatever limitations, the need for a caregiver to fill this void is tantamount for the child's emotional, physical and mental development.
To understand Kusuma's desire to foster, one has to go back to where it all began.
She first visited Rajavithi orphanage in the hope that they would find a foster child for her. As they did not have any fostering service, she was directed to Holt Sahathai Foundation (HSF).
After hearing the objectives of the HSF programmes, she understood that fostering, simply put, was to avoid the institutionalisation of children, a temporary home provided for children whose parents are unable to take care of them until their family situation is improved or a permanent solution is found.
While Kusuma is entitled to know the background of her foster kids, she prefers to forfeit that right, saying her intentions are to "love the little human and be loved in return, so whatever family he or she came from did not mater".
She admits to feeling a deep sorrow each time a foster child leaves her home.
"No matter how hard you prepare yourself to let go, it is not easy the day it arrives," she said with tears.
"I have photo albums to remind me of the time I had with them. Goodbyes are never easy. The only thing that uplifts my emotional state of mind is that they are going to a better place.
"It is not until I start fostering again that I can actually let go of the emotional attachment I formed with my previous foster child. Even though each of my foster children eventually leaves me, they will always be a part of my life."
Kusuma becomes emotional when sharing about two of the most challenging foster children she's raised in the last decade, saying: "Nong Nheng*, who was 11 months when I first held her in my arms, was the sweetest bundle of joy I ever laid my eyes on.
"However, behind her happy disposition lay a very sickly child with multiple physical abnormalities. She had so many medical conditions that I had to be on my toes the entire day. This was the first time I'd fostered a child with physical disabilities.
"She was once hospitalised for two months, and I was by her side each day. What was supposed to be two months in foster care turned out to be five years. She was eventually adopted by an American couple."
Born premature and with skull deformities, Ton Khao* was just a month old when Kusuma cradled him for the first time. He was a special-needs child who taught her the meaning of endurance.
"People remarked on how such fostering cases tested my level of endurance. I, on the other hand, saw it quite differently. This tiny life that I'd fostered for two years before he was adopted by a Norwegian family taught me the meaning of endurance through his will to survive."
As a seasoned foster mum, Kusuma shared her two cents on how to know whether fostering is for you. Top of the list is: have a heart for children. Patience and endurance are equally important, as foster children come in all ages and temperaments. Being hands-on and emotionally prepared, come what may, makes the experience all the more memorable.
Asked what fostering meant to her, Kusuma answered: "A full-time job that has been highly rewarding on all accounts. I get to offer a child the developmental skills that will take him or her far in life."
For information on how to donate to the Holt Sahathai Foundation, call 662-381-8837. * Names have been changed for the privacy of the children.
Need for foster care at all-time high
Unplanned pregnancies, child abuse, rape and parental neglect are just the primary reasons foster care has become an urgent need in Thailand today, say social workers.
Jintana Nontapouraya, a veteran social worker and executive director at the Holt Sahathai Foundation (HSF), shared her concerns, saying: "Despite foster care not being popular among Thais, the demand is at an all-time high. Each month, we have 85 cases that require foster homes. Most of the children we work with fall into the age group of newborn-to-three-and-a-half years old.
"In fostering, the environment has to be conducive to the child building their social and emotional skills starting from birth.
"In my 41 years as a social worker, my focus has been primarily on family-strengthening. The ultimate goal of fostering is to reunify children with their birth families. So the time the child is in foster care, a temporary home for a child with a caring family, the biological parents have to get their act together, which means go for rehab if they are addicted to drugs or alcohol, or work towards setting a better environment for their child.
"Today, this is increasingly difficult. Thai families don't enjoy the closeness they once did, so there is little communication. Mental-health issues, drug abuse and open views on sex and relationships are other factors that add fuel to fire when a baby is born in such circumstances.
"Sixty percent of foster care is brought on due to unprepared pregnancies. What especially becomes disturbing when it comes to teen mums is that they often hide their pregnancies. This could result in all types of medical complications to both mother and child."
Interestingly, Jintana said, foster families that have taken the initiative so far are mostly lower-middle class folks. In addition to covering the child's basic needs, HSF supports Thai foster families with a monthly stipend of between 3,000-3,500 baht, depending on the age of the child.
"They might not have tonnes of money, but they have a big heart and lots of love to share." Foster parents need to understand that this is a temporary arrangement, she said. They have to be emotionally strong and have to be clear about their role in the life of the child. As most of their fosters are infants and toddlers, she said, they need to provide a child-friendly home. Another requirement is that the home does not have other children under the age of four years old.
"Infant-to-toddler age requires full-time supervision. That is why it is pivotal the foster child be the only one of his age in the house. As for the age of the foster parents ... well, let me say they should be physically strong to carry the demands of having a toddler in the house."
