Someone Asks “What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?” And 24 People Share Their Honest Thoughts

Article created by: Indrė Lukošiūtė

There are a few topics out there that pretty much everyone seems to have strong opinions on. Politics. Religion. And... parenting! Your ideas on how you think it’s best to raise your kids say quite a lot about who you are as a person and what your values are. There are different approaches to parenting, and it can be extremely difficult to figure out what’s best for a specific family. However, when it comes to red flags and things to avoid doing, it’s pretty much clear to most people when a parent has royally messed up. Though, often, it's far easier to realize when someone else has made a mistake than when you've done the same. And it's easy to underestimate the importance of active listening, patience, support, and consistency.

Redditor u/ViForYourAttention went viral after asking the r/AskReddit online community about the behaviors that practically scream that someone is a bad parent. These internet users held nothing back and shared their honest, unfiltered opinions with everyone else. They revealed what they think are the biggest parenting red flags and unacceptable behavior that should be stopped immediately. Scroll down to read their thoughts below.

Bored Panda reached out to redditor u/ViForYourAttention, the person who created the viral thread. They were kind enough to share their thoughts on good and bad parenting, the role that narcissism plays, and how people can become more aware that they might be making mistakes raising their kids.

"I think we all have experiences with some form of bad parenting, whether we’ve personally experienced it in varying severity, or we’ve seen it from a distance in public. The post quickly became a place where people would make a prompt for what they thought would constitute a bad parent, and others would jump at the opportunity to respond with their own personal stories," the OP shared with us. Read on for the full interview.

• Read More: Someone Asks “What Screams ‘I’m A Bad Parent’?” And 30 People Share Their Honest Thoughts

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Never saying sorry to the kid when the parents make a mistake. idk if this really screams it, but i absolutely hate when adults tell other adults their children’s shameful secrets for no reason. even strangers! it tells me those children probably don’t feel like they can trust their parents. your own children being afraid of you, no child should be afraid of the person that looks after them nearly 24/7. Saying "You're too young to be depressed" and ignoring red flags from mental illnesses. Using children as pawns in divorces or separations. Invalidating your child's feelings, struggles, and/or mental illness in favor of "you don't know what struggling *really* is" or some form of "back in my day" or "you kids are so weak". You have just robbed your child of support, told them their feelings do not matter, and informed them that you are not a safe person to confide in. Demeaning your children as means of punishment Not believing in telling your children “no” The world will and *should* tell them “no” at times. They need to be prepared for that reality, or they will be an absolute menace to everyone around them. Treating your kid as your therapist. Blaming your own mistakes and regrets on your kids "You're the reason I'm stuck with your father !" Sure mom, sure... Treating your son as the man of the house because you’re single Zero interest in the kid. Doesn’t care what they do or what happens to them as long as they don’t inconvenience them. Parents who can’t apologize to a child. It’s ok to have human emotions and moment to be triggered or struggling and lash out or be wrong but for the love of all things good APOLOGIZE AND CHANGE. Making your child think they arent good enough Not giving the kids rights/privacy Your adult children don’t talk to you I volunteer at/ have had student placements at a children’s hospital and we’ve had patients with serious brain injuries due to abuse (shaking, attempted drowning, etc.). So yeah I’d say those parents are pretty bad Attacking the self esteem in any way… The infantilization of their children. Wanting them to stay helpless babies forever because they don’t want them to grow up. I’m a nanny and it seems like a growing trend. It’s one thing to engage is some infantile behavior or spoil your children a little. It’s another thing to bend to every whim and not make your kids uncomfortable. Example with some kids I’m currently dealing with, NOT POTTY TRAINING THEM. Remember: The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. If you see kids being neglected, or ignored, or not cared about _at all_, that's a good indication that their parent/s aren't good Recording your child while they're having a meltdown/tantrum and posting it on social media (for likes, clout, assurance or whatnots, no idea what they're thinking) Instead of helping them to regulate their emotions and understand what causes the emotion, how to deal with it, and that there are appropriate ways to communicate your feelings Food Shaming, that’s a slide into an ED and lifelong Trauma. You can usually immediately tell if a child comes from a household like that or not Not correcting your kids