Children’s birthday party hosts are facing backlash online after explicitly asking invited guests to leave cash tips and cover event expenses.
The topic drew attention after Victoria Perry, a baker who specializes in children’s birthday cakes, posted a viral TikTok video detailing invitations she had seen that included phrases like “tipping is encouraged.”
As reported by Parents, Perry cited one invitation that specifically asked guests to send cash to help cover basic costs: “If you plan to bring your child and they plan to eat and play, please send along cash with your child for the tip bucket to go towards party expenses.”
In her video, Perry criticized the practice, arguing that tip requests send an unwelcoming message to invited guests: “If you’re not bringing at least $10, you should not bring your child.”
The practice comes at a time when the financial burden of hosting children's celebrations has escalated significantly. Recent estimates reported by CBC News show the average parent spends at least $445 per event, with one in five spending over $700 and a third of parents going into debt to afford the occasion. Event planners have even reported wealthy hosts spending upwards of $42,000 on extravagant bashes, according to Business Insider.
The rising costs — driven by high venue fees, entertainment like bouncy castles or mobile zoos, and lavish social media trends — have led some hosts to seek outside financial help, though the practice has faced pushback from other parents.
“If you are inviting my children to your child’s birthday and you asked me to pay for them to come, nine out of 10 times they're probably not going to be attending," one U.K. parent and financial adviser posted online. Another parenting podcaster said in a March video that one mother had gone so far as to send invoices to invited guests.
Many parents online argue that host families should not throw events beyond their financial means.
As reported by Parents, one commenter wrote, “My RSVP would be a NO. If you need to be tipped for hosting your child’s party, maybe don’t have a party.” Another said that cash demands undermine standard etiquette: “If I’m bringing a tip, then we’re not bringing a present.”
Speaking to CBC News, Ottawa mother Gaelan Jaffray echoed that sentiment.
“I don’t think the rising cost of hosting justifies asking invited guests to subsidize the party," Jaffray said. “To me, bringing a gift is already the guest’s contribution.”
However, others have defended host parents struggling against inflation and intense social pressure.
“Although not polite to ask for money, I would give a tip plus a present,” one commenter wrote. “Affording to throw my kid a birthday party is a privilege not every parent has.”
Experts point out that much of this financial strain stems from what researchers term the “intensification of parenting” and online comparison culture, which was highlighted in a 2024 U.S. Surgeon General advisory regarding parental mental health.
“When it’s financially difficult for families to do this to the extent they have to ask other families to pitch in, we are really getting out of hand," parenting consultant Vanessa Lapointe told CBC News.
Children ultimately focus on how they feel during a party rather than its cost or scale, Lapointe said.
