It is, for Malcolm Turnbull, one of the most challenging days of the year.
For one day in September, or October, as it’s fallen since Turnbull ascended to prime ministership 13 months ago, he has to feign not just an interest in but also a passing knowledge of the AFL.
He didn’t quite make it.
Speaking at the annual North Melbourne Football Club AFL grand final breakfast in Melbourne on Sunday, Turnbull reiterated his reasons for supporting five-time premiership winners the Sydney Swans over sentimental favourites the Western Bulldogs, who haven’t won the flag since 1954.
“But if ever there was a day for anyone’s loyalty to be tested, it is this day,” he said.
“Who among us would not declare themselves fans of the wonderful Western Bulldogs side?”
Nevertheless, Turnbull said, the Swans trained in his electorate. They are his “neighbourhood team”, and, he ventured, the “football public deserves to see them here – to see Buddy and the AFL’s most formidable midfield display their awesome skills on the biggest stage of all”.
Luckily, no one asked him to repeat his dubious effort of singing the club song.
Speaking to an audience that included the foreign minister, Julie Bishop, a devoted West Coast supporter; Victoria’s Labor premier, Daniel Andrews; and the federal Labor leader, Bill Shorten, Turnbull could not pass up the opportunity to take a swipe at the former Labor prime minister Julia Gillard, whose love of the Bulldogs is well known.
“Today, my loyalty to the Swans trumps my admiration for the Dogs,” he said.
“Sadly, therefore there can be no unity ticket with Julia Gillard.
“And I suppose there’s not much chance of a unity ticket with Bill. Just ask Julia.”
Andrews, normally an Essendon supporter, is backing the Bulldogs.
@billshortenmp is here with Matilda! #CSBGFBreaky pic.twitter.com/fC2DapzW6b
— Nova 100 (@nova100) September 28, 2016
Shorten, who grew up supporting Sydney when it was still South Melbourne and then switched to Collingwood in 1982, and who owns two bulldogs, could hardly do any different. In this he is indeed on a unity ticket with Gillard.
Duty done, Turnbull wished both teams luck.
Now all that remains is avoiding a repeat of last year’s effort, when he ignored his seats in the grandstand in favour of a discussion about the creative economy over lunch with the most bankable Chris Hemsworth.
#paintthetown🔴⚪️🔵 #bemorebulldog #AFLGF pic.twitter.com/DpPxL3iz2A
— Janet Rice🔴⚪️🔵🐶 (@janet_rice) October 1, 2016
Spotted in West Footscray 😆 @westernbulldogs #bemorebulldog #GoDoggies pic.twitter.com/dGFLJcu53R
— Tamara Oudyn (@TamaraOudyn) October 1, 2016
Outside of the awkward circle of politicians pretending to like sports, Melbourne has been painted red, white, and blue in anticipation of a potentially history-making win for a club, which is like a second team to any football fans in Victoria who don’t have it as their first.
Rather than the usual tactic of barracking for whichever premiership contender they hate least, people – even some Sydney fans – are actively cheering the Bulldogs to win.
Merch stand. Not a single piece of Bulldogs gear left!!! #bemorebulldog pic.twitter.com/LgNjLjmzYq
— Danny McGinlay (@dannymcginlay) October 1, 2016
The Bulldogs’ devoted and resilient fan base lined up in their thousands in the overnight drizzle for a chance at one of the remaining membership seats at the Melbourne Cricket Ground and hundreds more streamed into the training ground at Whitten Oval, where the game will be streamed live.
This crowd couldn't #bemorebulldog if it tried!! Can't wait for the gates to open at Whitten Oval for #AFLGF pic.twitter.com/jsI84lbgEF
— Alek Hillas (@AlekHillas) October 1, 2016
#AFLGF is always better with those you love. Carn the Scray! #BeMoreBulldog pic.twitter.com/2utWzCgJP6
— Daniel Andrews (@DanielAndrewsMP) October 1, 2016
Most Bulldogs fans have never seen their side win a grand final and are hoping the 62-year drought will be broken.
this is amazingly amazing and i am amazed. we really are having a lovely time #bemorebulldog #godogs
— Mr Onthemoon (@firstdogonmoon) October 1, 2016
It's rare that you say you've been waiting your whole life for something without it being hyperbole #bemorebulldog
— Wil Anderson (@Wil_Anderson) October 1, 2016
Gary has been to 972 STRAIGHT @westernbulldogs games. 972!!!
— 3AW Football (@3AWisfootball) October 1, 2016
Has. Not. Missed. One.
He's got a ticket today! #AFLGF pic.twitter.com/G7zxWKBIEl
The grand final starts at 2.30pm.
