Reality formats at dawn as Lord Siralan Sugar doesn’t buy into Simon Cowell’s tears during an audition on The X Factor.
On last week’s show, Simon – whose mother died just before filming began – was seen welling up as a contestant dedicated his song to a dead friend. Cowell eventually had to leave the arena to compose himself.
Laugh? His lordship nearly fell off his booster seat. “Simon on X Factor might have been crying because his trousers were too tight,” he tweeted earlier this week. “Is this pathetic or what. The public are not that daft.” Is this the same public that is annually required to swallow the line: “Britain’s brightest business talents”? It’s unclear.
“X factor taking p… out of the public,” Lord S continued. “My 2 grandkids rolling with laughter over a couple of the pathetic stooges.” The Sugar-lumps refusing to have their consent manufactured, Grandad bossing Twitter – what an adorable vignette of life in a modern media family this is.
Even so, it’s a shame to see two such epochal reality talents mired in disrespect, especially when Simon and Alan’s differences are barely differences at all. His lordship ought to consider the fact that some of us have booster seats, some of us have Cuban heels with hidden lifts. Some of us cry during karaoke songs, some of us choke with emotion in the high court when it is suggested we won’t give George Graham enough money for so much as a past-it centre forward. Yes, sometimes one of us gets more attention than the other. But doesn’t our lachrymose littleness unite us more than it divides us?
