2023 may as well be the Jurassic era for how long ago it feels now, but cast your minds back to a time when it appeared that Donald Trump‘s many legal problems might sink his candidacy. Prosecutors were coming at him from all angles, and he was eventually found guilty on 34 counts.
The world held its breath in anticipation of a stiff sentence and then… nothing. But now some legal consequences have finally arrived. Sort of. In May 2023 and Jan. 2024, New York City juries found Trump liable in civil court for sexually abusing E. Jean Carroll in 1996, then found him guilty of defaming her.
Trump was ordered to pay out $5 million for the sexual abuse and $83.3 million for the defamation. He immediately appealed the verdicts and now, finally, the United States Court of Appeals has delivered him a crushing defeat in his appeal against 2023 sexual assault verdict.
The appeal court judges ruled that Trump and his legal team had not come close to showing that the trial judge “erred in any of the challenged rulings” and could not prove there were any procedural errors: “Further, he has not carried his burden to show that any claimed error or combination of claimed errors affected his substantial rights as required to warrant a new trial.”
Trump’s lawyers are still trying their hardest to get the defamation verdict overturned, but at this point, as Blade might say, these guys are trying to iceskate uphill. Carroll immediately celebrated, saying, “So long, Old Man!”:
Thursday, July 10th, 2025
— E. Jean Carroll (@ejeancarroll) July 10, 2025
So long, Old Man! The United States Court of Appeals, 2nd Circuit, bids thee farewell. pic.twitter.com/yjqrRsPtPT
Where’s the money, Donald?
But maybe don’t celebrate with a particularly expensive bottle of champagne. Just because judges have ordered that Trump is to pay Carroll $5 million in damages doesn’t mean she’s going to get a penny out of him. After all, there’s no realistic way to enforce this order. If he simply ignores it, what is the court going to do? Knock on the door of the Trump Tower and start repossessing the furniture? Garnish his presidential wages?
Even if he were found in contempt of court, why wouldn’t he just ignore that, too? Are the U.S. Marshals going to burst through the door of the Oval Office and drag him away in cuffs? Trump might pay out simply to have this whole mess disappear, though, frankly, nothing in his temperament or history suggests that’s going to be the case.
