WASHINGTON — A week after Ted Cruz accused Big Bird of peddling “government propaganda” by promoting COVID-19 vaccines, "Saturday Night Live" devoted its opening segment to a disturbing alternative hosted by the Texas senator himself.
Unlike Sesame Street, on “Cruz Street” kids are encouraged to play with machine guns, and Q — not the letter, but the shadowy leader of a conspiracy cult — is a sponsor.
“As you know I was mocked for attacking Big Bird on Twitter, simply because I’m a human senator and he is an 8-foot-tall fictional bird. But let’s see what happened to Big Bird after he got the vaccine,” says Cruz, played by Aidy Bryant.
Out comes the senator’s nemesis Muppet, feathers molting and complaining of side effects: “My feathers fell out. My nuts got huge and my doink don’t work. It’s real bad man.”
“Don’t worry. I read online you can take a bath in Borax and that will cleanse you of any nanotechnology,” Cruz responds, with advice reminiscent of then-President Donald Trump’s alarming suggestion about injecting bleach to kill the coronavirus.
Big Bird is 8 feet, 2 inches. The "SNL" version on “Newsmax Kids” — a dig at the conservative pro-Trump network — was roughly 5-foot-7 as Kyle Mooney, the not-ready-for-prime-time player in the costume.
“Maybe the vaccine gave me COVID,” Mooney says.
“Yes, yes, that sounds correct,” "SNL" Cruz responds.
The real Cruz has not responded publicly to the sketch.
He has been adamantly opposed to government mask or vaccine mandates. But Big Bird and other "Sesame Street" characters haven’t promoted mandates. They have been trying to ease kids’ anxiety about getting a shot and encouraging voluntary compliance with recommendations from the nation’s top public health authorities.
The Muppets joined a CNN town hall last Saturday aimed at promoting vaccination, and Big Bird tweeted that he’d gotten the shot. Hours later Cruz accused him of spreading government propaganda.
Muppets fans and Cruz detractors — groups that do overlap somewhat — pointed out that "Sesame Street" and PBS get hardly any government funding.
The exchange inspired days of online carping and then, last night’s sketch on NBC’s "SNL."
“You know, for 50 years I stood by as 'Sesame Street' taught our children dangerous ideas like numbers and kindness. But when Big Bird told children to get vaccinated against a deadly disease, I said enough,” says faux Cruz. “It’s a gated community where kids are safe from the woke government.”
Cruz Street’s first guest was Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Georgia Republican and conspiracy theory adherent. She stops by with an AR-15, which she offers to one of the kids nearby by. When he declines, she calls him a “pussy.”
Joe Rogan, the conservative anti-vaxxer, offers Big Bird zinc and horse medicine.
“Why would a bird take horse medicine?” Big Bird asks.
“I’m a human, and I took horse medicine,” Rogan says.
There’s a quick cameo from the “Recount Count,” who Cruz says will prove “how Trump definitely won the election.”
Bert and Ernie make an appearance, saying they’re “out and proud” — alluding to a decadeslong meme that they’re more than just friends. When "SNL" Cruz tries to gloss over the reference, they say they’re engaged and show off their engagement rings.
“Engaged in the battle against the tyranny of wokeness,” Cruz translates.
Oscar the Slouch makes an appearance, too.
“Did somebody say free money? … I’m a ward of the state. I use your tax money on drugs and pornography,” he says.
“At least he admitted it. All Democrats are him,” "SNL" Cruz tells the viewers.
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