In attempting to pick a way through the speculation surrounding the future of Cristiano Ronaldo one could do a lot worse than rely on an adaptation of that old saw about ducks and their inability to disguise themselves; if it acts like a child and it pouts like a child, then Sir Alex Ferguson will eventually lose patience and sell.
What else are we to conclude after the winger's reaction to being substituted during Sunday's Manchester derby? History tells us Ferguson has little tolerance for those who disrespect him in private and even less for those who show their contempt in a public setting. Clearly, United's No7 feels his talent gives him an exemption from the rules applied by United's Numero Uno. Silly Boy. Sir Alex, as ever, declines to comment.
El Pais, on the other hand, has spoken. The destination will be Real Madrid, the price £70m – a £58m mark-up on the fee paid to Sporting Lisbon six years ago for an 18-year-old who could dribble the ball but not necessarily in the right direction. At those rates of return the investment guru Warren Buffett, the Sage of Omaha, could do a lot worse than give the Sage of Govan a call and ask for some advice.
But football is not all about money, not even in Manchester, and Ronaldo will be missed – by purveyors of hair gel and tabloid sleaze, car repair shop owners, tanning booth operators and night club predators in skirts the size of belts; by everyone, one suspects, except United. This is a bold statement, especially after the Portuguese's most recent contributions to the cause, most notably at the Emirates last week, where he demoralised Arsenal. Yet in the rush to immortalise that performance it was casually forgotten that eight days earlier the player had been at his petulant worst, catching the eye only when giving vent to his hilariously misplaced victim complex.
Ronaldo may be about to lose his world player of the year title to Lionel Messi, although he remains the best player in the world. He is, in that singular sense, irreplaceable – after all, there is only one "best player in the world" – but the calculations should not end there. Each individual has both pluses and minuses and the problem with Ronaldo is that while he is better than the best in the purest footballing sense, he has also shown himself to be worse than most when it comes to being a colleague, an example, a respectful team member.
At this stage in the proceedings, we should not spend time worrying about Ferguson's dignity in the face of Ronaldo's disrespectful attitude. The Scot can look after himself. In the past he has never been slow to jettison players, even the great ones, but whereas the likes of Eric Cantona and Bryan Robson had passed the peak of their careers, Ronaldo is young enough and talented enough to become even better in the years ahead.
More than anything Ferguson is a winner. If he counts the sale of Jaap Stam, who was still at his rugged best when he was sold to Lazio, as his greatest managerial regret then one can only imagine how he would feel watching Ronaldo drive his Ferrari away from Old Trafford for the final time. Yet it will surely happen, and in time it will be viewed as yet another shrewd piece of business. The money will be nice – not least because it will allow Ferguson to refresh and to renew his squad – but there will be a wicked satisfaction, too, in watching Ronaldo and Real Madrid handle a marriage that seems star-crossed from the very start.
If the Portuguese thinks he has earned the right to treat the Scot with public contempt, then one can only wonder how he will conduct himself at the Bernabéu, where managers are not usually around long enough to earn an entire year's salary never mind a measure of respect. Likewise, if victimhood comes easily in an all-conquering Manchester United team, how will Ronaldo survive in a Madrid team that is not even the best in Spain?
The chances are he will adapt, for a while. Until the true Ronaldo begins to show himself once again. That's the thing about ducks; they can't disguise themselves for ever.
