The hardcare all weather swimmers are at war with the dryrobe brigade and it’s comical.
A new wave of trendsetters are flooding the country, the posh totty aren’t shooting up heroin or drinking cans at the beach, they’re just trying to dive into the magic sea, the robes are hardly offensive.
I’ve been swimming in the Irish sea for over two years since my second baby Eila was born and it’s the best antidote to stress, the sea sucks up all the anxiety.
People used to call me mad for hailing winter swimming incredible for your mental health.
But since it’s popularity has exploded, the wild swimming lifers aren’t happy that their paradise is being hijacked by the newbies.
The die hard folk who’ve been swimming in Balscadden Bay in Howth for donkeys years talk about the ‘champagne fizz’ feeling you get when you get out of the water as your blood is buzzing.
James Joyce opened Ulysses referencing the “scrotum tightening” effects of jumping into the Irish Sea.
It’s almost been the best kept secret on our island, it’s like a spa day out but free.
‘The new age snobs’ as the hardy call them are prancing around in the overpriced garments, after having a dunk in the sea, the robe will set you back 150 quid and they’re all sold out on Amazon.
A surge in sea swimming has filled Dublin’s hot bathing spots with folk huddled together in the trendy fleece lined robes, frankly the seasoned bathers feel like it’s an invasion.
A sign erected by the famous Forty Foot swimming spot in Dublin Bay read; “By order: no dryrobes or dyrobe types.”
One Dubliner posted a shot of the Sandycove poster of three people donned in dryrobes with a massive red X across their garbs
Karl Brophy tweeted: “Sandycove is a nation divided. Scotsman’s Bay is on the brink.”
“Warning: beware of dryrobe wankers,” read another poster spotted in Blackrock.
Another read: “Warning! Bathers are advised that sightings of Dryrobe w*nkers have increased in this area.”
Even Tubs weighed in on the debate last week saying: “Suddenly it’s become a thing,” he said, describing it to listeners as a “sleeping bag-type thing that you put on you when you get out of the sea.
“But now it’s become a bit of a status symbol – people are wearing it to go down to the shop, and come back, and no water was harmed in the making of this wearing of the dryrobe.
“It seems to be driving a lot of people mad.”
This week a judge ruled that planning permission must be quashed for the proposed monster wastewater treatment plant at Clonshaugh.
What a coup for the coastal crusader and niece of James Joyce, Sabrina Joyce Kemp who has effectively stopped over 300 million litres of effluent being pumped into the Irish sea just off Ireland’s Eye.
Thanks to Kemp and the Northside activists our sea has been protected for our kids to enjoy.
I for one am thrilled that a new appreciation for our seas is spreading.
With so much intrigue in our natural resource, the new age dry robe hippies and older swimming legends may actually be the driving force to save our seas from future pollution.
It’s only since the pandemic that such tribalism and snobbery has kicked in, but both sides are really on the same team, sea lovers.
