In an exclusive conversation with Hindustan Times, Yadav shared her journey of becoming a single adoptive mother, the challenges she faced, and why she chose to make adoption a completely normal part of her daughter's life from the very beginning.
A Decision Made at Just 14
Yadav revealed that her desire to adopt began when she was only 14 years old. Having lost her father, an army martyr, in a terrorist bomb blast when she was just nine months old, she developed an early wish to create a family on her own terms.
She recalled that while teaching at an orphanage in Delhi during her twenties, she met a baby girl with hearing and speech impairment. Although she helped arrange cochlear implants for the child, the organisation did not permit adoptions.
That experience, she said, became the turning point that transformed a quiet wish into a firm decision. She realised her dream of motherhood did not depend on a biological connection and knew she was ready to welcome a child into her life.
Why She Chose Adoption
For Yadav, adoption was deeply personal. She said her nurturing instincts had always been strong, and growing up in a country where stories of abandoned girls and female infanticide continue to surface strengthened her resolve.
A survivor of sexual assault and an acid attack, Yadav said her own journey taught her the importance of fighting for dignity, identity, and the right to exist. She wanted to raise a daughter who would know her worth from the very beginning and understand that girls can achieve anything when given equal opportunities.
She believes adoption was her way of living those values rather than simply speaking about them.
The Adoption Process Was Challenging but Necessary
Yadav described India's adoption process as lengthy and rigorous but said every step is essential to protect children.
Having spent the last decade working in child welfare activism, she understands why detailed registration, evaluations, paperwork, and home studies are mandatory. According to her, the entire process helps ensure a child's safety and prepares prospective parents for the responsibilities of motherhood.
She added that the moment she finally held Vanmayi in court made every challenge worthwhile.
Facing Questions About Being a Single Mother
Like many single adoptive parents, Yadav encountered doubts and traditional mindsets. People questioned whether she could manage parenting alone and wondered why she had not followed a more conventional path.
Instead of allowing such comments to discourage her, she focused on creating the life she wanted for her daughter. She credited her mother and grandmother for standing by her after initially expressing concerns.
One milestone that remains especially meaningful to her is seeing her own name listed as Vanmayi's only parent on official documents, with no father's name required. She sees it as a small but powerful step toward challenging patriarchal norms.
Inspired by Her Mother's Strength
Yadav also spoke about the influence of her own mother, who served as a police officer for three decades while raising her as a single parent.
Watching her mother navigate societal judgments with resilience convinced Yadav that women are fully capable of raising families independently. Today, she says, her mother is a devoted grandmother to Vanmayi and continues to inspire both generations.
Balancing Motherhood and Advocacy
Apart from being a mother, Yadav is the founder of Shaheed Ramashray Welfare Society, an NGO, and works extensively with survivors of sexual violence, domestic violence, child welfare, and mental health initiatives.
Balancing activism with parenting is not always easy, she admitted, but it feels natural because she herself was raised by a single mother.
Rather than chasing perfection, Yadav focuses on being emotionally present for her daughter. She also relies on the support of her mother and has seamlessly integrated her advocacy work into Vanmayi's upbringing. As a result, her daughter has grown up surrounded by conversations about adoption, mental health, compassion, and social change.
Raising Her Daughter With Complete Honesty
Perhaps the most unique aspect of Yadav's parenting approach is that she never had a single conversation where she "told" Vanmayi she was adopted.
Instead, adoption has always been a normal part of their family story.
From an early age, Yadav introduced her daughter to children's books about adoption, surrogacy, and different kinds of families. She also used everyday experiences, such as helping stray Indie dogs find loving homes, to explain the meaning of adoption in a relatable way.
Today, Vanmayi confidently speaks about adoption and has even discussed it during school competitions. Yadav believes this confidence comes from complete honesty and open conversations about the differences between biological and adoptive families.
For her, transparency was never optional. By making adoption an ordinary and celebrated part of everyday life, she hopes her daughter grows up embracing her story with pride and confidence.
