Cruelty to children? ... Connie Fisher in The Sound of Music. Photograph: Tristram Kenton
The BBC's musical factory is about to pop out a couple more stars of the stage this year.
I'd Do Anything - a nationwide search for someone special to play Oliver - will be 2008's answer to the popular How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria and Any Dream Will Do.
Actually they won't be so special, as they're looking for three boys to share the lead and someone to take the role of Bill Sikes' girlfriend Nancy.
"Brilliant!" is my first reaction. Oliver! has hits aplenty - Oom Pah Pah, Consider Yourself, I'd Do Anything ... Tomorrow (sorry, wrong orphan).
But the genius of the previous TV shows, that have made stars of Connie Fisher and Lee Mead, is the priceless finale each week.
The losing Maria or Joseph, having just lost the sing-off, had to sing once more as they exited the show. Now, holding a high note in front of a studio audience while still struggling to comprehend why you have just been booted out of a musical popularity contest can't be easy. It does, however, make for a fantastic viewing experience.
All of which is fine if you're old enough for the role of Nancy, but what about the losing kids playing Oliver? Will they have their bowl of gruel wrested from their hands while simultaneously singing Where is Love? That would be cruel - although, perhaps a valuable learning experience for the business of show.
According to audition guidelines all 15 Olivers chosen for the TV programme will make it through to the quarter finals. Then eight will go through to the semis.
But if there isn't a sing-off for the eponymous character every single week then what's the point? I have such faith in the sing-off that it should be employed in almost every situation to determine a winner: job interviews, the general election - you name it.
Can't we just do the show without the kids and search for a Thoroughly Modern Millie or a Desperately Seeking Susan instead? Actually, forget the last one.
Another worrying thought: if we've found a Maria, a Joseph, and soon an Oliver, surely the search for everyone's second favourite singing orphan can't be too far off?
