It's that time of year again, the season when rocking up at work with a hangover is a sign that the office party was a success and not a sign you should be fired, when novelty jumpers are acceptable officewear and when stuffing your face with mince pies, chocolate and mulled wine is the default.
We've been getting into the Christmas spirit with a great hit-and-miss list from Liam Scott-Smith, as well as a scrooge-themed article by James Derounian on why Eric Pickles must do more to promote real localism.
Continuing the theme, and in a bid to spread some yuletide hilarity among local government ranks, the guys who used to run the We Love Local Government blog have sent us their fantastic local government carols. So, grab (another) mince pie, gather your colleagues around the computer and get singing these crackers ...
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
God rest ye Eric Pickles
Let nothing you dismay
We know we must make savings and
We're working hard this day
To save us from the deficit and
Make George Osborne go away
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
We have it all in hand you see
We have a cunning plan
It's just that members won't agree
And the leader's not a fan
We're getting the consultants in
Before it goes down the pan
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
We've tried to cut the easy stuff
Like collecting the bins
We've also tried to cut our staff
But the unions waded in
We can't cut children's social care
So where do we begin?
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
"Fear not then," said the interim
"Let nothing you affright
I'm a lean six sigma black belt
and now it will be alright"
But his contract has just been cut
And we're left in a plight
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
White Christmas
I'm dreaming of a safe sector
Just like the one I used to know
Where the funding went up
While new teams set up,
A service to stop KPI's being low
I'm dreaming of a safe sector
With every application I write
May your colleagues wish you good luck
And may all your budget books add up
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names,
So Rudolph launched grievance proceedings against them and they were disciplined and sent to mandatory equalities training
Away in a Manger
Away in a manger
No crib for a bed
The charming slum landlords let out a shed
The man from the council prosecuted the crook
But we couldn't find new housing for the people whose housing we took
I love the green spaces
And the gardens we protect
But we need to find spaces for people to live in, that aren't in a shed
Silent Night
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
But then the council reduced the number of street lights on and cut the number of noise enforcement officers.
The Christmas Song
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Regulated vendors sing
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
With the right street permitting
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Provided with food hygiene right
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Know that the bonfire is safe tonight
We Three Kings
We three mangers of public health
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Hospital and PCT
Health and well being figures
Following yonder town hall
O town hall of wonder, town hall of night
Town hall with royal beauty bright
Political leading, still proceeding
Guide us to thy perfect public health
Hark the Herald Angels Sing
Hark! The DCLG sing, "Glory to the overweight king"
Peace on earth and mercy mild
Staff and members reconciled
Joyful, all ye councils rise
Join the triumph of our demise
With the angelic host proclaim:
"The whole community is fair game"
Hark! The DCLG sing "Glory to the overweight king"
Gareth Young and Glen Ocsko are local government officers who used to run the We Love Local Government blog
Send us your pictures of you and your team in full festive swing and we'll repost them. And don't forget to sign up to become a member of the network if you haven't already.
