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Crikey
Crikey
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Emma Elsworthy

Simon says: let’s play nice

NASTY MAN

We Liberals should stop being so nasty and divisive, Senator Simon Birmingham says, because being “a party struggling with women, migrants, urban or younger voters” is making us election losers. Writing for The Age ($), the opposition leader in the Senate says he has a circle of friends including “complicated step-parenting arrangements, hard-working single parents and same-sex parents” (hmm, it’s probably fair to say one of these cops a bit more flak than the others…), continuing he, and “most” Liberal voters, don’t judge them. A rather eyebrow-raising statement, though admittedly the 2017 same-sex marriage plebiscite saw three-quarters of former PM Tony Abbott’s longtime Liberal seat of Warringah vote yes, as Guardian Australia reported at the time.

To another seat the Liberals fumbled, and the fall of Aston, a Liberal stronghold, means the party has just two seats in metro Melbourne (Menzies and Deakin) and 56 seats in the lower house (to Labor’s 78). In the aftermath of the red flip, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton says the Liberals are great, but people just don’t know it, Sky News reports. The one thing the party is not good at is “selling what we’ve done and how effective we’ve been in the past”, Dutton says, including overseeing the highest uptake of solar per capita anywhere in the world. Hey, we’ll probably learn whether the Liberals will back the Indigenous Voice to Parliament today, the SMH ($) reports — Dutton and his MPs are getting together to make the call this morning. La Trobe MP Jason Wood reckons if it’s put to a vote, the party would say no. Then again, Dutton could pull rank and say yes — when pigs fly, says The Australian ($), which reports the Libs will side with the staunchly opposed Nationals. The third option is an alternative proposal to the Voice, which may offer constitutional recognition but no advisory body. Dismal.

THE DONALD IN COURT

Well it’s official. Former president of the United States and probable Republican nominee for the 2024 presidential election Donald Trump has been arrested overnight at Manhattan Federal Court — check out the footage. He pleaded not guilty to 34 felony counts (carrying a maximum sentence of more than 100 years) related to falsifying business records after he gave fingerprints and a possible mug shot, The Australian ($) reports. The criminal charges are thought to be related to alleged hush money paid to porn star Stormy Daniels, who claims she and Trump had an affair in 2006, as well as to a second woman — former Playboy model Karen McDougal.

Just a reminder that this does not rule Trump out as the next US president — incredibly, he could even rule from prison, as The Washington Post ($) reports, and he wouldn’t even be the first. Google Eugene V Debs for more, though expect a rather different bloke. Anyway — during the arraignment Reuters says the judge told Trump to avoid social media posts that could lead to civil unrest in the US. In late March, Trump posted that only a “degenerate psychopath” would dare to charge him. Some more quick facts, courtesy of The Guardian: Trump is on the way home to his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida (there’s no bail in these sorts of charges), a limited number of reporters and photographers (but no film crews) were in the courtroom to hear the charges, and the actual trial is probably months away. Trump’s ever-reluctant wife, Melania Trump, was nowhere to be seen.

FEELING DEFLATED

Australian renters have paid an extra $2727 in the past 12 months after rents increased by 10%, according to CoreLogic’s latest review. Guardian Australia reports it works out to be about $52 a week — and the chronic undersupply of rental properties was to blame. It comes as Sydney has overtaken Canberra as the most expensive capital to rent in Australia, with an average price of just under $700 a week. The landed gentry, on the other hand, has reason to cheer — units increased in value by 4% over the quarter, and houses were up 2%. But some of the 59,000 new international students are pitching tents in living rooms for short accommodation, the ABC reports, and paying $300 a week for the pleasure of doing so.

Meanwhile, it’s probably a good time to put money into your HECS debt, if you have any spare — almost 3 million people with student loans will see their debt increase by a whopping 6% on June 1. It’s more than double the usual hike, John Collett writes for the SMH ($), and is surging due to inflation (HECS is indexed). In dollar terms it means “$1440 would be added to the average-sized HECS balance of about $24,000, while $3000 would be added to a $50,000 debt”, he warns (about 280,000 have a debt larger than that). For students yet to feel the pinch of HECS in their weekly pay, as The Australian ($) reports, times are good — at the University of the Sunshine Coast, the University of Queensland, Macquarie University, the University of Western Australia and Swinburne University of Technology, anyway. An AI tool analysed the faces of students’ Instagram photos on campus and found the Sunny Coast was home to the most smiley young folks (the other unis came in high, too).

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

Some years back, former Australian diplomat Jeremy Dicker was studying at Sydney University and playing the saxophone for a bit of extra cash. Whistling on his way home from his gigs, Dicker would often run into a friendly local on the street he’ll call Bill. Bill was a “classic ’80s rocker like Bill Nighy in Love Actually“, he recalls, “a lost but kind soul”. They’d bond over a shared love for music and always end their chats with Bill insisting they should jam together. One night, Bill came busting up to Dicker about a gig he’d secured for them. Dicker’s scepticism was overridden by Bill’s insistence the pay was $1000 — each. So Dicker dutifully jotted down the rehearsal time and date, and when he turned up with his sax, he met the rest of the band — rough old codgers just like Bill, all promised a grand each. Who was this cashed-up booker, a mystified Dicker asked? Russell Crowe, they responded nonchalantly.

Dicker had misgivings, but no one batted an eyelid, so he “shut up and kept playing”. When he turned up for the gig — at Hordern Pavilion, no less — he started to wonder if they really were telling the truth about Rusty. As the band walked on stage, Dicker realised a swish black-tie crowd was watching on, jam-packed with the crème de la crème of Australia’s celebrities and media. It turned out to be the premiere of Ron Howard’s Cinderella Man, a flick about a boxer. When Crowe took to the microphone, he spoke of the power of second chances and the film’s message of triumph in tough times. That’s when Crowe asked for a special round of applause “…for tonight’s band, made up entirely” — pointing directly at Dicker — “of homeless men!” Wait, what?! Dicker says he wasn’t really worried by the slight mischaracterisation. Bill and the guys in the band were legends, he says, and it’s still the “coolest gig I’ll ever do”.

Hoping you can see through the labels today too.

Folks, it’s great to be back in your inbox this morning after my three-week trip home to Australia, and I take my hat off to my esteemed colleagues Anton Nilsson, Cam Wilson, Maeve McGregor, John Buckley and Charlie Lewis for writing the newsletter with such style and humour in my absence.

SAY WHAT?

Enough. @theage @smh have repeatedly published leaks of my private personal Instagram posts, inc one today about looking for work. It’s such a violation. And for what? I’m an unemployed member of the public. I deserve to be able to speak to my friends privately about my life.

Sally Rugg

The former staffer to Kooyong MP Monique Ryan took Nine Newspapers to task after its CBD column reported an Instagram post where Rugg says she was looking for work. Fair game or below the journalistic belt? You be the judge.

CRIKEY RECAP

Depraved paradise: Perth’s $100m surf park and Western Australia’s gutted soul

“But beyond the environmental impact, what’s also striking about the Perth Surf Park is its fundamental silliness, a continuation of a silliness that’s dictated Perth’s progress for almost two decades now. Y’see, Perth with money is a little like a mule with a spinning wheel: sure, we know how we got it, but danged if we know how to use it.

“There is something mordantly comical about building a wave park in a place globally renowned for its pristine beaches and choice surfing spots. Of course, not everyone can access said beaches, such as those in our far-flung satellite suburbs, a reflection of the idiocy of our urban planning, the underfunding of public transport and public spaces, and the steady erosion of community and culture via the vast alien mindstate …”


How the ghost of John Howard haunted the Aston byelection

“No one of a certain vintage could easily forget Howard’s ability to swing an election through unconcealed appeals to racist resentment on asylum seekers, the scars of which linger. Nor could anyone truly forget the egregious falsehoods festooned over the Iraq War and the suite of anti-terrorism measures that followed.

“And, still less, Howard’s climate scepticism, the irrational loathing he fomented against Indigenous peoples and his conflation of welfare with ‘dependency culture’, which so happened to coincide with the shameless introduction of profligate tax breaks and perks for middle- and upper-Australia. It was under Howard, in other words, that the country and its attitudes hardened, becoming less equal, less free, less generous, meaner and more divided and corrupt than ever.”


Teens are already scheming about how to get around NSW’s school phone ban

“Students in states where governments have banned phones share on TikTok creative ways of accessing their phones in schools. In South Australia, the government has spent tens of thousands of dollars buying Yondr pouches for students, which purportedly lock phones. Videos show students ‘hacking’ the pouches by smashing them against the ground to open them.

“Year 10 student Jordan was frustrated about the ‘ridiculous ban’ including lunchtimes and recess rather than just during class. He said the blanket ban could stop students from getting calls from family or friends in an emergency. (Other school bans typically allow students to access their phone if there is an emergency.)”

READ ALL ABOUT IT

Finland joins NATO as Russia’s war rages on in Ukraine (Al Jazeera)

Trump to turn himself in, facing historic day in New York court (Reuters)

Islamic State leader who claimed France terror attacks reportedly killed in Syria (EuroNews)

Jacinda Ardern leaves Parliament this week for jobs with Prince William and Christchurch Call (Stuff)

Amnesty International Canada head alleges discrimination after being barred from boarding flight (CBC)

Sweden has expelled 1100 British nationals since Brexit (The Guardian)

Elon Musk loses his position atop Forbes’ annual billionaires list (CNN)

China’s new tech weapon: dragging its feet on global merger approvals (The Wall Street Journal) ($)

THE COMMENTARIAT

Libs fail again on outdated campaign strategyEd Coper (The Australian) ($): “It happened again. This time it was the Aston byelection, but the same thing happened in NSW last month. It happened in Victoria, South Australia and at federal level last year; Western Australia the year before; and the year before that in Queensland, the ACT and the Northern Territory. It’s time to ask: why does Labor keep winning elections? Many threads weave the tapestry of an election outcome, but as the tide continues to go out on the Liberal Party everywhere there is one increasingly common thread that makes it clear the party simply hasn’t grasped the new reality of winning elections in the 2020s: digital advertising.

“Since we all stopped gathering around the 6pm TV news and instead started staring at our smartphones, the equation for political candidates has been clear: find new ways to get your message to the masses or miss out. It’s something commercial marketers already understand well, with 70% of all advertising dollars globally now spent on digital advertising. Why? Digital advertising is bespoke to you as an individual. It also looks less like advertising. Scroll through Instagram, and an ad looks no different from any other post. And so it is in politics. People often form their opinions on social media now, and if you want to influence those opinions you need to meet people where they are.”

Jacinda Ardern says goodbye to Parliament: how her politics of kindness fell on unkind timesGrant Duncan (The Conversation): “The ‘Jacinda effect’ wasn’t a flash in the pan, however. Labour’s election support went from 25% in 2014 to 37% in 2017, and then to an extraordinary 50% in 2020. Coming on the back of Ardern’s exemplary leadership through the COVID pandemic, it was an unprecedented result under the country’s proportional MMP system. Her belief in ‘kindness’ as a political force appeared to have been vindicated, if not for long. While New Zealand eventually recorded the world’s lowest excess mortality rate during the pandemic, this success was far from cost-free. In particular, there was a human and political price to pay for the lockdowns and border closures.

“Businesses struggled, many New Zealanders abroad couldn’t return, and many resisted the pressure to be vaccinated. No nation escaped unscathed, and in New Zealand resistance to vaccine mandates boiled over on the grounds of Parliament in early 2022. Some protesters were angered by Ardern’s trademark empathy and kindness, which they now perceived as a false front. Due to the extremist elements among the protests, she refused to address them directly. Ardern’s positive leadership reputation was earned on her responses to tragedies: the Christchurch terrorist attack, the Whakaari-White Island eruption, and the pandemic. But no sane politician would have welcomed such crises.”

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE

The Latest Headlines

WHAT’S ON TODAY

Kulin Nation Country (also known as Melbourne)

  • Assistant Minister for Competition, Charities & Treasury Andrew Leigh will give a talk on “Fair play, fair competition and economic dynamism” at the COSBOA Small Business Summit.

  • Comedians with a disability Adam Hills, Lara Ricote, Alexandra Hudson and Oliver Hunter will chat about working in their field, in a panel held by the Wheeler Centre.

Eora Nation Country (also known as Sydney)

  • RBA governor Philip Lowe will deliver a speech on “Monetary policy, demand and supply” at the Fullerton Hotel.

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