When did you discover you were funny?
Still waiting.
What was your big breakthrough?
My first paid gig, 26 years ago, at the Royal Oak in Islington, London. I got £25 and was delighted.
Do you suffer for your art?
Yes. Before a gig there's nervousness, tension, dread. Comedians generally don't live that long: there's a lot of travel, a lot of Ginsters sandwiches. It's a bit like being a long-distance lorry driver, but with more stress at the end of the journey.
You're an "alternative" comedian. What does this actually mean?
I believe the phrase was invented by the comedian Tony Allen and has vanished a bit now. It came out of the new-wave punk-rock scene, and the fact that there were clubs being set up in pub back rooms. The difference lay in the ownership of jokes: alternative comedians wrote their own, and fights would break out if another comic tried to steal one; while mainstream comedians shared material.
What's the biggest threat to comedy today?
Itself: it might just pop like a bubble. And TV, maybe. A promoter told me recently that people used to go out to their local comedy club without caring who was on, but now they might only go to see someone they've seen on TV. But I think people will always love being in an audience: there's something magical about being in a room with a group of people, all laughing at the same thing.
What's the biggest myth about being a comedian?
That you're a repository for jokes. All taxi drivers say: "Oh, you're a comedian, are you? Here's one for you." It's a bit like saying to someone: "Oh, you're a boxer, are you? Let me punch you." Off-duty, I try to be as unfunny as I can.
What work of art would you most like to own?
I really wouldn't want to own a work of art, or anything else of beauty or value. I have three children under 10. Nothing in our house is safe from crayons.
Do you do comedy for the money or the love?
I'm not sure any more. I drifted into it because I loved it and I still do, but after a while – say 10 years – it's how you earn a living. The wind changes and you're stuck like that. It's still more for the love than the money, but I need the money – I've got crayons to buy.
What's the worst thing anyone ever said about you?
A reviewer once said my "rudimentary guitar-playing does not redeem shoddy lyrics". I was flattered by the bit about the guitar – I only started playing since I lost the use of my left hand due to nerve damage, and I can't really play a chord. But I disagreed with "shoddy lyrics". I was so angry I wrote a reply, but never bothered sending it.
Is there anything about your career you regret?
I wish it had gone better.
CV
Born: Middlesex, 1967
Career: Has performed regularly as a stand-up and on TV and radio since joining Footlights at Cambridge University. Best known for creating such comic characters as Alan Parker: Urban Warrior and The League Against Tedium. His latest show Fylm is at the Phoenix, Exeter, tomorrow, then touring (simonmunnery.com).
Low point: "A gig at a college in Preston. The only laugh I got was when I fell off the stage, hit my shin on a table, and lay on the floor bleeding."
High point: "That same gig – I realised there was no need for jokes."
