Bullying is an incredibly stressful experience, not just for the child going through it but for the parents too. It can be hard to know what to do, as every individual situation is different.
But whatever your child is going through, spotting the early signs can be vital in dealing with the problem as efficiently as possible. The Scottish Government has a law in place that says all state schools must have a behaviour policy in place that includes measures to prevent all forms of bullying among pupils, but, unfortunately, it doesn't always stop issues from arising.
This week (starting November 14) is Anti-Bullying Week, Hull Live reports. And to help parents spot the signs, Catherine Talbot, Education Learning Designer at the expert safeguarding course providers, High Speed Training, has shared some red flags and advice on what parents should do if they suspect a child is being bullied.
Physical signs
These are often the most obvious sign that a child is being bullied. Marks such as cuts and bruises are often indicative of physical abuse, but Catherine says it's important to approach the conversation very carefully.
She said: "When asked, your child may not have an explanation for how these injuries occurred, or may offer a reason that doesn’t seem to fit with the injury.
"There may be a reasonable, unconcerning explanation for these injuries, but it’s important to discuss them with your child and to raise them with the school. Physical abuse can quickly escalate, so it’s vital that you get on top of it quickly."
Emotional signs
If your child is becoming isolated, quiet and withdrawn from their friends and family, it could be a sign that something is going on. Eating more or less than usual is also a red flag, so if you know your child and know how they act, consider talking to them if their behaviour has changed.
Catherine suggests that a good way to do this is by raising the conversation during a relaxing or informal activity, such as a trip to the cinema.
Academic signs
When a child is being bullied at school, it can cause a lot of anxiety around attendance as well as poorly affect their performance and marks.
Catherine continued: "You may also notice that personal items appear to be going missing unexplainably, lunch money is disappearing, or that their clothes or belongings are being damaged. If you do notice this is happening, raise the issue with the school to bring it to their attention and to help address the issue."
Online signs
Caroline Allams, Natterhub co-founder and former educator, said: "Online or cyberbullying is a real concern for parents and carers. Our 2022 Natterhub report shows over half of 10-11 year olds have witnessed or experienced cyberbullying, and almost three quarters of 9-10 year olds say the same.
"Feeling upset or anxious when online is also something that over half of 7-9 year olds have experienced, so it is right that parents become aware of the signs to look out for and exert some level of control over internet use for primary-aged children."
Although cyberbullying can take many forms, the most common kind is upsetting or threatening messages, pictures or videos being sent to your child, or exclusion from group chats. A good way to monitor internet use is by setting boundaries around screen time and making sure your child knows they can come to you if there's a problem.
How to address bullying with your child
Discuss the facts
Try and find out how long the bullying has been going on, who has been doing it, and what they've been doing. You should let them talk about their experiences without interrupting them - let them share their own version of events.
Support and reassure them
This is the most important thing, as they'll likely be feeling a range of emotions. Catherine says: "Reassure them that it’s not their fault that they’re experiencing this, and that you’re going to help them get through it and will be there every step of the way."
Discourage retaliation
It's normal for children to feel angry in these situations, but violence is never the answer. Instead, Catherine suggests discussing non-violent solutions - such as what they want to happen, and the best way to proceed with any complaints.
Control your emotions
Keeping a level head and not storming off immediately to speak to the school is important if your child doesn't want you to do this. In fact, it may put them off from speaking to you about any issues in the future.
Talk to the school
Catherine said: "Once you’ve spoken to your child, and discussed how to proceed, you may want to raise the issue with people at school to address it. Make an appointment with the relevant person at the school, and work with them to solve the problem, you can also ask for a copy of their anti bullying policy."
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