It’s the busiest time of year for the nation’s postal workers, so who could be more deserving of a nice sit down and a piece of cake (or eight)? Our panel of five testers – Sanjeev Ramdehal, Shannon Bateman, Gordon Rodger, Diana A Bempah and Gloria Garcia – were plucked from the post room at the Mount Pleasant mail centre in London and tasked with sorting the iced wheat from the chaff. Which cakes would make a welcome parcel and which would be returned to sender?
Waitrose Christmas Signature Spice Rich Fruit Cake, £15/1.3kg
This cake’s Christmassy good looks were worth writing home about, festooned as it was with nuts, cherries and marzipan stars, but it dropped a mark for being “a tad too dry”. “Might have gone better with a bit of custard or single cream,” suggested Sanjeev Ramdehal. Because what you need at Christmas is more calories.
4/5
Daylesford Organic Fruit & Nut Cake, £30/1.4kg
Initially, the panel members were horrified by the price – “Thirty quid? You’re having a laugh” – but most conceded that it delivered, being full of brandy-soaked fruit and topped with candied orange slices. Everyone noted how moist the cake was, but Shannon Bateman found it “too rich”. Ramdehal thought it was “twice the price but half the taste” of the Waitrose cake. Gordon Rodger spoke for everyone when he concluded: “Very nice, but £30 is too much for a cake.”
4/5
WINNER: Aldi Luxury Hand Crafted Christmas Cake, £9.99/1.5kg
This cake, on the other hand, was lauded for its low price. In fact, it got high praise across the board for its “pretty” looks, the “moist, fruity cake” and the not-too-sweet icing, making it one special delivery. Diana A Bempah was the only dissenter, who felt there was “not enough cake, all icing”. And Ramdehal had a little trouble with the decoration: “Can I eat that leaf? I just did, but I don’t think I should have – it’s paper!”
4/5
Budgens Iced Christmas Cake, £7.99/850g
Roundly condemned as “dry”, “very dry” or “very, very dry”. Bateman found the taste of ginger overpowering while Gloria Garcia could “taste the flour”. The verdict? “Horrible.” The worst cake in the tasting – and the only one to be left behind in the postroom.
1/5
Tesco Finest Winter Enchantment Cake, £20/1.9kg
This two-tier cake looked good but was found to contain a controversial ingredient: chocolate. There were complaints: “That’s not a Christmas cake, it’s a chocolate cake!” It divided opinion, with two tasters awarding full marks and another giving it just one out of five. Some were outraged by the price.
3/5
Betty’s Royal Iced Bell Christmas Cake, £22.95/1kg
The panel were not impressed: the cake was too dry, the icing too hard and the price too high. Some thought the spicing levels were off – “It tastes like a curry!” And one thought it provided grounds to close Betty’s tearooms for crimes against cakes. Return to sender.
2/5
Marks & Spencer Penguin Party Cake, £20/1.5kg
This cake is shaped like an igloo complete with penguins, and cutting into it reveals a secret penguin face – which sounds sinister, but was greeted with rapture. It is also, crucially, a sponge rather than a fruit cake – or “proper cake”, as one taster said, while querying its Christmas credentials – “It’s a birthday cake!” Most tasters loved it anyway. As Ramdehal said: “It’s a party cake, so it’s well nice.”
4/5
Heston from Waitrose Chocolate Christmas Cake, £15/1.22kg
“Looks like a Christmas pudding but tastes only of chocolate,” said Ramdehal. “I know what I like, and I don’t like that,” said Rodger. “How can you like that?” asked Garcia. “Tell Heston to do a better one next year,” said Bateman. Oh dear. Maybe this chocolate and fruit cake suffered from being tasted last – as Bempah said, “I never want to see another cake again.”
2/5
