In that seminal 1988 movie, My Stepmother Is an Alien, Kim Basinger plays an alien sent to earth on a secret mission, only to discover that there is a gap between what she's been told the world is like and how it really is.
After all, knowing that some men have sex appeal is no preparation for meeting one who has it; snow is indeed cold but it is much more. Would you know what I was describing if I said that it is like smoke but without fire (mist). Or what about a large amount of water formed into a vertical arrangement travelling in one direction? That's a wave.
The complexities of the world, and the failure of words to explain or define them, is explored in this neat monologue penned by Tim Etchells of Forced Entertainment and performed by Jim Fletcher of Richard Maxwell's New York City Players. Unlike the world it conjures, it is absurdly simple. Fletcher stands on one spot - a great man mountain - and delivers a series of statements deadpan, like a stream of consciousness: a cat will die if you try to dry it using a microwave; socks are gloves for the feet; water is the same thing as ice; having a baby can help pass the time; theatre is mainly pretending.
The effect is both absurdly comic and faintly troubling. The format hints at the quiz show where the contestant is put on the spot and has to recall everything they know. But as the hour progresses, knowing is not enough. In a sense, what we are witnessing is our own tragedy: to know everything about the world and yet understand nothing at all.
