What has 23 legs, costs $1.10 but brings in a $532,000 windfall?
Answer: a bet on 23 college basketball games.
A FanDuel bettor found that out last Tuesday when his combination of spread and moneyline bets — at plus-90,869,356 odds — amazingly came home. It’s sort of like trading a quarter-gallon of gas for a Lamborghini Aventador.
He would have won even more, but one of the legs — Saint Louis minus-11 vs. against Saint Joseph’s — resulted in a push. Somehow, though, we don’t think the lucky winner is complaining.
Headlines
— At TheOnion.com: “Beijing streets overrun by hundreds of stray Olympians after end of Games.”
— At Fark.com: “Steph Curry interrupts NBA All Star game to put on a shooting clinic.”
Snakes alive
Snakes on a playing field, anyone? An obnoxious ophidian invaded a soccer pitch in Guatemala, delaying a game between Nueva Concepcion and Municipal.
The serpent, needless to say, was immediately designated for relegation.
It’s no slam dunk
Participants shot a combined 28% — 7 for 25 — in the first round of the NBA Slam-Dunk Contest.
By comparison, Steph Curry hit 16 of 27 3-pointers — 59% — in the All-Star Game.
Slap-happy
Remember those Mennen Skin Bracer TV commercials in which a man can’t help slapping himself in the face a bit too hard as he applies his aftershave?
Alas, Juwan Howard was born too early.
Back to Lake Placid
The next time “Do you believe in miracles?!” — coined by Al Michaels 42 years ago — will next be uttered when:
a) the Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl
b) baseball owners come out the winners in the players strike
c) the Russians go an entire Olympics without testing positive
Family reunion?
LeBron James says he wants to play his final NBA season alongside whichever team drafts his son Bronny, a high school junior.
“Hey, come up with your own shtick!” said the Griffeys.
Watch watch
The Charlotte Hornets’ LaMelo Ball is coming out with a line of signature wristwatches.
As an added feature, it beeps every 24 seconds but it doesn’t measure steps.
Spare a dollar?
Washington Football Team — er, Commanders — owner Daniel Snyder spent $48 million in a cash transaction for a lavish Virginia estate, the most expensive home sale ever in the Washington, D.C., area.
Hope he has little left over for a FedEx Stadium fixer-upper.
Points taken
Shocking halftime score from the NBA All-Star Game: Team Durant 94, Team LeBron 93.
Shocker No. 2: Neither team fired its defensive coordinator.
Tough talks
Major breakthrough at the MLB bargaining table: Both sides agree that it will remain three strikes and you’re out, but only after considerable arguing.
Talking the talk
— David Whitley of the Gainesville (Fla.) Sun, on MLB not testing players for steroids for the first time in 20 years: “In totally unrelated news, Barry Bonds announced he is stepping out of retirement and will bat cleanup for the Giants this season.”
— Nick Canepa of The San Diego Union-Tribune, after one round of MLB-MLBPA “negotiations” lasted 15 minutes: “Primarily because the Pledge of Allegiance went long.”
Get me rewrite
Sports bromides (updated): Defense wins championships, just not NBA All-Star Games.
Quote marks
— 76ers coach Doc Rivers, to reporters, on fitting in James Harden after acquiring him so late in the season: “We’re just going to have to figure it out on the fly. Speed dating, that’s what this is.”
— Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after LeBron James said a potential third stint with the Cleveland Cavaliers is possible: “LeBron is becoming to NBA teams what Elizabeth Taylor was to husbands.”
— RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on Global AgeWatch Index ranking 96 of the world’s best places for seniors to live: “Its top three are Switzerland, Norway and the L.A. Lakers.”
Oppression obsession
The Winter Olympics in China, the World Cup in Qatar.
Maybe they ought to go for a human-rights hat trick and stick a Super Bowl in Saudi Arabia.
Quote, end quote
— Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, defending the Dolphins against ex-coach Brian Flores’ allegations that race played a role in his firing: “He could be right, but I believe the Dolphins fired Flores because they are a bungling organization more than a bigoted one.”
— Bears Hall of Famer Dick Butkus: “I don’t know what’s longer — the wait for football season to start or my receipt from CVS.”
— Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on the stalled baseball talks: “Neither side is worthy of praise or support. If you ‘take sides’ here, you are merely selecting the tallest of the Seven Dwarfs.”
