To us, you’re hearing people
If you’re not deaf, you’re generally defined, among deaf people, as a “hearing person”. And you’re not all that popular, for a number of reasons. For a start, it was hearing people who decided to ban sign language from education in the late 19th century. Then there are the ongoing barriers deaf people face in almost every area of life, from work to education, to accessing healthcare. And how do you think hearing people are doing when it comes to, say, running the world? You’re not all bad – some of you are our beloved friends, family members, colleagues and neighbours, but if you’re really honest with yourself you’ll realise hearing folk have a lot to answer for.
There’s more than one type of deaf person
Some deaf people communicate purely in British Sign Language (BSL), others sign using English word order (Sign Supported English), some speak, some use hearing aids or cochlear implants, some lip-read, and many use a whole mixture of the above – a kind of communication cocktail, depending on who they’re talking to. So, if you’re going to a deaf party, be prepared to be flexible. If all else fails, you can always use a notepad to get your drinks order in.
A little bit of deaf awareness goes a long way
Learn some sign language, maintain eye contact, speak clearly, and don’t stand in front of a bright light so that you become a silhouette – these are just a few basic deaf awareness tips. But it’s not about simply being aware of the existence of deaf people – although clearly that’s a good starting point. It’s about including us in those everyday shared moments that help people feel connected. Whether that’s having a chat over a cup of tea or having a wild time at a party, deaf people would like to join in. So how can hearing people pick up a little sign language? It’s actually quite simple to use phrases such as “How are you?” or “Fancy a cuppa?” – just take a look at the brilliant short videos created by Cadbury Fingers, which has teamed up with the National Deaf Children’s Society to create Sign with Fingers Big and Small, a campaign to help deaf people feel more included.
Don’t be intimidated by BSL
It’d be easy to look at the translators who appear in the corner of the screen on telly and feel intimidated. But no one’s expecting the typical hearing person to be able to sign at the level of one of those signing ninjas. Learning the fingerspelling alphabet allows you to convey single words, while a starter BSL course gives you the ability to express and understand basic communication. Beyond that, you can get really conversational, heading towards the holy grail – being able to gossip in BSL without anyone eavesdropping.
Lip-reading is mostly guesswork – not a superpower
Film and TV shows may depict deaf people lip-reading from 30 feet away, or from fuzzy CCTV footage of a criminal speaking about a gruesome murder, but in reality it’s estimated that 70% of lip-reading is guesswork. And if you’ve got a beard, or mumble, or look away while you’re speaking to a deaf person, this can rapidly approach 100% – leading to us doing a runner rather than having to continue talking to you.
Deaf people have sign names
I feel sorry for hearing people stuck with bog-standard names such as Alan and John. Deaf people have sign names that give a sense of who we are. My sign name looks a bit like taking a photograph mixed with the letter “C” for Charlie. The reason? Because I love photography. I’ve got friends with names such as Waffle – for a friend who talks too much – and Quiff for someone who, er, has a quiff. One catch – sign names must be given, so you can’t create your own. Which means you might get stuck with one you don’t like, as my friend Murder, who isn’t actually a serial killer, found to his cost.
Shouting doesn’t help us understand you
Unless what you want us to understand is that you’re slightly aggressive.
Deaf people are more direct
Sign language is very visual, so be prepared to embrace a much more direct culture, where people tend to get to the point. If you’ve smeared food across your face at a deaf gathering, you’re going to be told immediately and in the most visually descriptive way possible. Which might seem embarrassing at the time, but the upside is that you’ve been told approximately two hours earlier than you would have been by a hearing person.
Deaf hugs are bone-crushing
Deaf hugs are without doubt the strongest type of hug. Maybe it’s because sign language is visual and physical, or maybe it’s because we’re just so happy to meet another person who can sign that we can’t help but show it. Either way, I recommend that alongside taking BSL lessons, you also take gym classes to strengthen your core so that you’re prepared for what you’re about to face.
Sign language isn’t universal
Just as there isn’t one spoken language in the world, there isn’t a universal version of sign language – however much some hearing people think it would be convenient if there were. And not only are there different sign languages in use all over the world, countries also have regional variations, so that certain signs vary even across the UK, just as dialects and accents do in spoken language. I like to think it’s our way of keeping people on their toes.
We can all do our bit to make the world a more deaf-friendly place, and Cadbury Fingers, along with the National Deaf Children’s Society, has plenty of tips and basic BSL for hearing people to learn. Find out more about their work to make sure no one is left out of the conversation
