You'd have thought that "touch and control" were basic requirements for a Premier League footballer. Not for Bebe, the striker signed for £7m by Manchester United in the summer – without the manager ever seeing him play. Sir Alex Ferguson told everyone: "Sometimes you just have to go with instinct." Bebe has been so poor in training, he can't even get a game for the reserves.
Ferguson isn't the first. In 1996, Southampton manager Graeme Souness received a phone call from a man claiming to be the former Fifa player of the year George Weah, suggesting he buy his cousin, Ali Dia, a Senegal international. None of this was true but Souness still handed over a fee believed to be around several million. Dia played just one game, coming on as substitute. He was so bad, he was himself substituted and left the club soon afterwards.
Still, it's arguably less embarrassing than buying a rubbish player in the full knowledge of what you can expect. Football has an abundance of these signings, of which perhaps the most famous is Bosko Balaban. Aston Villa boss John Gregory paid a club record £6.5m for the Croatian international in 2001. Balaban made just nine appearances in two and a half years.
With Rafael Scheidt the clue should have been in the name. But Celtic paid £4.8m for the player of whom one team-mate said, "the guy couldnae trap a bag of cement". Scheidt played just once for the Glasgow club.
