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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

Should I pursue a relationship with somebody who is grieving?

‘I don’t want to scare her away during a difficult time.’
‘I don’t want to scare her away during a difficult time.’ Photograph: PeopleImages.com/Getty Images

I began getting to know someone earlier in the year, just before she lost her father after a short illness. Since then, we have met up once or twice, and we text a lot. She hasn’t really opened up to me to me about her loss or how her need to grieve might affect our prospects, nor had we got to the point of acknowledging that we liked each other before tragedy struck. But I’m still keen, because I think we have the makings of a really good relationship. I want to make sure I don’t come on too strong or scare her away as she goes through this difficult time, but I don’t want to let this one get away. What do you suggest?

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments).

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